Thursday, 30 May 2013

Ajoke................... The finished part.

Hello People..

Back to finish the story of Ajoke..... pls Click HERE for part 1

I apologise for bringing this late but here it is..

We didn't want to talk about how long I had left. We decided to savour every moment, I felt total peace  not thinking about anything but enjoying our companionship. I knew I didn't have enough time anymore, I felt I had to do something. I had heard that the contract might be extended for another six months which I was not sure I would be allowed to come back. It was agreed this project was a stepping stone for me and once the current contract finished, it would be time for me to leave for something else.

I couldn't bare not being with the love of my life Ajoke, she was so delicate yet firm. We had talked about marriage and I knew I would do anything for her to be  my wife but when I approached her family, her father blatantly refused me with all his might. He had said I wasn't Yoruba and he didn't trust the "likes of me". I was hurt, we both were hurt, we didn't want to give up but my parents didn't agree either. My mother especially didn't approve, the brief visit to my parents turned sour. I was not allowed to marry the love of my life because she wasn't from my tribe. We  were crushed but we knew we wanted our parents blessings and had to respect their decisions.

It was two days before I left  for good. Ajoke sneaked out late to be with me and we had decided to  meet up under the  palm tree near the old school. It was pretty late but we needed to be together, we both new its our last time to say our goodbyes.
We had laid next to each other looking at the clear blue sky,staring at the sparkling bright stars, we recounted our memories, we laughed  hard and we talked about how special we both were. That night, Ajoke felt it was right for her to offer me something she thought it was special to her. I looked at her desirably, I appreciated the gesture and every fiber in my body was screaming YES YES YES, but I couldn't. I loved her too much to feel her and not forever have her. It was not fair, my heart yelled, cried but it made it more special as Ajoke couldn't help but cry. She cried so hard, why is it so hard to just "love" and not think about  anything.We  knew both our parents were too adamant. Ajoke gave me  piece of her  cloth and placed in my hand to keep. We wished on the stars and hoped in our hearts that things would change one day.

I never loved any other woman like did Ajoke, I got married to a family friend  whom Mum praised and hailed, she was a lovely lady that cared for me and like wise but my heart belonged to Ajoke. I vowed to myself I would never stop my children from falling in love and marrying the lady or man of their choice as long as he/she  is the right one for them.

It was the graduation  of our first son, we had flown to the US to celebrate his graduation. He had been raving about this sweet lovely girl he had met and fell for. He said to me over the phone, Dad you will love her. I guess I couldn't wait to meet her. It was a lovely graduation, full of happy and proud parents cheering their children on. I was proud of him, he was incredibly ambitious and he had finished well. We had  gone back to the main hall to take pictures when he hurriedly came towards us with this sweet lady and introduced her. From her name, I could tell she was Yoruba, she was courteous and greeted us well. We were still talking to her when her parents approached us.

Thirty years on and  she still looked amazing. It felt like a dream. Her mother, was the love of my life, like a reflex, I proceeded to greet both her parents whom she also introduced to us.  I looked at my son and her sweetheart, they both were like love birds. Ajoke had stared consistently at me and eventually said my name. She was shocked as much as I was.

It was a beautiful wedding. Ajoke and I  had the opportunity to talk and we were both thankful about how life had turned out for our children. Who would have thought? It was great having her in my life again as a friend. I told my wife who she was and how I had  known her years back. Meeting Ajoke, made me appreciate my wife even more,  the love she has shown me over the years  was genuine even when  I felt withdrawn not consciously.

We both agreed everything happens its own time. Our experience had made us stronger in our own way. Did she miss me? Hell yeah she did but she had to move on, I was married so was she.

Nigeria today has changed. Am happy that  in our own little way, we are  embracing others culture and inter-tribal marriages are far more encouraged than before.
All the same am grateful my experience helped me to allow my children to be happy.

P.S. This was a fictional story inspired by the history of Nigeria.

I love inter-tribal marriages because to a degree its promotes "oneness". While some might argue against all sorts, I am simply happy that two individuals of different culture, ideologies and traditions are willing to make it work through alot of compromise and heartfelt desire to be together.

I hope  one day  I have an inter-tribal  marriage and if I don't my children might. lol.

Thanks for reading.
It is well with us. God is awesome.

Enjoy my Ole-ku outfits. x

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

In a Relationship........

Hello Everyone.....

Very quickly check this out...

In a relationship where one person seems to be giving more than the other? I'd say slow down.

In a relationship where your emotions seem to be at a faster pace...I'd say calm down and keep it in check.

In a relationship where you do most of the work...I'd say re-evaluate...

In a relationship where there is lack of appreciation and actions.. I'd say is it worth the hassle? No.

In a relationship where there is constant abuse e.g. verbal or emotional. I'd say step away from everything, be real  and if possible RUN. infact RUN and pray from afar. lol.

In a relationship where there is no FOCUS and aspiration. I'd say LEAVE or risk feeling worthless for a long time...


P.S. I have been busy thinking about my life lol so blogging was not in the picture, but am back to complete the story on Ajoke very soon pls Click here to read.

Hope we are all good and still remaining thankful.

God is good....renewing my love for him.

xoxoxo

Sunday, 5 May 2013

AJOKE..................

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are enjoying May and the spring... Yippie...

Without much ado...I present to you the story of the Month...  Pls Enjoy. xxx

It was precisely 4:00 pm, when I finally arrived  in Ibadan.  I had no choice but to endure the hot ride including the gruesome heat. Coming back to Nigeria can only bring a smile on my face, having endured four years of adapting to the UK's weather, I was glad to be back home. However, this new city have just arrived in is not my home but it will be over the next coming weeks, months and years. I had just got  back from the UK when I came to know about the opportunity that would take me to this city. I was not only excited at the thought of the project am working on but  the idea of working along side the new changes in Nigeria. It was our era, our time to take charge and make Nigeria the forefront of African countries. The plans on getting our independence was only too sweet to contain not much longer I  said to myself but had to quickly re position my mind to get familiar and get to work.

It was during one of  our several outings  to the local market that I first laid my eyes on her. She had a basket clung to her arm,  full of goodies. I could see fresh plantains, tomatoes, okras  and some more my brain could no longer bother to figure out. I had thought had seen beauties but she was an eye to behold. I suppose what I first noticed about her was her immaculate English while conversing with the trader. Her beautifully shaped elongated fingers paraded the air as she tried to describe something the trader couldn't understand. She really was beautiful and I could only find myself gaping at her lovely features. I was lost in trance  to notice my colleague had been trying to get my attention. I was definitely dreaming, I had to see her again I thought. No, I had to meet her and get to know her. For the next couple of days, I would be mesmerised  by a special  stranger. I devoted a great deal of my time mentally hatching plans on how to find her and meet her again. It wasn't until three months later that I saw her again, this  time it was in a local primary school where she taught. We had to go there as part of our project, I found out  later she was working for the local ministry who had taught her how to read and write. She spoke such impeccable English I was  impressed.

Finally, we were introduced by the madam of the local primary school who talked about how wonderful she is to the school. I sat in the most uncomfortable bench, watching with admiration as she poured the tea out for us to drink. The school has potential I heard my Manager say but the rest became humming sounds. She was cultured I could tell by the way she presented  the cups of tea and carefully curtsying at the same time. I smiled to myself and made a promise that I must get to know her  if it was the last thing this project offered me. The following Sunday, fate was on my side, I left the  local church to run some errands and who did I bump into.
She had the cutest eyes and softest lips and looked so innocent, which was very much appealing. I stammered to say hello while she addressed me by my surname. Mr Uzo,  what a pleasant surprise. I wasn't aware you worshiped at our local church?  Sheepishly all I could mutter was, I visit occasionally. I ravished my brain to think of a more appropriate answer but all I could  try to mutter again was nothing. She proceeded to ask me questions about the service and if I had enjoyed it in which I sorta quivered. All I did mentally was to kick myself in the butt. No woman, ever, has had such a strong spell on me. I had definitely lost the plot here, my naughty boyish manner had certainly let me down causing me to be tongue tied and appear absolutely foolish. I could only nod, smile and appear to be engaged while I forcefully   racked  my brain for a meaningful contribution to the conversation which by now  looked like  I lacked interest. She had to, I could tell because she was trying to manoeuvre her way around,  I had to excuse her as I was blocking the way. I summoned the courage to say goodbye and hoped to see her soon.

My hope didn't let me down, I saw  her precisely two days later at a gathering. After drinking some local appetizer which undoubtedly loosed my tongue, I found words flowed easily. We had spotted each other across the room and I came forth to say hello and apologised for looking lost the last time we met. I had quickly used the opportunity to invite her for a meal or so and we could talk. She hesitated,  I could see the frown appearing on her lovely smooth forehead and it was only the thought of behaving inappropriately   that held  my hands  firmly in my pockets. I looked lovingly and wished I could soften the frown.  I could tell she was mentally checking if she was  available and if at all she wanted to meet with me. I tried my charm which always worked with most ladies including my mother. I had turn my bug looking eyes into that of a cute puppy that couldn't be resisted. I had found this worked amongst the ladies in my family as well as abroad. The lists of girl friends I had were simply mesmerised by it. It was my go to charm and I was desperately hoping it could work with her. What was only minutes possibly seconds felt like years when she finally answered,  she would let me know. I was gutted and kicking myself in the butt for not trying harder. It wasn't so long when we all went our separate ways and I had felt disappointed  but not  defeated.

Back in the project accommodation, myself and couple of colleagues could only engage in conversations about the local girls and their charms, and all I could think of  was my lovely sweet, sweet, sweet Ajoke as I later found out she was called. I had received a note from one of the lads and in it was neatly written  when and where she was available. My cup couldn't get any better, it completely ran over with all sorts,  from joy, to excitement to utter thrill.

Coming to Ibadan had change my life for the best, I couldn't imagine life without her. Ever since we had met up, we were inseparable, we shared memories and dreams about the future. I had told her about my childhood in the local village. I enjoyed living in the city but my village is still the best. We both agreed  there was nothing like living and running around in the village.  Ajoke cooked the most delicious food, I automatically  stopped eating at our accommodation. She fed me well and fed me big, my heart was always merry.  I liked her innocence, she was intelligent yet she was vulnerable, I liked how she squirms when she sees crawly and slimy animals. I wouldn't forget the day she screamed when I showed her the mark  where that horrible snake had bite me in my teens. I liked how she eventually calmed down and stroke  the deep scar. She was inquisitive,  she would ask me loads of questions about the plans for Nigeria, and what the British Colonel planned to do. She wanted to know more, she once said she would like to study abroad like myself so she could sound white. I had corrected her, telling her it was not something she should strive for. Speaking our indigenous language is part of our identity and if you pronounced words differently its shows you still had your identity in your origin. I told her she spoke  well  and that was good enough without going abroad. It is  far more important that we maintain our true origin. I had decided not to go very deep into the racial and injustice I  faced with my African brothers and sisters studying abroad. I slowly lured her  into telling me stories about her children and she loved telling it. Each day, was an exciting day, we would plan to meet, hug each other and leave late for our respective homes. I had three months left till the project was completed.

I have to stop here if not it will be too long......

Thank you for reading and stay tuned more like keep refreshing the page for the rest of the story.

P.S. Job 8 21:22. He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with joyful shouting.
Those who hate you will be clothed with shame, and the tents of the wicked shall be no more.

Amen somebody....

No matter what the circumstances are,  you have to believe it will change. Xxx

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