Monday, 19 September 2011

OUR LIFE, OUR STORY, OUR JOURNEY 2...............

Hi People of the Earth, aka blogsville family,

Waving with love.....

I am determined to complete the story despite(my tired sleepy self, but a Deal is a deal....).

So in 1997, I got the letter of redundancy and the first thought that popped in my head was this is not ordinary, but then again most people were being made redundant around the Organisation at the time. The other thought that came to mind was maybe its time to end this life. I hate to admit it, but I was tempted to visit the Lagos Island river many times to do a jump. But, the beautiful faces of my girls held me back.

As I decided to let God take control, I proceeded with other options available i.e. travelling abroad and making my dreams come true for my girls. Although, at this time, my Husband was not around, I did my best to relocate the children to a much closer City, and we also moved house. Thank God for that.

I used my savings to fund my children education into Secondary School and still pursing my abroad dream, I realized I could not do it by myself anymore. I needed God support, I needed him to show me the way. It was until then, my husband that had abandoned us came back into our lives. Yes, he was trying to patch things together... I couldn't figure out which was bad that he had four children with the other Lady or it was the worst decision I made in my life  to marry such a Man..

Nevertheless, he was the one God used to support me with my travelling documents which I had to pray fervently to God for directions.
Upon getting to abroad to stay with an old friend, I made sure my children had enough financial support and help. I arrived to stay with a friend of mine who once lived with me in Nigeria, but the pleasantries that I expected were only from my side. I thought I had met wicked when I was in Nigeria then,I just got married and I remember a tenant that I took as a friend. It turned out she was not of God, and Yes, she attacked me spiritually for a cause I am yet to find explanation for. To think of it,   was it the fact I caught my husband in her room or was it because I didn't allow her to carry my child. All I know is, she attacked me, sent thieves around my house in the middle of the Night with my girls there, and then proceeded to attack spiritually too. But I thank for his mercies and protection.

So, it was as if this my friend abroad had it in for me big time, always complaining, mourning, insulting etc. She did welcome me for the first day, but few days later she showed me her true self or should I say her wicked and heartless self. I tried getting a job and for first few months I stayed with her I got the worst insults, shame, abuse even in front of her kids. This was someone that knew my situation and knew what I had been through and how I was still trying to make something out of myself. And No, I didn't sit around all day doing nothing, how can I?? I worked in the Bank for almost 20 years serving the customers, managers, investors etc. I worked all my life, I cannot be lazy and  I do not know how to be Lazy. Eventhough, my Husband knew this and laughed at me and told me how much I was fooling myself going abroad to work. But, when I call home to speak with my children, they encourage me, they tell me "Mummy, it was not suppose to be easy, if it was easy then we will all have the same story but its meant to be tough and challenging.  However, Mum you know you  will get through this. You have in the past, and you will in the future. Remember, the Lord is your strength and rely on him". Just hearing their voices and the words alone charged me up to try and keep trying.

I would say, Yes, I did the odd jobs, jobs I would shun and not look at. The odd jobs that are popular for people abroad to sometimes do... cleaning, carework, security guards etc. I thank God, I was able to save enough to go back home.

On getting home, I met my children and I was glad to see them, but I was told one of them was kidnapped, my heart flew straight out of my mouth. To say I was perplexed was an understatement, just that moment in time, I said to myself I will never leave my Children ever again. I cannot trust anyone with my girls no way.. I am grateful to God that none were raped or used for something even beyond my imagination. To be funny, I felt one of my breast go weak as if I knew something was not right at home, this was of course while I was abroad. I am glad God answered my prayers and he made it possible.

I planned with my cousin to get an apartment together abroad and Yes we did. But, did he not show his true colours he did. He would switch of the gas, the TV, the fridge, everything.. At some point, he said I should take my girls back to their father that life would be less unbearable here. In addition, himself and couple of others said it was impossible for them to go to School, University or Graduate. Including my Husband their father said it. I stood strong knowing God was my strength and my word, and we persevered and its paid off.

There are many challenges, hurdles and some serious financial struggles but we got through in the end. Today, as I speak I am a Proud Mother of two beautiful Graduates. I am grateful that against all odds, I got to see them succeed  with my very own eyes. How awesome is that...

 Yes, my marriage did not work like I wanted it too, I tried my hardest but I am grateful I got two rare gems out of it. How GREAT is Our God.

I will encourage you today to hold on, don't ever stop believing God for what you want and for his will upon your life. I believe this testimony is for someone today to take courage and run the race. Your joy is coming...

NOTE:This is a true life story of my Mother written through me to encourage us and myself that God is a Miracle worker.

I have also inserted some awesome pics of myself and  awesome pic of my....... hmm guess who???...







Note: You are not allowed to copy any of these pictures without the authors/blog owner permission. It is illegal and certainly consider a theft.. God is watching you.. Watch..

God is love, love yourself and love on others.....

Saturday, 10 September 2011

OUR LIFE, OUR STORY, OUR JOURNEY...............

Hello Blogsville (waving with enthusiasm and love),

I have missed blogging and sorry for the late one... As usual busy with stuff e.g. work.  So I am going to take you on a journey as usual and let you into my world this time. So lets GO..

This is my story, my very own testimony and my very own life. As a child growing up was not the best and I struggled alot, after moving from one relative to another, I knew within me this was not the life I want for my children nor will I give them anything less. Although, my mum tried to be there which she did, there was only so much she could do. My Dad left my mum when I was an infant so yes it was tough for a non-educated woman such as my mother to bring me up. However, she was determined that I would get access to education, hence she took me to my Dad relative thinking that was the best option. It was tough like I said earlier but I went through it knowing it would end someday.

Growing up, I was determined to make it and the hardwork paid off when  I joined one of the successful Banks in Nigeria "First Bank" in the early 80's and I made sure I did my best in my position. In my early twenties, I saved enough money and sent myself to the UK to study extra vocational  courses. It was actually a great experience and even though settling in the UK was a great option then, I had a great career back home with my mum constantly on my mind and I chose to go back. At the time, Nigeria was booming so there you go. I have always being astrong lady so when it came to settling down i.e. marriage I wanted to be sure of what I wanted.

I met my husband through my best friend fiance in 1985 and we became friends, got close and we went into a relationship. It was an average relationship which some women  generally assume the role of a wife which I did perfectly.. Even though, he didn't have a job at the time when we started out, I stuck by him and believed in him and contributed toward his living, feeding and clothing. At this point, I was in my early 30's with pressure of marriage constanly looming, and as a Nigeiran Lady, you would understand. I had an ultimatum, I had to be pregnant first before we could get married, and I must say getting preganant was not easy. I had my own share of fair troubles and I remeber saying to God if you bless with children I will make sure I do right by them always and be there for them. Yes, he did it, I got pregnant and we got married, a day after the marriage ceremony I had our first born. It was painful and long experience and as most mothers can relate but the joy of holding my baby cannot be comprehended. The pain immediately disappeared, our baby was beautiful and I was grateful to God everything went well and even better, including me giving birth safely.

I had been looking forward to a wonderful married life with my new husband and our baby girl and I was happy, excited and felt truly rewarded for the blessings God blessed me with. But it was not so, my expectations were immediately shattered  when I started having dreams that he left me and the children.  I would wake up in the middle of the night and tell him this. He would reassure me and tell me he would do no such thing. I was pregnant just after our baby girl was few months old and I was determined to keep this one as my husband suggested I should get rid of the baby. I was not going to allow him to dictate anything, after all I am the bread winner. Besides that point, I knew how much I badly wanted children. At around 16 months after our first baby girl, I had another wonderful baby girl and she was opposite of her elder sister (she was really quiet). And Yes, I actually wanted a boy and was praying for one, but I wouldn't change them for anything.  This time around, I hardly saw him around the house, infact he hardly came home. It was me, the children and my mother at home. At first, I didn't complain, whenever he came home, he would wake me up to make him food and all... I still wouldnt say anything, not that he bothered to ask about me and the children. He got a job in one of the successful companies in Nigeria and I was the one that fasted whilst expecting our second baby girl. Nevertheless, I did my role and carried out doing everyhting right. There were time he was there and times he was not.

But the deal breaker started when I started receiving letters at my work place from his girlfriend apparently he is following her and I should tell him to BACK OFF. To say I was disgusted was an understatement, this was someone that told me he lost his mother at a young age and has since learnt the hard way. Hence, he will be a steady husband and be a father to our children. But his actions were not matching up to his charming words, and YES I confronted him and what does he do, slap, kick and hit me infront of the children. Ok, so I dont complain about that to people  because domestic voilecne was major in our culture. Regardless, I carried on, but the stress, pain and everything started to take toll.

My youngest was only four when I heard about Mayflower. I had no choice as maids weren't constant, no family member available to care for the children and their well being. I had to enroll them in a Boarding School, and yes it was painful but I had to do it. It was a nice day, when I took both girls with my driver to the school and I was praying for them to pass and get in. I remember my youngest met Late Dr.Tai Solarin and she had no clue who he was. She ran to me and told me she met this old man and I was thinking in my head you met Dr. Tai Solarin and she thought it was nothing special, but she told me he was nice to her and am sure she can still recall their place of encounter.  Although, my children were in boarding house or boarding school, the stress did not stop there, I was carrying our third child so I thought.

 It was until after 10 months I knew this was not ordinary, and we went around looking for help. Doctors said they could not see the child through scan, it was a long turmoil where he was nowhere to be found. I was all alone apart from relatives that stood by me and kept on going around to ask for solutions regarding the problem. It was long hard months of about four years or less before the baby could be seen and the operation was sorted out. I almost lost my life, in fact I did but God directed the Doctor and he knew what to do. During the third pregnancy, I think our second child was about five plus, I knew I had to travel abroad and had to take my babies with me. Although the cause of the delayed pregnancy was told to be a spiritual attack I am thankful to GOD that he sorted me out and provided the means to do so. At this point, I had not seen my children for two long summers during the Holidays.When I eventually saw them, they didn't want to come near me and were even laughing at me, I looked ridiculous, they must have thought this was not their mother and I cannot blame them. I could not recognize myself too.

 I had been so sick, stressed, in pain and during this time, I did not see HIM not even one hospital visit.When he  eventually saw me,  his words  were "What kind of woman are you"? they have tried everything and you are still here, ALIVE". I am grateful that I am, because I knew one thing I told God, no other woman will raise my children and take advantage of them. I refused to allow anything to happen to my children and God kept to his promise to keep me alive and I just kept holding on to his words.
I was healed and got better and just when I thought the hurdles had reduced, our first born fell seriously sick with abscess  and it was me running again like headless chicken going around and asking for directions from GOD to sort things out. Our second child fell sick with Malaria, it was me again doing all the work, just going around sorting things out. It was just so much and it was me and God fighting this battle. For years we did not see him, and when we did  see him, he would turn up randomly in the middle of the night to say he wants to see the children. I remember one night he showed up and he demanded to see the children, he came in and I told my girls not to say a word. Well, children can sometimes spoil your plan, just when I was telling him they weren't here and they were in school, my youngest decided to scream. He obviously knew I was lying at this point, he saw them and the youngest said "Dad we don't see you much and you don't pay us any visit and you don't pay our school fees". He took a playing stick and started hitting her telling her never to say such. I looked at him and I thought the cheek for you to do that and not feel ashamed. We both clearly knew she was telling the truth. My children were aware about  everything going with him because they ask questions and am sorry I won't lie to them.

All these and many more things were happening and he was not there, nor were his family. At time, I would sit back and think after all have done for you, this life is really really unpredictable.

It was until 1997, I knew Yes I was done for, I was made redundant at work and I could not comprehend how I will survive or do anything.

To be continued......

The rest of the story will be revealed in the next post... so stay tuned lol(that is so NTA, you would know this TV channel if you lived in Naijer).

Thank you for reading.

God is love, love yourself and others too.