Wednesday, 25 December 2013

ITS CHRISTMAS.. WHOOP WHOOP.

Hello My Blogsvilefam,

I hope we are well.

Its Christmas..YAY.
WOW 2013 Christmas is here o. Can you believe it?

I can't. It came so fast.
I am grateful for life and the grace to celebrate in good health with my family and love ones.
I pray all our dreams and wishes will still come through.
JESUS is the reason for the season but sometimes it gets lost in the midst of everything, infact it mostly lost.
I am still finding my through it all.

From me to your love ones.


P.S.If you have nothing to be grateful for, be grateful that at least you can eat well and not have to be fed by a syringe or drip.. Be grateful and have a thankful heart.

Jesus is the reason for the season.

Friday, 13 December 2013

**Feeling Good**

Hello People,

I am so blog inspired and motivated.

I will be talking motivational today. Oh yeah. *winks*
Please you are welcome to share with your friends.

Feeling good: what is this all about and why  is it important?
Well honey, only you can answer the question correctly but pls hear what I have to say.

The idea of feeling good for me basically means choosing to stay positive, being positive and allowing my inner beauty i.e. the burst of energy that  resides inside to  radiate outside  triumphing over any negativity around me. In a nutshell, being confident and loving it.

I am totally  a "feel good" kind of person in that I don't care at all for other people's opinion emphasis placed on the bad ones. I am a happy go lucky child and one thing am grateful for is that I can be oblivious to certain things. I don't know why but sometimes my mind just does not acknowledge the meanest, saddest or insulting things some people chose to say or do. I sometimes notice much later that the person just said something rude but in that point in time I don't hear or see it.  I am glad am that way in fact I pray to continue to stay that way because I sure do not want anyone from anywhere to feel they can open their mouth and rain in my parade. Constructive criticism yes am open to and other good remarks but constant negativity and all sorts No, I am not open to it.

Why? what point is it that I abhor or indulge in such talks especially when the rationale is absolutely dumb. For instance, I am not a shy person noo and am quite happy to dance my socks away on the dance floor although to some people it looks odd or not posh or whatever etc. The truth is you can't cringe for me because at that point in time am having the ultimate fun ever!!!.
I recall  a situation at a wedding on the dance floor, doing my famous moves lol, my friend tried to tell me to tone it down, hahaha bless her she was embarrassed for me. I turned to her and just completely carried on dancing.

Also with my natural hair, I had alot of I can't believe you cut your hair, people that don't talk to me on a normal day sat me down etc  oo this ooo that. I laughed it off, I didn't care and  I rocked it with confidence. In fact one of my besties always dizzes naturals lol, that we look like village girls etc. I told her to wait till she sees me.  I look funky o, village has nothing on me. She was wowed plus I rocked it with so much love.

The  point of the illustration goes to show that I can't be tamed and I don't want to be tamed. There will come a time in my life maybe I will feel somehow but until then allow me o.

I also think part of feeling good is being happy, like appreciating life, appreciating you  and be full of it. In my old workplace, they loved my enthusiasm to constantly want to do things. It is part of feel good. I like using my initiative to help out without expecting back although it is only courtesy to be grateful. I think its a prayer point worth asking God, "help me to do things and be kind without thinking or expecting anything back".

In a nutshell, I am a feel good person it shows in all part of me. I am always upbeat, optimistic and whether you know me personally or you don't you will always feel it somehow. I don't like to hold myself back mentally because I have only one life to live besides  once I get past a certain age I can't wish it  back.

2014 by his grace will be one of the best UPBEAT year. I have alot of desires to accomplish but importantly I want to be inspired and inspire others.We will inspire each other.

Live, Love and ROCK.

Jesus best boo. Nobody shouldn't tell me Jesus didn't have fun say what? Jesus traveled saw and met different people so I mean CAMon.. lol.

P.S. Fun does not mean self damage or doing things that are  harmful to both yourself and others. xxx

                                        Bad boy Marble cake. lol. 1st attempt. x


Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Lovingly loving NATURAL. *smiles*

Hello People,

I trust we are doing "schemazing" Nicole on x factor. lol. x

I have been on this natural hair journey for close to seven months now I believe. Big chopped in July click here.
I can't emphasis or express how I am my loving natural hair and how it compliments my features.
I didn't think I would love it this much but I LOVE MY HAIR. I am in love with it.
I just love the journey and the relationship am having with it.
Its supercool.

I am excited to share my hair regime and pictures so far: 
My regime is simple I use less products on my hair.
I usually deep condition weekly.
 Loads of water and cold water to seal the moisture.(My hair loves cold water).
I find my hair does not like home made remedies like apple vinegar and bicarbonate soda (my Sis and Mum use them). I experience more hair sheds/breakage when I use them.
I like the avocado deep conditioner which I think my hair needs yet again I experience more hair sheds too.I try to minimise  usage to 2-3 weeks.
My hair does however used to like egg mayonnaise even when it was relaxed  but I am not sure about now? Egg mayonnaise is still my go to deep conditioner. My relaxed and shorter natural hair thrived in it.
I do plan to try something I did before which is only based on water. I will try it again couple of times and hopefully get to share the experience.
My hair loves Shea butter, castor oil, almond oil, coconut oil etc. 
I got some raw Shea butter from Niaj, nothing beats the raw ones which I mix with other oils. 

P.S. I don't mind hair sheds but not excessively though.

If you didn't know by now lol, taking pictures and posing for the camera is one of my favourite things. I just love it.





                                           
                              I thought I should throw this in. I tried with my gele gidi gon. lol. x

Thanks for reading.

God bless you and your love ones. x

Sunday, 8 December 2013

'Closure' What about it?

Hello Boo,

I trust we are all well and shining bright like  a diamond. I pray God's  protection will continually be upon us and our family members..xxx

This topic is actually an interesting one. Ok, I read a post on Bella Niaja lol o, see my life anyway please click here.The post is not about the BN topic itself per say, its more of ideas on how people view relationships, break ups etc.
I know and I respect we all have varied opinions, advice and solutions to dealing with break ups and situations. I know some of us offer what is best for us but I tend to choose solutions that has the potential to solve a situation in some way  and provide healing of some sort.

I am not sure if you are familiar with the term 'closure' I think some of us might be. It generally means an act of closing something according to Google web. My interpretation, it means the purpose of finding answers that will provide an insight or possible solution to a problem. In the context of a  break -up of any kind, some people desire closure to help them with unanswered answers or putting  puzzles together to provide clarity or help them move on etc. But I often wonder if truly some of us need this so called "closure" as some people might suggest. I can't help but think that  "closure" will do nothing but even create more puzzles than before depending on the situation, frame of mind and individual.
If an individual is seeking closure it means the relationship was never real from the start because if it was real then it is only imperative, normal, noble and just for both parties or the other  to explain why the relationship is coming to an end. Remember a relationship might be real to you but not to the other person or better still be real to both parties but convicted in one more than the other or attached to one more than the other. For example, I could be dating a dude but have my guards up and he could however think am all for it which I am but totally one leg in and one leg out. You get my drift.

I think generally it is human nature to be in the know, seek answers, justify reasons and understand why this happened and why it is not happening etc. The harsh truth  is some of us will never be in the  know and the not knowing can actually be a good thing depending on the severity of the situation and how you manipulate the situation.
I think asking for a closure in dealing with a break up when the other person has clearly moved on or show the signs that they want to move on is simply a bad idea. When some people decide to move on, they totally block out the past and intimate details and completely switch off (unfortunately that is the harsh truth). Now, asking such person to provide closure would mean they should go back to the past and dig out what they have buried which quite frankly some people will not do as they don't see the point or want to go through the emotions.
On the other hand, the closure one is seeking might be an opportunity to start another episode of unnecessary arguments and disagreements that does nothing but show more holes and more tragedy especially when you find out the true intentions of the person was unfair and conniving? It might just make it even worse in my opinion.

How about,  if the other party has nothing to disclose I mean nothing significant to bring to the closure. For example the post on Bella Niaja which is about a lady who fell for a man with a shady attitude. The "shady" dude had a motive and whatever it was he exhibited some of it, it is now up to the woman to decide whether or not she will use it as a cue or simply live in cuckoo land and disregard major evidence. In the case of a closure as suggested by a commentator what should the "shady" guy say? What will be his reason or reasons? To top it off he is now married. Will the closure actually help her or make a difference?

Besides, I believe if  a break up occurs in a loveless, selfish and crap relationship then closure is pointless. Amazing opportunity to simply thank God that your life will take better form.  In a loving, sweet and genuine relationships (though I wonder why they should be break-ups), then  I guess a closure would make more sense but wait was it ever truly genuine from both parties or did it just appear that way? Also the questions need to be asked?  Why the closure and what will it do? The truth is, people that hold back info/cover things up in the relationship will never ever ever be open in a closure. Say what? he/she was never 100% authentic in the relationship so now that it has ended, you are concerning yourself with closure?.  Maybe they will be real to themselves but it takes maturity, a level of self journey, insight and a  level of confidence to be real to yourself and to others.
In any case, whatever we chose to do should be traced back to our motive, because the purpose of knowing your motives will help determine whether this a closure is  a better option or not.

I was in a relationship that I thought was great, loving etc etc until he dropped the bombshell and for a long time a part of me wanted to see him and ask him loads of questions as to why this happened or why it didn't happen etc. The questions and puzzles swam  around in my head but  the one question remained  will it change anything? Will it change the fact that you two are no longer together, will it change the fact that you were highly upset and it affected your grades etc, what will it change and what will it do for you per say? That when I realised that I didn't quite get it yet and that was why I needed to go on this journey. To understand that stuff happen and stuff will happen but you do what you do, you learn from it, forgive yourself and move on from that situation with a positive outlook and approach.
What is much better? a closure that does nothing but troubles you in comparison to simply accepting it was to be because no mattter how you try with closure it is still a learning process, you are to learn from it and become stronger.
Maybe in the case of a cheating spouse, I get having a closure but am not sure if it is the other spouse that should ask for it or the person should simply confess and from there,  open and honest communication should take place.

My point is, if you  desire a closure be sure you have clear motives behind it and you understand them and think clearly whether or not it will actually make a difference?
I don't care about closures or encourage them. I encourage communication and clarity  if it permits  but  closure I don't know.
Depending on the situation i.e. if it was a long term relationship and circumstances of the relationship then maybe closure can be demanding but be aware it might even leave a more bitter taste in your mouth.

I am done now. lol.
As always your opinions, thoughts, ideas etc are most welcome.

Thank you for reading. Be blessed.

                               Dust yourself and try again. Aliyah x



Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Abortion-Get Rid Off. An inspired post

Hi Everyone,

I trust we are all well and prepping for Christmas etc. I pray all our dreams that are yet to come true will do so. I also pray we will have a pain free, catastrophe free, accidents free, bombing free Christmas season. Amen.

This post was inspired by a comment I read on Bella Niaja click here for the post.Click here for the comments and I also commented.
I planned to upload a different topic but I had to do this.

To be honest, the topic on  abortion is a strange one, maybe complex and touchy subject for some. I have watched various documentaries on it and seen various advocates for and against it. In a nutshell, I have never really had a view on it other than I won't advocate it and I certainly will not encourage it. I have always thought that the only person that could make the decision most times is the woman. Her decision is based on her principles and core values.

However, I do not accept, or think it is right aside for medical reasons that can put both mother and child into jeopardy even with that (I will encourage to rely on faith).  It hurt when I read the comment on Bella Naija about a woman that had an abortion because her hubby encouraged her to and now she is struggling to birth and has had  several miscarriages.
Personally, I might be naive o, I do not accept a man/bf/husband etc that has impregnated another woman to tell her to "GET RID OFF" I don't care what the  excuses, motives, situations, ideologies whatever it is but abortion should be the last result aside from medical complications. I think anyone that suggests that is rude, selfish, wicked and EVIL. Why do you say such thing?

My reasons,  if they had aborted the person in question due to his/her parental circumstances will they be here? Nope. They wont. so why then would you deny someone else the opportunity?
To make matters worse, I hate it when it is married men that are telling their wives to abort the babies, I don't care if you are wretched and living from mouth to mouth, if you don't want to have any more babies (do family planning) or cut your loins which will not be considered. I even hate it more when married men tell their wives that are preggo for the first time to get rid off  of the child? Why? Why?
Children are blessings in the very least if your partner says that to you and lists all the possible reasons as not to keep the baby, then they have failed you YES, they have failed in their role as a man to protect, assure, support, encourage and be bold. They have failed to understand and comprehend the bigger vision. They have failed to consider the vows appropriately, they have failed to consider the blessings that is yet to come through this child above all they have failed to comprehend the power of their own seed that has allowed to possibly father a child where others have tried to no avail even with medical and all.

For such men, I can only pity them and their myopic mind.I hate to see women put themselves through such agony and say they are doing it for love...? What? Love? where is the love in that? The love for the guy or the love for  your own selfish reasons? or love for the unborn child? I stress that if love was ever involved in the relationship from the beginning then being pregnant under any conditions just raises/up the game to even stretch yourself  and become less selfish and more responsible with the ability to  love endlessly without waiting for the other. Yes, a child born into love will know from the very first day it ran and joined the ovaries lol.
I know there are deeper issues like rape, unwanted situations e.g. cheating etc that might have allowed such situation  but again any decision to which especially rape and medical reasons I will totally respect the need for the person to do as they wish. In fact I totally respect any decision be none medical I as I have stated above. I just do not like it when the lady carrying the child is coerced into abortion against her will but I guess there are reasons behind it all.

All I am saying is, as a woman with a choice, be careful about the risks you are taking with getting rid off the pregnancy as advised by your spouse or family members/friends. Think carefully, for every action there is a consequence. I also know some people who have had an abortion in the past are still struggling years on to bear a child of their own plus heard a lot of stories too. They have been advised wrongly and are regretting their actions.

So please, if anything consider the various options available to you.

P.S. Did I tell you that Dad told Mum to get rid off me? His excuse he didn't have money.. what??
I am glad Mum didn't cos boy I wont be here will I? and above everything she will still be disappointed because it wasn't like  he was ready to love her and be there?

If people around you are doing it. THINK TWICE.
My best advice as ever, if you are not ready for the consequences don't involve SEX. Once you start having then be open minded to all sorts.

I guess this post was more of a reprimanding one lol. Its all love. x

Thanks for reading and visiting.
I will upload the other post soon. x