Tuesday, 26 February 2013

This Kind of LOVE.......

Thank you for visiting. Year of reaching Targets 2013...

Hello my beautiful blessed readers,

Its been a while since I brought you a very inspiring love story. So pls read, relax with a cup of tea, coffee or whatever you fancy.

I never knew been married would bring me this much joy and content, well I knew I would be happy but this happiness is simply indescribable.I can honestly say marriage is a gift and people that find themselves in a beautiful marriage are undoubtedly blessed. I met my then sweetheart about 6 years ago, his name Chijioke. You see we started out as friends intoxicated with one another's  company. Our friendship quickly blossomed into something quite extraordinary well to me at least. I felt I was truly living a fantasy,  "almost every girl dream". You know the meeting prince charming part and staying enchanted sort of a thing. It was magical.

We were incredibly intimate and oh by that I meant we were really close (soul to soul, bearing all the secrets). I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and feel free, I loved the " feeling" of feeling free and I believe he was also comfortable too. We had loads of fun too, we would talk about our childhood, our families and future goals. He  was mesmerised by me, he couldn't figure me out, he was sure I was certainly different in  a peculiar way. He couldn't put it in  exact words but he admitted I was rare and special (aren't we all in our own ways).  I appeared to be someone that was quite wise, outspoken, sure of herself  and mature minded for her young age. It felt as though I had figured everything out. He did used to feel he was way below my league, but I would simply brush it off and remind him he was daft to think such. I admired him, I admired his love for God, it is although not rare to see men in the house of God but he was different. He was real, he had doubts and also alot of questions but he was real and he had a strong zeal for God and his words. I recall the amazing times we would spend  chatting away about all sorts, and how we both wanted to change the world in our own little way. I was mesmerised by how "Gentlemanly" he was to me. I loved the  way he held my hands softly when we walked, the way he would  walk on my right or left depending to "supposedly" protect me, I loved the way he would whisper something silly in my ear which made me giggle most times.  The way he looked lovingly into my eyes was just so breathtaking. I  enjoyed the way he hugged me, it was very gentle and passionate. My goodness, the thoughts of  it all  sends shivers down my spine, he was my candy man in every way.

I knew falling in love was somewhat cool but this was "cooler" than cool, because  it was  genuine, awesome,  nurtured and inspired. Our time together, I cherished. I knew he had issues,I knew he had all sorts of issues from low self esteem, insecurities, indecisiveness etc but he was good to me. He treated me specially with the little he had, he was my besty. I usually lit up when I saw him coming or when he calls me. However,  things changed, as they say  "life is full of ups and downs". Chijioke, needed to grow, we were way too similar in age and he knew he wasn't ready for what I truly wanted us to end up as which of was course marriage. I never thought I would see the day we both would say a "sour" goodbye to each other, it wasn't supposed to be. Yes, we were both from different tribes but we reside "abroad" besides the world is alot more accepting and surely that could be allowed? He was a mummy's boy  but I talked myself into  believing  he would at least  fight for me, for us and for our future  that we fondly talked  about but he didn't and that hurt.  I cried, I wailed, I cried some more, my heart felt ripped, I was an emotional wreck.  I walked with tears following freely down my face, I kissed my tears to sleep most times and went to sleep empty but there came a point.  This could no longer go on, I had to accept this was a part of my life  and this beautiful dream was over. It wasn't a perfect relationship, we did quarrel but it was beautiful, it was just simply beautiful. Moving  on wasn't easy but I did, letting go of the pain wasn't easy  either but I got through, however the hardest part was trying not to remember he was real. I was so certain my future was with him and I wanted it to be, but it I had to talk myself into believing it wasn't suppose to be. Yet, I couldn't forget him, us or our memories, I knew I was deluded, simply naive and deluded to think or believe he would ever come back.

I guess faith really is amazing " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" ( Hebrews 11 vs 1). My grandma's favourite passage, she loved it and lived by it. I didn't know what the future held, I would have thought getting into relationships with other men could potentially help but it didn't. It didn't matter who the guy was, my heart and soul was somewhere else.  I kept telling myself he had to come back but at the same time I had my doubts and reservations, as they say, "life goes on".
I lived, I liked, I fancied, I laughed, I dined, I shrugged etc but I couldn't love the way I did. When you make a decision to love someone, you cant unlove them or  can you?   For me I couldn't undo the decision, it would have been easier to forget if  he was horrible to me or he was rubbish in most areas or he  was simply rude, nasty or evil but he wasn't. He can be cheeky, indecisive and very assuming but I knew he had his barriers and insecurities.  Forgiveness came easily because loving him was easy and I couldn't keep records of his wrongs, he mostly apologises and tries to be better. He wasn't like his peers, he was incredibly gentle,  approachable, helpful, supportive,  kind, respectful, honest, eloquent in writing and in speech and I love those attributes.  I really do and that wasn't all,  he also told the most unfunny jokes in the world and does the stupidest accents/mimics  ever but I LOVED it. I enjoyed the silly faces and oh  the remarks but yet it was all in my memories and I smile each time I recall them.

 I started my own business, I simply poured my spirit into it and on a day like every other day I worked hard. However, today I received a letter. It appeared in an exquisite  brown envelope with  purple rims,  it looked vintage and quite a taste. I couldn't imagine what the envelope would contain, but  I had a feeling it was more than a letter. I tried not to anticipate anything, I calmly laid it  under my things to do for the next few days, I was not going to open just yet. It had to be something I would read in a quite and relaxed atmosphere.  I was  busy  and I didn't want to treat it in a hasty manner.

In the evening, when the building was empty, I sat with my expensive china tea Mum bought  me. She is such a lover of expensive things. I lit a candle for some  reason, I guess I  felt the urge to read it in such a vintage style. I opened it carefully avoiding ripping the beautiful rims. I suppose one could assume, somebody has truly done something  out of the blue or slightly romantic. My heart skipped at the first sight of my image, I  chuckled as I took the the first look at my picture, it was a picture of me in  a vintage photograph. I was wearing a beautiful dress with a yellow hat on. I had a swift memory of the day I wore the dress to see my sweetheart, a beautiful sunny day and I was having the best times.

I turned the picture over  and on  it was written................

I will continue next time folks. I refused to write a long post this time around. Lol.

 Thanks for reading.

God is love....

Friday, 22 February 2013

One of her Random/Analytical TALK.....

Year of reaching Targets 2013!!

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for the lovely comments on my previous posts. *loves*.

As some of us may know am a thinker and an observer too and I come up with random analytical talk. Today, I have three in store for you. xxx

First:
Enemies of Progress: Simply people that are not happy that you are making an effort in life.   They either beef you, detest you, wish you wrong and evil things etc.

There are "enemies of progress" in every sphere of life.....

How do you combat them or deal with them?

Just keep doing what is right even when they think they have succeeded cos you fell once or twice or more, Don't give UP or GIVE IN.

Remember: failures or setbacks are part of the journey and testimony. So keep doing it right each time with a renewed positive mind and optimism.
You have the right to make it no matter WHAT.

Watch how your enemies of progress will praise with u and rejoice.. betterstill scoff in their own bitterness and jealousy. It does not matter.

As long as you are determined to make it and with God NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. X

Second:
No vision is permanently stopped by finances but by lack of FAITH, COURAGE and unwillingness to step out and take RISKS. UCB

REMEMBER: GOD will supply all your riches according to HIS riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Word!!!!. Phil 4: 19

Seriously, step on it, challenges will surely strengthen you and its part of your testimony. Nothing comes easy in life, if it does "it will not last long". You have to GET ON WITH IT..CA'MON...(come on)....lol. xxx

God is real and  his mercies endures forever.

Third:
CONTENTMENT: Something that is very much lacked/rare in our society today. Living in a materialistic world also doesn't help matters. Some of us feel we are entitled to things we can't afford and we will go to the extent of 'biting more than we can chew'. Its important we learn and practice 'self discipline'.

God doesn't bless 'recklessness'. UCB.

Learn the act of contentment and Stop following the CROWD. Live by your means and be sure to keep working hard to reach your goals.

In the meantime, be CONTENT AND STAY CONTENTED.  It does not meant COMFORTABLE. It just means "don't bite more than you can chew".

Have a great weekend and stay HAPPY. Dont let the gloominess of the world dampen you,  instead it should encourage you to be a solution bearer, not a complainer bearer (ah, just coined it, lol). xxx

God is love. 

Enjoy Beans Pudding (I coined it) aka Ewa Agoyin.. lol. x More pics soon
Don't watch the oil... *coversface*. The recipe calls for it. x

Feeling Inspired Foodie

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Quick Post and Small Motivational TALK.

Happy 2013

Year of reaching Targets.

I pray we all have something to be happy about even though things are tough. I pray we smile through the shaky grounds, through the mucky winds, through the cloudy weather, through the horrible feeling/experience and through life itself.  Life is for living and living is in Christ. X

Quick update.
I have been drinking more water, yes, morning and evening, waking up and about to sleep. Water is my best friend. I have lost couple of inches somewhere around my waist, my arm etc ( To be honest, I do think the rapid weight loss is mainly down to the annual RCCG fast every February). I attend RCCG church but I don't call myself a redeem as I often hear people refer to themselves mainly because I don't do denominations.  I do God, relationships, act of kindness and WWJD but am definitely redeemed in Christ though.
 Dont worry bloggers, you are in my prayers too. lol. xxx And testimonies shall abound therein. Hallelujah Somobory.... I try to keep up with eating my fruits weekly. I try to spice things up by trying something new, I recently tried raspberries  very sourish taste but not bad. I also ate it with double whipped cream and icing.. Kia, talk about yummy goodness.

So, I have been busy baking cakes. YES,  delicious  toffee cakes, I have had couple of orders this week so I researched, baked and sold. My mini business is taking off slowly but surely. I started baking in April 2010 originally, but never really commercialized it, however I sold to a loyal customer who usually came on year on year. I often baked for church, birthdays, children's day, friends/family etc. In a nutshell, am not working right now  and this gives me the opportunity to live out some of my dreams and be proactive about my life and decisions. My current work contract  finished and whilst looking/waiting for another job, I decided I should be proactive and do something I enjoy. I am glad am getting better with more practice, patience, research and passion. I am also offering a COMPETITION that involves  cooking a FREE DINNER for local residents in my area. Yes, am excited!!!. I am really challenging myself little by little.

I am also proud of my sis. She owns her own  make up business which has recently picked up but for  the past  few years business slowed down, WHY: Over the years, she allowed herself to soak in the negative feedback and comments from people about her work. This obviously had an effect on her self esteem and confidence in her abilities  If you knew my sister since birth, you would know she was   always energetic  very ambitious, very mischievous and so brilliant. She was amongst the youngest students at the age of 8 to write a common entrance in Nigeria and pass successfully. This happened in MAYFLOWER and  that is a pretty high standard,  though Mum struggled with the decision being young and all etc,  she went ahead to start secondary school. I remember my sis was so outspoken,  when we were much younger, she would gather all the neighbourhood  children  who had little education (whilst Mum was at work), she would use  the fisherprice board and pen we had  then to teach them ABC, 123 etc. I would wake up with random children in our sitting room shouting after my SIS. She was marvelous in her own way, she wanted to do everything. She learnt tailoring she was prolly 8 or 9 then and sewed this beautiful cloth for her doll. She also learnt how to knit, she knitted a shawl, she can do so much etc. However, things began to change, her confidence began to deplete,  low self esteem sets in and she began to lose herself etc.
Sometimes a change in environment can be good for some people whilst others might suffer major setbacks, in my sister case she did. Moving school from Ogun State to Lagos changed everything for her but am glad she is finding who she is and she is believing in herself again.

I am also happy God used me as an instrument to help her and remind her of who she used to be, the "I don't care girl and with an attitude of I can do anything". At  age 10 or 11, my sis travelled all the way unsupervised   from  Ogun St to Lagos St ( that like 3 hours journey or so, nobody knew she left school and anything could have happened )the story is too long and too funny. Lets just say my MUM died of SHOCK...... lol. I can't laugh. She left her  children in boarding house believing they are well and to see them on their own without any consent or notice. WOW. Obviously, some children do make such journeys but not where am from  at that age in Nigeria, you are suppose to be in school studying.

Back to the main point I want to highlight. People will talk, YES I do too, you and I do but don't allow that to affect you in  a negative way ( Eccless 7 21:22). Pick the constructive criticisms and let go of the negatives ones. Don't beat yourself up for too long when you make a mistake, remember its a mistake for a reason for you  to  learn and have the opportunity to be better hence, acquire ten different ways to approach a situation and still be right. Perfection is not always the goal, fulfillment is key, ensuring that you do the BEST you can in all that you do. If others don't like, its FINE no need to hold grudges or feel sad, its life, we all have preferences but do not allow the venom of others to pull you down or make you feel inadequate.

REMEMBER: God has a plan in store for you "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11.
I have always stood on this scripture since forever (well, when I knew about it), it makes me happy and keeps me content when things shake up and trials come my way. I always remember I have a future and my yesterday is my testimony and my story. I encourage us not to dwell in the mud, pick yourselves up and start challenging yourselves to a better you, to a greater purpose and fulfilling destiny.

Enjoy foodie pics. x I am allowed to eat this much CHEESE. LOL. Been fasting nah. xx
   
 This was lovely. Penne Pasta cooked in juicy Ragu tomatoe sauce and caramelized in Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. It was cooked and baked too. x
Feeling Inspired Foodie

Feeling Inspired Foodie

Sunday, 10 February 2013

Tag, short post and mini gist. lol.

Happy 2013

Year of reaching and accomplishing Targets..

The lovely funny Toinlicious gave me a leibster award. YAY,  and now I have to answer the following questions below.Thanks b.

The rules are:
1. Thank and link back to the giver.
2. Answer the giver’s questions.
3. Nominate five other blogs with fewer than 200 followers.
4. Ask five questions for one’s nominees to answer.
5. Post it on your blog.

Now to answer Toins  questions: (Hopefully it would be a short one ...lool. o).

1) What makes you happy and what are you passionate about?
Happiness is a choice so am not too sure, but I get happy when I sleep hahaha. Alot of things can make me happy, doing good, seeing an improvement in ones life or situations, hearing  testimonies and breakthroughs, finding a cure or a solutions, eating delicious meals, being alive and healthy.  Am passionate about quite a number of things, from my faith, to working on myself,to advocating a positive and long lasting change, to cooking,  to acting up and debating, to helping people and supporting a good gracious course, to family and encouraging people,   to learning and discovering purpose etc and oh yeah to daydreaming.lol. 

2) Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
I can't remember 5 years ago or been upset sef. I have to crack my brain for that one.  However, (none related), I recall in college, defending  a friend that got involved in  a fight and had a bottle of coke thrown in my face. Kia,I held my face dear thinking "ah, who sent me"? I knew my mum would even add salt and pepper by telling me off ofcourse. I had to go to the sick bay and all the people involved in the  fight almost got expelled. Lets just say next time a friend is fighting I will be shouting from a distance.. abeg no be my eyes they go remove. 

3) What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I can't think of an answer to the question ermmmm random, but maybe ask a guy I realllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy like that gives me gooey feeling, makes me melt all over and keeps my heart thumping like its about to pop out of my delicate chest. If I could I wouldn't mind asking him on a date or so. Oooo the fine dudes I have fancied. lol. .. "covers face" but yeah... warra shame though. I have too much pride and respect, cant do it and will NEVER DO IT. Thank you very much. The Guy should the chasing and calling around abeg o. Tradition still stands. pere.

4) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Smile more. if i could say one more, pls poo less too. lol. hahahaha

5) Would you break the law to save a loved one?
ish.... that one is tough but hmmmmmmm.... breaking law isn't right but saving a loved one is essential so... 


My five questions?
1) Five amazing things you recall from your childhood?
2) Your favourite method of asking someone else for something you would like or help you desire?
3) What makes you giggle or laugh the most?
4)What you would like to change about the world?
5)Challenges you look forward to  overcoming and accomplishing?

My five tags are: Have fun. xxx
1. UG.... you need to blog more nah. I miss them stories. lol. x
2. AY

Thank you all for reading.

I pray God sees us through all our endeavours. xoxo