Tuesday, 26 February 2013

This Kind of LOVE.......

Thank you for visiting. Year of reaching Targets 2013...

Hello my beautiful blessed readers,

Its been a while since I brought you a very inspiring love story. So pls read, relax with a cup of tea, coffee or whatever you fancy.

I never knew been married would bring me this much joy and content, well I knew I would be happy but this happiness is simply indescribable.I can honestly say marriage is a gift and people that find themselves in a beautiful marriage are undoubtedly blessed. I met my then sweetheart about 6 years ago, his name Chijioke. You see we started out as friends intoxicated with one another's  company. Our friendship quickly blossomed into something quite extraordinary well to me at least. I felt I was truly living a fantasy,  "almost every girl dream". You know the meeting prince charming part and staying enchanted sort of a thing. It was magical.

We were incredibly intimate and oh by that I meant we were really close (soul to soul, bearing all the secrets). I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and feel free, I loved the " feeling" of feeling free and I believe he was also comfortable too. We had loads of fun too, we would talk about our childhood, our families and future goals. He  was mesmerised by me, he couldn't figure me out, he was sure I was certainly different in  a peculiar way. He couldn't put it in  exact words but he admitted I was rare and special (aren't we all in our own ways).  I appeared to be someone that was quite wise, outspoken, sure of herself  and mature minded for her young age. It felt as though I had figured everything out. He did used to feel he was way below my league, but I would simply brush it off and remind him he was daft to think such. I admired him, I admired his love for God, it is although not rare to see men in the house of God but he was different. He was real, he had doubts and also alot of questions but he was real and he had a strong zeal for God and his words. I recall the amazing times we would spend  chatting away about all sorts, and how we both wanted to change the world in our own little way. I was mesmerised by how "Gentlemanly" he was to me. I loved the  way he held my hands softly when we walked, the way he would  walk on my right or left depending to "supposedly" protect me, I loved the way he would whisper something silly in my ear which made me giggle most times.  The way he looked lovingly into my eyes was just so breathtaking. I  enjoyed the way he hugged me, it was very gentle and passionate. My goodness, the thoughts of  it all  sends shivers down my spine, he was my candy man in every way.

I knew falling in love was somewhat cool but this was "cooler" than cool, because  it was  genuine, awesome,  nurtured and inspired. Our time together, I cherished. I knew he had issues,I knew he had all sorts of issues from low self esteem, insecurities, indecisiveness etc but he was good to me. He treated me specially with the little he had, he was my besty. I usually lit up when I saw him coming or when he calls me. However,  things changed, as they say  "life is full of ups and downs". Chijioke, needed to grow, we were way too similar in age and he knew he wasn't ready for what I truly wanted us to end up as which of was course marriage. I never thought I would see the day we both would say a "sour" goodbye to each other, it wasn't supposed to be. Yes, we were both from different tribes but we reside "abroad" besides the world is alot more accepting and surely that could be allowed? He was a mummy's boy  but I talked myself into  believing  he would at least  fight for me, for us and for our future  that we fondly talked  about but he didn't and that hurt.  I cried, I wailed, I cried some more, my heart felt ripped, I was an emotional wreck.  I walked with tears following freely down my face, I kissed my tears to sleep most times and went to sleep empty but there came a point.  This could no longer go on, I had to accept this was a part of my life  and this beautiful dream was over. It wasn't a perfect relationship, we did quarrel but it was beautiful, it was just simply beautiful. Moving  on wasn't easy but I did, letting go of the pain wasn't easy  either but I got through, however the hardest part was trying not to remember he was real. I was so certain my future was with him and I wanted it to be, but it I had to talk myself into believing it wasn't suppose to be. Yet, I couldn't forget him, us or our memories, I knew I was deluded, simply naive and deluded to think or believe he would ever come back.

I guess faith really is amazing " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" ( Hebrews 11 vs 1). My grandma's favourite passage, she loved it and lived by it. I didn't know what the future held, I would have thought getting into relationships with other men could potentially help but it didn't. It didn't matter who the guy was, my heart and soul was somewhere else.  I kept telling myself he had to come back but at the same time I had my doubts and reservations, as they say, "life goes on".
I lived, I liked, I fancied, I laughed, I dined, I shrugged etc but I couldn't love the way I did. When you make a decision to love someone, you cant unlove them or  can you?   For me I couldn't undo the decision, it would have been easier to forget if  he was horrible to me or he was rubbish in most areas or he  was simply rude, nasty or evil but he wasn't. He can be cheeky, indecisive and very assuming but I knew he had his barriers and insecurities.  Forgiveness came easily because loving him was easy and I couldn't keep records of his wrongs, he mostly apologises and tries to be better. He wasn't like his peers, he was incredibly gentle,  approachable, helpful, supportive,  kind, respectful, honest, eloquent in writing and in speech and I love those attributes.  I really do and that wasn't all,  he also told the most unfunny jokes in the world and does the stupidest accents/mimics  ever but I LOVED it. I enjoyed the silly faces and oh  the remarks but yet it was all in my memories and I smile each time I recall them.

 I started my own business, I simply poured my spirit into it and on a day like every other day I worked hard. However, today I received a letter. It appeared in an exquisite  brown envelope with  purple rims,  it looked vintage and quite a taste. I couldn't imagine what the envelope would contain, but  I had a feeling it was more than a letter. I tried not to anticipate anything, I calmly laid it  under my things to do for the next few days, I was not going to open just yet. It had to be something I would read in a quite and relaxed atmosphere.  I was  busy  and I didn't want to treat it in a hasty manner.

In the evening, when the building was empty, I sat with my expensive china tea Mum bought  me. She is such a lover of expensive things. I lit a candle for some  reason, I guess I  felt the urge to read it in such a vintage style. I opened it carefully avoiding ripping the beautiful rims. I suppose one could assume, somebody has truly done something  out of the blue or slightly romantic. My heart skipped at the first sight of my image, I  chuckled as I took the the first look at my picture, it was a picture of me in  a vintage photograph. I was wearing a beautiful dress with a yellow hat on. I had a swift memory of the day I wore the dress to see my sweetheart, a beautiful sunny day and I was having the best times.

I turned the picture over  and on  it was written................

I will continue next time folks. I refused to write a long post this time around. Lol.

 Thanks for reading.

God is love....

8 comments:

  1. Oh gosh you had me so excited, waiting to read the continuation

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  2. Anxiously waiting for the continuation...pls don't keep me waiting too long oh.

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  3. this is so interesting my attention was not diverted for 1sec, why did u have 2 stop, nt fair

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    1. lol....thanks for reading... hahaha.. glad u enjoyed it.

      Welcome to DOHK blog....

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  4. You just left me wanting more...come back with the rest of the post.

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    1. happy grin........

      Glad you enjoyed reading. xxxx

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