Saturday, 16 March 2013

This Kind of LOVE Cont...

On it wrote:

My sunshine, I have never stopped loving you. I went away a boy and now am a Man. A man that I am, I want another chance to do it right, to make it better and love you dearly as you deserved. 

Yours always and forever


I read it again, and again and again.Precisely  four years, no contact and now this. I went through the envelope again and found his contact card saying we should  meet up. I smiled, blushed and seemingly felt WOW. I hadn't realised my hands were doing what my head wanted whilst my heart was busy screaming. I ripped the whole lot and chucked it in the bin. I switched on my light, put off the candle, took my bag and coat and left the office at 8:00 pm.
 I was knackered,  with my "To- Do -Lists", I  called Mum, called Catherine about the wedding, caught  up on my movie night and ate the meal I had been looking forward to. As if nothing ever happened, I had a shower and went to bed. I woke up to a morning of sweet sweet Sun, I love the SUN, I  am a sun person. I do prefer it warm with a cool breeze but I also don't mind it HOT as long as I my bottle of  chilled water and lotion of sunburn cream. I went to the office with a smile on my face, happy the Sun was smiling on me.  I could feel it. It loved me before and it does always as I felt the warmth on my shoulders, it was the perfect day to wear a beautiful yellow armless dress. Yum.

I walked into my office and was greeted with a bunch of flowers I thought,  "O wow, that a nice gesture, I smiled, was it a client this time around, it looked quite expensive". I am aware our clients do send expensive flowers to say "Thank you" for planning  all sorts of dinner dates, weddings, birthdays, corporate events and much more.  I took another look at it, I admired the different roses including the gorgeous smell. I read the card, it was from him. This time, I didn't chuck them away I dumped the withered ones that I got just few days before and filled the vase. It looked perfect sitting just next to the reception desk, it was much better there in comparison to my office. It does bring a glow to the reception area and it should attract the  attention of clients. I smiled and hummed to myself and made my way to my office. This time it was a feel good smile, you have to try harder was my thought,  and I closed the door.

It was a pretty hectic day and with loads of meetings. I certainly wasn't expecting to see anyone that was not booked in but I did. I saw the man himself, the one behind the notes and the flowers. Goodness, he looked dashing, I can't fault him. He looked the part and dressed the part and surprisingly more handsome, quite huge too. My hands were sweaty, heart racing, No  make it " thumping and hyperventilating" but I had to play it cool.

I caressed  my dress with both my hands  proceeded to address his name Mr ... I wasn't to finish the sentence, a bear hug had greeted me. I stood there stunned and responded with a lame and weak hug but that should do. I gently removed myself from the bear hug, gestured towards the sit in front of me and I opened my mouth to talk more. Next I knew, he was on his knees, his words "You don't have to say anything, in fact don't say anything.  I  have loved you everyday of my life but I knew I was not ready to be what you wanted us to be, I felt I needed to be a certain standard to be with you  and my perfect excuse was,  I didn't want to hold you back from all you could have. You are  a great lady, no pardon me "you are an exceptional human being with an amazing personality". I kicked myself throughout the whole time apart but I needed to grow and to be sure of what I could be for us. I prayed for you everyday, us and possibly our future and  I believed at the right time I would   come back for us. The thing is, the time  never  felt right until I made up mind about what I wanted and  without a doubt I know  it is you, us and  our future. Please find it your  heart to forgive me and come back.  I am not going anywhere, so you have no choice, well at least am hoping you don't."

I stood  there staring at him and watching  everything play out like a movie. It was dramatic, intense, I could see and sense the passion. It was just so surreal but I had to do what my head was thinking. Which was "Get OUT". I called security to intervene  and get him out. I couldn't believe I was throwing one of the finest lawyers out,  and importantly the Guy I once loved so much.  I sent him out and cried my eyes out, though I wanted him, it wouldn't be at his terms. After the episode, it took few six months of contemplating,  understanding myself and a massive dose of prayer to come to terms with the idea of "us" again. Funny thing was, I didn't anticipate I could react the way I did. Before he finally showed up, a part of me did pray about us and possibly reconnecting and that made me think  I would run  into his arms or at least be decent and actually go on dates with him. I guess my head had other plans and my mind seemed to be respond.

With all of that, he fought, o he fought. He sent letters everyday as he promised when he left my office. I read each letter and  tore it up.  Eventually, I said Yes  on my birthday. I guess my happy days came after I was convicted he was ready for me, us and our future. Was it easy to let down my barriers? Heck No. I had grown into my own woman, I had worked my way in life, fought and still fighting for what is right and just. I wouldn't want to throw it away because the love my life came back. My head said that not me but I said "life is mysterious, love does not happen all the time, we take chances, we take risks and we take time but its not everyday LOVE comes knocking back".

Marrying him on that day wasn't the best day, No. Everyday is the best day. I smile, I laugh, I cry, I giggle, I get upset, I scream, I disagree, I mourn, I display randomness, I stand my ground, I pray, I love, I cook, I plan, I chuckle, I share, I give, I submit, I withdraw, I share memories  but everyday is beautiful. It was better to wait for a Man, than to wait and marry a boy that would take a while to find his way whilst he makes indecisive decisions that will wreck our lives. I waited, I believed, I prayed and most times felt DELUDED but he felt the same way and  he came back not only for me but to FIGHT and prove I am needed. I love the feeling.

"Therefore a  man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24.

He did just that, cleaving is a process but he is doing a great job. As I sat down to write how lovely and amazing he has been to me I couldn't help but smile and think wow our KIND of LOVE is amazing. I thought writing him and sending him a Thank You letter for being a great husband and a cool dad would remind him that he is always needed and forever appreciated.

Are we gonna live happily ever after? Yes, because happiness is what you make it. It is not in material things it is in our actions, in our hearts in the way we do and practice things. We will fight, argue, disagree and love some more why: conflicts helps us to discover our likes, our boundaries and what we should do differently.
Is it easy? Yes, it is with the right person and the right intentions. Loving is easy and natural.
Will it last forever? Yes, why because nothing never dies until YOU let it.
Will things get in the way? Yes, challenges are part of the journey, it strengthens and bind the cords of love and even wax stronger. Genuine love and pure hearts can take alot and will stand through tests and trials. We intend to spend each time with God using  1st Corinthians Ch 13 4-8 as reminder of what we share and intend to show our generations.

I love to "love" and I will chose to "love" you always now and forever.

P.S. This is a fictional story  truly inspired by my creative mind and the Holy Spirit..

Thanks for reading.

God is good at being awesome and full of surprises. Never stop claiming...


Made me better man today...

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