Saturday, 16 March 2013

Haters are GONNA Hate. SO let THEM.

2013....

Year of reaching TARGETS..

Hello Everyone,

I know some of us have missed me, my posts and maybe comments *chuckles*.. I like to think so sha.. lol

To start off, am not a blogger that generally talks about these things i.e. hating. I have never had the reason to. I am also not the type that generally writes by reading other posts.  My comments are usually enough to show my strong opinions, though I think if I  blogged often people are able to see more of me and my thoughts pattern. Which I think it great (I should just try harder lol).

This post is inspired by many things but ultimately what pushed me to writing is the post I read on my lovely Aunty IB blog.  People should leave her for me o. I like her alot because she is bold enough to communicate her feelings and her stance, though it might not always go down well with everybody, such is life. At least, she is learning and aims to be better, not everyone can boast of that. This is a link to the post Simply Mee.

Back to the topic of the day. lol o. The term hating is subjective, it will vary depending on individuals and their understanding of things. Typically, when people term others as haters I have to read the comment or what they have said to see it as that. In some cases, some comments are not hateful its just the choice of words and interpretation that makes it come across as that. In most cases or less, some people are not sensitive enough to realise that the comment might be hateful or considered rude and unnecessary  We live to learn.
What I generally find hateful is mainly centered around personal attacks, for example, you get people that insult people's image and go further by calling them horrible names and attacking the rest of their family members. I find that not only appalling but disrespectful to the person in question saying such, and it makes me marvel if anything at the type of mindset and issues the person abhors in them. "By their fruits you shall know them". Mattew 7: 16 (Pls read the whole chapter, its just amazing).

Moreover, I do think some hateful things some people say are not generally intended that way, it might be the passion and the lack of insight to the situation that makes them talk as such or maybe the ground they stand on. For me, I have very strong opinions and I am incredibly expressive with my words, actions and body language etc if you met me in real person, I suppose that the testament. In comparison to some people, I do a lot of reflections, that has been a big part of my growth and growing process and if at all I feel or convicted I didn't handle a matter in love or could have been better handled,  am quick to apologise and amend my ways. Sadly, not alot of us have the capability  to exercise humility and some of us simply choose/chose not too.

There is a saying  that goes "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all". I think "good" is relative, does it mean good as in nothing elevating to say or does it mean you must first think of a good thing and if you don't see the good, it means the rests are bad, therefore you shouldn't point out an error? We are humans and our opinions are formed by various issues and situations we are influenced by.After all, we are products of our environment, if you someone doesn't see any good but chooses to calmly state their points without any form of aggressiveness or hateful tone, it most likely they do have something good to say. Maybe not what we want to hear but their  comment or opinion makes sense and it would make a different if employed.  Obviously, we are required to sift through things and weigh them.

I think that hating is not the issue, because to a degree we all dislike some things and have a strong opinions about stuffs be it religion, relationships, upbringing etc. I guess what stands out for me is the way we approach the issue and discuss it without breaking the roofs or ripping out the keyboard. Lool. If you find yourself wanting to do something destructive based on someone else disagreeing with you, I suggest you find a chill corner or better still do something about it because that for me is a sign of "VIOLENCE" which am sorry it shouldn't not be tolerated because you want to "by force by fire" push the person to believe your points of view in order words coercing the person. If you stand correct, leave the matter and pray for the person to see it  for themselves that for me is the true way. In fact, doing so might allow the person to think and reflect.

I also do think that seeing that the world is diverse with different personalities, it is inevitable not to get someone or somebody that wouldn't hate or pour venom. I think the  hurtful things some people say, pierce through the hearts but you have to ask few questions. What made this person say such horrid things? could  they have an element of truth? Could they have their own personal demons fighting them? Are they indirectly seeking help? Do they enjoy feeding off negative vibes to feel good or are they generally aiming to pull me down?  Based on your answers, my solution,  do try to answer/respond in love trust me it will not only back fire it will help you to understand some people are just "attention seekers" and love does conquer.  Besides,  one can still clarify without having to stoop low to the level of the hateful comment for example calling horrid names. You know Why:  "the hearts of man is desperately wicked", sometimes you don't know the state of mind of people, their history, their upbringing, their challenges etc. If it was online, you can't see this person, look/ assess them and you don't know whether they have had in for you in a long time etc. You don't know alot of things so why would you think you can take them on? If anything, they are charged and rearing to go after all its is their mouth and opinions. It can't be easy to LOVE but that the calling, I'd say pray for grace and strength.

I am grateful for my upbringing and my faith, because first and foremost, we all have opinions. If you hate, that is your opinion, I am not about to start a world war 3 because of what you have said. I will admit depending on the severity of what was said, I would be hurt but I won't allow the hurt to rule my mind and emotions. I have the CHOICE. The other thing is, you don't know me,I don't know you, if you die today I prolly wont know, so what my own?. Besides,  it is energy and time consuming replying to an hateful comment like seriously the person is already less busy and looking to while away their idle time.
Finally, that hater or the commentator with the hateful comment will not be the last person that will attack or say horrible things so why should I start entertaining you?  I won't be the first or last person that has been dizzed not only by haters but by any particular hater.

Life is tough as it is, and some people derive some sort of sad joy by sapping our energy so what do you do? You ignore and pray for them. God said he will heaps of coal on your enemies  head.  Unfortunately, some people have allowed themselves to used by all sorts.  The other thing I would say is, there are extremities and its important we also check ourselves, some people do say hateful things but there could be an element of "truth in it".We should take time to sift through things and not allow our emotions to take over as it is sometimes always the case.

Lastly, if you look through history of great men and women, pls do let me know if they didn't encounter or still encounter any form of hatred and injustice. When you generate hate, it means you are making an impact, so pls don't be discouraged, if anything your words are like "Loud SIRENS" to some people. I also think some of us have it easy with some haters, some people get it really bad so pls be grateful in a way. lol. You have to always compare. I am not saying is right or fair that "haters" or "hateful" comments should be here to stay but the reality is, it is here to stay before us it did and it will after us because like everything in life "there are opposites" so it is law and part of life processes. Jesus had it bad, and for me despite his love and sacrificial death  and salvation to mankind he still does have it  bad and prolly will till the end of time.  So can you ever please people. NO ( I am spelling it out). You cant.

So next time you see any awful comment. MAKE SURE YOU CHOSE wisely.

P.S. I would like to say the word "hate" has been misused and is now tagged on anyone that disagrees, critics or points things out. Its not acceptable to just tag people as hate because they disagree with your opinion or share theirs.

God is love and pls don't stop praying for grace and strength.

xxx


6 comments:

  1. Thank you for the mention and link my dear.

    Yes, hate is a strong word to use and abused as you explained. Dis-agreeing is another. When someone tells you to SHUT-UP or cuss out your family members, that to me is UNDILUTED HATE/HATRED!

    We all argue or debate when in school and at home, and among friends, everybody trying to proof his/her point is right. But trying to intimidate/ threaten/ blackmail or coerce someone to accept your views to me is hate.

    Implying someone's blog is good for just one thing or abusing the blog itself because they don't go with the same line of thoughts to me is hate!

    Don't researchers andscientist argue about theories before they are come to a compromise or accept it as a fact, before presenting it to the world?

    But what do we have here? If I say this is the angle I see an issue, and the next thing I hear is sarcastic comments and innuedoes....WHY????

    If one does not have grudge against someone, what does it take to say: but this is the way I see it, and both agree to disagree or come to a compromise or understanding.

    We learn everday and nobody knows it all! We are a product of our environment, as you explained, so why should we see a situation the same way? What makes the other person think his/hers is right and must be accepted.

    What annoys me most is the holistic comments. Oh please! They are some comments that are devoid of honesty ....so empty!

    If a commenter understands a post, you would know from the comment, and not an off-shoot comment to pick holes in the stories or start an arguement as some are wrought to do.
    Like you explained in your comment in my blog, some take satisfaction in seeing people angry reactions.....W-H-Y?

    Thanks very much for this 'sequel' to my post, and your love. Please know that you are appreciated. HUGS.

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    1. awww babes.... am glad u vented...

      Dont worry love.. you know you are special and I agree if only people just spoke with so much maturity.. I guess it would be great but it is what it is..

      xoxoxo

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  2. This blogville is turning to "Nkan be" oh. Maybe because I don't follow so many blogs I don't come across all the "hating" sha. Why diss or use foul words on someone..it's not right. We can all pass across our views or comments constructively.

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    1. abi ooo my sister... na so we see am o.. hope u r good love. xx

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  3. People just like to hide behind their computers and spew a lot of hate forth. It is well

    P.S: How have you been?

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    Replies
    1. Lool... babes, long time. Am glad u visited o.

      I am well love. Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated. xx

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