Monday, 24 September 2012

The Marriage Advisor !!!

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..


 Hello Sweet cakes,

Yes you.. lol.

So my weekend was fun,  packed with loads of bonding with Mum (she came to spend some time with me). Phew, it is not easy running around cooking, getting food, getting told off for not coming my hair (its mine oh). Also  I must indulge in a conversation I rather just not,  plus I had to teach her how to use  the new touchscreen phone she upgraded to. WOW. Its deep/intense. I love my Mum although the emotional blackmail to get what she wants is sooo not fair but I guess it is what it is. We had small fun sha, I told her (future hubby) needs to be prepared cos I foresee you becoming more demanding lol.. She did compliment me, blessed and prayed for me and my older sis. I have been told my hubby is a lucky man ohh, he will be enjoying my cooking (since a good food is a way to a man’s heart etc something along those lines). Lol. Surely, I have more to me than cooking, to which she agreed. Hehe, she is jokes.

Back to the topic of the post, I met with an Aunty (we are not related, just call her AUNTY out of respect). She has a business and sells goodies, bags, dresses, suits etc all sourced from Italy (home of fashion).  Will upload some her of goodies soon on my blog. X. Moving on, I was supposed to help her with marketing and she ended up telling me more stuff than I bargained for.

Nonetheless Aunty F, started with her gist, how we got talking about marriage I don’t know but it was through a conversation and it goes.
Note: this lady is well described as Nitty Gritty, she no send she go talk am as it is.. lol… so you have an idea who she is. Love you SIMPLY MEE.

Aunty F: No marriage is perfect. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is not happy and is lying. She argues some people in church should not be giving advice if they haven’t gone through the same experience. She gave an analogy, in the UK, they employ people that have/share similar experiences but have risen above situations to counsel others that are going through it. A case of a rape victim, it is likely that sometimes the victim is suppressed/oppressed by the reoccurrence of the situation.  Hence, the counsellor with their experience and techniques can counsel and encourage the victim because they have an idea of what it is like and know what to say. Therefore, some people in church should not give advice in a matter that doesn’t concern e.g. marriage.

I don’t know if I agree with some of her views but I saw where she came from when she mentioned some people do not tell it as it is. Too much holy holy… I guess.

Some of her points were, I think women should be told what to avoid in a man through real life examples.

Aunty F points:

Any man that does not know how to play with a child that comes running towards him or don’t know how to show love i.e. cuddle. HE WONT CUDDLE HIS OWN.

A man that likes to dress, i.e. fashionable, and everything he wears must match all the time. Be sure if you marry such man there will be rivalry and competition in the house. He will always want to outdo his wife and is jealous when his wife buys new clothes etc.

A man that has too many friends, BEWARE. One or two close friends are ok but too many then it becomes too much. This is because his friends will talk rubbish and I when he does mention his wife and her ways, they will be keen to spice the story up and offer useless advice.

A man that loves to PARTY; RUN, because he won’t change for you, it is already in his blood. By the time you marry such man, you will find that you are left babysitting the children all the time. When you do decide to confront him, he will not only remind you but tell you squarely, that you knew this was him before you said YES. “Old habits die hard”.

After courting a man for 8 years and a disappointment. She crossed out her lists and simply wrote RESPONSBILE HUSBAND which she says she has now.

As for me, I questioned her about the 8 years relationship,  why it took so LONG  and yet she missed it? (I am not particularly FOR long relationships past 3yrs or more). She said she was in denial, she felt, where will she start from. She mentioned that they had arranged everything and the day or week to the D DAY, he broke the news he wants OUT. Well, herself and her family ate the cake and enjoyed lool. She is jokes, despite the disappointment she chose to rise above it. It was if she saw it coming, i.e. the disappointment from the guy.

I have always said what you see now with your bf/gf now, multiply  the habits you can't tolerate now by  100 not 10  (when you two marry)  IF YOU CANT HACK IT NOW, PLS RECONSIDER your options cos ermmm it is your own marriage only. If he/she  is violent, no more excuses, if he/she is a cheat no more excuses, if he/she lacks respects no more excuses,  if he/she lacks moral and values no more excuses, if he/she is not fully committed no more excuses.  In  a nutshell, if you know you are living in denial then it’s time to wake up and “smell the burnt okra”. Lol.

But, sha there is nothing prayers can't not do.

I think her advise/points applies to both sexes.

So what do you think?

God is LOVE......

This is for my MUM....

                                         Randomness I enjoy @ work.
                 

23 comments:

  1. They are definitely very practical tips. I remembered a 'friend' told me once that he'd do anything for money and in my head i went "so here is where our friendship part ways"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol... I have officially adopted you as 2nd Aunt. pere...lol..

      Thanks for visiting n commenting. xx

      Delete
    2. Yay! I have a new blog fam *muah*

      Delete
  2. great tips. i relate with the "too many friend" point.......bad friends can change even the best guy

    ReplyDelete
  3. ahahahahaha, thank you so much for the compliment and mentioning. I like this your aunty already o. She is telling the truth! If only women will listen..we are always in denial believing he will change! USAI!
    Women see so many RED FLAGS but ignore it, only for them to complain later. if you know you cannot deal with that flaw when courting, then don't bother to get married because like you said it will be multiplied by 10!
    During courtship, we are always on our best behaviour, yet some flaws do slip out, then talkless of when we are now living 24/7 in each others face!
    Greet your mum for me oo. Yes, she is reaping the labour of her love and work. Oya! spoil am well well, with your delicious cooking, which i know your future hubby will appreciate and other things *winks*...and let her know you appreciate her.
    thank you again xoxo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are welcome love. xxx

      10 ke its 100.... LOL.

      thanks again, I will definitely let her know... xxx

      Delete
    2. Very true @ women ignoring red flags, the signs are usually there.

      For me o, my motto is, 'it is best to stay single than manage in marriage', i no dey for suffering n smiling biko. Life is beautiful, especially as a single lady! Ha ha!

      Delete
    3. i agree ohh....

      a link comes to mind...
      http://www.mamuje.com/2012/09/are-you-waiting-for-perfect-man.html

      Life is beautiful either way but it is what you make it. lol. xxx

      thanks for visiting love, nice to see your comment.

      Delete
  4. This relationship thing, eh! It's like an evergreen topic; one that's always hot and with loads of buzz.
    The 'list' is endless (different peeps have their different tales), some get it some don't and unfortunately, there's no universal/approved manual/guideline save the Bible.
    God help us!
    Thanks to your 'aunt' for sharing her bit.
    Good blog too....xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank u... chia u name is long no be small. lol.

      You are welcome to my blog, waving with love.

      I agree with you the BIBLE is defo....

      Thank u for the compliment.. heheh.. my head is swelling.. hahaha
      xxx

      Delete
  5. I agree with Aunty F's advice o. Wow, but that 8 years guy is mean sha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for visiting love...

      8 yrs is a loonnnngg time but she knew, she was living in denial....

      Delete
  6. This has really got me thinking.. She has given very important advice..
    Thanks for sharing..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your aunty really tried dating for such a long time. Well marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured...if there's any habit you can't live with during courtship,it's better to back out now than,divorce later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yep..... obviously some of us like to live in CUCKOO land..

      thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  8. How did I miss this post? nawa o..

    Loving the points your Aunt made..As you said the flaws multiplied by 100..hmmm got me thinking

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol.. thanks boo. as in..... u missed ke..lol. xxx

      Delete
  9. I love your aunty oh. She is very right. My dear, we should keep our eyes peeled and trust in God. Ask the Holy Spirit for direction always.

    ReplyDelete
  10. my dear you aunt is on point. i totally agree with her points. If he was a party freak b4 he got married,why will u think he is going to change. i especially dont like guys with way too many friends(but that is my opinion). She has spoken out of experience and true maturity. i love her already. How are u doin sha, been a while

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by and thank you for your contribution.....

      Am good o. I know it has. I popped over at yours sometime ago.

      Delete

Thank you for visiting.

Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..