Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Assumptions- Never underestimate its POWER.

Hello beautiful and blessed people,

I hope we are well and our loved ones are well too.

I appreciate the sneak peaks and comments on my last post.
It does feel good to be back, although I am yet to update everyone regarding how my new year resolutions  is going.

Back to the topic I aim to discuss.
Well the thing is, a situation occurred sometime ago that I felt I needed to address but on addressing it turned out that maybe just maybe I was subconsciously ruled by the power of ASSUMPTIONS.
You see as humans, I think its natural that we automatically assume certain things or assume more things than usual especially  when there is lack of clarity and communication. While some of us have used past experience to master/combat  the art of assumptions i.e. ability to clearly clarify things  and be sure before jumping into conclusions, some of us however have not yet to mastered the art or we are just good at  second guessing things.lol..

Most times, I like to be clear on things and not assume as much but sometimes the actions that someone portrays can also alter views and  allow room for assumptions. However, the power of assumptions can only take over   if I let IT.  I say let it because we have the power to control the thoughts we feed into our system and the way we chose to see a situation or interpret an action.
In some cases, the power of assumptions has caused alot of havoc, messed up alot of relationships and even destroyed what was once beautiful. Whether it is communication that is not strong enough or the ability to misinterpret things that is much stronger only the person in the situation is able to determine and obviously analyse the situation and make judgment.

This leads me to my recent story on assumption or should I say purposely led "assumption".
Myself and  a single friend of mine were catching up on gist and girly talk etc. In the mist of the convo, she mentioned she found a brother for me in church, I was like OK, (I am not a church brother type of person o)it just means I don't like the idea that church bros are better etc humans are still humans. Anyhoo,I recall saying ha am not interested, she said o he is igbo, shebi you like igbo boys. My response, well I used to cos my ex was igbo but now that am totally  over him am open to all ethnicity(well some). She was like since when, besides the dude she mentioned I felt was not my type lol, am sorry we all have a type don't we? and his face always looked serious. Cut long story short, we laughed about it and ended  there but was it?

It was about a  week or so, it was our department turn to clean the church, I came around to clean the toilets and other communal areas. The igbo dude in question is in the choir and plays the keyboard, the choir were rehearsing when I came to clean,while familiar faces said hello,I went about doing my bits. We have never exchanged pleasantries before but that day for the first time he came to approach me and said hello and we talked for a bit sha.....
From that day when dude saw me, he says hello and I found myself (ahem ahem looking forward to seeing him and having a massive grin on my face too) but I played it cool nah. I must say though, something didn't quite add up deep down.

Although,  he wasn't my type but I liked his smile, I thought it was cute (have I told you I like a sweet smile on  a dude? well now you know. I also like guys with BODY *coversface* when I say body I mean (forget it), renew mind pls. Ok,ok, I like them in nice hot thick body not fat though, no no just fine body which by the way the dude in question didn't have. However, I was subconsciously thinking to myself maybe if I get to know him sha I can overlook my vanity self. Funny thing was, during my small crush, Pastor preached on a topic and talked about "marrying a  potential that beauty fades". I thought hmmm maybe this is for me. He might not be all that I secretly desire in terms of physical attributes but hey no harm in being friends nah.

Over the duration, we would talk, found out what we both do, what we both studied and where our families are based etc. He  mentioned he went to Nigeria to visit but nothing else other than the family are well when I asked. So, no cue there that he is  unavailable anyhoo he asked for my facebook name which I replied it would be impossible to find me. I took his instead but couldn't find him. The next couple of times  we spoke we talked about the facebook thing and he proceeded to add me through mutual friends from church on Facebook.

As you do now, you look through the pics which I kinda felt nah brov, dude has got to be taken at least. I felt he was one of those Nigerian dudes that studied in the UK but have a potential gf, fiance or so back at home. When my friend (the lady that suggested the dude etc)approached the subject I said I don't think its gonna work and she kept on saying be optimistic etc but I had my doubts.  Yawah gas, the same lady/friend that was playing match.com later told me he might have gone to Nigeria to get married.

True true true, dude had gone to Niaj and brought a wife back. All this time, me thought dude was kinda into me just based on the actions.I sorta mentioned it to him that all this time he didn't tell me he was getting married  and he acted surprised or so etc.

All the same,the moral of the story is, I could have made a fool out of myself due to elements of assumptions. Things like these happen all the time and in all fairness I would have thought it was only normal to mention it that he is getting hooked but  hey he didn't and I assumed/misread into his actions bearing in my mind a seed was sown from lady/friend(be careful what you allow people tell you and what you read meaning into).

Point am trying to make is, just because people act a certain way or do certain things should not give us the go ahead to assume.Although, in some instances  it is blatantly obvious that 1+1= 2, I think its best to ask and be in the know. In some cases, some people do assume but have an open mind that it could go either way. Maybe the latter approach is more manageable, I dont know.

I will stop here.
I have learnt from this and continue to learn.

Thank you for  visiting and reading.
Be Blessed and Stay Blessed.
God is love.

Still championing my TWA, so far have been natural for 6months but did BIG CHOP 4months plus few days ago. I need to do an update of my recent hair.

3 comments:

  1. AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Na wah oh.....

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  2. Awwwww..........did he drop any hints that he wanted more than a platonic relationship?....

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    Replies
    1. To be honest, I think his actions meant that he wanted friendship or some sort of cordial relationship or betterstill he just wanted to network. You cant tell much these days....lol. Maybe I was way ahead of myself with my assumptions perhaps his actions was more of what I read too much into.

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