Monday, 15 October 2012

The One I met before 2

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello beautiful ladies and handsome lads…… 
Hope you are cooolllll…

Welcome greetings to my new followers and greetings to my old followers. Kisses and hugs..xx

Back to the much anticipated continuation of the story  click HERE  for part 1.
P.S. The post is longish because I know you just want to read it all

Segun and I decided to go for the slow and steady pace type of relationship where everything happens in slow motion lol. Am kidding, we tried not to place unnecessary pressure on each other instead take each moment in. This was our motto “unravel the dreams and soak in each day”. We came up with the words together, wrote it together and tried implementing it. With our motto we were able to visit six different cities in the UK in three months, fundraised to reach targets for our respectful charities  and so much more. It was fun and we took advantage of every slight opportunity. The memories created were just wonderful, and I loved it all. 

I had initially felt something was not right with Segun but I didn’t want to say anything or felt it was all in my head. It was exactly six weeks before my final year exams when Segun called to discuss exactly what my doubts were.

The conversation which I remember vividly played out like this.
Segun: Hey,
Me: Helooooo, what’s good?
Segun: God’s goodness.
Me: (laughs). Ok o share the good news.
Segun: How’s your work going?
Me: Its good. So are you not sharing the good news?
Segun: Well, something is bugging me.
Me: (begins to somewhat sweat it) what is it?
Segun: Ok, this has been bugging me for a while but I have not said anything because a) I am trying to see how I can best articulate my points b) I have been trying to figure  out the perfect time and place  to tell you. I figured I should just say it now and get it in the open. I am not HAPPY.
Me: Ok.
Segun: Won’t you ask me why?
Me: No not really. You said you figured you should get it out in the open so..
Segun: Ok, fine it cool. I will go ahead and explain why anyway. Am sure you are just being stubborn as usual. Bisi mii, you know how much am down for you right? You also know how much I respect you and your values and you also know I value your place in my life. The reason why am not happy is because I can no longer wait or tell myself to wait. I am attracted to you and I know for a definite you are also attracted to me too. I feel we should go to the next stage now, seriously I feel punished.
Segun: Is that all you will say throughout the convo.
Me: ermm I don’t know. Am busy so mind is everywhere.
Segun:  I guess you are really busy. I will leave you to get on with your work.

 Well from the conversation you can pretty much guess what happened. It didn’t end there, just a week later we broke up and I did the breaking by text.  For reasons that were personal, I began to withdraw and recoil and felt it was unfair on Segun. I suggested we went on a break whilst I sort my head out. I didn’t want it to happen yet I wanted to wait but at the same time I knew deep down this break was not short it was going to be long if not forever.

The thing is, I didn't know how to tell him nor did I trust myself to tell him the truth. Time and time I have felt the need to say  what was on my mind it but the words just hung in the air and when I do attempt,  I utter  different words and make  comments  like “You are incredible” etc(which I mean). I cried my eyes out and I could not stop crying when I composed the three line sentences. It was painful but I had to hurt myself and hurt him to save him from further compilations. I am mean, I know, but hey life was mean to me and though it’s not his fault I rather protect him than tell him the truth for now. I knew this day would come where he would want to get sexually intimate but I could not offer it. I had to mentally prepare for my surgery which was due to take place in two weeks, this surgery, I was determined had to be my final surgery.

I had been doing a lot of fasting and praying believing and trusting God this miracle will be mine. I have never had so much faith or expressed my faith this much before. This time around I wanted it and wanted my life back. Years of surgeries and constant reconstruction has had it toll me in every way possible be it social, physical, mental etc. I wanted my healing since when I could remember the pain of constant surgery but I genuinely wanted to have a   testimony.

 There are times I blamed my parents and felt if only they were more cautious and actually tried to be more constant at home and not working long hours all the time, maybe things would have been different. They do try their best and all these surgeries ate up both their financial resources. I have watched them cry, scream, shout and try to console me and each other that things will get better.

I was exactly three years old when Mum found me, behind the broken chair in the laundry bleeding heavily. She didn’t know what to do, but she immediately took me to the hospital. Based on doctor’s report, the housemaid at the time had been sexually assaulting me under both my parents’ noses and they didn’t know. I can’t remember so much now but I remember the fear and pain and I was told I will be killed if anyone found out. It wasn’t just him, he had two friends too.  The damage was severe, the infection had completely spread, it had gotten worse and nobody noticed. Mum and Dad worked from morning into the nights. Victor was a quick fix, the house maid had left without notice, they needed someone that will be available on a temporary basis until they found a house girl (Female maid). Victor was quickly hired based on the gateman recommendation. No background check, Mum and Dad too busy chasing the deals. I was an accident baby so the opportunity for Mum to be at home with me was not part of the option.

Back to the surgery I wanted this to be my last. I found the Surgeon based on my GP’s recommendation. He was kind, he had outlined what he intended to do and how it will work but assured me there was no guarantee i.e.  it would not be perfect but I will be near normal.

I refused to hold onto his words, though they pierced my heart. I was holding on to GOD, my relationship with God has been off and on. One minute am on it, the next am not because I get so depressed I sometimes feel like what the point?   Until I read a testimony similar to mine and I saw the visuals too. Even with that I had doubts and questions. However, instead of being depressed, I decided this testimony will be mine too. I believed it and I prophesied it. I kept saying God use his hands and make me whole again no more surgeries.

I had to defer some of my exams but it was worth it. I am always amazed each time I go for a check-up and  the Surgeon is also amazed that not only  did I heal properly, I am so normal. It’s been mine own miracle and when I graduated I didn’t hesitate to work with a charity that dealt with rape victims and I got to share my own experience of my ups and downs. I also started projects across Africa to campaign against child molestation and rape and to put in place laws that will change the face of rape. I worked with medical associates willing to donate and help victims that have suffered severe rape and need reconstruction.

All this while, I had kept myself and could not stop thinking about Segun. Three years seemed like a long time but I was waiting for another miracle from my Daddy. I had to trust somehow that he was still out there waiting for me. I knew Tayo didn’t say anything to him other than “keep praying for her”.  He would rage, cry and get angry was what Tayo told me. Tayo was the only one that knew about me and she also didn’t understand and never questioned me. Her mum was the nurse that referred us to the hospital that helped treat the infection I had, at the time it seemed impossible to access the right medical treatements because most hospitals simply didn't have access to adequate and updated medical resources. Tayo’s Mum never treated me less and I spent more time at theirs than I did with mine.  

The following year I went to Nigeria to visit my family, cousins and nephews. It was during the visit to one of the restaurants that I saw my sweetheart again. We were about to place an order when I heard the voice of a man next to me and I was certain that deep voice only belonged to one person Segun. I turned around Lo and behold “It was him I saw and I was about to utter his name when petite pretty Asian lady came to stand next him. He placed his hand around her waist and I saw what I know to real a wedding band.  They looked lovingly into each other eyes and exchanged kisses. I was looking and feeling like a 110% Mugu(fool), I was numb and  I could only see the customer service assistant lips moving, it was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

 I immediately ran out and yeah started crying and muttering stupid stuff to myself. Bisi how could you be so stupid and foolish. You need to grow up and let the young love go. It is not to be. These were what I was telling myself walking to my parked car, as I approached my car, a hand grabbed me.I was about to approach the grabber with a Taekwondo style (Yes, I learnt martial arts to fight oh), I turned around to find it was SEGUN… WHAT..

I was stunned and unable to speak. He said he had been calling my name and at first he thought it was not me although I had changed  he was unsure but he had to catch up with me to be sure. He gave me a hug whilst I stood there gawping.
He said  he was in the car when he saw  me, his cousin and his wife wanted something to eat. He was still talking and I was looking behind him, watching his cousin approach us with his Asian wife, I later found out she is from Singapore. They looked so much alike himself and his cousin.

He explained they both get it a lot. Between that day and for the next 3 weeks we talked, we caught up and surprisingly there were no hard feelings. He said he knew something was not right but he didn’t know and he knew deep down I cared for him but he was deeply hurt based on the way I treated him etc. I was hurt too and I could not bring myself to tell you the truth. I could not bear the shame. Segun agreed that he dated twice after me and it didn’t feel the same. He too decided to hand it over to God and pray about things. He took a break and concentrated on building his life and relationship with God.

 Its three years now and we are still going strong; the 2nd baby is on the way and am still thankful as yesterday. Miraculously I had my first naturally despite my fears and my doctor’s fears. It was not me it is God because I didn’t plan to, we had plan a C-section in place but the baby wanted to come naturally without much ado. I am truly blessed to have come this far.

I am even happier that am taking this journey with the love of my life Segun. It sounds cheesy but dreams do come true in big and small packages. We have our challenges but we are strong and we are courageous and that my friend is JESUS love.

This post is dedicated to anyone that has been through a lot and still going through rough patches that that there is more and your testimonies will come in due season.

This is a fictional story based on fictional characters; any correlation to real life incidents is purely coincidental.

Inspired by the Holy Spirit, written by me..

God is good even we doubt his love and existence.

P.S. Excuse any typos. I think i have to go back to  grammar school (not kidding, lol).
P.S.S. It my birthday this SATURDAY, YAY me is turning ermm.. 
Thanks for the pressies in advance. 
I thank God for life and grace to be here. xxx 


  1. Love love it!! had to go read the previous..Great write up! :)

    So its your birthday ey? How are we celebrating?

    1. Wow....thank u.. HAPPY GRIN..

      I am so glad you enjoyed it. xxxxxxx

  2. so Segun left his Asian wife for Bisi? hmmnn.....ok
    happy birthday in advance dear.

    1. lol... no oo that was segun's cousin..... abi na

    2. I suppose I should have been more elaborate..

      yes ooo thank u sweetness..

  3. a sucker for happy endings. Good story.

    Happy baiday to you in advance...where's the parry?

    1. lol... thanks love.

      no parry this year

  4. I love love and happy endings. I wish life was always like that. Anyways, Happy birthday in advance and did i hear 'no parry'? berra organise one sharp sharp cos i'm coming to eat 'jellof' rice

    1. awww babes you are not the only one.... as in if only.. but the definition of happy endings.......

      Thank you sweetness...

      Aunty T, I will oooo if you send me the money..*winks*.


  5. wow...nice piece..loved it...

    At first I thought it was your story...
    happy birthday in advance

    1. lol......... ah i got u there didnt I.. xxx

      thanks love...

      am glad you enjoyed

  6. First, happy birthday in advance my dear. got me again! Thought you were talking about yourself! Hence, i decided to wait and read about your first love story finish before gisting you on how i met my hubby as you asked for..mehn! you are good at telling stories that looks so real! :D
    weldone dear and send some cake to me o.

    1. Thank you sweetie

      loool..... Yay glad I got you ohh... hehe

      Oya gist oh.... cant wait... smiles... YAY.

      wow... big head..thanks am glad it comes across real.. YESOO.. azonto

      thank u again... lol @ cake oh... YES AUNTY IB..XX

  7. first off, happy birthday in advance dearie... you are a rare gem. May the favor of God continue to rest upon you in every aspect and area of your life and give you peace.

    The story is lovely, like seriously... I thought it was your story and when I got to the rape part, my heart sank and I got misty eyed but thank God for happy endings!! Best wishes!

    1. Thanks Priscy..... awww thanks.. big heads "am a rare gem"... YAY... i love that.. xxxx AMEN. AMEN. AMEN. i claim that prayer it is awesome. thank you love... xxxxx

      Awww thanks for the story.. hehe you enjoyed it. Thank God ohh. xxx

  8. Happy birthday in advance oo, have a great one. I would like to work on your book in future, should you ever decide to write one

    1. Thank you ohh my sister... na so oh. I will oh. xx

      Ooo am loving your confidence and vision and about writing the book, you are my contact ohh.. xxxx

      thanks love. xxx

  9. Awww, nicey! Who doesn't like happy endings? I do.

    Happy birthday in advance dear, have a beautiful year ahead!

    1. OOO thanks for reading love..


      and thanks for the happy birthday wishes...xxxx

  10. Oh, I love happy endingsm
    Happy birthday dear..:)

  11. *speechless*

    Fiction or no, awesome testimony about how God is bigger than anything we go through.

    1. Yes.. He is God is BIGGER THAN OUR ISSUES....


  12. And Happy Birthday in arrears Daughter of her king. THAT you are.

    1. lol... thanks salt.. welcome to DOHK...

      waving with love.


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