Friday, 2 November 2012

Learn by Precaution, and Live by IT!.

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are well and great.

This post is somewhat a personal opinion and I guess am trying to make a contribution in my own understanding.

Ever since the story of the ALUU killings, I have said very little other than the occasional comments I make and the Watsapp conversation I had with my friends etc.

There are certain topics that go around I don’t like getting myself into because a)I don’t have an opinion mostly  and  b) I don’t understand the situation.

The purpose of this post is not a rant its just me making sense of certain things or maybe just contributing my own opinion.

I read a post on BN about the ALUU Killing etc. Click here.

Initially, I read and nodded in  agreement  with some of  the illustration used to highlight or emphasis   the points raised but again I can’t help but think or argue (this might come across ignorant) that it our responsibility to take precautions and be aware of our own safety and environment. Although, you mind your own business trouble still comes and meet you. I belong to many schools of thoughts, one of which is, observe your environment and don’t cross the boundaries.

What do I mean, growing up in Nigeria we hear a lot of stories every day and we are aware that some can be avoided if certain precautions are taken. Due to my upbringing mainly attributed to My awesome Mother, staying out of trouble was not a question it was a way of life, it was a lifestyle. This meant avoiding going to certain places that was or is known as a dangerous place; avoid walking by yourself at certain times e.g. after 5pm in fact Mum never sent us on errands  after certain times.  It also included avoid coming home alone (we were in boarding house most of the time), avoid talking to/with strangers, avoid eating or accepting anything without permission from Mum or a person of authority. Avoid getting into a verbal confrontation with anyone or have dealings with anyone that is not of your calibre (by calibre I mean mind sets or standard of thinking, yes our mental state differ greatly). This meant we rarely associated ourselves with people on our streets except Mum’s friends or people we knew from school. It was our way of life; we lived by it and are accustom to it.

Mum knew everything there was to know about her girls, she communicated with us daily letting us know about the “wishy washy hands of men”. At puberty, it was forbidden to sit on any Uncles legs, before she told me I was already self-conscious I was fast becoming a woman above my peers. We wore tights, singlet’s etc  at tender ages under each outfit (I can’t do without wearing them now). We were encouraged to be decent and walk fast on the streets. We encouraged not begging for food, borrowing clothing’s or borrowing from others; we were to be content with what we had and remain grateful.

 During those days, when we got something from Mum i.e. presents, we would go on our knees to thank her, pray for her and hug her. It was our lifestyle and I still do it occasionally today, during my graduation she really tried and was proud to have raised two grown women singlehandedly with God on our side.  In a nutshell, we emulate Mum and her dealings and I must say I really appreciate the way she brought us up. 

When we were much younger, we lived in block of flats (face me I SLAP YOU, lol am kidding it wasn’t that bad) we shared communal areas such as bathrooms, kitchens etc amongst other people.  Mum was never a gossip you would never catch her talking or gisting with anybody outside her house. In fact, she was much respected(mostly envied due to her conduct)  she minded her own business. She didn't tolerate any bad attitude from others including us.

 She definitely spared the rod on us, I was around 3 or 4 years old when our maid had left us downstairs playing with the only people Mum would recommend to play with. The Maid hadn't fed us our lunch. I was famished, that hunger I couldn't contain it, there was a bowl of “puff puff” or “bonce” (I can’t recall) were outside the neighbours flat, which she sold. I couldn't resist, they were steering at me, calling my name, lol. I probably tried to look for the lady that owned the food stuff, but I don’t think I found her. Anyway I took one and looked at my childhood friend who I offered and she declined, I ate it secretly and I enjoyed it( I knew it was wrong because I hate it secretly and cleaned my mouth too lol).  My childhood friend, (big mouth but thank God for her) told my older sis what happened, and of course my sister will not keep quiet. Our maid eventually came back and we had a nap, (we always napped as children and going to Mayflower didn’t help cos we had naps each afternoon in primary school).

 I  was awakened  by lashes of cane (my Mum rarely hits us but when she does, it means you had done something  bad as in really bad, she hits or should I say flog us only once a year which is a healthy record in my household compared to some people). Going to boarding house and spending time with relatives obviously helped too(i.e. not getting flogged often by Mum). Besides we weren’t exposed to extreme violence in comparison to some other people.

 Back to me, kia Mum  flogged me  ehn and I had to confess I had eaten the food, she asked me why and I told her I was hungry, she blamed the Maid but still I got it bad. Cut long story short, she paid for the stolen “puff puff or bonce”and I never ever stole again.  I was taught before you take, ask politely first.  My perspectives changed dramatically, from then I knew there was consequence for every action if it mean flogging, I will not steal.  If I wanted something, I ask and the person says no “I renew my mind and move on”. Besides, (whilst in boarding house, Mum tried to ensure we were comfortable not to go begging around which she hated but I begged oo kia in fact I had rather picked from the leftovers or floor that steal lol MAYFLOWER times).

Therefore, when I was in school and people were beaten for stealing I didn’t think it was wrong in fact I felt if you hadn’t stolen then surely you wouldn't be beaten(charity begins at home).  I also thought it stealing  was not cool and one’s reputation would be tarnished by it. Obviously, it is not everyone that has the luxury to afford the goods others have but does that justify the stealing?(that greediness in my own opinion,  maliciously eyeing something that you can’t have). Also some of us do not have anything but we still try not to steal and  for some us we simply don’t have anyone to  admonish us or people who could. Beside, some parents  turn  a blind eye or are thieves themselves.  Having said that, there are poor children/ people  with no parents and loved ones and all they  want is to eat something, I will still say  ASK don't steal.  In asking, some  might give more than you hope to steal sef.

 My point: how much do parents invest into the life of their children mentally or children in their care?  How much time do we take to talk or communicate with our children or people in our care? People take things yeah I get,  but stealing big or small stuff and keeping them I find very unlawful and unkind to the other  fellow that has suffered to purchase the products to start with (although some people might have stolen  the goods that is now stolen, call it law of karma or what goes around comes around etc). I don’t know about you but am provoked to think many of the things we do or chose to do especially when we have a choice is why do we do it? (Life is a learning process and journey of discovery nonetheless).

 Although I don’t encourage deaths or killing of another human except for exception reasons of which are many (Jesus preached repentance and forgiveness). I have been raised in a society where consciously there are consequences for every bad actions and it is said that "charity begins at home". If they don’t teach you or train you well @ home then you will be trained outside. This mentality has stuck with me and I must say during the times people stole in school I have felt they deserve the punishment admonished (although in some cases extreme).  At the same time it is assumed the punishment is a lesson that will teach the child not to misbehave any longer and also a lesson to other potential thieves.

I think as individuals we should be self-disciplined and try to avoid issues if we can and live by responsible codes of conduct. It does not mean things will not happen to us or we won’t jam lunatics in form of humans but we need to maybe take deep breaths and think about our attitudes and dealing in response to the situation.

 One of my purposes in reaching this new age is prayerfully seeking wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I have never been hungrier for the wisdom Solomon prayed for. I want it, I need it and I want to live by it and do right by it.

Wisdom is a great blessing and I join my Mum in this aspect cos that woman is blessed with divine wisdom which I yearn for and pray for, spirit of discernment and ability to do what is right and pleasing to God.

God will continue to admonish us in way to live right and advocate justice. JESUS BEST.


  1. Great post. I don't remember ever stealing anything myself and being punished for it but I was always taught that stealing is wrong from when I was a little child. I don't even feel right taking things from family members without their permission.

    Whenever I find myself in a situation where I need something and the owner is not around to gain permission from I always try to call them on the phone. If it's a family member I will use the item and make sure I inform him/her as soon as I see him/her. If it's not a family member most of the time I just don't use the item or if I do I again make sure I tell the person and if it's something that needs replacing I make sure I do so.

    1. Hello Jelony, thanks for visiting...I agree ask and if not available let the person know... well said.

      I think it is also a conscious/conscience thing to be aware of.. worse of all some people will steal and lie...? I dont like that, makes me feel the person has evil intention..

  2. I don’t know what to say other than your mum taught you well.

    I think more parents during the 70’s, 80s and 90s instilled values than some of the Y2k parents are doing…my thoughts oh and please some Y2k parents have excelled far and above.

    During the former years, parents were more involved in their children’s life. These days, I think the pursuit of money, the desire to provide the “best things in life” has limited the time that should be spent with children and therefore some parents can’t pass across the values learnt during our time to them. The economy is not helping matters and the western world has also infiltrated and widened our understanding of our roles as parents.

    We were taught to be wary of strangers, tread with caution, listen and show respect to elders, be self dependent, rise above challenges and never say never.

    1. Thank you Sykik, she did a great job oo. But i think some 70', 80's or 90's parents too have issues. Whilst in school most of the people that stole and lie were in their 80's and 90's so what happened to the discipline?

      Anyhoo, it is not only parents its also individuals too using their common sense.

      I agree people are busy chasing DONKEYS as my pastor will say and the basic upbringing is lost in the process.

  3. Your mum taught you well, and thank God you took home-training, cos not everyone accepts home-training.

    As for the ALUU killings, everyone, including the police at last, has come to know that those guys are not robbers.

  4. GOD rebukes those HE loves, and the bible says SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD....i believe in spanking really good, because i got my own fair share from my parents..and it instilled some morals and principle in me...STEALING is what every parent hates most!

    As for the Aluu victims, my heart bleed and cry for them anytime i come across it like now....if a child falls sick and dies, it is a different matter entirely, the parents would accept it as nature and heal gradually but to be killed brutally and names tarnished is like stabbing a knife in the heart of the parents that the wound will never heal completely. Their souls rest in peace and the murderers will never find peace!

    The pressure meet the needs of the family, have made many parents to leave the upbringing of the children in the hands of nannies and is never a win-win situation. The GRACE of GOD we seek, if not....

  5. I think I had the same experience as you growing up, though I believe I took something from our own kitchen, probably meat. That was not allowed either and it was my dad that dished the cane. Thank God for their investment in us, glad too they had limits that did not cross into abuse. I pray I can use some of their lessons when I become a parent too.

  6. Thank God you took the home training dished out.

    Like Mee said, parents face so many pressures when it comes to bringing up children nowadays - and not everyone has a good support network

    However, a lot of parents nowadays think discipline is not 'cool'

  7. Came across your blog from Simply Mee's. Absolutely loved this post. I truly admire the sort of values your mum placed on you guys and agree very much with them.

    Have learnt a few tips to use on my own kids in future.

    You sound way wiser and mature than someone in their early twenties, really cool. I attribute that to wisdom gotton from home as well. Off to read some of your previous posts.

  8. i love this so much, growing up wasnt really easy for me because my mother made sure we learned the most important valuees(that was really tough) Thanks for the lovely write was worth my time.


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