Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Life in Stage ~ My Story~My Life~My Man Cont...

Dear Blogsville Readers,

The continuation....

So  I have quite an interesting family, before actually seeing Jonathan on the day, My Dad had been talking to me about studying abroad and going to my Aunt Joan, we refer to her as Aunt J. Aunt J is mum best friend from school and they have been so close ever since, she is like mum twin. I got my name from her, only because Mum asked her she wanted a nice English name for her unborn child, and Joan happened to be the one she was talking to about it. She suggested why not call her my name, after all it is a nice name and its means God is Gracious.. And she added, according to Mum, you know God has been gracious to us since the war. Hence, Mum called me Joan...

I apologise for deviating, so yes Dad was very adamant for  me to study abroad and  attain a  qualification in Medicine  in order to be qualified as a Doctor. To be honest, that was not my passion, I know I bring home the good grades and teachers /personal tutors had recommended to  Dad that I am a strong individual who is capable of studying medicine and doing well at it. So yeah, they chose my future career without consulting me and how I felt about it..

 It was on a bright Saturday in Enugu, when Dad summoned me into the lounge and told me that I would leave for America in 2 weeks, so I should get started with packing and sort all I need. I didn't get a chance to protest at all. You see,  my Dad is a military man, he grew up in the army he was recruited just at age 16. He fought in the Nigeria Baifra War and worked for the Nigerian Army too. Hence, the strictness, whatever Dad says goes no arguing, no talking back, no  nothing... 

I am the only that Dad is actually proud of... My two older Sisters and Bro did not make any effort at all. I will tell you abit about myself, I am an introvert and because of that I am incredibly observant.
I know everyone's character and the secrets in my household and I am quick to tell how they will react or respond to any situation. May I also say I know of everyone's weakness too.

I will start with my Dad, as I mentioned earlier he is very strict and very direct, he is also loving, he gives us the girls hugs and handshakes my brother only during Christmas and New Year and I am actually glad he does this. Dad younger brother is also in the Military but never never does he show love like my Dad does.. So we are all grateful for the once a year hug and peck on the cheeks. Although, Dad is direct, he is generous and a good listener too, he offers good advice and helps out with homework etc. But he has a weakness, he hates the dark and he sleeps with a rod (I mean an iron rod, specially made for him) and talks to himself (as if he is begging for something). He sleeps with the lights on and never never ever stays in a dark room. He just hates the dark but nobody actually thought it was weird, because he tells us that light is essential in life, but I felt it was weird.  You know how I knew,Dad only goes to bed in his own separate room when everyone is sleeping. So one day,I couldn't sleep and I mean I could not sleep, so I decided to go downstairs this was when I was 6, I went alongside the corridors and the light in his room was on, I thought ok. I went about my business to get a cup of water,  I started this when I was five. I feel thirsty in the night, apparently it is a condition... (I doubt it, cos I have stopped now), most people in the household are aware  I wake up at a particular time to drink water (I hate bottled water, I just hate it.. so my water has to be fresh from the source). This night was like every normal night, I went downstairs, got the water, and was going to my room and I saw something that looked weird in my dad's room (I have never noticed this before, so I think all this started when I was about  6 years old). I went to check and that was when I knew he had issues, so here is a grown strict man sweating uncontrollably, holding  a rod with both hands, with his knees on the floor and begging for his life... 

I stood there for what seemed like hours, wondering why he was crying, sweating and begging for his life. I left the place, I didn't tell anyone anything.. The next day, I woke up again not for water this time, but to wee, and I remembered what I saw, I went towards my Dad room and I saw him again doing the exact same thing. I must say I have seen him do this for more than 12 years  since I was 6 (begging, holding a rod and sleeping with the light on). I knew it was weird and I was bothered but I didn't know who to tell in the family because they all seem to have issues. 

My eldest sister, Chinyere, was practically the street slut, every man in the street claimed to have slept with her. I confirmed this, whilst I was around 10,  Chinyere was 18 and relaxing with her friends (So I thought). All I kept on hearing were  females and male laughter with the ohh's  ahh's and  all sorts. I peeped through the door and I couldn't believe what I saw, I carried myself back to my room and wished I had not been curious..(Btw if you are wondering whether mum and dad were around or the other siblings, No, they weren't). I was the only one around the family household (remember our maids do not stay in the family home, they have their own home). Besides,  people generally think am not aware so they do what they feel like.. I myself do not make effort to make them think am aware, I play along to the fact that they think am dumb, stupid and all sorts, they refer to me as or tease me with.. (I knew where I was going and I knew I was smart).

My second sister, she is just so rude and insultive. Although, she is smart and yes she helped me when I was much younger with my Maths and English. She messes up during exams and gets low grades. She has a condition called Dyslexia. She is able to understand but she finds it difficult to write it down. And she gets rude and defensive to cover up and pretend  be to tough. She dropped out of school  and willingly chose to leave home just before I turned 16 to marry a dude. My Dad hated the idea but she made up her mind and she left. 

My Bro Charles Chukuemaka Uzo, the only boy in the family. I tell you he is nice, friendly, polite and cool. He is a queer. He just loves dudes, but wait for it, he did not know this himself at the time, I actually knew it for him. He has a friend that came to our  home  then every summer holidays after term to chill with him. This particular time, he slept over, my Mum told me to get Charles and as I was about to knock, I peeped through the hole, and guess what I saw...Charles was sniffing his friend yellow shirt and was doing something nasty at the same time. (Do you know why I peep before I knock, because in our households everyone has a secret and knocking startles everyone.. trust me I have been shouted at numerous times even beaten for knocking and opening the door). So, yes Charles plays tough guy and plays bad boy, not doing well in studies, smoking and jamming with the guys. But comes home and sniffs on his best friend  shirt whilst doing something nasty to it... (How rude)...

My two younger sisters, are so adorable,  am 3 years older than them. They are actually normal expect that they do stuff with each other and say they are practicing how to kiss.. I caught them once and asked what they were doing, they said we are playing a game.. Kiss and Tell. I was like ok, tell me more, but before I could join them, I must kiss both of them full on.. I asked them where they got this from and they said from TV. I was so perplexed and thought (this family is definitely crazy).

Now to the woman of the house, my Mum, she is so sweet, so supportive, so kind, and well mannered, church goer (am sure she knows she married a psycho). But, she never never never pays attention to anything, it is all about pleasing people. She is just so concerned about what people will say, so she must attend this party, attend that party and attend that club.. It is just so draining...
I knew she was a people pleaser,  the day, she told us off in front of her friends, most especially me.. Her words, Joan look at you, you are so boring, go and get make-up and do something with yourself and look as beautiful as your sisters. I looked around and just went upstairs, it was like the 100th time she said  it that month in front of her friends. I mean, she told  me in the past, in her own space, how she loves me and how she likes my plain look and how I am a good girl and I make her so proud. But in front of her friends or relatives she switches her tone and makes me look like a weirdo (I am not surprised all our cousins thinks am the weirdest one in the family.. if only they knew), and not just me she does to all the workers too, very rarely does she try it on my older siblings or in front of her husband my Dad, because they knew her. But,you will see her being bossy showing  off her authority in front of other people (so called prestigious friends).

These  are my family, they all  present a perfect family outlook and smile and portray happy family but deep inside they all have issues beyond measure. All I do is just observe and watch how they change into chameleon each time people come around. (Btw when we have guest Dad sleeps in Mum room with the light off but am sure he clings close to mum). I knew this because every time they slept in the same room, mum always says my arm aches, you rested too much on my arm..). I assume he had to hold on to something...

After that dinner encounter, I didn't see Jonathan again,  I sort of saw him drive dad into the compound but I am yet to set my eyes on him like I did before. I went for America, and I was glad I did. I told Aunt Joan  what I thought of Dad plans and she asked me if I wanted to do it, I said no. I hated medicine, I only did well at school because it was what they expected of me. She asked me what my dream career was and I said Drama. She said alright, drama  it is.. 
About Aunt Joan, She fled for America just slightly after the Biafra in 1970, her husband then a doctor told her to to flee if anything happened to him She did exactly that, he died and she didn't wait a second or attend the burial she took off with her two girls. Aunt J, settled in Chicago, worked as a maid  for  a retired Military Caucasian Man, who later married her and they lived together.

Hence, the mentality do whatever pleases you my child. Despite, agreeing to the arrangement Dad made, she said I will not force anyone to do what they do not want to do. (Considering I was an adult, I went along with my plan and that was when I actually knew what it was like to be happy).. I was actually happy, I felt free and    complete. It did not end there, I had to be real with myself and I knew the pain it would cause Dad if he knew that I broke his heart. This is  why I am grateful today Jonathan stood by me. He actually helped me through and I cannot forget the love of my life. The guy that was willing to put everything on the line for me. 

Please stay tuned for the Next Series..

God is love,  love yourself and on others too.


  1. Its a really weird family. I wrote a poem about such called Family Portrait. You can read it via this link
    Waiting eagerly for the next installment
    Thanks for stopping by my blog

  2. love this blog girl! I love seeing young woman like me standing up for what she believes and not being ashamed of it! I am following!

  3. Awww thanks ChicBrie. That means a lot... Pls do follow.

    @ilola, I agree with you its a weird family... with alot of weird stuff going on. But there is still hope. Thanks for the interest. U are welcome.

  4. Interesting series, just went over to read the beginning. keep writing.

  5. Mmmh. Waiting for the next. Well done

  6. @ Myne thanks hun... I will definitely update real soon. Thank for checking out my blog.

    @Os... thanks and u will enjoy the next one... thank u for stopping by...


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