Notions

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Hello PEOPLE,

Shout out to the blogsville family…

Thank you to old and new followers, readers, silent and non-silent visitors  lol.xx

Not exactly feeling great at the moment after reading one of the blogsville fam post (P.E.T. PROJECT)I really don’t know what to say which is very unusual, but sometimes I find silence is not such a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you don’t care but it just seems right at the moment, nonetheless a word of encouragement is better most times.

I pray for grace for us all to live and fulfil our purpose on this EARTH. AMEN. As long as we have achieved purpose then it’s not so bad, in as much as it hurts our family and even the departed, at least we have done our part. (Although, achieving purpose is questionable and possibly subjective/ debatable).

I have been doing a lot of thinking, actually I have done a lot of thinking and probably still doing. I think I have come to an understanding if not a conclusion that many notions/ideas are quite interesting if not alarming in some cases.

Notion1: The idea that some people will do anything ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to get married is one that I find not only amusing but mentally disturbing. To starts off with, the human attention we crave for i.e. partner, spouse etc is normal but some of us are extreme because not only do we want it all i.e. a spouse, children  etc etc we will do anything or are willing to do ANTHING  within our POWER to get it.. WHY? Is my question, is that the ONLY thing we should be striving for? Seriously.  It got me thinking, so after all that shouting, prayers, fasting, visiting pastors for deliverance, meeting with witch doctors, binding the devil, doing online/offline dates all in the name of finding the ONE. What if the “one” in quote comes and he dies tomorrow, what if?? What do we do then? Or better still he comes and his manhood is chopped OFF, (Godforbid) but am sure there are people with stories like these oo, or how about if he has AIDS or she has  a disease or something…  For me, I think the craziness is becoming too much and concerning because it seems to me some of us are making these mere mortals our gods well prominent gods. 

Note:  Am not saying we should not daydream or desire for a partner, but am saying the motives is questionable and the things/sacrifices some of us are willing to make is just scary.

The fact that some of us think our partners have or should I say have   supernatural powers to maybe cure our loneliness or issues or maybe help fill the VOID is not only alarming, or disturbing. It is PURELY IMPOSSIBLE and so UNFAIR on the other person. Why: should anyone be responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing in the case of a partner, why should a mere man/woman have such a BURDEN that they are made to live and breathe YOU? Lol Nobody in this planet can fulfil you if you are not FULFILLED AS A PRESON. WHY: As humans we are constantly changing and growing and what we like yesterday can become today’s issue.  Besides, the world around us is constantly changing putting pressures on us to match up to certain standards and affluence to an extent. So if you aren’t fulfilled NOW, surely any other forms of fulfilment will be TEMPRORARY and it will be back to SQUARE ONE again. 

To elaborate, we are selfish beings and we will always want although some of us are EXTREME, it does not take away the fact that we are always needy.  So THERFORE, how can we place so much hopes and responsibilities on that ONE PERSON that is a mere mortal,  that can die anyway or RUN AWAY when it becomes too much. I think we should just aim to keep working on us and let it be o jare.

TO BE COntinued.....

EACH TO THEIR OWN.

God is good in the good times, bad times  and ugly ones. 

The Marriage Advisor !!!

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 Hello Sweet cakes,

Yes you.. lol.

So my weekend was fun,  packed with loads of bonding with Mum (she came to spend some time with me). Phew, it is not easy running around cooking, getting food, getting told off for not coming my hair (its mine oh). Also  I must indulge in a conversation I rather just not,  plus I had to teach her how to use  the new touchscreen phone she upgraded to. WOW. Its deep/intense. I love my Mum although the emotional blackmail to get what she wants is sooo not fair but I guess it is what it is. We had small fun sha, I told her (future hubby) needs to be prepared cos I foresee you becoming more demanding lol.. She did compliment me, blessed and prayed for me and my older sis. I have been told my hubby is a lucky man ohh, he will be enjoying my cooking (since a good food is a way to a man’s heart etc something along those lines). Lol. Surely, I have more to me than cooking, to which she agreed. Hehe, she is jokes.

Back to the topic of the post, I met with an Aunty (we are not related, just call her AUNTY out of respect). She has a business and sells goodies, bags, dresses, suits etc all sourced from Italy (home of fashion).  Will upload some her of goodies soon on my blog. X. Moving on, I was supposed to help her with marketing and she ended up telling me more stuff than I bargained for.

Nonetheless Aunty F, started with her gist, how we got talking about marriage I don’t know but it was through a conversation and it goes.

Note: this lady is well described as Nitty Gritty, she no send she go talk am as it is.. lol… so you have an idea who she is. Love you SIMPLY MEE.

Aunty F: No marriage is perfect. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is not happy and is lying. She argues some people in church should not be giving advice if they haven’t gone through the same experience. She gave an analogy, in the UK, they employ people that have/share similar experiences but have risen above situations to counsel others that are going through it. A case of a rape victim, it is likely that sometimes the victim is suppressed/oppressed by the reoccurrence of the situation.  Hence, the counsellor with their experience and techniques can counsel and encourage the victim because they have an idea of what it is like and know what to say. Therefore, some people in church should not give advice in a matter that doesn’t concern e.g. marriage.

I don’t know if I agree with some of her views but I saw where she came from when she mentioned some people do not tell it as it is. Too much holy holy… I guess.

Some of her points were, I think women should be told what to avoid in a man through real life examples.

Aunty F points:

Any man that does not know how to play with a child that comes running towards him or don’t know how to show love i.e. cuddle. HE WONT CUDDLE HIS OWN.

A man that likes to dress, i.e. fashionable, and everything he wears must match all the time. Be sure if you marry such man there will be rivalry and competition in the house. He will always want to outdo his wife and is jealous when his wife buys new clothes etc.

A man that has too many friends, BEWARE. One or two close friends are ok but too many then it becomes too much. This is because his friends will talk rubbish and I when he does mention his wife and her ways, they will be keen to spice the story up and offer useless advice.

A man that loves to PARTY; RUN, because he won’t change for you, it is already in his blood. By the time you marry such man, you will find that you are left babysitting the children all the time. When you do decide to confront him, he will not only remind you but tell you squarely, that you knew this was him before you said YES. “Old habits die hard”.

After courting a man for 8 years and a disappointment. She crossed out her lists and simply wrote RESPONSBILE HUSBAND which she says she has now.

As for me, I questioned her about the 8 years relationship,  why it took so LONG  and yet she missed it? (I am not particularly FOR long relationships past 3yrs or more). She said she was in denial, she felt, where will she start from. She mentioned that they had arranged everything and the day or week to the D DAY, he broke the news he wants OUT. Well, herself and her family ate the cake and enjoyed lool. She is jokes, despite the disappointment she chose to rise above it. It was if she saw it coming, i.e. the disappointment from the guy.

I have always said what you see now with your bf/gf now, multiply  the habits you can't tolerate now by  100 not 10  (when you two marry)  IF YOU CANT HACK IT NOW, PLS RECONSIDER your options cos ermmm it is your own marriage only. If he/she  is violent, no more excuses, if he/she is a cheat no more excuses, if he/she lacks respects no more excuses,  if he/she lacks moral and values no more excuses, if he/she is not fully committed no more excuses.  In  a nutshell, if you know you are living in denial then it’s time to wake up and “smell the burnt okra”. Lol.

But, sha there is nothing prayers can't not do.

I think her advise/points applies to both sexes.

So what do you think?

God is LOVE......

This is for my MUM....

                                         Randomness I enjoy @ work.

                 

The Last WEEKEND....

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Hello Everyone,

How are we?? I hope we are well.

I would like to apologise for the last post. You see, I planned on blogging on a topic at the time. I intended on saving  the title it as a draft as to remind me,  only to mistakenly click the publish button. Anyway, that blog post is coming soon). In the mean time, I will keep you lovelies updated about other stuff. Thank you SIMPLY MEE it was a blog error.. xxx


Ok, so what happened last weekend..... well, I went to London for the weekend for a family's friend wedding. It was strictly by invitation only nah, I was suppose to go with Mum but she didn't end up coming so I went with one of my fav Londoners Jelony. Off we went to one of the posh areas in London,  Bayswater, Porchester. Nice venue, nice food, nice music etc. It was niceee.. Until,well rewind.

Briefly about me, I have a very interesting mindset and character. Most people that know me mostly see my one side of me and think they know me. These includes my talkactive (yes am a talker), my constant  opinions and my expressive attitude and (uncompromising principles and standards).. Now, in my head there are things I see about me, (am posh).lool.... (i am quirky), (am intelligent) and (i can be razz). Now, the side most people tend to sometimes see is my razz side and that tends to come out when am DANCING. Hehe...

Told you once I went to MAYFLOWER, that school is one of the raziest school mehn, dont mind the fake posh people heheh. Mayflower can turn any posh person into RAZZ classic. To be fair, RAZZ has  grades..  For some, you can tell straight from when they start talking, some when they start eating, lol etc etc while some are through other things. Now, some people are generally not razz on a normal day i.e. loud or attention seeker but can be once they are drunk or tipsy etc. My own oh, its dancing  and the beats just gets me, and yes its the throwing of the waist in the air lol, the bend down low, old school (shina peters moves lol). All of this razzness I caught from MAYFLOWER and it never left. I am not shy, (mostly not). I usually dont care about what people think.. Truth is, I cant be bothered to care.

Anyways, on the day, myself and my friend jel who loves to  dance btw, started to throw way (shhh, she dances oyinbo dance lool.. am kidding love u hun.). She can sure move, in comparison, we both dont care about anyone watching, we are expressive maybe mine is alittle too much sha, lol. YES we are AWESOME dancers.  MJ has nothing on us.. seriously.

OK, whilst dancing, coupled with the fact my (tailor just completely messed up my style). I really looked like a goody two shoes (which I am) but don't like people to know that. I wanted a high waisted trousers with a nice fitted top, what she sowed was not what I asked for. The outfit was suppose to be stylish and flattering. Instead it was completely opposite, not stylish and not flattering, but I had  to wear to the wedding because I felt it was rude not to wear the aso-ebi. She rushed the outfit, hence the crap outcome(we will analyse her later lol).

Back to the dance floor, so  me and jel rocking the dance floor away, showing them how its done  with the live music. At first, I was not feeling it, but after a while I got into the groove and I started shaking my arms, shoulders, legs, waist etc etc(I bet I lost 1inch after rigorous dance boi lol). After dancing for a while, I went back to our main table, to rest and drink some water. I looked side ways, and saw  a dude on my left, signalling me to come over. AH, ah, at first (my first reaction, they have started again ohh). He was on the keyboard part of the live band, he did it again and this time (I ignored it completely). I went back on the dance floor and danced some more (I LOVE DANCING). Azonto, alanta ohh, etc me I can like to shake to them all. Thank God for the grace too. So, here we go again, back to the table, this time myself and Jelony. Whilst at the table,  the same keyboard dude beckoned again to come over, this time I pretended it was not me that it was my friend nah. She was looking HOT that day oh...
But on a serious note I hated the signal and I find it degrading at the same time. Now, Jelony didnt know who was beakoning but once she knew, she insisted I went, that dude was not bad looking. Chia, I said NO, pls am not going anywhere. You wont believe this babe was dragging me, as in a whole me,  it was so funny. I kept saying NO NO, but she wont give up, she insisted I should go and speak to him. Before this mentioned earlier before the wedding, she wanted me to meet someone, but I personally didn't just want to meet anybody nah).

Brief explanation, when it comes to certain dudes am at alert, they are alot of opportunist out there that are hoping and hoping and I always make sure am not part of their hope. lol. Personally, I already have my kind of dude I would like to approach me in my mind and with my RAZZ dance, I think some might find it intimidating or put off (am assuming). Not to sound as if am degrading myself, is not like I dance like a bush girl NO ohh. I am a good dancer. Anways, I also dont like it when anyone just anyone think they can just call me with one silly finger lol and ask me to cover over because you want to talk to me, I dont care what you are doing, pls dont call me like that. NAH.. i dont like it. Thirdly, it will not go anyway and truth be told I feel uncomfortable around some people that I can just sense from afar that NO OH. NOT MY TYPE.
Yes we all have preferences.

So, my defensive side was immediately up including my guards. Unknown to Jel, it not like I was running away from the dude cos I was shy but because I really didnt want to talk to him(am not shy like that). I didnt want to be  that person he would have the opportunity to talk rubbish with and I am usually RIGHT. She insisted ohh, no joke, she dragged me all the way am telling you. I even tried to dodge by dancing on the dance floor, she  still came to drag me. I eventually gave in, so I went to talk to the fuji keyboardist, and as I  believed, he said the things I would have predicted.

FK: Why are you running from me.
Me: (Unmentally prepared to be rude) replied, I am not running away.
FK: Can I have your number.
Me: Oh, I dont have it on me, let me go and check my bag (opportunity to run away).

I knew it, it my number ko my number ni..lol. I carried on dancing  and tried to avoid him. There was Jel again, pushing me and I just flipped on her that she should leave me  alone "I DONT WANT". As I was throwing yanga with jel,  I didnt know the Fuji keyboardist was behind me(the live band had rounded up). Next, I knew someone just grabbed my hand, instantly I yanked my hand off his grip, (you see, only an opportunist can  do that).

FK: You said you were coming to collect the number (something along those lines).
Me:  I looked away and was very uncomfortable too.
FK:So why did you lie? (with a yoruba  accent)
Me: I didn't feel comfortable telling you the truth(in my head, what is this rubbish).
I normally dont lie, but sometimes in situations like this, I always make up a story, either my phone is not with  me or  that my friend has it etc because some wont give up.. araggh.. infact it got to the point where I just give my email to the ones that refuses to give up and most times, I say NO I dont want to give you my number.
FK: I would like to get to know you. You danced really well.
Me: Thank you, very flattering.
FK: I am impressed, can I have your number.
Me: (hesitant) I have a boyfriend.
FK: It doesnt matter, I wont see  you again and I would like to stay in contact.
Me: ahhh it matters, I have a bf and I dont think its fair (abeg JESUS is my bf oh).

Well, I thought I had lost him after that, myself and jel danced abit more  and it was time to go home. I was walking down the stairs when I saw his pink top(thanks to my photogenic brain). Boom, I ran out of the hall,  more like I flew  out of the HALL, lol. No, I walked really fast . I was praying to God  that  he wont follow me cos I will be really cross.

I got out and I knew jel was behind but had to wait in a corner for her. She eventually showed up, the dude approached her and   mentioned  how he tried and blah blah and wrote his number down. I told her beforehand not to give my number to him, am glad she didnt. We got on the bus, she couldnt stop laughing,  and I said to her that she  didnt know me oh.. I dont like dude asking me for my number.

In a nutshell, she mentioned  I was being immature for running away and it would be polite to at least speak to him. The thing is talk or no talk it does not guarantee politeness. I  also felt it was not rude to ignore him and I have a choice not to talk to him. Besides, I cant stop at every call, at every signal to speak to a dude and I dont consider that rude(except if I know its a genuine matter, how would I know? leave that to me). If I know you have no hidden agenda, trust me I am as friendly as ever but once my spirit feels uncomfortable or I sense something then its a NO(whether or not am right).(abit of contradiction sha).  I suppose to an extent I tried communicating this with Jelony but I ended talking gibberish because a) I couldn't communicate/articulate what was  in my head  properly and b) I think its harder for some people to understand why I  react the I way  do.

I remember saying to her over the weekend, that I dont like guys like that lol. What I meant by that was, I am not that kind of girl that is always around dudes or feels comfortable to just allow any dude to talk to me or come into my zone like that.Even if I like the guy, that is it, I just like him nothing more, lol ( will blog about it sometime). It takes a while for me to think oh this dude or guy  has no hidden agenda  before I allow myself to relax  and jam my hype. It also takes me a while to feel comfortable around guys  and the only way that I can feel comfortable around a guy/dude  is a) If I  knew the dude before in the past or someone  I know, knows them. You get the drift, there is a link, cos I can always go and ask the person for info.lol.  b) if they behave themselves.  I dont become friends with random strangers esp on the street. It irks me alot.

That is the end of the story.

Thanks for reading.

God is love....xoxoxox

P.S. I was gonna upload a pic of me and jel at the wedding tried my best it didnt happen. Hopefully if she

emails me a version will do  it next time.. xxx

Back in FULL MOTION......

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Hello Sweet people,

Have YOU MISSED ME?? heheh you cant lie ohh, you have, you have, you so have.. I missed you plenty too..

There is so much to say, I have so many posts to write about.

First, Thank God I have rounded up -ish...lol... (but I am free for a veryyyy long time but not so free, I can make more time to BLOG). YAY..

Secondly, I doing more consultancy with my marketing skills now..YAY. well, I hope to put into good use (more on that in a future post).

Thirdly, I miss all my bloggess so I will be doing alot more catching up...(well hopefully, I will).

Fourthly, I want to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to all that  came to visit and asked about my well being that meant alot, and it showed you are truly a friend... xxxx (I wont mention names, but you know who you are, SWEET HUGS and blessings coming your way..).

Overall, I am thankful to God, JESUS and Holy Spirit for seeing us through,even to this month of September and many more months. We  are not  special or lucky to be alive, it is by grace, mercy and favour and I pray it will not end.
 In fact, recently I have been thinking, is dying a disadvantage?  I felt this way based on the prayer points expressed in church. For instance, if they want to get you to pray "Some people didn't wake up this morning and some people saw this year but not alive" So pray and thank God. Instead of actually just thanking  God for my life and family, I pray for the souls of the departed, because I feel like what right do I have to be here, also thank God for the lives they have  lived and their families  to receive comfort. I pray not only to thank God for my life but to live a life of purpose to myself and others.

Anyhoo, enough of my mindset, I have a very interesting, peculiar mindset so I question things alot not because I like to find faults but because I simply feel we sometimes follow traditions and do things in that way.

Back to the post, so be expecting a lot more current posts from me, a lot more romantic stories and life lesson stories etc. And oh, there is this phrase some people say "Whats new"? and I say nothing.lol but actually there is something new.. God mercies are new everyday. Happy smiles.  But,  I think that  the question or phrase is just so there, alot of things are  new with me, i.e. have gained more weight, which I like but dont like because lol.. let just leave it. Lets just say I hate shopping for new stuff that starts with B. FULL STOP. argghhh

 I will step out now and hope to blog more.

Have an awesome favoured week.

XXX

God is able  and can do abundantly and exceedingly more than we ever hope, wish or dream of.....

He and SHE SAYS YES I DO !!..

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Hello Everyone,

Ok, so am on a blog roll..YAY... be glad ohh... happy smiles.

This is it,  sometimes there are certain things we are just not told about marriages or its sacrifices. Some of us are left thinking it is what we experienced in courtship that we will experience in marriage. But in courtship most people are on their best behaviour to woo us and us to woo them. If you happen to be with someone that is real and opens up to us. superawesome...if you are not with such person, it not soo superawesome. Either way, nothing prepares you more than reality.. You begin to see traces of not soo superawesome in that (superawesome courtship) and sometimes you begin to notice  the superawesome in that (not so awesome courtship). DO you get it???

Well it means, some of us we grow to be ourselves with the person we love and cohabitate with whilst  some of  us might actually struggle to share our space and freedom despite the lengthy and great courtship. There is no fast rule. I think its important to  ANTICIPATE,  FACE REALTY AND  PREPARE MENTALLY all by the grace of GOD.

There is a saying I  know  "you truly know someone when you live with them".

Well to paint a realistic picture, that day you both say YES I DO. It means you are saying to all the anticipated and unanticipated situations that could possibly occur in marriage. Joblessness,  illness, inlaws., loss etc.

You are saying YES I DO, to the  annoying, funny, interesting, challenging, disgusting, uproar, sweet, romantic, irritating, jaw screeching, relaxing, comfortable, emotions running high, I  will die for you any day  moments that will appear in different circumstances.

You are saying YES I DO, to the real person, their ups, downs, happy, not so happy, moody, not so moody, exciting, not so exciting, gives attention, withdraws attention, wants to communicate, but doesn't want to,  understands it but sometimes clueless, listens but doesn't listen, keeps making mistakes, keeps making excuses etc moments.

BASICALLY,  WE are saying YES I DO, to EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY ROCK AND ENHANCE THE MARRIAGE.

Its never easy to say YES I DO when we come face to face with reality. Its important that  the person we say YES I DO to,  are worth all the energy, efforts, time, stress, emotions,  pain, fear and LOVE.

P.S. I am not married oh and never have been but its amazing the ministration I get from the Holy Spiriee. I like to think one day I will have a marriage where I can discuss openly the dynamics of our relationships and commitment.I think its AMAZING to discuss openly about the expectations. I love marriage and I think its amazing that  God gave humans the ability,  for two people to desire to make  a decision to be with each other come rain and sunshine, to be good to each other, encourage each other, develop each other, fulfill purpose together etc.

Besides, I like to think with permission and agreement from Hubby, that we will use our marriage as a platform to educate and inform people about why we made the decision to say YES I DO, what we have come to learn and still learning about marriage etc.. I love learning and developing and I think as humans you can never get enough of it...

God is LOVE, and we should aim to love on ourselves and love others too.. Its can be hard sometimes but thank God for grace.. hehehe

xxxx

Spur of the MOMENT......post.

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Hello Beautiful people,

Thank you for the wonderful comment on my last post. Its nice to feel the love..........HUGS.

 I specially welcome new followers and greetings to old followers.

As usual, I do random post on my fb and this is a copied version of what I wrote on there. xxxx



So  does it mean that once the HUBBY SAYS YES, he will not be attracted to another WOMAN EVER?

Likewise does it mean once wifey  says YES, she will not be attracted to another DUDE?

ahhhh u are living in mugu planet if that the case..

HUMANS emotions are  fleeting. We are dynamic in nature and  we are  product of our environment. It  means we are influenced by various factors be it family, religion, education, media etc.  We are generally unpredictable, and  the more time we spend time with  people on our level the more we take a liking to them.

 ATTRACTION is usually a process and it  sometimes  takes time to manifest.  ATTRACTION does not mean you LOVE THE PERSON.  It just means they tickle ur taste buds. In the case of married couple, ITS IMPORTANT TO RECOGNISE why you are attracted to someone else and DEAL WITH . Also communicate it to your spouse.

Attraction does not mean you have to leave your partner and go around cheating. IT MEANS DEALING WITH THE ISSUE, kill the  thoughts, renew your mind and avoid situations that will encourage awkwardness...

IS IT EASY.. HECK NO.. it cant be,  nothing is easy in this life jor... but NO MORE EXCUSES..... its not only a matter of binding the devil, it a matter of praying for wisdom and applying measures and boundaries.

God is love and love on yourself and others too.

P.S. You are welcome to add, oppose and add lol..xxxx

Quick Post.

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Hellooooooooooooooooooooo Everybody,

I know, I know,  I have been terrible, no updates in like three weeks or more that is unlike me, most esp when I mentioned this year will have more regular posts.

I have missed blogging, blogsville family and I know some of us have missed me too (raises eyebrow).lol.

So here is me saying I AM SORRY for the long silence oh... NO VEX. PELE. HUGS AND MORE HUGS. Can you feel it?? well am giving you a warm, fresh hug. xxx

Thank you to all that came to check up on me.. me I felt important ohh. Simple Mee thank you my adopted Aunty for checking up on me always..LOVE..XXX

Quite a lot of things have happened really but my silence was mainly due to busy schedule.

 NEW THINGS that has happened to me so far:

I got a new job and as ever am grateful to God and to all that gave me encouragement in my last post, am grateful.. xxx. (I join my faith with as many as are believing God for one thing or the other, you will have every reason to rejoice and enjoy the blessing). AMEN.

I crushed on someone... YES OHH.. Looks like am finally moving on.. azonto remix....lol... I went for a wedding in London...yelz oh. it was fun. So I met an old school friend (well not really a friend, it was a dude that was very polite and we were  both civil to each other in school  but never kept in touch). I was surprised to see him actually.  I stayed at my friend's Jelony  apartment, her  flatmate a DUDE, invited couple of his friends over. So that was how I saw him. and he was very nice (I dont remeber him being very nice nice like that  but then again he was alot reserved then and he is still now). Anyway, I came out of the room to chuck some ice-cream package away. I was planning on avoiding the dudes right? (I can be antisocial sometimes, coversface). As I stepped out to the kitchen, I stepped into the dude. He was like (hey, with my name pronounced in  one strong BRITISH accent), anyhoo, I didnt remeber his, so I called him tobi or somethimg. But we gave other some warrrrrmmmmm hug..lol. #renewmind#.  We talked for a bit and caught up, I decided to stay after all, sha we all had a really good conversation. In the end, it was time to say goodbye, another warm HUG. I cant believe none of us didn't suggest to stay in touch.. or keep in touch. Cut long story short, we didn't keep in touch  and the feelings quickly withered away (which is good for me in a way cos ermmm i can get emotionally attached really quickly, although I can try conceal it). In fact, my mind will be consumed by that person mehn..lol. I hate it and I love it). He was cute and sweet. and very very very polite. (You can tell the kind  of traits I like  in a guy lol). #

Side note: ermm there is time for everything..but I must  say am happy I crushed on someone else, feels like freedom in a way and there is hope lol..

Oh oh, I almost forgot to mention. am on twitter ohh.lol. I know my adopted Aunty is not soo keen. So far its just there, still finding my way through it. But care to follow me: @Daughterofherking  

YOU ARE WELCOME.

There are more, but my time is up  i.e. time to go back to uni work. so will let you ladies and gentlemen know next time.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. if you haven't seen me on your blog or I haven't  left a comment, trust that I will be  leaving some once I have plenty of time.lol.

God is love, Love yourself and on others too.

                             On the train, on my way to the wedding.... random pose.lol.

                                  On my way to  an event in my Church.....loves.
                                                       

Moving On: Hugely Important.

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are well. Amen.

Initially, I was going to title this post "How to Move ON". But then I thought, hmmm that abit too ermm over doing it. The method that works for me might not necessarily be agreed with. Although, I do think this post is helpful.

This title is very much something I know about, while they are books that tells you about how to deal with heartbreaks or how to hate your ex or kill them lol.... I think the best book that will work for you is your own book.lol. am being sarcastic btw. In a nutshell, you have to figure out what works for you.
So what inspired this post, let just say its something that has being brewing in the back ground but today its manifested and thought I should share it with the blogsville family.. YAY.. Aweshome. lol. x

Back to post: Moving on means accepting things and letting go, that you cant change the past and even if you had the chance to, it might not have worked the way you thought. Better still, it does not guarantee you will be where you are today if the past didnt happen. Besides, I think its mostly helps us to discover ourselves and how to deal with our emotions. For some of my new blog readers that have not yet read my backdated posts, I have had my likkle fair of disappointments or should I say heartbreak whatever it means. Links are HERE, HERE and HERE. You are in for a long ride ohh, well with reading those posts. x


Basically, I remember saying have moved on and that this is it, accepting it and knowing things happen for the best. I think for me the hardest part which I mentioned was not being friends, this dude in question has not even dared rung me or checked up on me since we had erm gone our separate ways and the last call I ever received was in response to his birthday message I sent him(last year). I wont tell you about the time I stupidly texted him last yr November (blame it on hormones) and I was sent a text back "who is this". Chia.. talk about insult upon injury.I guess I told you.lol.

With my tails between my legs, I jejely got the message that dude had deleted my number, omo time to EXTRA MOVE ON ohh as in...lol. Which I have and still doing,MOVING ON is a process, but we will get there, although getting there does not mean the person is forgotten (actually it sometimes is) but it means you have learnt from it and making the effort to build your life back. I must say its harder if you have loved the person as in gave your all. To be honest, anytime I see his pic or something I get this weird sensation in my belly not a good one ohh, its like opposite of gooey/butterfly stuff. I hate it, and I think its important to recognise it emotions and it will pass i.e. the horrible sensation.lol. Its like one is nervous in a random way but could it be lurveeee lol. I am kidding. I dont think one can ever stop loving once you have but one can stop dreaming and accept reality.

Moving on, is important because it helps you to get on with the future and attend to the present effectively. For some of us, we find it difficult to move on or to accept what is done. Sometimes its difficult but I think its easier to imagine the other person has moved on cos they are not batting an eyelid, so why should you?(whatever their  reasons are). You are to see situations as a learning process too, i.e. its bringing out a character in you or that you are better understanding e.g you are no longer gullible. lol.

The three things I applied to my MOVING ON:

Let it ALL OUT, In big and horrible drops:

One of the things, I did was to have a good cry. Yes oh, I cried out the pain, I had to let it out physically, I didn't want it in me. I had to admit to my fantasies (that I felt were beautiful and didnt come through). Basically, I cried for every laughter, joy, love, peace and sincerity that was shared in that relationship. He was really good to me in the relationship, so it made it even worse to move on at the time.

Praying it ALL OUT in a massive and little doses:

I did some serious prayer too, I could not do it by myself, there was no way on this earth I could face the world. As in, I hated and hated people that seemed happy in their relationship. I just hated seeing couples holding hands, I hated not being happy for people, I hated feeling sorry for people that had broken up, as in serious eyyyaaaa pele ohh, I understand how you feel. Its like a party search business. All the broken hearted club, oya tell me your story, he left me for another person, or he was not ready, his parents said No. etc me ohh he wanted to hear from God. It always seemed my story was not bad until I mention he doesn't even talk to me and or call me and its like eyehaaaa over again. I had to pray, the self pity, the constant 

blame culture, I kept playing the situation over/over again in my head to try to fix things, the constant beef I had with myself that I could have avoided this and that. The constant rubbish and nonsense the devil, his agents and my mind were feeding me with, making me so miserable and withdrawn. I had pray them out, the fact I was emotional, way to emotional had to STOP. I needed God strength for that oh, big time because each time I felt I had crossed an hurdle, it was like back to the same step I had crossed. I had to gain control and in doing so meant I had to be positive.

Owning it and being POSITIVE:

If I didn't want to end up bitter, miserable and lonely and full of hate and jealousy. I had to own the situation. It basically meant, I had to face my demons and I accept my faults, his faults and forgive everything. Boy, was that hard, but I had to do it. I knew I didn't want the situation to ruin my life, better still my love life, am an amazing girl and I know there is an amazing somebody that will love  and cherish moi, lol. Biko, I didn't want to ruin it for the other person too.lol. Kidding. I had to do it for me, I needed to do it for me, there are generations relying on my well being and positive state of mind and being negative will do no good. Besides, I knew I had a bright future and I refused to allow this situation to end that. I was determined, I was positive, I called my name plenty times and said to myself you will get through this. You will become a stronger woman from this, you will learn from this etc. I wrote down all my feelings (now I look back and am like I didn't write that, did I? infact I felt ewww so emosh man, you sound like desperado, thank God none saw this.  I simply felt embarrassed I wrote them as in too emosh, I lol so much looking back now), what emotions does to your brain. lol.

I emailed myself a lot of things I could have sent to him but didn't. I talked about it alot to purge it out of my system(my Mum is the best, she lent her listening ears, my sisters too and some couple of friends, pastors and my GOD). It really helps when you have amazing people helping you through a tough situation. My Mum understood so much and God did too cos He was the one I told, I wanted a hubby nah.lol... so surely he would understand the disappointment my heart felt. Mum was there to pray for me, encourage me and lift me up even hug me and make sure I was eating well and doing work.

Gradually, slowly I began to gain strength, sometimes I would get a little upset from time to time, but I was able to renew my mind and dwell on the good. It makes you appreciate that when we do good, we are not doing for others, we are doing because we have good intentions not because we are looking to keep the person or trying to slave them. When I think about the good things I did, I learnt that we do it unto God, unto our future and our seeds. Sometimes, not everybody we show love and favour to, will return it but we need to learn to accept and MOVE ON. Before you become obsessed with the situation and keep saying to yourself ahahah God take that thing away from him because it was through me he got it etc. Not good.


I also think now, I understand my emotions alot more. I now know the importance of applying wisdom, concealing my emotions and not allowing it to run over me or help me make  silly irreversible decisions.

In life, we all have our fair share of battles, nobody has it easy and none will. But the important thing is to
know, you will not be the first or the last to be in it. You have to accept and let go of the baggage. It has happened, stay encouraged and be a LIVING TESTIMONY.  Life is all about decisions, no body writes your story only you, even God cannot manifest it if you don't give him permission to.

I am done now.. xxxx

Thanks for reading.

God is love, love yourself and on others too. xx

Btw my NEW JAM love it ohh. Enjoy.

My Prayers....

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome.

Hello Everyone,

One of my 360 degree thinking, when I find I cant do anything. I just say my prayer to God about what is making my heart heavy.

Updating this post using my status on FB.

Lord  please be with as many as are passing away right now. I pray you comfort the hearts of as many as are grieving. I also pray you perfect the healing process of as many as are growing through crucial life saving medical surgery right now.

I pray  LORD that you protect as many homes that are getting robbed or being attacked.
I pray LORD that you help as many mothers that are in LABOUR ROOMS most especially IN developing countries that do not have access to basic and well functioning medical faculties.
I pray for as many that desire a breakthrough from You LORD.
I pray LORD that you protect us like you protected the Israelite like a CLOUD of PILLAR BY DAY AND PILLAR OF FIRE BY NIGHT.
I pray LORD for our enemies that have proposed to inflict us with pain that Lord you will bless them because as we pray, YOU WILL HEAP COALS OF FIRE UPON THEIR HEADS.
I pray LORD that you will FRUSTRATE EVERY plans of the evil ones. BRING CONFUSION INTO THE MIST OF THOSE PLANNING EVIL DEEDS.

I pray that you will provide for as many as are hungry.
I pray for as many as crying out for a MIRACLE.
I pray for as many that believe you are GOD EVEN IN OUR DARKEST MOMENTS.

I pray i will always reference you..

In JESUS Mighty and GLORIOUS AWESOME SWEET NAME.

AMEN.

Pls let share the grace.....lol. am kidding. In the midst of the situation, I pray we will always have a reason to smile..

My thoughts with the DANA AIR FAMILY and as many accidents I dont know about...

God bless you.


xxxx

BITTERNESS: ITS AN EMOTIONAL DISEASE.

Thank you for visiting.

Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello People,

I pray all will be with you and your love/d ones. AMEN.

Quick update: My azonto is not that bad, well am trying, still working on it  sha.. I cant stop lol@ one comment I saw on Linda Ikeji's blog. Commentator "your future is dancing azonto with the devil". so random.. lool. that saying the devil dances azonto too..funny(dont doubt it ohh).

I am officially addicted to blogs.. I NEED TO STOP. MY eyes oh my eyes..

Back to the post.

You see the thing about bitterness is, its like a disease and with a disease (depending on its type) slowly erodes all the good and healthy part(if not treated early) eventually every parts is polluted if not permanently destroyed. Well that what bitterness is about, its like its starts of tiny and grows bigger and bigger and eventually saps every forms of positivity out of a person. Bitterness can occur from different aspects/circumstances  of life, it could be betrayal, distrust, to pain, disappointments, hurt, anger etc. Basically, the aforementioned factors and more can trigger  sadness, which can result to bitterness and an eventually an emtional disease. The emotional disease is fed and grows bigger, larger and eventually takes over the mind of the person. Before you know,  the person intentions is now eroded with bitterness  and  anything they do or say has an underlying tone of NEGATIVITY.

Bitterness can lead to a person being constantly jealous, envious, self pity, arrogant, constantly moaning/complaining, constantly moody, always finding faults in everything and I mean EVERYTHING, and can sometime be viewed as ENEMIES OF PROGRESS. This is what bitterness can lead to (if not treated early and properly). You know what happens with anyone that has a deep cut or a wound (again if not treated early and properly), it begins to smell and people will begin to turn their heads and cover their noses. This is how bitterness is,  people will immediately notice it in  your attitude which is a reflection of your mindset, that you are negative and you sometimes enjoy or derive some sort of pleasure  from "pouring sand in people's garri". You are never objective  although you convince you are, but your actions speaks otherwise, because your intentions is eroded with bitterness.  Sometimes,  when you aim to critique, you end up destroying if not hating the work of the other person. You don't see the good in anything but all the wrongs and the bad, even in  that you don't aim to develop the other person but to destroy their work and confidence. A bitter person is not fun to be with only around the  people that are as bitter as they are so therefore, they are able to feed each other's bitterness and the diseases gets bigger and more powerful.

The funny thing is: A bitter person sometimes do not see that their actions  are NEGATIVE and damaging, in fact if anything they like to convince themselves that its not their  fault, its the others person issues not theirs etc. This action exempts them to deal with their demons and confront the issues eating them up.


Eventually, the bitter person is forgotten by people and people simply ignore them and not listen to what they have to say because "its NEGATIVE". The thing is: alot of us don't know we are bitter about situations  we simply suppress things and bury them. You cant bury your demons forever they will grow fatter and bigger and come and get you even more. P.S  DONT be scared of your demons, if you are, channel that fear into positive thinking.

Dealing with bitterness is essential and the earlier the better. Like a disease needs healing, medicine, attention and proper care. So does a person with bitterness, you need to take a break and treat that wound, that emotional wound that has been there for so long, nobody sees it but you know what it is.  Whatever the situation was and is and still is YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR HEALING and you need it NOW. If you don't want to be the man or woman people run away from 5-20yrs down the line,  I  will encourage  if not admonish you to invest in emotional cleansing and healing. Pls lets stop BLAMING PEOPLE, blame is a massive contributor to BITTERNESS, inability to see your wrongs or understand the situation that has occurred. Basically, the situation  should be seen as an opportunity to learn grow and essentially build yourself up mentally, spiritually and emotionally(you never know, you could find yourself improving someone else's life too). You have get up and shake off the dark cloudiness, the insecurities you are battling with has to GO.  YOU need to learn to live a life of positivity and hang around people that have positive energy and outlook on life.  Is it easy? Nope. Nothing in life is easy or come easy, if it comes easy it will not last long.. trust me on this.

The truth, we all have our low moments and high moments and just because some of us dealt with it better and faster does not mean we had it good all along. Nobody has it good (including  celebraties) even the animals have their good and bad experiences,  so you are not the only one. One more thing, its ok to mourn any pain you are feeling or situation but what is not good is to stay in that situation and never move on or fail to do something positive about it. In addition, whatever you think you are going through, or have been through pls be rest assured people have gone  through it even in double portions and came out strong so all hope is not lost. Doctor JESUS is always happy to help and support your healing process. It can be tough to deal with our innermost pain i.e. the cause of the bitterness but once we let go of that baggage, things starts to look up because we will begin to notice and give attention to the good things happening.

If anyone has a prayer point concerning this issue and You would like me to join you in faith.  You are welcome to email me @: daughterofherking@yahoo.co.uk. Pls strictly prayers only or advice (not an expert yet).. eheheh.

God is love, love yourself and on others too.

Do I sound like some pastor mrs..lol.. am joking ohh. I want to be  a motivational speaker  and a counselor. I think its about time, I exercise my qualities/talents.  I love encouraging people, such a nice thing to speak positivity and life into someone's life. Applying the word from one of my fav books Proverbs 18 vs 21 (google it)

P.S.  apologies for the white lines.. it was not copied. ..

New jam btw... she is soo cool and I like her personality..

PRINCIPLES: ITS ESSENTIAL

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Poeple. Happy Sunday.. xx

Yep, am on a roll today oh, man dem is on a roll.lol.

After Church we decided  well my friend that I waited for decided to pay  another church member that recently had a baby  a visit by a hiking a ride with another church member. So I tagged along and off we went. Cut long story short, ended up at a friends house, was left alone with her children ( boy and a girl) but they are soo adorable and not much of a disturbance. I was stuck in the kitchen too, imagine hubby and wife (both my friends) went off to others neighbours and enjoyed me playing nanny. I ended up cooking chicken, frying it all, and then cooking jrice too, took a pic below. I didn't think it was my best cos I missed out key ingredient I love my chicken knorr any day jor.

Back to the post of the today.

Ever wondered about what its means to have principles?? For some of us we actually have no clue what our principles are or what its about or involves (some of us need a time alone to grow and learn). Besides, principles is not something that becomes apparent, it takes people around you and circumstances to know you as a person. When I was much younger (teen years), people thought I was strict because I chose not to do certain things. Infact, I thought I was strict because I chose not to do certain things that I felt were morally wrong. To cut long story, I realised that its all part of principles, infact am not strict all, I just have grounded principles that guide my decisions and help me to reflect in areas of development.

Principles basically involves the fundamental truth you stand on and its forms or shapes your line of reasoning and decisions making process. In essence, its form a great part of our behaviour as its governs what we do and chose not to do.(you are welcome to google the rest). Moving on, principles are influenced by different factors from family, environment, education, society, friends, religions, experiences, work place etc. For some of us we have strong and clear principles about certain ideas, that is why some of us will not encourage an act or approve of a particular type of attitude (whether that is good or bad, its up to your conscience).

But my point is: Based on clear cut precise principles some people will chose to remain faithful to their partners not because they are not tempted or not willing to do it but because mentally their principles disapproves it and they are able to see the further implications, hence able to #renewtheirmind#. However, this illustration might not be applicable in all situations as some of have different mindsets and different ideologies.

Well, principles will encourage others to speak against injustice and do something about it even if it means sacrificing ones life. Principles helps  us to view the world around and interpret our behaviour and judge others too. Some of us we have healthy principles i..e its governed by good intentions, godly teachings that are of JESUS i.e. love thy neighbour as thy self. This is why, you have some Christians that are so loving and show  this love, in respect of your gender, race or culture. Sometimes you will find out that some people are willing to forgive despite all the wrong doings(grace also plays an important role here).

On the other hand, for some of us our  principles are polluted governed by selfish behaviour and unethical reasoning. This is why some of us will do anything absolutely anything i.e. wrong doings encouraged by negative intentions and not feel guilty because our core principles that govern our behaviour is not clear, clean and concise.

In a nutshell, before you and I pass any judgement lets think about our principles (what governs us and our sense of reasoning). So before I say some people are bad, I like to think their principles which governs their behaivour is already polluted and all of these manifests in their attitude and actions. All of which occurs from the mind set. It makes me wonder the type of thought process the person has in place or what they have fed their mind to come across like that. For instance, take the DANA AIR management or in fact the pilots that flew the plane, what were their principles?? money motivated or people i.e. humanity motivated. Am sure companies such as this will have visions and missions statement but what is the principles behind it?? Or do they communicate these principles to their staff. It not just Dana Air, its oil companies that have done damages too, causing havoc and issues for the indigenous people. It makes me wonder whether its robots that occupy the place or its human. Humans that are suppose to feel and understand the pain of others. Where is their principles? Again its stems from deeper roots and mental state.

All I can say is its essential we have principles, there should be a fixed non negotiable rules that should be in place and we should be accountable to. Lord, gave us our mind for a reason because he knew we are more than capable. So next time you do something silly most esp when its hurts others e.g. hitting your spouse, cheating, stealing etc don't try to pretend  its alright or that its acceptable,but admit that you have a problem and sort it out quick. Violence solves NOTHING. Hitting someone does not make it alright.

I will stop here, its important that we feed our minds with things that are good, healthy, noble, pure and of good reports. These things shape our behaivour and whatever we do today always ALWAYS has a consequence if you can see it now, you will either see it in the future or your generations will experience it.


To be honest, I feel like have lost the plot for this post.lol. Apologies.  Hope you got the gist of it.. chai, when I had this ministered to me in my mind it was following well ohh... smh.


God is love, love yourself and others too. xxx

 some interesting looking patterns, some are more coloured than the others but I made sure I used omorgun to mix together thoroughly ooh.. xxx  argggghhh these white lines.. #smh#