Saturday, 4 February 2012

Marriage the VISION I see.

Thank you for visiting. Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello People,

I hope everyone is blessed. 

Note: You will notice some writing fonts have changed in some of my posts(still experimenting).

OK, I made  an attempt to bake short-bread today twice, one got burnt(stupid recipe book, it said 45mins chia). I made another batch and it tasted like flat flapjack... Let us just say it didn't turn out well(I will keep trying(happy smiles). 

I will just go straight to the post and try not to make it too long(rolls eyes). This is a continuation from  the posts I wrote concerning marriage Basically, like I explained I am for and pro marriage and not just any type of marriage the ones that are  based on good intentions/respectable godly principles, non-self motives and pure understanding on both individuals. 

As a person, I have visions for aspects of my life and I tend to see them manifest most of the time. What I mean by vision is a realistic goal of where I know I can manifest the beautiful qualities that  I have and to learn more and most importantly glorify God (considering that he is the center of my life by his grace). So, therefor my visions consist of God, myself and the situation am involved in and how I can best play a good/positive part and demonstrate positive qualities(will probably do a post on this sometime).

 Individuals are dynamic in their ways  and what makes us what we are  lies in the various influences that has shaped and possibly still shaping our minds, thoughts and mentality.  Attitudes & Characters are mainly developed through various aspects of experiences, ideologies, upbringing, environment, life, education,family,  religion, beliefs, faith etc. Based on these things and more, there are different dynamics a  marriage  would uphold and each marriage will be different and will carry different  purpose  based on the individuals involved. You find that some marriages are similar and some are totally different again depends on the individuals and roots.

In my marriage, I one of the visions I see  is partnership this means both of us are working in sync and constantly making a non-selfish decision that is of both benefits to both parties involved. Now, me getting married means that I am fulfilling one of God's purposes/vision. I believe for me I would have to consider three major qualities to enable me to understand how I would fit into his life as a WIFE vice versa(subject to change as I am still learning, developing and growing).

a)He has to be purposeful, this means he HAS to have a PURPOSE, something measurable and tangible. In order to be able to know your purpose which we all have  got  (he would have to have known himself). Now,this purpose  does not have to be elaborated or overrated ohh. But just that he needs to be aware that he has a purpose and it will  make a difference(i prefer for him to admit that he has none yet or he is yet to figure it out than to lie ohh thank God for the spirit of discernment cos I will know as I have come to know myself/still knowing myself and discovering purpose).

b)He needs to see my potential in helping HIM to achieve his purpose(knowing that women  primarily role is to attend to our husband needs and be his helpmate, obviously this probably does not apply to the 21 century believes (me assuming). He Needs recognise that I can help him to make things happen through God's grace.

c)He needs to have HUNGER for learning, developing and growing. It is important that HE recognises his role as a man in the marriage. He NEEDS  to grow if he wants to successfully lead in his marriage i.e. the woman does not take over all the time. When we grow/develop  as individuals, I believe a shift in the mindset has to occur in order to see the manifestation of the GROWTH made. NO ACTIONS, THEN I WILL QUESTION. Besides, he needs the growth in order to positively impact the marriage, UNION, relationship and foundation. 

Due to the fact that marriage is  a partnership(well I want my marriage to be about partnership), there is a need for constant learning, improvement and awareness. I am pro learning and improving and developing hence my love for alot things that has impacted positively. I believe  a marriage should be the same there should growth, nurture, development and service.

I see a vision where we  both understand our roles clearly, we communicate both of our understanding, we both come to a decision on how we would create the marriage that will work for us and work with God  and at the same time what we would like our marriage to stand for i.e. principles, values, accountability and responsibility. This means  a shift in the mindset has to occur i.e. growth, learning, letting go of here say here say that are of no use to us, setting goals, helping each other to achieve all the goals, reviewing plans and dedicating it all to God. I  see us praying for constant  guidance and direction from my bestie the Holy Spirit.

 I also see friendship, someone that will communicate every aspects of their mind and thoughts to me first (aside from God). At the same time, understand the magnitude that friendship carries these includes TRUST, COMPANIONSHIP, HONESTY, SUPPORT, TOLERANCE,AWARENESS,CORRECTION, ADMONISHMENT, LAUGHTER, UNIQUENESS, HUMILITY, UNDERSTANDING and LOVE. 

Yeah, there are more things obviously that is needed but understanding the concept of friendship and its meaning for me is a massive STEP. This is because a good foundation is needed to breed other positive influences and experiences.

There is no perfect marriage people say, but for me perfection is flawed because to be perfect means NOT TO HAVE MADE MISTAKES OR WILL EVER MAKE MISTAKES and that is just not in existence. For that reason, I am expecting a lot of mistakes to be made, I am expecting alot of unnecessary trivial disagreements, annoying moments, stressful days, arrrgggghhh tearing my hair out days.... But, I DO NOT WANT IT TO STOP THERE, seeing that we are not perfect we have the opportunity to learn and make things better next time and so for that reason I WILL ENCOURAGE LOADS AND MASSIVE DOSE of COMMUNICATION and HONESTY and REWARDS. 

I see SUPPORT, ENCOURAGEMENT, COMPASSION, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL, PEACE AND LOVE. This cannot be achieved by mere strength so HOLYSPIRIT is there for us guiding  and giving  each person the grace to exhibit these qualities and more.

I also see GOOD INTENTIONS and MOTIVES, I am big on motives and intentions this is because I feel like that is the root of every every every plan that is manifested to reality. If motives are selfish, wrong, idolised, lacks meaning, full of evil etc,  certainly this will affect the outcomes of alot of decisions made. For this reason, I see us  with good motives and non selfish motives i.e. my way my way (but the renewing/transforming of our minds)... At this same time, I pray for grace through the holy spirit to see the HIDDEN motives and intentions of a man. If I see this am able to guard myself. 

I will stop here and I think its important to know that marriage should have a vision, life in itself is a vision that God saw and created. For that reason we should aim to have visions for our lives no matter what we should be encouraged.

Please do share your thoughts/opinions.

Thanks for reading.

God is love, love yourself and on others too.



  1. Thanks for dropping by my blog
    Apologies I have been absent from yours.

    With regards to having a vision...............I will have to say that one must have a 'flexible vision'. This is because people change as they grow older. As a result, what you might consider absolutely necessary in an ideal marriage might become less important as one grows older.

    For example, some ladies seek a driven man. However, a driven man is less likely to be a supportive husband - because he is so focused on his goals.

    If I had a daughter, I would advise her to choose a man who puts her before others; who has a dream of where he would like to be in 10/20 years time and who has some idea of how he intends getting there. A man who has faith in God and respect for his parents is also ideal

    1. U officially forgiven.. YAY you came to visit(dances)....

      @ first advice yes, I guess I do intend on being flexible...

      Oh yes, you are right a driven man most likely to focus on his goals and forget to carry his family along.. I would definitely love me a supportive hubby that is driven about us...

      Is true ohh..a man that will always put me first is key(made a mental note) and yes his dreams too and yes he must have FAITH in God no shaking... Yes respect is crucial..

      Thank u blog mammi... you have helped reinforced my views... THANK U THANK U... I will definitely be sending invitation ur way ohh... xxxx

  2. I think you have quite a realistic vision of marriage. Some ladies I know haven't thought much about marriage past their wedding gown and the song they will dance to at the reception. :)

    Like Naijmum, I will say also that you have to be flexible. But I like that you mention partnership as what you want in a marriage and the willingness and ability of both of you to grow, learn and improve.

    1. Thank you Myne and thank you for visiting...

      Yes, I see partnership, friendship, lovers, couples, brother/sister and parents....

      I guess my visions are massive and this is just a tip of the iceberg..


  3. Replies
    1. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....where have u been???? whats with the hmmmmm???? share your thoughts jor....

      nice to see u r back ohh


Thank you for visiting.

Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..