Thursday, 2 February 2012

Marriage: As a Vision

Thank you for visiting. Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello World,

I hope everyone is faring well. Happy New Month.. wow its 02/02/2012.... Awesome...

Today's post is actually going to  be a very interesting one. I have decided to use this month as a theme month. This means the posts uploaded will relate to Marriage. I am so excited to this post and I have had plans on it and been saying will do it.... This post is one of many series of posts and its lays the foundation to many exciting posts in store. This is basically the introduction to many posts yet to come.

 Before I go deep, I will like to clarify some issues:

a)This post is about marriage and its connotations.
b)Is to share  the diverse aspects of my ideas and understanding of what I know about marriage so far.
c)I am passionate about Marriage and its ideologies and I would like to take you on that journey.
d)Pls beware its a learning process as well it might be for you or not, so any criticism/suggestions should be strictly POSITIVE.
e)I am not in any shape, way or form claiming that I know better or my ideas posted in the blog is better but for me this is what has been revealed to me and I have come to understand and will implement....
h)I am not married but I will be ONE DAY. I can happily say am working on myself, image, intellect, character, ideologies, inner self etc.

i)LETS GO!!!!!

Basically, I will start from my own personal experience and how far I have come and learnt. Please understand that  all my opinions/facts about marriage is mainly gained from my relationship with God (YES, God). Having said that, things I have read, learnt or heard things has also influenced my understanding.

I will briefly tell about my own encounter of marriage through my parents. My parents marriage did not work it meant that it was not successful. My Dad pretty much left when I was really young maybe 2 years old or less, but he popped in and out of our lives every now and then and Mum brought us up by herself with God's help. I am able  count about 10-15 times when I have seen my Dad and Mum together in the space of my 23 years on earth. Yes, they were married and had a traditional wedding(awwww).

I remember when I was much younger Dad only took us out once as a family to a visit a family friend. This is quite an interesting story. Dad younger sister who at the time was our nanny took myself and sis to the hairdressers/saloon My sister grew her hair at the time so she plaited it often whilst I was on a low cut afro(i don't know why though).  I remember telling my maid I was very hungry and I wanted to eat but she was not giving  me attention. I was about 4ish during this time, I remember being upset and getting up, leaving the saloon and walking Home...(can you imagine that boldness). Like I walked 20mins to my Home(that has never happened before). I sneaked out and I managed to remember the routes and walked and kept walking and when it was time to cross(a nice man that was like a road patrol or something picked me up and helped me cross, I doubt if we still have people like that in Niaj ohh). I got home, and saw Dad (always had an afro and still does). I saw him, said hello and went straight to sleep lol.(Thank God I did, I think I ate and then slept). Although, they did ask me where everyone else was and I replied they were on their way(Not, I lied, chia where did i pick up that line). I slept and I remember been woken up to the panic in my maid's/aunty's voice (she came home and was asking where I was and if they had seen me) Dad replied I was sleeping(she did get intro trouble though, cos they later found out I went home by myself).  After all the shabang, Mum dressed us all up, we wore knickerbugger (a type of out fit was designed with a skirt/short). Myself and sis wore cream and Mum wore the green version(I cant clearly recall Dad's outfit). Mum looked really nice she had red lipstick on, I remember and she did her  hair nice too. We all looked nice, I had a scottish hair bow in my cute afro and we all jumped into Dad Mercedez white car (later, found out Mum's bro gave him the car).  So yeah, that was our first and only outing together as a family till date.

I never saw Dad much anyway although he worked away in the sea (he is an engineer), when he came home he left immediately. The other stuff I remember is the violence, Dad beating Mum (it was quite common when growing up, Men claim to discipline their wives, Mum always fought back though and I don't think she saw it as an abuse, clearly when she complained she did not mention that part). Dad telling us off and Dad coming home drunk etc. So, yeah I didn't really experience a marriage in that sense or know what is like to have both parents in my  life working together in a partnership and living together. Its not like that in our family, Mum did majority of the work and Dad when he felt like it showed up(as we call him part-time Dad). Please understand have moved on and I do not hold any grudges quite frankly Mum has done an excellent job with us (I don't feel like I have missed out anything, cos God has blessed us in many ways, he has been more than a father and has helped Mum to nuture us). I am not bitter or sad or anything of such, if anything am postive, I have learnt from Mum's mistakes and Dad mistakes in their marriage and pray to be better(Dad and I are still close, although I see him more like an Uncle than a dad, and yes I have told him about himself and his selfish ways times without number, lol).

That is a just a brief encounter of what I know of the marriage I experienced, but where this passion for marriage come from?? I guess only from my KING. (I am pro marriage and I am for it all the way but not just any type of marriage sha, like the ones where both individual in it are level headed and actually understand marriage). So far, my origin of marriage comes from my believe in God and as the creator of the Earth.

Please read the next post for continuation.....

God is love, love on yourself and others too.


  1. I love that you care about marriage, many young people have lost hope in the institution. Though your parents marriage didn't work you still believe.

    1. Yes, u are right many have. Infact I think I am one of the few that are still passionate and wants to ensure it works. I can imagine why people would lose faith, everything around has failed and some are still failing. People that were put in place to nurture us and protect us have messed up. The world is pretty much messed up.

      But I have come a long way and I do not think its by my strength. Most times am scared and think its all in my head but at least its in my head and God is in charge.

      I pray I become a living testimony to many and inspire people that marriage is good and healthy when both partners in it are doing it right and well.

      Thank u hun for commenting... xxxxxxx


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