Using your PERSONAL INITIATIVE.......

Hello PEOPLE,

I hope we are doing great and enjoying the spring... Hmmm *loves*.

This topic is inspired by real life experiences  but what prompted me to write about this. was something I read on BN CLICK. While my title is not exactly based on the article it made me want to share  some ideas.

I am not too sure if everyone understands the meaning of using personal initiative in anything at all.Some of us do not only lack common sense at times we lack the ability to think outside the box /allow ourselves to do things without being told or asked. Personally,I hate when people are unable to use their own initiative like for real, I need to keep telling you everything when you are not two years old???

I have read stories and seen a lot of people that make mistakes, myself included and some of these  mistakes   if not most, could have been so avoided.  While am not a perfect being but a strong advocate for learning as a way of growing up I do believe  using personal initiative and taking responsibility is crucial to development and maturity.

I personally will not date or consciously allow myself to like or indulge with a dude that does not HAVE/USE his initiative. In addition, I will not also allow myself  to be in friendships that the other  does not use INITIATIVE. I don't like being frustrated and I don't like   the feeling  of training someone! its just not acceptable. .. Besides, am still training me by the grace of God jor. lol.

There are five facts I dont like:
1) Never offering help ever. Not even can I get that for you? or would you like me to get you this ?? I am not talking only relationships but in everyday life. E.g. at work, helping a colleague out or offering to serve tea (lol, the UK).  This gesture is a sign of humility if anything at the very least. I know in some instances some people will take advantage  and you will know. Why? They never return the offer or at least try to. I think in situations as such i.e. not to feel like a doormat, I  will consciously cut back or communicate about it esp in a relationship or friendship.

2.) Always taking: I just loath it when people always TAKE, TAKE, TAKE, and keep on taking and never give nothing. Life does not work that way (well in my world), if we all took, took and took we will have nothing in us to give or sacrifice. It is a kind gesture not only to try and give a little back but  it also helps to release  blessings and in return be appreciated and valued. For some of us, we are quick to take and not quick to give. This is an area I had to learn to work on. It is a blessing to me to bless others and be supportive in anyway I can   and I think it is great to say no to things as in  take less where necessary.

3.) Lack of home training: I say this because some of us simply lack the ethos of house keeping, helping around the house or simply being supportive. We simply enjoy others slaving away for us in the kitchen, in the bedroom. in the work place etc. The simple gesture of appreciation is what we lack  and not only is this attitude discouraging its just pure rude and insane for anyone to lack basic home training and expect so much from others. Mtcheewwww....

4.) Lack of responsibility: I hate when people can't/ refuse to be accountable esp when you are SANE.  It is important to understand we are all on a journey so it is expected for us to mess up at some point order to get it right next time. Although, the degree of the mess we make varies, it is essential  we  learn to take responsibility for the mess we have caused and the pain that has affected others as a result. Surely, if you had any ounce of initiative you would have thought twice or three times harder about the decision that created this mess. If you didn't pls own up and don't blame any DEVIL, did he force you or you simply bought the idea that popped in your head?

5.)Lack the ability to think outside the box: The inability to think outside the box i.e. try to do something a little different for the person you love or care about is just plain BORING.  For some people not only do they claim they don't have it in them, they don't even bother to TRY.
TRYING is a start. Nobody expects you to get it right  all the time but when you try, you will  learn and figure it out better next time.

What am I saying: STOP THE EXCUSES and just try to allow yourself to use your own initiative to think outside the box and take the lead.

I am done ranting..lol.

I hope to post some more relevant pointers about other topics.

Stay blessed and enjoy the tiny beauty left in this world.

*Sigh*  @ the news, not very encouraging. I pray for strength and grace. x

Don't make people a PRIORITY when to them, you are an OPTION.

2013 is great so far..

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are all well and enjoying 2013, thank God for life and life in abundance.

Its been a while since have updated. So here we go:
I am currently chilling with the fam so am at home. I have taken up jogging, it requires me waking up early as 5:30 (good for the soul right?) and I have lost a size I can see a difference on my clothes. Late last year to early this year, I wore UK size 12, now am back at UK size 10 and I can just about squeeze into a size 8 (Yippee). Not bad, I also have changed my eating habits, e.g. cutting down on hours I eat late, eating  smaller portions of food and drinking loads of water  with lemon. I will share some pics also. I must say I have not jogged since coming home on holls my excuse (running up and down the stairs is also exercise  lol).

Back to the topic of the day, So what with the title? (i actually think its a saying or a quote).  The moment I understood this saying, the moment my life became easier and better lol(kidding). As someone that generally takes everything in life seriously lol, I never understood how one can devote time and energy into somebody or something  and they never get the same attention or level of involvement back or never just got there. Besides, different things have different meaning to people.  You see,  in life we are influenced by different situations that also influence  our mindsets,  values, thought process and actions. Each character or attitude we have/depicts is a result of an influence of some sort whether we are conscious of it or not or its intrinsic in our character. For instance, I like to think am  helpful, if/when I see anyone struggling with bags or heavy things I offer to help. I can say this  influence I have had is from my family (well mostly Mum) and  I also know how it feels when you carry heavy things and just need help. This attitude has been influenced not only by my family but by other situations around me. Based on influences,  some of us make decisions that are different to the norm. I have also come to realise that as individuals, based on our influences, core values and mental state we all have different priorities in life.

For me, priorities are things that are important to me and I am also passionate about them however not in all cases but they add value and meaning to my life in some sort of way. Our priorities also change mainly because we grow, experience  and develop and what used to be important / priority 5 years ago is no longer relevant e.g. falling in love (the term is subjective but I know me five years and now the term is irrelevant).

I will use the context of relationships, friendships or people in general to discuss the topic.  I find that some of us due to the we are, we consider  certain things important than others whilst to some it aint. Due to this, I think some people or many people get hurt in the process. For instance, for some people they think friendships is about  communicating and telling  each other all the secrets in this world. Whilst you find yourself telling all your secrets to somebody you consider your friend, you find out they don't do that with you? Could it be they don't place you on that friendship pedal stool like you  or better still, they don't consider sharing secrets true friendships? It could be anything... Whilst you make time to call, text or check on somebody, you find that they don't do the same for you or with you?  In my own opinion, no matter what the excuses are (as we all never run out of them), to me it means they don't see you the way you see them. It not such a bad thing, because again we all influenced by different things and are moved by different situations and we all have priorities.  It is only bad when people never take time to communicate/ be honest or they lead you on pretending to be this whilst they are not.
For some of us we find its frustrating when people do not relate to us as we want them to or think they should. On the other hand, the other  people might be  the way they are as a result of past hurts and experiences  which again influences their priorities meaning what they would usually hold dear is no longer the same. For some people, stuffs like sharing secrets never mattered to them because to them that not what they consider friendships or perhaps they have no secrets to share or do not consider anything as secrets etc. I guess this is where communication does take place to better understand each other values and mentally   relate well to each other.

I suppose for me, its not so much what people place value on, its much of I don't like feeling stupid or be stupid and I always read between the lines. Whilst this might not always be the case, I think its important when to know its time to draw the line and just plainly understand "there is no point flogging a dead horse". No matter how much you invest, try or cajole, if somebody isn't changing or budging to make you a priority i.e. give you the same attention as you give them or even place you higher. I simply think, to them you are an option or better still nothing at all or they are not ready/not into you. Whichever, I think the sooner one realises this, the better you know how to strategically deal with some issues that come your way.
We all do it, we make people priorities and some people options and vice versa. With time, some people you thought were "options"   become priority  due to some eureka moments whatever/whenever that occurs and some that were "priorities" become options again maybe you read between the lines and thought "things gotta change" whichever way.  I believe its best to tell yourself the truth, face reality and deal with it.
In all fairness, placing people as options is not such a negative thing  (though I don't encourage it in some situations e.g. in relationships), but  providing that the level of investment is about the same or better still not exhausting. Some people like being options whether its in relationships or otherwise. Personally, I don't  like  giving  my best knowing that the other person wont and isn't bothered to.  It really does not encourage me.  I know my worth.

For me, my best solutions to dealing with encounters such as this i.e. placing people as priorities/options.
First establish an understanding of the person in question or the situation (consider their attitudes and scenarios). Understanding a variety of issues gives people scope on dealing with them.
 Communicate if allowed by the person and  maintain transparency. This offers opportunity to gauge things in order to make prepared and  better decisions. If you sense things and you communicate it, yet no amendments then I guess you have to ask yourself the ultimate question.
Importantly you can be led to  pray for them and lift them in love because you never know the  deep battles people are fighting in their personal lives. I guess if you had a really good rapport, vibe and understanding beforehand it would facilitate this approach.  For some, it simply the case of we live and learn or  time will tell.
Like everything that has less time invested in it, it will die and on that note, if we don't want it to die we have  to keep trying. In most cases, we only try with things that we consider important and  are of benefits to our lives or to others etc.

In conclusion, you will meet various people in life and situations will occur but before anything, its important we know ourselves and what we consider important. If we are able to communicate great. Just bear in mind that people react to things differently based on their personal values, motives and mindsets.

Please feel free to add your comments or contribution.

Thank you for reading.

God bless you and hope we all had a wonderful EASTER.
                                                                      Such a poser...

                                        Nothing like noodles and eggs. Yummy. x

Haters are GONNA Hate. SO let THEM.

2013....

Year of reaching TARGETS..

Hello Everyone,

I know some of us have missed me, my posts and maybe comments *chuckles*.. I like to think so sha.. lol

To start off, am not a blogger that generally talks about these things i.e. hating. I have never had the reason to. I am also not the type that generally writes by reading other posts.  My comments are usually enough to show my strong opinions, though I think if I  blogged often people are able to see more of me and my thoughts pattern. Which I think it great (I should just try harder lol).

This post is inspired by many things but ultimately what pushed me to writing is the post I read on my lovely Aunty IB blog.  People should leave her for me o. I like her alot because she is bold enough to communicate her feelings and her stance, though it might not always go down well with everybody, such is life. At least, she is learning and aims to be better, not everyone can boast of that. This is a link to the post Simply Mee.

Back to the topic of the day. lol o. The term hating is subjective, it will vary depending on individuals and their understanding of things. Typically, when people term others as haters I have to read the comment or what they have said to see it as that. In some cases, some comments are not hateful its just the choice of words and interpretation that makes it come across as that. In most cases or less, some people are not sensitive enough to realise that the comment might be hateful or considered rude and unnecessary  We live to learn.
What I generally find hateful is mainly centered around personal attacks, for example, you get people that insult people's image and go further by calling them horrible names and attacking the rest of their family members. I find that not only appalling but disrespectful to the person in question saying such, and it makes me marvel if anything at the type of mindset and issues the person abhors in them. "By their fruits you shall know them". Mattew 7: 16 (Pls read the whole chapter, its just amazing).

Moreover, I do think some hateful things some people say are not generally intended that way, it might be the passion and the lack of insight to the situation that makes them talk as such or maybe the ground they stand on. For me, I have very strong opinions and I am incredibly expressive with my words, actions and body language etc if you met me in real person, I suppose that the testament. In comparison to some people, I do a lot of reflections, that has been a big part of my growth and growing process and if at all I feel or convicted I didn't handle a matter in love or could have been better handled,  am quick to apologise and amend my ways. Sadly, not alot of us have the capability  to exercise humility and some of us simply choose/chose not too.

There is a saying  that goes "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all". I think "good" is relative, does it mean good as in nothing elevating to say or does it mean you must first think of a good thing and if you don't see the good, it means the rests are bad, therefore you shouldn't point out an error? We are humans and our opinions are formed by various issues and situations we are influenced by.After all, we are products of our environment, if you someone doesn't see any good but chooses to calmly state their points without any form of aggressiveness or hateful tone, it most likely they do have something good to say. Maybe not what we want to hear but their  comment or opinion makes sense and it would make a different if employed.  Obviously, we are required to sift through things and weigh them.

I think that hating is not the issue, because to a degree we all dislike some things and have a strong opinions about stuffs be it religion, relationships, upbringing etc. I guess what stands out for me is the way we approach the issue and discuss it without breaking the roofs or ripping out the keyboard. Lool. If you find yourself wanting to do something destructive based on someone else disagreeing with you, I suggest you find a chill corner or better still do something about it because that for me is a sign of "VIOLENCE" which am sorry it shouldn't not be tolerated because you want to "by force by fire" push the person to believe your points of view in order words coercing the person. If you stand correct, leave the matter and pray for the person to see it  for themselves that for me is the true way. In fact, doing so might allow the person to think and reflect.

I also do think that seeing that the world is diverse with different personalities, it is inevitable not to get someone or somebody that wouldn't hate or pour venom. I think the  hurtful things some people say, pierce through the hearts but you have to ask few questions. What made this person say such horrid things? could  they have an element of truth? Could they have their own personal demons fighting them? Are they indirectly seeking help? Do they enjoy feeding off negative vibes to feel good or are they generally aiming to pull me down?  Based on your answers, my solution,  do try to answer/respond in love trust me it will not only back fire it will help you to understand some people are just "attention seekers" and love does conquer.  Besides,  one can still clarify without having to stoop low to the level of the hateful comment for example calling horrid names. You know Why:  "the hearts of man is desperately wicked", sometimes you don't know the state of mind of people, their history, their upbringing, their challenges etc. If it was online, you can't see this person, look/ assess them and you don't know whether they have had in for you in a long time etc. You don't know alot of things so why would you think you can take them on? If anything, they are charged and rearing to go after all its is their mouth and opinions. It can't be easy to LOVE but that the calling, I'd say pray for grace and strength.

I am grateful for my upbringing and my faith, because first and foremost, we all have opinions. If you hate, that is your opinion, I am not about to start a world war 3 because of what you have said. I will admit depending on the severity of what was said, I would be hurt but I won't allow the hurt to rule my mind and emotions. I have the CHOICE. The other thing is, you don't know me,I don't know you, if you die today I prolly wont know, so what my own?. Besides,  it is energy and time consuming replying to an hateful comment like seriously the person is already less busy and looking to while away their idle time.
Finally, that hater or the commentator with the hateful comment will not be the last person that will attack or say horrible things so why should I start entertaining you?  I won't be the first or last person that has been dizzed not only by haters but by any particular hater.

Life is tough as it is, and some people derive some sort of sad joy by sapping our energy so what do you do? You ignore and pray for them. God said he will heaps of coal on your enemies  head.  Unfortunately, some people have allowed themselves to used by all sorts.  The other thing I would say is, there are extremities and its important we also check ourselves, some people do say hateful things but there could be an element of "truth in it".We should take time to sift through things and not allow our emotions to take over as it is sometimes always the case.

Lastly, if you look through history of great men and women, pls do let me know if they didn't encounter or still encounter any form of hatred and injustice. When you generate hate, it means you are making an impact, so pls don't be discouraged, if anything your words are like "Loud SIRENS" to some people. I also think some of us have it easy with some haters, some people get it really bad so pls be grateful in a way. lol. You have to always compare. I am not saying is right or fair that "haters" or "hateful" comments should be here to stay but the reality is, it is here to stay before us it did and it will after us because like everything in life "there are opposites" so it is law and part of life processes. Jesus had it bad, and for me despite his love and sacrificial death  and salvation to mankind he still does have it  bad and prolly will till the end of time.  So can you ever please people. NO ( I am spelling it out). You cant.

So next time you see any awful comment. MAKE SURE YOU CHOSE wisely.

P.S. I would like to say the word "hate" has been misused and is now tagged on anyone that disagrees, critics or points things out. Its not acceptable to just tag people as hate because they disagree with your opinion or share theirs.

God is love and pls don't stop praying for grace and strength.

xxx

This Kind of LOVE Cont...

On it wrote:

My sunshine, I have never stopped loving you. I went away a boy and now am a Man. A man that I am, I want another chance to do it right, to make it better and love you dearly as you deserved. 

Yours always and forever

Chijioke.

I read it again, and again and again.Precisely  four years, no contact and now this. I went through the envelope again and found his contact card saying we should  meet up. I smiled, blushed and seemingly felt WOW. I hadn't realised my hands were doing what my head wanted whilst my heart was busy screaming. I ripped the whole lot and chucked it in the bin. I switched on my light, put off the candle, took my bag and coat and left the office at 8:00 pm.
 I was knackered,  with my "To- Do -Lists", I  called Mum, called Catherine about the wedding, caught  up on my movie night and ate the meal I had been looking forward to. As if nothing ever happened, I had a shower and went to bed. I woke up to a morning of sweet sweet Sun, I love the SUN, I  am a sun person. I do prefer it warm with a cool breeze but I also don't mind it HOT as long as I my bottle of  chilled water and lotion of sunburn cream. I went to the office with a smile on my face, happy the Sun was smiling on me.  I could feel it. It loved me before and it does always as I felt the warmth on my shoulders, it was the perfect day to wear a beautiful yellow armless dress. Yum.

I walked into my office and was greeted with a bunch of flowers I thought,  "O wow, that a nice gesture, I smiled, was it a client this time around, it looked quite expensive". I am aware our clients do send expensive flowers to say "Thank you" for planning  all sorts of dinner dates, weddings, birthdays, corporate events and much more.  I took another look at it, I admired the different roses including the gorgeous smell. I read the card, it was from him. This time, I didn't chuck them away I dumped the withered ones that I got just few days before and filled the vase. It looked perfect sitting just next to the reception desk, it was much better there in comparison to my office. It does bring a glow to the reception area and it should attract the  attention of clients. I smiled and hummed to myself and made my way to my office. This time it was a feel good smile, you have to try harder was my thought,  and I closed the door.

It was a pretty hectic day and with loads of meetings. I certainly wasn't expecting to see anyone that was not booked in but I did. I saw the man himself, the one behind the notes and the flowers. Goodness, he looked dashing, I can't fault him. He looked the part and dressed the part and surprisingly more handsome, quite huge too. My hands were sweaty, heart racing, No  make it " thumping and hyperventilating" but I had to play it cool.

I caressed  my dress with both my hands  proceeded to address his name Mr ... I wasn't to finish the sentence, a bear hug had greeted me. I stood there stunned and responded with a lame and weak hug but that should do. I gently removed myself from the bear hug, gestured towards the sit in front of me and I opened my mouth to talk more. Next I knew, he was on his knees, his words "You don't have to say anything, in fact don't say anything.  I  have loved you everyday of my life but I knew I was not ready to be what you wanted us to be, I felt I needed to be a certain standard to be with you  and my perfect excuse was,  I didn't want to hold you back from all you could have. You are  a great lady, no pardon me "you are an exceptional human being with an amazing personality". I kicked myself throughout the whole time apart but I needed to grow and to be sure of what I could be for us. I prayed for you everyday, us and possibly our future and  I believed at the right time I would   come back for us. The thing is, the time  never  felt right until I made up mind about what I wanted and  without a doubt I know  it is you, us and  our future. Please find it your  heart to forgive me and come back.  I am not going anywhere, so you have no choice, well at least am hoping you don't."

I stood  there staring at him and watching  everything play out like a movie. It was dramatic, intense, I could see and sense the passion. It was just so surreal but I had to do what my head was thinking. Which was "Get OUT". I called security to intervene  and get him out. I couldn't believe I was throwing one of the finest lawyers out,  and importantly the Guy I once loved so much.  I sent him out and cried my eyes out, though I wanted him, it wouldn't be at his terms. After the episode, it took few six months of contemplating,  understanding myself and a massive dose of prayer to come to terms with the idea of "us" again. Funny thing was, I didn't anticipate I could react the way I did. Before he finally showed up, a part of me did pray about us and possibly reconnecting and that made me think  I would run  into his arms or at least be decent and actually go on dates with him. I guess my head had other plans and my mind seemed to be respond.

With all of that, he fought, o he fought. He sent letters everyday as he promised when he left my office. I read each letter and  tore it up.  Eventually, I said Yes  on my birthday. I guess my happy days came after I was convicted he was ready for me, us and our future. Was it easy to let down my barriers? Heck No. I had grown into my own woman, I had worked my way in life, fought and still fighting for what is right and just. I wouldn't want to throw it away because the love my life came back. My head said that not me but I said "life is mysterious, love does not happen all the time, we take chances, we take risks and we take time but its not everyday LOVE comes knocking back".

Marrying him on that day wasn't the best day, No. Everyday is the best day. I smile, I laugh, I cry, I giggle, I get upset, I scream, I disagree, I mourn, I display randomness, I stand my ground, I pray, I love, I cook, I plan, I chuckle, I share, I give, I submit, I withdraw, I share memories  but everyday is beautiful. It was better to wait for a Man, than to wait and marry a boy that would take a while to find his way whilst he makes indecisive decisions that will wreck our lives. I waited, I believed, I prayed and most times felt DELUDED but he felt the same way and  he came back not only for me but to FIGHT and prove I am needed. I love the feeling.

"Therefore a  man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24.

He did just that, cleaving is a process but he is doing a great job. As I sat down to write how lovely and amazing he has been to me I couldn't help but smile and think wow our KIND of LOVE is amazing. I thought writing him and sending him a Thank You letter for being a great husband and a cool dad would remind him that he is always needed and forever appreciated.

Are we gonna live happily ever after? Yes, because happiness is what you make it. It is not in material things it is in our actions, in our hearts in the way we do and practice things. We will fight, argue, disagree and love some more why: conflicts helps us to discover our likes, our boundaries and what we should do differently.
Is it easy? Yes, it is with the right person and the right intentions. Loving is easy and natural.
Will it last forever? Yes, why because nothing never dies until YOU let it.
Will things get in the way? Yes, challenges are part of the journey, it strengthens and bind the cords of love and even wax stronger. Genuine love and pure hearts can take alot and will stand through tests and trials. We intend to spend each time with God using  1st Corinthians Ch 13 4-8 as reminder of what we share and intend to show our generations.

I love to "love" and I will chose to "love" you always now and forever.

P.S. This is a fictional story  truly inspired by my creative mind and the Holy Spirit..

Thanks for reading.

God is good at being awesome and full of surprises. Never stop claiming...

xxx.

Made me better man today...

This Kind of LOVE.......

Thank you for visiting. Year of reaching Targets 2013...

Hello my beautiful blessed readers,

Its been a while since I brought you a very inspiring love story. So pls read, relax with a cup of tea, coffee or whatever you fancy.

I never knew been married would bring me this much joy and content, well I knew I would be happy but this happiness is simply indescribable.I can honestly say marriage is a gift and people that find themselves in a beautiful marriage are undoubtedly blessed. I met my then sweetheart about 6 years ago, his name Chijioke. You see we started out as friends intoxicated with one another's  company. Our friendship quickly blossomed into something quite extraordinary well to me at least. I felt I was truly living a fantasy,  "almost every girl dream". You know the meeting prince charming part and staying enchanted sort of a thing. It was magical.

We were incredibly intimate and oh by that I meant we were really close (soul to soul, bearing all the secrets). I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and feel free, I loved the " feeling" of feeling free and I believe he was also comfortable too. We had loads of fun too, we would talk about our childhood, our families and future goals. He  was mesmerised by me, he couldn't figure me out, he was sure I was certainly different in  a peculiar way. He couldn't put it in  exact words but he admitted I was rare and special (aren't we all in our own ways).  I appeared to be someone that was quite wise, outspoken, sure of herself  and mature minded for her young age. It felt as though I had figured everything out. He did used to feel he was way below my league, but I would simply brush it off and remind him he was daft to think such. I admired him, I admired his love for God, it is although not rare to see men in the house of God but he was different. He was real, he had doubts and also alot of questions but he was real and he had a strong zeal for God and his words. I recall the amazing times we would spend  chatting away about all sorts, and how we both wanted to change the world in our own little way. I was mesmerised by how "Gentlemanly" he was to me. I loved the  way he held my hands softly when we walked, the way he would  walk on my right or left depending to "supposedly" protect me, I loved the way he would whisper something silly in my ear which made me giggle most times.  The way he looked lovingly into my eyes was just so breathtaking. I  enjoyed the way he hugged me, it was very gentle and passionate. My goodness, the thoughts of  it all  sends shivers down my spine, he was my candy man in every way.

I knew falling in love was somewhat cool but this was "cooler" than cool, because  it was  genuine, awesome,  nurtured and inspired. Our time together, I cherished. I knew he had issues,I knew he had all sorts of issues from low self esteem, insecurities, indecisiveness etc but he was good to me. He treated me specially with the little he had, he was my besty. I usually lit up when I saw him coming or when he calls me. However,  things changed, as they say  "life is full of ups and downs". Chijioke, needed to grow, we were way too similar in age and he knew he wasn't ready for what I truly wanted us to end up as which of was course marriage. I never thought I would see the day we both would say a "sour" goodbye to each other, it wasn't supposed to be. Yes, we were both from different tribes but we reside "abroad" besides the world is alot more accepting and surely that could be allowed? He was a mummy's boy  but I talked myself into  believing  he would at least  fight for me, for us and for our future  that we fondly talked  about but he didn't and that hurt.  I cried, I wailed, I cried some more, my heart felt ripped, I was an emotional wreck.  I walked with tears following freely down my face, I kissed my tears to sleep most times and went to sleep empty but there came a point.  This could no longer go on, I had to accept this was a part of my life  and this beautiful dream was over. It wasn't a perfect relationship, we did quarrel but it was beautiful, it was just simply beautiful. Moving  on wasn't easy but I did, letting go of the pain wasn't easy  either but I got through, however the hardest part was trying not to remember he was real. I was so certain my future was with him and I wanted it to be, but it I had to talk myself into believing it wasn't suppose to be. Yet, I couldn't forget him, us or our memories, I knew I was deluded, simply naive and deluded to think or believe he would ever come back.

I guess faith really is amazing " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" ( Hebrews 11 vs 1). My grandma's favourite passage, she loved it and lived by it. I didn't know what the future held, I would have thought getting into relationships with other men could potentially help but it didn't. It didn't matter who the guy was, my heart and soul was somewhere else.  I kept telling myself he had to come back but at the same time I had my doubts and reservations, as they say, "life goes on".
I lived, I liked, I fancied, I laughed, I dined, I shrugged etc but I couldn't love the way I did. When you make a decision to love someone, you cant unlove them or  can you?   For me I couldn't undo the decision, it would have been easier to forget if  he was horrible to me or he was rubbish in most areas or he  was simply rude, nasty or evil but he wasn't. He can be cheeky, indecisive and very assuming but I knew he had his barriers and insecurities.  Forgiveness came easily because loving him was easy and I couldn't keep records of his wrongs, he mostly apologises and tries to be better. He wasn't like his peers, he was incredibly gentle,  approachable, helpful, supportive,  kind, respectful, honest, eloquent in writing and in speech and I love those attributes.  I really do and that wasn't all,  he also told the most unfunny jokes in the world and does the stupidest accents/mimics  ever but I LOVED it. I enjoyed the silly faces and oh  the remarks but yet it was all in my memories and I smile each time I recall them.

 I started my own business, I simply poured my spirit into it and on a day like every other day I worked hard. However, today I received a letter. It appeared in an exquisite  brown envelope with  purple rims,  it looked vintage and quite a taste. I couldn't imagine what the envelope would contain, but  I had a feeling it was more than a letter. I tried not to anticipate anything, I calmly laid it  under my things to do for the next few days, I was not going to open just yet. It had to be something I would read in a quite and relaxed atmosphere.  I was  busy  and I didn't want to treat it in a hasty manner.

In the evening, when the building was empty, I sat with my expensive china tea Mum bought  me. She is such a lover of expensive things. I lit a candle for some  reason, I guess I  felt the urge to read it in such a vintage style. I opened it carefully avoiding ripping the beautiful rims. I suppose one could assume, somebody has truly done something  out of the blue or slightly romantic. My heart skipped at the first sight of my image, I  chuckled as I took the the first look at my picture, it was a picture of me in  a vintage photograph. I was wearing a beautiful dress with a yellow hat on. I had a swift memory of the day I wore the dress to see my sweetheart, a beautiful sunny day and I was having the best times.

I turned the picture over  and on  it was written................

I will continue next time folks. I refused to write a long post this time around. Lol.

 Thanks for reading.

God is love....

One of her Random/Analytical TALK.....

Year of reaching Targets 2013!!

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for the lovely comments on my previous posts. *loves*.

As some of us may know am a thinker and an observer too and I come up with random analytical talk. Today, I have three in store for you. xxx

First:
Enemies of Progress: Simply people that are not happy that you are making an effort in life.   They either beef you, detest you, wish you wrong and evil things etc.

There are "enemies of progress" in every sphere of life.....

How do you combat them or deal with them?

Just keep doing what is right even when they think they have succeeded cos you fell once or twice or more, Don't give UP or GIVE IN.

Remember: failures or setbacks are part of the journey and testimony. So keep doing it right each time with a renewed positive mind and optimism.
You have the right to make it no matter WHAT.

Watch how your enemies of progress will praise with u and rejoice.. betterstill scoff in their own bitterness and jealousy. It does not matter.

As long as you are determined to make it and with God NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. X

Second:

No vision is permanently stopped by finances but by lack of FAITH, COURAGE and unwillingness to step out and take RISKS. UCB

REMEMBER: GOD will supply all your riches according to HIS riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Word!!!!. Phil 4: 19

Seriously, step on it, challenges will surely strengthen you and its part of your testimony. Nothing comes easy in life, if it does "it will not last long". You have to GET ON WITH IT..CA'MON...(come on)....lol. xxx

God is real and  his mercies endures forever.

Third:

CONTENTMENT: Something that is very much lacked/rare in our society today. Living in a materialistic world also doesn't help matters. Some of us feel we are entitled to things we can't afford and we will go to the extent of 'biting more than we can chew'. Its important we learn and practice 'self discipline'.

God doesn't bless 'recklessness'. UCB.

Learn the act of contentment and Stop following the CROWD. Live by your means and be sure to keep working hard to reach your goals.

In the meantime, be CONTENT AND STAY CONTENTED.  It does not meant COMFORTABLE. It just means "don't bite more than you can chew".

Have a great weekend and stay HAPPY. Dont let the gloominess of the world dampen you,  instead it should encourage you to be a solution bearer, not a complainer bearer (ah, just coined it, lol). xxx

God is love. 

Enjoy Beans Pudding (I coined it) aka Ewa Agoyin.. lol. x More pics soon

Don't watch the oil... *coversface*. The recipe calls for it. x

Quick Post and Small Motivational TALK.

Happy 2013

Year of reaching Targets.

I pray we all have something to be happy about even though things are tough. I pray we smile through the shaky grounds, through the mucky winds, through the cloudy weather, through the horrible feeling/experience and through life itself.  Life is for living and living is in Christ. X

Quick update.
I have been drinking more water, yes, morning and evening, waking up and about to sleep. Water is my best friend. I have lost couple of inches somewhere around my waist, my arm etc ( To be honest, I do think the rapid weight loss is mainly down to the annual RCCG fast every February). I attend RCCG church but I don't call myself a redeem as I often hear people refer to themselves mainly because I don't do denominations.  I do God, relationships, act of kindness and WWJD but am definitely redeemed in Christ though.
 Dont worry bloggers, you are in my prayers too. lol. xxx And testimonies shall abound therein. Hallelujah Somobory.... I try to keep up with eating my fruits weekly. I try to spice things up by trying something new, I recently tried raspberries  very sourish taste but not bad. I also ate it with double whipped cream and icing.. Kia, talk about yummy goodness.

So, I have been busy baking cakes. YES,  delicious  toffee cakes, I have had couple of orders this week so I researched, baked and sold. My mini business is taking off slowly but surely. I started baking in April 2010 originally, but never really commercialized it, however I sold to a loyal customer who usually came on year on year. I often baked for church, birthdays, children's day, friends/family etc. In a nutshell, am not working right now  and this gives me the opportunity to live out some of my dreams and be proactive about my life and decisions. My current work contract  finished and whilst looking/waiting for another job, I decided I should be proactive and do something I enjoy. I am glad am getting better with more practice, patience, research and passion. I am also offering a COMPETITION that involves  cooking a FREE DINNER for local residents in my area. Yes, am excited!!!. I am really challenging myself little by little.

I am also proud of my sis. She owns her own  make up business which has recently picked up but for  the past  few years business slowed down, WHY: Over the years, she allowed herself to soak in the negative feedback and comments from people about her work. This obviously had an effect on her self esteem and confidence in her abilities  If you knew my sister since birth, you would know she was   always energetic  very ambitious, very mischievous and so brilliant. She was amongst the youngest students at the age of 8 to write a common entrance in Nigeria and pass successfully. This happened in MAYFLOWER and  that is a pretty high standard,  though Mum struggled with the decision being young and all etc,  she went ahead to start secondary school. I remember my sis was so outspoken,  when we were much younger, she would gather all the neighbourhood  children  who had little education (whilst Mum was at work), she would use  the fisherprice board and pen we had  then to teach them ABC, 123 etc. I would wake up with random children in our sitting room shouting after my SIS. She was marvelous in her own way, she wanted to do everything. She learnt tailoring she was prolly 8 or 9 then and sewed this beautiful cloth for her doll. She also learnt how to knit, she knitted a shawl, she can do so much etc. However, things began to change, her confidence began to deplete,  low self esteem sets in and she began to lose herself etc.
Sometimes a change in environment can be good for some people whilst others might suffer major setbacks, in my sister case she did. Moving school from Ogun State to Lagos changed everything for her but am glad she is finding who she is and she is believing in herself again.

I am also happy God used me as an instrument to help her and remind her of who she used to be, the "I don't care girl and with an attitude of I can do anything". At  age 10 or 11, my sis travelled all the way unsupervised   from  Ogun St to Lagos St ( that like 3 hours journey or so, nobody knew she left school and anything could have happened )the story is too long and too funny. Lets just say my MUM died of SHOCK...... lol. I can't laugh. She left her  children in boarding house believing they are well and to see them on their own without any consent or notice. WOW. Obviously, some children do make such journeys but not where am from  at that age in Nigeria, you are suppose to be in school studying.

Back to the main point I want to highlight. People will talk, YES I do too, you and I do but don't allow that to affect you in  a negative way ( Eccless 7 21:22). Pick the constructive criticisms and let go of the negatives ones. Don't beat yourself up for too long when you make a mistake, remember its a mistake for a reason for you  to  learn and have the opportunity to be better hence, acquire ten different ways to approach a situation and still be right. Perfection is not always the goal, fulfillment is key, ensuring that you do the BEST you can in all that you do. If others don't like, its FINE no need to hold grudges or feel sad, its life, we all have preferences but do not allow the venom of others to pull you down or make you feel inadequate.

REMEMBER: God has a plan in store for you "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11.
I have always stood on this scripture since forever (well, when I knew about it), it makes me happy and keeps me content when things shake up and trials come my way. I always remember I have a future and my yesterday is my testimony and my story. I encourage us not to dwell in the mud, pick yourselves up and start challenging yourselves to a better you, to a greater purpose and fulfilling destiny.

Enjoy foodie pics. x I am allowed to eat this much CHEESE. LOL. Been fasting nah. xx
   
 This was lovely. Penne Pasta cooked in juicy Ragu tomatoe sauce and caramelized in Mozzarella and Parmesan cheese. It was cooked and baked too. x

Tag, short post and mini gist. lol.

Happy 2013

Year of reaching and accomplishing Targets..

The lovely funny Toinlicious gave me a leibster award. YAY,  and now I have to answer the following questions below.Thanks b.

The rules are:
1. Thank and link back to the giver.
2. Answer the giver’s questions.
3. Nominate five other blogs with fewer than 200 followers.
4. Ask five questions for one’s nominees to answer.
5. Post it on your blog.

Now to answer Toins  questions: (Hopefully it would be a short one ...lool. o).

1) What makes you happy and what are you passionate about?

Happiness is a choice so am not too sure, but I get happy when I sleep hahaha. Alot of things can make me happy, doing good, seeing an improvement in ones life or situations, hearing  testimonies and breakthroughs, finding a cure or a solutions, eating delicious meals, being alive and healthy.  Am passionate about quite a number of things, from my faith, to working on myself,to advocating a positive and long lasting change, to cooking,  to acting up and debating, to helping people and supporting a good gracious course, to family and encouraging people,   to learning and discovering purpose etc and oh yeah to daydreaming.lol. 

2) Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

I can't remember 5 years ago or been upset sef. I have to crack my brain for that one.  However, (none related), I recall in college, defending  a friend that got involved in  a fight and had a bottle of coke thrown in my face. Kia,I held my face dear thinking "ah, who sent me"? I knew my mum would even add salt and pepper by telling me off ofcourse. I had to go to the sick bay and all the people involved in the  fight almost got expelled. Lets just say next time a friend is fighting I will be shouting from a distance.. abeg no be my eyes they go remove. 

3) What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I can't think of an answer to the question ermmmm random, but maybe ask a guy I realllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy like that gives me gooey feeling, makes me melt all over and keeps my heart thumping like its about to pop out of my delicate chest. If I could I wouldn't mind asking him on a date or so. Oooo the fine dudes I have fancied. lol. .. "covers face" but yeah... warra shame though. I have too much pride and respect, cant do it and will NEVER DO IT. Thank you very much. The Guy should the chasing and calling around abeg o. Tradition still stands. pere.

4) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Smile more. if i could say one more, pls poo less too. lol. hahahaha

5) Would you break the law to save a loved one?

ish.... that one is tough but hmmmmmmm.... breaking law isn't right but saving a loved one is essential so... 

My five questions?

1) Five amazing things you recall from your childhood?

2) Your favourite method of asking someone else for something you would like or help you desire?

3) What makes you giggle or laugh the most?

4)What you would like to change about the world?

5)Challenges you look forward to  overcoming and accomplishing?

My five tags are: Have fun. xxx

1. UG.... you need to blog more nah. I miss them stories. lol. x

2. AY

3.Okeoghene

4.Sykik

5.Luciano

Thank you all for reading.

I pray God sees us through all our endeavours. xoxo

Weekend, Busy, Food and Fun.....

Happy 2013!!!

Year of reaching Targets.

Hello My Beautiful people,

Have you missed me... YES.

I have missed you too, pls pardon my silence I have been busy and still busy sef but last weekend was not only tiring but it was fun. I hosted my FIRST DINNER. Yes, I did it in honour of my troublesome friend lol, it is her birthday next month and we thought why not do something small. I talked abit about her on this post Click here. x
 I guessed I also used the opportunity to put my cooking  skills to test nah. lol. We had fun and I must say hosting and organizing a parry for someone is hardwork. I doubt I will do this again except if am being paid or doing for my family. In a nutshell, I uploaded some pics of the day. Btw, I got a new camera and I would you to check out my new fb page.

Enjoy the pics and I will soon upload my other posts that I have been dreaming of writing. xoxo
I baked this luscious, delicious, scrumptious toffee layered cake, graced in cream cheese and decorated with chocolate curls for my friend. It was finished on the day.  She couldn't take none home. *Sad face*

Enjoy.

                                                My friend and I. Weavebaybee

Dinner I made 

The efo elogusi was for my friend, I made this a day before the dinner ting. She loves it.  I also used spring greens not spinach.

Its funny how I said I will be eating less meats this year.. Until my doc friend told me that it not fatty oo and also need to watch the type of meat I buy. But Efo elegusi is not authentic without assorted meats in it. Alie. 

P.S. You can also visit and like my new foodie page Here

My friend is a hair addict and weave freak: find her on 

Facebook

Twitter

Thank you for visiting.. LOVE you loads.

God is love. xxxx

New Year Resolutions vs My view..

2013 Year of meeting Targets....

Welcome to my space, my zone, my chill out space, my banter room and my cool area. lol. x

Dear lovelies, 

I hope you are well and  taking on the challenges and the excitements 2013 has in store.. YAY.... Punches the air. 

Back to the post, so this post is about  the topic at the top lol. DUH. On a serious level, I am not a big fan of New Year Resolutions in fact am not a fan at all. I think I once followed the bandwagon, I can't remember what it was I said I would do differently but yeah, I tried it only because people were doing it. 

Whilst I advocate meeting targets, I think that the New Year Resolutions has a reputation for not lasting long. Haha. Its only happens in January and afterwards it all back to old school i.e. old habits. 

Personally, I advocate growth, learning, development, reflection, change for the best and above all being better than yesterday whether its in character, mentality, behaviour etc etc. So for me, because I know am keen on growing and developing, I rather term it "Another opportunity to learn". Seeing I belong to a school of thought that we can never get enough of learning, I chose to allow myself to adopt better strategies to improve my well being and mental state.

Whilst I don't  call this, a lists of things to do per say, these are core areas am keen to work on and develop for the better. I intend on maintaining  it too, not only because its good at the moment but because it is the right thing to accommodate and emulate as a result I am able to be an example not only to people around me but to my family yes ke, my little darlings (am thinking two sweetcakes and one adopted)YAY. I want hubby to also see that am a woman of actions not only by words.

P.S. THIS IS NOT A NEW YEAR RESOLUTION. Its an opportunity to learn and be better. Sorry had to clarify. x

In no particular order:

• My posture: This is really harddd at the moment, but I would like to improve my posture. I slouch quite alot not because I want to, but because over the years my body has gotten used to it and having a blessed  front view i.e. boobs from a tender age didn't help at all, esp wearing the wrong bra that does not strap properly to adjust  to your shape and body.  Tips: Parents pls if your young ladies have started growing coco early (as they say in niaj), I will recommend investing  in good trainee bras and ensure they  feel comfortable with it plus monitor their progress not obsessively but encouragingly. Whilst my posture is not horrible, it can be better. Its hard work but sitting up straight is so elegant, makes my tummy alot flatter and far more rewarding to the spine and  in old age.

• Tea: I enjoy drinking herbal tea, I think it has a lot of benefits all around, from cancer, to digestion, to all sorts, pls use Google  I currently drink green tea with different flavours, chamomile  ginger etc. I usually drank tea at work but now am taking it home with me. I must ensure my waistline is purged from all  sorts of impurities not only from the food but from wherever.. lol.

• Vital supplements: Thank God for my Mum, who always insisted I buy cod liver and vitamin C etc. In fact, ever since I remember she always gave us this when its time for bed etc. I can't stress the magical power of these tablets. Its not expensive and its provides longer and better conditions for your body. I tend to have mine three times a week. Although, I was not keen on it in the past, now I ensure its part of my constant routine.

• Fruits: I do eat fruits, but I can go for weeks  in some cases without having any. Whilst this is not always the case as I munch on little berries, banana and pineapple in my cereal. I eat wholemeal cereal with all sorts of goodies. I will attempt to have fruits at home to snack on. Its even more fun when I get creative with it. I aim to eat different types of fruits every month, and gradually increase to every week.

• Meats: This I recently added to my lists, as I looked at my increase in waistline. I have decided that I will eat less meats yep, saturated or not. I am cutting down dramatically  lol. That is my observation and no more eating out for a while. We can't comprehend the amount of preservatives all these meats etc have, I think for me my body needs a break from it  all. I will incorporate more fish, more nuts,  healthy variety of different versions  to rice etc. 

• Proactive: I believe I should be more proactive in what I do. In my faith, my lifestyle, my mental state, physical, spiritual, financial etc. I already put thoughts into all I do but I think I should constantly be aware of opportunities around me and aim to demonstrate key learning curves. 

Finally, I hope to make more impact in a positive light. I already do but I don't think I challenge myself enough but I am learning to cast down through the grace of God, all STRONG HOLDS from the mind.  Its about time we take charge and start fighting back what is ours. ENOUGH LIES, ENOUGH EXCUSES and ENOUGH BLAME. Get on with you and your life, time waits for no man (ministering to myself). x

One more secrets, its confirmed AMEN, I am going natural in July/August 2013 by His grace. 

Feast your eyes on these beauties. I love being creative with food.x If you want the recipe, let me know. x

I added shredded coconut, crushed chilli, cumin and paprika. It was delicious.. lol. 

 I am sorry, I look like a  mummy... lol.  One of our Sunday School children celebrated her bday. Boy, I could have posed better. Seriously, children grow really fast, I recall when she was still two years old. awww...

Be good to yourself. God is awesome. x

Last Day to New Year.....2013.. Whoop..

Thank you for visiting.
 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello my Blogsville friends,

I hope we are enjoying our Christmas holls(sad face @ the sad news) we have alot to be thankful for.

I have been jamming with the fam...aww. I even showed Mum my blog and some of my posts and my blogsville friend *chuckles*..lol... She keeps calling me Daughter of A KING.. I had to keep correcting her. It fun time so far, watching movies, reminiscing on old times, shopping, eating and just having a good old laugh together. I love my Mum (smiles), she is cute and adorable now that she is getting older....  I pray God continues to keep her  strong and healthy (AMEN). I would really like to make it worth her while. She is one of the most   actually the most reliable, consistent and amazing human being I have ever come to know.
Her kindness, warm-hearted spirit, affection, compassion, love, wisdom, politeness, respect and care hasn't changed since I knew her  (from birth of course lol), if anything she has grown to be better and more open-minded. She is an inspiration to me.

I didn't intend to blog about my Mum, it just so happens. If anything I wanted to say a little something,  I told you before I always updated my FB with banters. lol. I will like to post the words of encouragement I updated on my status.

So the Year is coming to an end. For some of us, we are excited and looking forward to 2013. While some of us feel dejected, emotionally bruised, mentally exhausted, financially crippled and withdrawn.

We don't feel happy or encouraged to go further. Although I advocate admitting to past failures and  mistakes  and  even reflecting to be better. I also encourage positivity, optimism, renewal of mind and most importantly FAITH.

You might have given up on you and the situation. Remember God hasn't, your victory is in your belief and mind. Learn to give thanks  and  praise in the bad and  see how God will manifest.

Take courage, in all we do lets be anxious for nothing but in everything by our prayers and supplications with thanksgiving, let our requests be known, and the PEACE of God will guard our hearts and minds. Amen. Phil 4:6-7. X

Nobody has it easy, although some of us face severe and extreme situations.Life is tough for a reason.

Remember: Whatever situation you  might be facing, you will not be the first nor the last person to go through it. Life is like a circle. Pls there is nothing NEW under sun (read Ecclesiastes). Pls don't encourage self-pity instead embrace confidence, love and liberty through  which JESUS freely gives. x

HERE is to 2013.. uncountable portion of anointing  blessings, protection, healing, good health, laughter, free spirit, unmeasurable favour, increase and ENRICHED LIVES.... Most importantly, saved souls. AMEN.

God is good all the time. xx

I shall be breaking into my New Years via Night Vigil. YAY....

Stay Blessed People.

Stay Gorgeous

                                   Thats me doing a fashion modelling tingy..xxx