Monday 31 December 2012

Last Day to New Year.....2013.. Whoop..

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Hello my Blogsville friends,

I hope we are enjoying our Christmas holls(sad face @ the sad news) we have alot to be thankful for.

I have been jamming with the fam...aww. I even showed Mum my blog and some of my posts and my blogsville friend *chuckles* She keeps calling me Daughter of A KING.. I had to keep correcting her. It fun time so far, watching movies, reminiscing on old times, shopping, eating and just having a good old laugh together. I love my Mum (smiles), she is cute and adorable now that she is getting older....  I pray God continues to keep her  strong and healthy (AMEN). I would really like to make it worth her while. She is one of the most   actually the most reliable, consistent and amazing human being I have ever come to know.
Her kindness, warm-hearted spirit, affection, compassion, love, wisdom, politeness, respect and care hasn't changed since I knew her  (from birth of course lol), if anything she has grown to be better and more open-minded. She is an inspiration to me.

I didn't intend to blog about my Mum, it just so happens. If anything I wanted to say a little something,  I told you before I always updated my FB with banters. lol. I will like to post the words of encouragement I updated on my status.

So the Year is coming to an end. For some of us, we are excited and looking forward to 2013. While some of us feel dejected, emotionally bruised, mentally exhausted, financially crippled and withdrawn.

We don't feel happy or encouraged to go further. Although I advocate admitting to past failures and  mistakes  and  even reflecting to be better. I also encourage positivity, optimism, renewal of mind and most importantly FAITH.

You might have given up on you and the situation. Remember God hasn't, your victory is in your belief and mind. Learn to give thanks  and  praise in the bad and  see how God will manifest.

Take courage, in all we do lets be anxious for nothing but in everything by our prayers and supplications with thanksgiving, let our requests be known, and the PEACE of God will guard our hearts and minds. Amen. Phil 4:6-7. X

Nobody has it easy, although some of us face severe and extreme situations.Life is tough for a reason.

Remember: Whatever situation you  might be facing, you will not be the first nor the last person to go through it. Life is like a circle. Pls there is nothing NEW under sun (read Ecclesiastes). Pls don't encourage self-pity instead embrace confidence, love and liberty through  which JESUS freely gives. x

HERE is to 2013.. uncountable portion of anointing  blessings, protection, healing, good health, laughter, free spirit, unmeasurable favour, increase and ENRICHED LIVES.... Most importantly, saved souls. AMEN.

God is good all the time. xx

I shall be breaking into my New Years via Night Vigil. YAY....

Stay Blessed People.

Stay Gorgeous
                                   Thats me doing a fashion modelling

Sunday 23 December 2012

The Special Christmas Gift.....

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Hello Everyone..... waving with love.. I hope we are well and having a fab time, prepping for Christmas and all. I am with my family spending time with them. I baked my Mum a surprised cake, lol, she didnt see that coming.

Back to the title.... today I will be sharing an interesting touchy story so pls grab a hot cup of cocoa, tea or smoothie..YAY..

How DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU? Woman, keep walking, you cant stay here, keep moving you cant stay here. I need to rest, I need to sit down, the pain  I felt was incomprehensible, all I wanted to do was sit down,  have a cup of water and sleep yet I keep hearing an angry strong voice saying you cant stay here.You MUST LEAVE.

As I struggled to block out the yelling,  I found myself reacting to the soft palm touching and feeling my face. It was the lovely hands of my hubby. I tried to open my eyes to allow more vision, he looked concerned and  I noticed my left hand was holding my belly.  The neighbours  are at it again. Is it contraction time? Hubby said with an enthusiastic voice and a worried smile. I immediately reacted to his concern, saying I think so.  I keep feeling pain, I am pretty sure I had a dream. The pain I felt  immediately  after the statement reaffirmed hubby is concern, I was ready to pop. Our Christmas gift is coming early. I remember moaning, groaning, hoping and grinding my teeth to the car. I must say  hubby  was swift for the day, he quickly grabbed my preggie bag, called our doctor and was ready to take us to the hospital.

It was a long journey of panting, pushing, cursing and constant moaning  but eventually  Ayooluwa, Opeoluwa Grace Stevens  was here, at exactly 9:30 am on  Christmas Eve.  It was an emotional and sweet   moment, one I can't express but I knew  our cup was full alright. I haven't told you the years it took us to get here but God did it, he surprised us and gave us joy that knows no bounds. Everything about her birth was miraculous, although we wanted the celebration to be small it turned out big. The baby ceremony was grand, the Sunday thanksgiving was grand, everything around us was just grand and I was full of joy. I couldn't express it all, I remain grateful to all that supported, prayed, encouraged and helped throughout the journey. I remain especially grateful to God during this time. However, I didn't know our  recent joy will test our faith beyond words.

Brief intro into our lives, I got married to my one and only sweetheart, yes we had been together since our teenage years, started off as friends but eventually grew into a blossoming relationship. We had been friends since I was thirteen and he was sixteen. I was able, with permission from my parents to enter into a relationship at 18. I had to consult my parents on most things not only because I felt they had wisdom to offer me but they both made it comfortable for me to ask for advice and  they both ensured I took precautions.  Myself and hubby courted for couple of years, he proposed when I was 21 and we got married  a year later. It was a joyful moment, we were both our first and I must say we were quite open about how daunting it will be at first but we were alright in the end.

When we started to get serious, I knew hubby would go into ministry and I was not surprised when he said he felt that God is calling him into ministry.  During the time we courted, we discussed various issues including child bearing and I remember saying it innocently that if we happen to have any issues conceiving, I would never say NO to our marriage. Hubby nodded in agreement  and banished the thought of that happening. It did happen, we both struggled to conceive, months went by, years went by and we saw and experienced  the joy of parenting  with other people who got married later much later than us. I was 32 when I finally got pregnant and it was a shock and unexpected moment that myself and hubby could not fathom it. We hadn't given up hope, we just decided we wouldn't allow this situation to ruin us as individuals although we felt pain, we learnt  over the years, the importance of  counting  our blessings. Each time we felt a  sting of unhappiness, we immediately chose to count our blessings and remain thankful and faithful.
While I ponder on the wonderful gift God blessed us with, I couldn't help but think that this definitely didn't happen by chance or luck nor did it happen because of our faithfulness as there were times we blamed ourselves and sought alternatives but nothing came to avail. In the end, we went back our knees to God for help and direction and we decided to remain happy regardless.

It was exactly 18 months when I noticed something was not right with our daughter. It was  a  reaction I was keen to explore although hubby thought I was overeating  On getting to the doctors and receiving the diagnosis of what we  were not prepared for, we were told she had a severe illness that is affecting her  body, muscles,  breathing etc. I couldn't understand the sickness and what it was about, all I knew was our  beautiful  lives was turned around in space of few mins. From then on, it was appointments after appointments, hospital visits, hospital stay over etc. Everything I did was centered around our baby making sure she was well and better but instead the situation got progressively worse. It got to  the point where I was sleeping at the hospital against the rules, I was yelling at nurses whom   I felt were not doing enough for our  daughter or understood our  misery.

Life became sour again, it felt as though what brought us  the joy we  longed for is also bringing us  the sorrow we never longed for. I took the frustrations out on  hubby, I felt he was not doing enough, he was not feeling the pain I felt. How accused him of being selfish, insensitive and unaware. I stopped helping with the ministry altogether and devoted my to our baby. During this time, hubby took the fault, the blame, took all the insults and to top it all of, I did no cooking, no cleaning. NOTHING. I left all, all I ever wanted was our baby to come home well and alive. I couldn't see myself, I became I shadow of myself.

I recall coming home after my thousands of visits to the hospital and crying one of my many tears  asking God why he had allowed this to happen and why he felt the need to punish us. I was in tears and anguish, when I fell asleep. I was having the conversation again, asking God why he allowed such to happen to us and why he wasn't fighting the battle. I was still crying and weeping asking questions but all of a sudden, I felt the  need to be quiet. During the silence, was when I was able to see my Mother  which was very weird, she held my hands and comforted me with her advice. She said  "why worry? when you can pray? The battle isn't yours to fight, it is God. He is the giver and taker of life. You have fought with your own power where has it taken you? It was during this time, I pondered and asked  myself  why I had fought with everyone around me, making them the issue and blaming them. I was fighting with God and even with myself. I woke  up to what felt like a long sleep but it was quite short.  I decided from that minute, I would be better and improve. For  the first time in months since the illness, I made a decision to allow God who gave her to us to take charge. I told myself this situation will not ruin us, me, our family and our  marriage but I will learn to  count my blessings and do my part. Through  the day, I gathered courage to pray and ask for strength to remain positive, cheerful and thankful.

I took a look at the mirror for the first time in months  and who I saw was not me. I looked dead, my eyes, my hair, my face and body were just not mine. I had not been eating and am sure my baby would not be happy to see me in this state.  I shook my head and I felt within me things cant go on like this, I have to change and I must change for the best. If I lose myself into this situation that I have no control over, I will  lose my sanity and all that I have working for me. I immediately booked myself full body  massage, got a cleaner to help clean the house and went food shopping.

Hubby got home to a clean house, clean wife and ready made food, that day I decided to allow God comfort our baby and would try to increase my level of attention to other areas of my life that I know needs it too. He was too shock for words at the sight of me and all he could do was go on his knees to praise  and thank God.  He kept on asking what happened to me, I shared my dream with him and he said it had to be God working. That night,  we ate together, had a laugh together,  he told me he dropped by the hospital to say hello to the doctor. I asked if he saw our baby, he said he did and always does every time. He explained each time he came, he would see the doctor to request about the progress of her health. He knew deep down seeing her in the state was painful but he knew he had to be strong for her. He also knew God was not done with our case yet. All this time, I had been jabbing him for not coming to see her, I didn't know he did that silently. Each time he came and he saw me  with her, he would say a silent prayer and he would go home  to clean and cook for us, the food I rarely ate. He said, he  knew in his heart nothing he said helped because the more he was positive the more I damped his spirit by cursing, yelling, accusing and insulting. He figured there would be peace if he kept silent and continue to pray and keep the faith alive.

He was right, all the positive words and prayers fell on deaf hears if anything I would accuse him of being insensitive. That night we talked like we used to and we communicated deeply. We  had missed each other so much and I had missed him and forgotten I had a really cool friend I could talk to and share things with.  I couldn't believe I distanced  myself,  I strongly   know for certain that I have a great husband who is supportive, helpful and caring.  We were both happy we had our heartfelt discussion, we prayed that night and we also did ahem ahem  you know, the whole intimacy thing. *winks*. Goodness we both  were starved it was unbelievable how much we had missed each other comfort.

 I was still sore but I knew  I  had to allow myself to give it all to God. The next day I went to visit our baby, this time I had on my nicest dress and smile and was lovely towards the nurses, who in turn were surprised to see me in a good state. That day, we had good news, that she was alot better and responding well to the treatments. Amazing or What?

Its a  year later and  we holding our twins and celebrating the birthday of our baby girl. Its been a roller coaster but we got through by YAWEH's  grace. Our  Ayooluwa meaning the Joy of the Lord,  is stronger, healthier and healing well.

As I count my blessings again this year, I have realised  that in hard times  and when things are out of our control, as hard as it seems we cant allow it to consume us. Consuming us would mean the need for us to be strong and continue to live is  taken away by the situation. I also know that I cant comprehend the plan God has for our lives.  It seemed unfair at the time the way everything happened but I am grateful it did because it showed me who was in control of EVERYTHING and how I am only an instrument to be use for HIS GLORY. I celebrate the joy of overcoming, I celebrate the joy of understanding deeper things in life, I celebrate the joy of experiencing the ups and downs, I celebrate my home and my desire to continue to make God our leader, number 1 and our pillar and most importantly I celebrate the special Christmas gifts God  has blessed us with.

This is a fictional story, inspired by the Holy Spirit. Any correlation to real life incidents is purely coincidental.

In life, I have learnt even when our hearts desires are met, they are still obstacles on the way that is purposely there to help us build ur  character and trust in God. This season as we celebrate the love of life, the love of generosity,   thanksgiving,  togetherness and the love of our Saviour JESUS.  I pray the Lord will surprise us with the best Christmas gifts. xxx

Have a WONDERFUL Christmas and a BLESSED Purpose driven and Purpose filled New YEAR.

I appreciate all  the comments, new and old followers and the  constant visits to  my blog. I pray your lives will forever be blessed..

On a lighter note, check out the toffee layered cake, grazed with golden caramel strings, I made for work..  It went down well. Thank God.

   I tried small. lol.
                        Lol..... I thought I should throw in my pic too lool.  The hair is mine too lol.. xxxx

Sunday 9 December 2012

Observations in its Finest.. Part 2

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Hello World,

I hope we are all faring well.

Quick update

I am hoping this post will not have a part 3 lol.
Ok,  so far am good No am BLESSED and thankful for all the months of protection, provision, growth, development, sustenance and uncountable blessings from my Heavily Father upon my family, friends, blogsville and many more. This month is a thankful month and I am happy I will always be THANKFUL, the fact am able to BREATH sef is a blessing. If you don't feel thankful at all, well its a massive SHAME.

I am also thankful  for My Pastor MRS.... She is ALIVE and full of ENERGY. Despite all, imagine ovarian cancer over the cause of few months, she ran  for cancer research (race for life) prior to the diagnosis this summer after the run (sighs) . Unimaginable, but am glad she LIVED to tell the TESTIMONY Because God showed his power and baffled the doctors. They found water instead of  a MASS when they opened her up, this is after God told our Pastor Mr to administer holy communion to her every night. I like my Pastor MRS she is friendly, warm and sweet. Always hugging and pecking away. She definitely gave me masses of hugs during my emotional roller coaster with the dude of the past".lol(all distant memory, thank you Lord). To top it all of, during the early times of diagnosis  she came to church helped out even preached sef when Pastor Mr traveled anyhoo we would not have guessed.
 I don't wish cancer on ANYBODY and trust me I was quick and Bold to stand up clapping and just showing gratitude whilst she shared her awesome testimony over night vigil). Being sick is not FUN oo. So pls be thankful. xxxx I extend the JOY  the Lord gave her to all  of us that  are seeking and desiring the day to share our own testimony. AMEN. xxx (I love my PASTORS, they are great examples, warm and kind people).

7. Managing your Expectations Positively:  Its  important to understand that expectations will always come either through the person attitude or through our own attitude.We are humans, whether we approve or not, we will consciously or subconsciously place people on a pedal stool(some of us don't) or have a degree of expectations about something we are proactively engaged in e.g. relationships. Now, its essential we understand that managing our expectations positively is not only healthy but it is essential to our emotional well being.
What am I saying? Humans are undeniably full of faults that are usually out of our control and our abilities. The sooner we understand that managing our expectations is not only empowering, it is also encouraging as it fosters the ability to be rational and remain mature in approaching or dealing with situations. It also helps us not to get over ourselves by deluding  ourselves through all sorts instead it should help to put things into real and positive perspectives.  I think for me, I just mentally gear myself to appreciate all life has to offer, the good, the bad and the ugly. I believe people are capable of WHATEVER so therefore I try not to get excited or overly protective about things that am unable to control one of them being humans. Besides, we are encouraged not to put our trust in princes or men. Meaning for me, don't allow yourself to get soaked in and if you do, o well. Besides, life experiences has  taught me to take everything with a pinch of salt and always be open to any ideas that could possibly occur.  Nobody is above mistakes and we are all capable of messing up or better still being MESSED UP.

Note:  Understand this, the only expectations people can have of you are the ones you offer likewise the only expectations you can expect from others are the ones they PORTRAY (so lets  keep it  REAL always).

8. Privilege Vs Duty: I believe it pays more to view a place of a service as a privilege rather than a Duty. Why: It motivates us to to do our best when we understand this is a privilege  not our right or by our doing. Besides, not only does it  humble us, it should remind us that there are tons of people waiting and looking to do a better job with our privileges ( wow, am ministering  to me oo)

9. Owing your Happiness to another:  When we begin to delude ourselves that seeking happiness from various places will sustain us or keep us sane is not only the beginning of Hot madness  it is the beginning of a long lonely road. Why: Happiness is a decision, to chose to happy in spite  all is something that is truly inspirational and keeps one grounded when things go wrong or does not seem right. Life has bumps, loads of it too and if we can't  find a small happiness in the bumps am not so sure if what we seek will give us sustainable happiness either. Am not saying having our heart desires fulfilled wont make us happy, it so will but choosing to be happy before helps one to happily appreciate the blessings that adds to our already overflowing joy.
 I also don't think its right or fair to owe our happiness to another spouse. Yes, I don't believe another individuals should be made to feel responsible for our own happiness. It not only UNFAIR, its inconsiderate and unrealistic, and purely delusional. Why: Humans are dynamic in nature, we are a breed of selfishness and deception (I pray we will not meet people with such traits or be one ourselves and if we are May God and Jesus Blood deliver and cleanse our spirits), humans feelings are unstable and unreliable. Based on that, it better we chose to be happy regardless. Don't get me wrong am not saying people shouldn't make us feel happy, am saying we should not place our NEED to be happy on them.

10. The Comparison Syndrome: (Inspired by my daily devotional guide UCB, its a MUST Have, a great blessing).   UCB "When you keep comparing yourself with others, you are denied a SENSE of accomplishment because you have made the benchmark to be like somebody else (WORD, thought provoking). Ponder on it. xx

My bits: We live in a society where oppression and repression very much exists and dominates. For some this is our story, for some others it not yet and for some others it is yet to be. Due to our inability to comprehend that we are also made to make an impact some of us chose to compare ourselves with others without much consideration to deeper stuffs. Some of us compare ourselves without considering  the circumstances surrounding the person success.  We are so focused on that "comparison syndrome  that we forget to reach out to our own innermost treasure and allow ourselves to appreciate us, celebrate our talents and aim to reach for a higher, healthy goal that will make a positive impact too. We all have different skills and roles to play and I encourage us to start doing it and Almighty Heavenly Father will see us all through.

P.S. My friend says am a "Strategic Thinker" because of my thought provoking posts. Lol. I dont know about that one oo. But I guess it a good compliment, besides have been complimented to write a BOOK. LOL. Will see..... my prayer is to continue to walk fervently with the Lord and not fall, fail or flutter and if I ever do ( I reject in Jesus Name. Amen.), I will learn from it and BOUNCE BACK. But, there are some expensive mistakes sha, you just want to

Have fashionably blessed Week. Xxxx

Remember: life is a continuous learning process and character building is the EVIDENCE.

God is love, He encouraged us to love thy neighbour as thy self. Hardwork but o well, I will keep trying. xxxx

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