Monday 31 December 2012

Last Day to New Year.....2013.. Whoop..

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello my Blogsville friends,

I hope we are enjoying our Christmas holls(sad face @ the sad news) we have alot to be thankful for.

I have been jamming with the fam...aww. I even showed Mum my blog and some of my posts and my blogsville friend *chuckles* She keeps calling me Daughter of A KING.. I had to keep correcting her. It fun time so far, watching movies, reminiscing on old times, shopping, eating and just having a good old laugh together. I love my Mum (smiles), she is cute and adorable now that she is getting older....  I pray God continues to keep her  strong and healthy (AMEN). I would really like to make it worth her while. She is one of the most   actually the most reliable, consistent and amazing human being I have ever come to know.
Her kindness, warm-hearted spirit, affection, compassion, love, wisdom, politeness, respect and care hasn't changed since I knew her  (from birth of course lol), if anything she has grown to be better and more open-minded. She is an inspiration to me.

I didn't intend to blog about my Mum, it just so happens. If anything I wanted to say a little something,  I told you before I always updated my FB with banters. lol. I will like to post the words of encouragement I updated on my status.

So the Year is coming to an end. For some of us, we are excited and looking forward to 2013. While some of us feel dejected, emotionally bruised, mentally exhausted, financially crippled and withdrawn.

We don't feel happy or encouraged to go further. Although I advocate admitting to past failures and  mistakes  and  even reflecting to be better. I also encourage positivity, optimism, renewal of mind and most importantly FAITH.

You might have given up on you and the situation. Remember God hasn't, your victory is in your belief and mind. Learn to give thanks  and  praise in the bad and  see how God will manifest.

Take courage, in all we do lets be anxious for nothing but in everything by our prayers and supplications with thanksgiving, let our requests be known, and the PEACE of God will guard our hearts and minds. Amen. Phil 4:6-7. X

Nobody has it easy, although some of us face severe and extreme situations.Life is tough for a reason.

Remember: Whatever situation you  might be facing, you will not be the first nor the last person to go through it. Life is like a circle. Pls there is nothing NEW under sun (read Ecclesiastes). Pls don't encourage self-pity instead embrace confidence, love and liberty through  which JESUS freely gives. x

HERE is to 2013.. uncountable portion of anointing  blessings, protection, healing, good health, laughter, free spirit, unmeasurable favour, increase and ENRICHED LIVES.... Most importantly, saved souls. AMEN.

God is good all the time. xx

I shall be breaking into my New Years via Night Vigil. YAY....

Stay Blessed People.

Stay Gorgeous
                                   Thats me doing a fashion modelling

Sunday 23 December 2012

The Special Christmas Gift.....

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone..... waving with love.. I hope we are well and having a fab time, prepping for Christmas and all. I am with my family spending time with them. I baked my Mum a surprised cake, lol, she didnt see that coming.

Back to the title.... today I will be sharing an interesting touchy story so pls grab a hot cup of cocoa, tea or smoothie..YAY..

How DARE YOU? HOW DARE YOU? Woman, keep walking, you cant stay here, keep moving you cant stay here. I need to rest, I need to sit down, the pain  I felt was incomprehensible, all I wanted to do was sit down,  have a cup of water and sleep yet I keep hearing an angry strong voice saying you cant stay here.You MUST LEAVE.

As I struggled to block out the yelling,  I found myself reacting to the soft palm touching and feeling my face. It was the lovely hands of my hubby. I tried to open my eyes to allow more vision, he looked concerned and  I noticed my left hand was holding my belly.  The neighbours  are at it again. Is it contraction time? Hubby said with an enthusiastic voice and a worried smile. I immediately reacted to his concern, saying I think so.  I keep feeling pain, I am pretty sure I had a dream. The pain I felt  immediately  after the statement reaffirmed hubby is concern, I was ready to pop. Our Christmas gift is coming early. I remember moaning, groaning, hoping and grinding my teeth to the car. I must say  hubby  was swift for the day, he quickly grabbed my preggie bag, called our doctor and was ready to take us to the hospital.

It was a long journey of panting, pushing, cursing and constant moaning  but eventually  Ayooluwa, Opeoluwa Grace Stevens  was here, at exactly 9:30 am on  Christmas Eve.  It was an emotional and sweet   moment, one I can't express but I knew  our cup was full alright. I haven't told you the years it took us to get here but God did it, he surprised us and gave us joy that knows no bounds. Everything about her birth was miraculous, although we wanted the celebration to be small it turned out big. The baby ceremony was grand, the Sunday thanksgiving was grand, everything around us was just grand and I was full of joy. I couldn't express it all, I remain grateful to all that supported, prayed, encouraged and helped throughout the journey. I remain especially grateful to God during this time. However, I didn't know our  recent joy will test our faith beyond words.

Brief intro into our lives, I got married to my one and only sweetheart, yes we had been together since our teenage years, started off as friends but eventually grew into a blossoming relationship. We had been friends since I was thirteen and he was sixteen. I was able, with permission from my parents to enter into a relationship at 18. I had to consult my parents on most things not only because I felt they had wisdom to offer me but they both made it comfortable for me to ask for advice and  they both ensured I took precautions.  Myself and hubby courted for couple of years, he proposed when I was 21 and we got married  a year later. It was a joyful moment, we were both our first and I must say we were quite open about how daunting it will be at first but we were alright in the end.

When we started to get serious, I knew hubby would go into ministry and I was not surprised when he said he felt that God is calling him into ministry.  During the time we courted, we discussed various issues including child bearing and I remember saying it innocently that if we happen to have any issues conceiving, I would never say NO to our marriage. Hubby nodded in agreement  and banished the thought of that happening. It did happen, we both struggled to conceive, months went by, years went by and we saw and experienced  the joy of parenting  with other people who got married later much later than us. I was 32 when I finally got pregnant and it was a shock and unexpected moment that myself and hubby could not fathom it. We hadn't given up hope, we just decided we wouldn't allow this situation to ruin us as individuals although we felt pain, we learnt  over the years, the importance of  counting  our blessings. Each time we felt a  sting of unhappiness, we immediately chose to count our blessings and remain thankful and faithful.
While I ponder on the wonderful gift God blessed us with, I couldn't help but think that this definitely didn't happen by chance or luck nor did it happen because of our faithfulness as there were times we blamed ourselves and sought alternatives but nothing came to avail. In the end, we went back our knees to God for help and direction and we decided to remain happy regardless.

It was exactly 18 months when I noticed something was not right with our daughter. It was  a  reaction I was keen to explore although hubby thought I was overeating  On getting to the doctors and receiving the diagnosis of what we  were not prepared for, we were told she had a severe illness that is affecting her  body, muscles,  breathing etc. I couldn't understand the sickness and what it was about, all I knew was our  beautiful  lives was turned around in space of few mins. From then on, it was appointments after appointments, hospital visits, hospital stay over etc. Everything I did was centered around our baby making sure she was well and better but instead the situation got progressively worse. It got to  the point where I was sleeping at the hospital against the rules, I was yelling at nurses whom   I felt were not doing enough for our  daughter or understood our  misery.

Life became sour again, it felt as though what brought us  the joy we  longed for is also bringing us  the sorrow we never longed for. I took the frustrations out on  hubby, I felt he was not doing enough, he was not feeling the pain I felt. How accused him of being selfish, insensitive and unaware. I stopped helping with the ministry altogether and devoted my to our baby. During this time, hubby took the fault, the blame, took all the insults and to top it all of, I did no cooking, no cleaning. NOTHING. I left all, all I ever wanted was our baby to come home well and alive. I couldn't see myself, I became I shadow of myself.

I recall coming home after my thousands of visits to the hospital and crying one of my many tears  asking God why he had allowed this to happen and why he felt the need to punish us. I was in tears and anguish, when I fell asleep. I was having the conversation again, asking God why he allowed such to happen to us and why he wasn't fighting the battle. I was still crying and weeping asking questions but all of a sudden, I felt the  need to be quiet. During the silence, was when I was able to see my Mother  which was very weird, she held my hands and comforted me with her advice. She said  "why worry? when you can pray? The battle isn't yours to fight, it is God. He is the giver and taker of life. You have fought with your own power where has it taken you? It was during this time, I pondered and asked  myself  why I had fought with everyone around me, making them the issue and blaming them. I was fighting with God and even with myself. I woke  up to what felt like a long sleep but it was quite short.  I decided from that minute, I would be better and improve. For  the first time in months since the illness, I made a decision to allow God who gave her to us to take charge. I told myself this situation will not ruin us, me, our family and our  marriage but I will learn to  count my blessings and do my part. Through  the day, I gathered courage to pray and ask for strength to remain positive, cheerful and thankful.

I took a look at the mirror for the first time in months  and who I saw was not me. I looked dead, my eyes, my hair, my face and body were just not mine. I had not been eating and am sure my baby would not be happy to see me in this state.  I shook my head and I felt within me things cant go on like this, I have to change and I must change for the best. If I lose myself into this situation that I have no control over, I will  lose my sanity and all that I have working for me. I immediately booked myself full body  massage, got a cleaner to help clean the house and went food shopping.

Hubby got home to a clean house, clean wife and ready made food, that day I decided to allow God comfort our baby and would try to increase my level of attention to other areas of my life that I know needs it too. He was too shock for words at the sight of me and all he could do was go on his knees to praise  and thank God.  He kept on asking what happened to me, I shared my dream with him and he said it had to be God working. That night,  we ate together, had a laugh together,  he told me he dropped by the hospital to say hello to the doctor. I asked if he saw our baby, he said he did and always does every time. He explained each time he came, he would see the doctor to request about the progress of her health. He knew deep down seeing her in the state was painful but he knew he had to be strong for her. He also knew God was not done with our case yet. All this time, I had been jabbing him for not coming to see her, I didn't know he did that silently. Each time he came and he saw me  with her, he would say a silent prayer and he would go home  to clean and cook for us, the food I rarely ate. He said, he  knew in his heart nothing he said helped because the more he was positive the more I damped his spirit by cursing, yelling, accusing and insulting. He figured there would be peace if he kept silent and continue to pray and keep the faith alive.

He was right, all the positive words and prayers fell on deaf hears if anything I would accuse him of being insensitive. That night we talked like we used to and we communicated deeply. We  had missed each other so much and I had missed him and forgotten I had a really cool friend I could talk to and share things with.  I couldn't believe I distanced  myself,  I strongly   know for certain that I have a great husband who is supportive, helpful and caring.  We were both happy we had our heartfelt discussion, we prayed that night and we also did ahem ahem  you know, the whole intimacy thing. *winks*. Goodness we both  were starved it was unbelievable how much we had missed each other comfort.

 I was still sore but I knew  I  had to allow myself to give it all to God. The next day I went to visit our baby, this time I had on my nicest dress and smile and was lovely towards the nurses, who in turn were surprised to see me in a good state. That day, we had good news, that she was alot better and responding well to the treatments. Amazing or What?

Its a  year later and  we holding our twins and celebrating the birthday of our baby girl. Its been a roller coaster but we got through by YAWEH's  grace. Our  Ayooluwa meaning the Joy of the Lord,  is stronger, healthier and healing well.

As I count my blessings again this year, I have realised  that in hard times  and when things are out of our control, as hard as it seems we cant allow it to consume us. Consuming us would mean the need for us to be strong and continue to live is  taken away by the situation. I also know that I cant comprehend the plan God has for our lives.  It seemed unfair at the time the way everything happened but I am grateful it did because it showed me who was in control of EVERYTHING and how I am only an instrument to be use for HIS GLORY. I celebrate the joy of overcoming, I celebrate the joy of understanding deeper things in life, I celebrate the joy of experiencing the ups and downs, I celebrate my home and my desire to continue to make God our leader, number 1 and our pillar and most importantly I celebrate the special Christmas gifts God  has blessed us with.

This is a fictional story, inspired by the Holy Spirit. Any correlation to real life incidents is purely coincidental.

In life, I have learnt even when our hearts desires are met, they are still obstacles on the way that is purposely there to help us build ur  character and trust in God. This season as we celebrate the love of life, the love of generosity,   thanksgiving,  togetherness and the love of our Saviour JESUS.  I pray the Lord will surprise us with the best Christmas gifts. xxx

Have a WONDERFUL Christmas and a BLESSED Purpose driven and Purpose filled New YEAR.

I appreciate all  the comments, new and old followers and the  constant visits to  my blog. I pray your lives will forever be blessed..

On a lighter note, check out the toffee layered cake, grazed with golden caramel strings, I made for work..  It went down well. Thank God.

   I tried small. lol.
                        Lol..... I thought I should throw in my pic too lool.  The hair is mine too lol.. xxxx

Sunday 9 December 2012

Observations in its Finest.. Part 2

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello World,

I hope we are all faring well.

Quick update

I am hoping this post will not have a part 3 lol.
Ok,  so far am good No am BLESSED and thankful for all the months of protection, provision, growth, development, sustenance and uncountable blessings from my Heavily Father upon my family, friends, blogsville and many more. This month is a thankful month and I am happy I will always be THANKFUL, the fact am able to BREATH sef is a blessing. If you don't feel thankful at all, well its a massive SHAME.

I am also thankful  for My Pastor MRS.... She is ALIVE and full of ENERGY. Despite all, imagine ovarian cancer over the cause of few months, she ran  for cancer research (race for life) prior to the diagnosis this summer after the run (sighs) . Unimaginable, but am glad she LIVED to tell the TESTIMONY Because God showed his power and baffled the doctors. They found water instead of  a MASS when they opened her up, this is after God told our Pastor Mr to administer holy communion to her every night. I like my Pastor MRS she is friendly, warm and sweet. Always hugging and pecking away. She definitely gave me masses of hugs during my emotional roller coaster with the dude of the past".lol(all distant memory, thank you Lord). To top it all of, during the early times of diagnosis  she came to church helped out even preached sef when Pastor Mr traveled anyhoo we would not have guessed.
 I don't wish cancer on ANYBODY and trust me I was quick and Bold to stand up clapping and just showing gratitude whilst she shared her awesome testimony over night vigil). Being sick is not FUN oo. So pls be thankful. xxxx I extend the JOY  the Lord gave her to all  of us that  are seeking and desiring the day to share our own testimony. AMEN. xxx (I love my PASTORS, they are great examples, warm and kind people).

7. Managing your Expectations Positively:  Its  important to understand that expectations will always come either through the person attitude or through our own attitude.We are humans, whether we approve or not, we will consciously or subconsciously place people on a pedal stool(some of us don't) or have a degree of expectations about something we are proactively engaged in e.g. relationships. Now, its essential we understand that managing our expectations positively is not only healthy but it is essential to our emotional well being.
What am I saying? Humans are undeniably full of faults that are usually out of our control and our abilities. The sooner we understand that managing our expectations is not only empowering, it is also encouraging as it fosters the ability to be rational and remain mature in approaching or dealing with situations. It also helps us not to get over ourselves by deluding  ourselves through all sorts instead it should help to put things into real and positive perspectives.  I think for me, I just mentally gear myself to appreciate all life has to offer, the good, the bad and the ugly. I believe people are capable of WHATEVER so therefore I try not to get excited or overly protective about things that am unable to control one of them being humans. Besides, we are encouraged not to put our trust in princes or men. Meaning for me, don't allow yourself to get soaked in and if you do, o well. Besides, life experiences has  taught me to take everything with a pinch of salt and always be open to any ideas that could possibly occur.  Nobody is above mistakes and we are all capable of messing up or better still being MESSED UP.

Note:  Understand this, the only expectations people can have of you are the ones you offer likewise the only expectations you can expect from others are the ones they PORTRAY (so lets  keep it  REAL always).

8. Privilege Vs Duty: I believe it pays more to view a place of a service as a privilege rather than a Duty. Why: It motivates us to to do our best when we understand this is a privilege  not our right or by our doing. Besides, not only does it  humble us, it should remind us that there are tons of people waiting and looking to do a better job with our privileges ( wow, am ministering  to me oo)

9. Owing your Happiness to another:  When we begin to delude ourselves that seeking happiness from various places will sustain us or keep us sane is not only the beginning of Hot madness  it is the beginning of a long lonely road. Why: Happiness is a decision, to chose to happy in spite  all is something that is truly inspirational and keeps one grounded when things go wrong or does not seem right. Life has bumps, loads of it too and if we can't  find a small happiness in the bumps am not so sure if what we seek will give us sustainable happiness either. Am not saying having our heart desires fulfilled wont make us happy, it so will but choosing to be happy before helps one to happily appreciate the blessings that adds to our already overflowing joy.
 I also don't think its right or fair to owe our happiness to another spouse. Yes, I don't believe another individuals should be made to feel responsible for our own happiness. It not only UNFAIR, its inconsiderate and unrealistic, and purely delusional. Why: Humans are dynamic in nature, we are a breed of selfishness and deception (I pray we will not meet people with such traits or be one ourselves and if we are May God and Jesus Blood deliver and cleanse our spirits), humans feelings are unstable and unreliable. Based on that, it better we chose to be happy regardless. Don't get me wrong am not saying people shouldn't make us feel happy, am saying we should not place our NEED to be happy on them.

10. The Comparison Syndrome: (Inspired by my daily devotional guide UCB, its a MUST Have, a great blessing).   UCB "When you keep comparing yourself with others, you are denied a SENSE of accomplishment because you have made the benchmark to be like somebody else (WORD, thought provoking). Ponder on it. xx

My bits: We live in a society where oppression and repression very much exists and dominates. For some this is our story, for some others it not yet and for some others it is yet to be. Due to our inability to comprehend that we are also made to make an impact some of us chose to compare ourselves with others without much consideration to deeper stuffs. Some of us compare ourselves without considering  the circumstances surrounding the person success.  We are so focused on that "comparison syndrome  that we forget to reach out to our own innermost treasure and allow ourselves to appreciate us, celebrate our talents and aim to reach for a higher, healthy goal that will make a positive impact too. We all have different skills and roles to play and I encourage us to start doing it and Almighty Heavenly Father will see us all through.

P.S. My friend says am a "Strategic Thinker" because of my thought provoking posts. Lol. I dont know about that one oo. But I guess it a good compliment, besides have been complimented to write a BOOK. LOL. Will see..... my prayer is to continue to walk fervently with the Lord and not fall, fail or flutter and if I ever do ( I reject in Jesus Name. Amen.), I will learn from it and BOUNCE BACK. But, there are some expensive mistakes sha, you just want to

Have fashionably blessed Week. Xxxx

Remember: life is a continuous learning process and character building is the EVIDENCE.

God is love, He encouraged us to love thy neighbour as thy self. Hardwork but o well, I will keep trying. xxxx

Monday 26 November 2012

Observations in its Finest…… Part 1

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello sweetcakes,

Thank you to all my last comments on my post. It was nice hearing from you

This is post is about my interesting views or should I say ideologies.

As a thinker lol or more of a philosopher as I possess a lot of time thinking/questioning with  varied views  to show for it (pls laugh) lol. I have gathered some interesting observations which I often regularly display as my Fb status (bless fb) it definitely knows my banter never runs dry although I have a season when I can’t be bothered to update but there are days when am on it. *giggles* 

Back to the topic of today, I will be talking about some of my observations in its finest…

1)      Perfection: Ha, I laugh or smile at the mere sight of this word or name. I don’t believe in perfection because I think it’s flawed. It flawed because it does not allow room for developments, improvements, repentance, mistakes, failures and open-mindedness. As a result, when people say “nobody is perfect “, I sure do hope they mean we are all capable of falling and rising because in doing so, we find the deepest treasure which makes us who we are. Although, I  believe some of us  use the word as a form of excuse i.e. when we mess up (due to our own mere  foolishness or carelessness)  and we come up with the perfect excuse  "nobody is perfect". Yeah, I guess but it is not a validation to make ourselves  feel better when we have the opportunity to learn from it and avoid making such mistakes next time. 

2)      Laughter: Wow, it is awesome to laugh. Some of us find it unpleasant to laugh ridiculously loud or to allow ourselves to laugh with all our heart, mind and soul (but obviously you have to be aware of your surroundings). I don’t laugh easily but I love laughing as in love it. When an opportunity comes to grin my 32, I don’t hesitate on going for it. It not even about the medicinal wareva it does to your soul or mind (although it can be medicinal). I just think it amazing that we have the opportunity to LAUGH to free ourselves and mind.  I believe that is a blessing in itself (pls don’t get me started on why it is).

3)      Greediness: so we all try to justify why we are greedy and like to shine our eyes to what is not ours and will never be or what we cant afford etc. As humans lying to ourselves is a lot more palatable than to admit i.e.being honest. So when it comes to someone that constantly wants and wants wants, it becomes a call of concern. Why: is this what life is all about? WANTING… is this the legacy that should befit anyone (hmmm that person kia when he/she was alive they were so greedy now they are gone, there is plentiful) .Dust we came dust we will return. WOW that phrase is so true. Lets  understand everything stays here therefore, we should try not to be greedy, there is plenty for everyone (ministering to me btw when it comes to buffet kia..).

4)      WANT/NEED: Not everyone can actually depict the difference between those two words. It took me a while through (meditation) to actually gather what the difference is. Clearly, I have forgotten my biology lesson it was called integrated science when I was primary school in Nigeria (can’t believe I recall that lol). Besides, it took me a while for the Maslow theory to sink in after years of studying it and referencing it to my assignments (weird stuff).
Needless to say, the inability to clearly differentiate between the two words and their characteristics leaves me no room but to say WOW, what a sad life. Lol. If  we  think we need something instead of  admitting we want then we will find ourselves going around in circles seeking nothing but void, wasting time, energy and most likely plentiful resources  The ability to tell the difference and actually understand each characteristics is a better way to ensure we manage our resources respectfully that means we try to live within our means.
Besides, if  we as a individuals  want to be needed or wanted inform of a "need" i.e. your contribution is highly regarded, I think  as a person, I would recommend we first become  a  NEED. I believe this happens by  working on ourselves, our inner attributes, developing our talent, finding the virtue in us and practicing what we speak. It creates an immediate illusion that we are perfect lol. am kidding. It most likely people will be drawn to such amazing character and want to get to know such people more or be around them (not in all cases). Working on ourselves is a continuous process, it never stops so  Is it EASY?  HELL YEAH lol am being sarcastic, it is not easy but it is worth it. While we are at it, I find pouring our heart to our maker helps a lot(in my case God). One more thing, a need is something you can’t do without i.e. basic things like food, water/shelter and want lol (go check the Maslow theory).

5)      Humility: WOW although rare I can’t stress it importance. There is something and peculiar and irresistibly attractive about people that possess such quality, they are not stupid neither dumb but boi they have the greatest simplicity by letting go of their pride and   admitting to a mistake and taking responsibility too. Something that is very hard in the very least but to actually admit and be honest to yourself and others is cool. I myself have had to learn over the years (still learning) with the help of the Holy Spirit and maturity to develop this character.  This character is very helpful even when you don’t see it, other people see it  and will most likely appreciate your character, trust your judgement, excuse your mistakes and vouch for you. I think the most important thing of all; it builds your credibility and reputation. Not forgetting, God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. *winks*

6)      Credibility: Pls Google the word to get the exact meaning. How many people can say this about you? My P (pastor)  preached on parents teaching their children not to lie yet they exhibit the examples of a liar. For instance, a friend calls, you tell the child to pick up the message but should not mention you are around. Now, whilst my Mum taught us lying is WRONG, couple of times she did instruct us to inform the caller she is not around and I never thought it was a lie but I got the cue she didn't want to speak with the person. Looking back I suppose you can say it’s a lie and am sure she has her own reasons. What am I saying?
Children watch and emulate things from people around them and some children might actually think their parents are lying for denying they are not around yet they are told  to always tell the "truth" Contradicting in the very least but there you go. Although, whilst  you think saying a lie will not be of bother but to the children it pretty much works against your transparency  and authenticity to follow your league. I would  recommend always explaining  things to them that way they would understand your decisions no matter how little they are.

Besides, we can’t say the government, society etc are not credible when us the MAN/WOMAN in the mirror is lacking terribly in this department. In essence, as we are pointing the finger, the rest is pointing back to us  “ You HYPOCRITE first remove the PLANK in your eye before your remove the sprint in another person’s eye”(find it Matthew 7:5). Not that I think J sweet (my name for JESUS cos I think he is actually sweet) meant that we should not rebuke others but we should ensure that we are transparent and credible in all our dealings first/ and admit when we aren't,  that way we can teach or inspire  each other.

I will stop here. Hope to continue some other time.

P.s. Pls feel free to add more or suggest. xx

Christmas is coming…….. WOW, another grand traditional festive season is here, each person claiming to be celebrating love or birth of Jesus or just following tradition. I think for some others it a mixture of everything.

Stay Awesomely Wholesome (just coined it.. lol x).

God love is pure, holy, untainted and very warm too…. Hmmmm feels good… xxx

Tuesday 20 November 2012

In the Case of.....

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello lovers of life, destiny and beyond,

Ok, so I will make this post as quickish and short in comparison to the last one. I am truly learning to compose snappy/straight to the point post that is easy to read and understand. Pardon the longgggg posts in the past. Well done for reading it too.. kudos. lol.

Thank you to all that read my post/ glance through and scroll down and don’t bother reading lol. To all that read and comment. I appreciate. xxx

Quick intro into one of my weird personality and attitudes, I am very peculiar without a doubt.  I can’t place my finger on it but I can be very forceful in what I stand for and don’t stand for. However, am learning to change that method of approach or should I say be of less of a force and know where to direct and redirect the energy from within lol..(meditating as of now lol).

 There are times when people or should I say, I hear things and my immediate reaction is cut off, leave it and DELETE. Speaking of HARSH, it instances where people will talk about/mourn about a friend, colleague or a dude that they find annoying, rude or unpleasant and still stick with them. Whilst my immediate reaction is CUT THEM OFF, No excuses JUST CUT THEM OFF, that not always the solution. I realised sometime it doesn't not work that way all the time. Sometimes when people talk about the unpleasant  things  is cos they need to offload what on their mind and it’s your prerogative to ask them what they intent to do about the situation Rather being ah, cut them off, delete and denounce lol, etc etc. I keep quiet ask the person what they think the solution is and allow them to figure it out. I learnt doing things this way for once saves me a) Headache b) fuming/frustration c) understanding and able to gauge when to react and not react at all. If anything the person in question probably knows what to do about the situation.  I allow myself to sense where their line of reasoning is before I offer opinions and ideas if at all I need to do that (keep mute and nod).I also consider that life is a learning process and experiences is the ONLY teacher and character building  is the evidence.

Needless to say, my solution on how I deal with some issues is not something that is or will be applicable to other people solutions. Some people think deleting someone that is of no use to them/contributing  nather (nothing) to their life is considered rude whilst for me it so sane after all you and I both know we are of no use to each other so why the pretence. If we happen to be the in the future, Great, if we don’t GREAT. Either way, life is good.

It dawned on me (through meditation, *loves*) that forcing our ways on other people is not always the greatest step to take in helping. We should listen and search for cues that tells us whether or not the person in question is asking for advice or willing to take on the offer, if at all they are ready to do what it takes.

How do you approach a situation when you know you are right and the other person just decides to stick to their guns yet they come and mourn/complain? Or simply mourn/complain and you know nothing you say will do anything cos their mind is pretty much made up.   It can’t be easy though but prayer is key.

Thanks for reading.

Meanwhile, learning Chinese lang Mandarin is going well but kia my pronunciation  (according my sis is bad).lol.

Ni ri li ya in Mandarin... Guess which country? lol
JESUS IS LORD, KING and a friend. xxx

Friday 9 November 2012

To be NICE or NOT to be NICE.....

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome.

Hello My People,

How are you and how body?

Well done o, its FRIDAY, TIME TO BOOGEY (not). lol .Perhaps time to relax and throw your legs up.  Hope you have had a lovely week and a nice stress free weekend is coming along just fine... hehe. xxx
Thankful for  life and  Thank God for the opportunity to be here. Congrats to OBAMA and his people  I pray he fulfills purpose in this forth coming years.

Thank you to my new and old followers xxxxxxx

Like most of my post, there are usually inspired by an event, a situation, personal experience, Holy Spirit, external stories etc etc. Today's post is no different although I had planned a different blog post.  I  felt compelled to write on this post.

I like to maybe elaborate or contribute on this TOPIC "NICE". One of the things I have come to understand in life is, it is very dynamic AS IN dynamic that my mind cannot comprehend. Each time or every now and then you hear stories that will not only send shock waves through your system but you leave you stunned for the rest of the day and just when you think you have heard it all, you hear another one that tops it. No wonder I am sometimes nonchalant because this sums it all " What has been will be again, What has been done will be done again, THERE IS NOTHING NEW UNDER THE SUN" Eccles 1:9. However you chose to interpret this is up to you. But it plain to me that there is nothing new under the SUN and it is applicable to anything. Therefore, I try not to worry myself sick or drive myself insane when I come in contact  hear or see something that is absurd or out of place.

This post is not really about that, again I digress. This is about something entirely different and much more thought provoking or at the very least interesting. Lol. Kia, am so ermm whats the word CHARACTER. hehe.

Before we start the post: let me provide some definition?

What is NICE: According to my Oxford Dictionary, it means 1. Pleasant or Kind, 2. Precise or careful.

My own definition: It includes the combination of the definition above, but add in respect, good sincere heart, good spirit, clean motives, positive aura, friendly, generous, sweet, encouraging, humble, polite, helpful, supportive, grateful, thankful,  lovable and approachable. In a nutshell, to be NICE you to have posses really good qualities and willing to go the extra mile if need be. My summary if I say you are nice, I MEAN you have really awesome qualities that has summed up who you are.
Note: I make room for nice people to make mistakes, to have  mean sides although not horrible ones but manageable ones lol, nobody is PERFECT as long as they are HUMBLE to recognize it.. 

I think our idea of "nice" is subjective. some might think outspoken people are not nice (my friend thinks am not nice cos I told someone not to use their bare hands to touch my food)Yikes, I didn't think that was part of it, I guess I could  have been less dramatic sha or  nicely told them that I have a phobia with people using their unwashed hands to  touch my food in my face, cos you just touched your top and your hair to say the least, ewwww i prefer my own bacteria. thank you very much. lol.. Am random.

Back to the post, I have come to an observation because humans are generally unpredictable and  it is fair to say having expectations  can be good and in some cases healthy but it needs to managed respectfully if at all one chooses to have  expectations. Generally, some of us are of extreme nature where we over do it to the point where nothing much can be said whilst some of us are moderate. Extremism can be applicable to anything anything at all from eating to gossiping to fighting to insulting to helping to generosity etc etc lists are ENDLESS.

I have come across both moderate people and extreme people in certain areas, some people are nice to a fault, emphasis to a FAULT. It means they are nice regardless of all and people take advantage of them because they are nice, although some people with such quality (blessing at times) might complain and even rage that they will not be caught helping people again or someone in that situation but ermm give them few days and  they are quick to forgive and forget and are  helpful again. While this is a good trait(if not awesome), it can also have some damaging consequences that leaves the nice   person  to suffer terribly. As a result, some nice people might chose to be mean or develop a mean tactic not only to  avoid people that tend to take advantage  but to protect themselves and maybe some seek/take revenge. Some nice people that have been hurt due to doing good and being helpful sometimes find themselves becoming mean and more mean because people generally assume their niceness as a form of weaknesses and take advantage of it. I sympathize but   some nice people are also very unassuming and I think this is where my thin line comes in.

There is a difference between NICE and being a PURE MUGU(gullible), lol, sorry but its true. Some of us our niceness and innocent thoughts about people have led us to make wrong decisions or as a result found ourselves in a very awkward situation. The  assumption is generally placed when we see certain people appear in such a way that "you chose to ignore the warning  sign" cos YOU "ASSUME" or should I say "Like to think" such people are not out there to get you. WRONG. Once beaten, twice shy.  Not everyone is nice and some people have ulterior motives. Therefore, before we think its our niceness that landed us into trouble(partly) but  it probably largely attributed to our naivety,stupidity  in some cases and lack of discernment i.e. ability to be a judge of good character which comes with experience, wisdom, understanding and God direction.

If you are nice person with over generosity attribute or any great attribute, be sure people will not only look to take advantage but they WANT and WILL take advantage. Like a predator studies its prey that how some mean people with ulterior motives will study their victims. So before we get all soppy and full  of excuses,learn to follow your instincts if it does not feel right, IT DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT until proven otherwise.. DO NOT TRY to make up excuses, if all the actions are proving to be an unworthy situation in the end, take a step back and study that situation again with YOUR SENSES open.

The other thing I have come to observe is, there will always be MEAN PEOPLE, just like there will always be "RICH AND POOR". There are people that posses unaccommodating mean sides it just terrible i.e. UNBEARABLE at all costs. Some of us think not  showing niceness (some people consider "niceness" as vulnerability)   will eventually wade off people that are genuinely mean.
Well, WRONG.

Quick Definition
Mean to me means? Someone that lacks regard for other people's emotions, feelings, thoughts and welfare. Someone that is full HATE, full of evil thoughts and NEVER wish good for anyone or to those around them. Someone full of ENVY, JEALOUSY, OBSESSED with negative/evil connotations. Someone that takes  advantage of people whether poor, helpless or better of, someone that toils with other peoples emotions, someone that keeps long term malice in hope to punish other people for wrong doings, harbor unforgiveness, and enjoy wrecking/destroying lives. Someone that derives pleasure in seeing bad things happen to people that they ENVY and feeds of it. Someone that lacks respect  self control, regard to society, humanity, LAW, unrepentant etc etc. My lists goes on. Generally, someone that posses bad  and horrible traits with Ulterior Motives.

 We think  that  to stop being nice will make mean people hurt us less. WRONG. Have you head of this phrase" Watch out for false prophets", "They come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly they are FEROCIOUS WOLVES". Pls Google the word FEROCIOUS oo, kia. Matt  7:15. Sweet J, said it.
 From what I gather, it means anyone can pretend to be what they want you to see or what you would like to see (which is the outer appearance) but inside their hearts they have a plan, a very cunning, deceitful deep  plan and that their TRUE self.  Lest I forget, the advice works really well with this "The heart of man is deceitful above all things, and DESPERATELY wicked, "who can know it"? Jeremiah 17:9. What am I saying, our ulterior motives, if only we can see it. WOW, not even wicked,  it is DESPERATELY wicked, surely we cant comprehend PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS. We can try but that about it.

My point is, we cant change our virtuous qualities because we want to disguise our  NICENESS or try to appear MEAN in order to avoid being hurt or taking advantage of. Newsflash, you are NICE. PERE(that it). It is what is it. However,  you are suppose to learn and understand that there are people who will show appreciation, people who would not even bother to say "Thank you", people that will even badmouth you after all you have done for them. Well, that where you learn to manage your expectations. Knowing fully well that humans are unpredictable and can surprisingly  appear  good and  convincing,  yet full of CRAP. lol. You need to learn how  to deal with it positively  and MOVE ON. You will not be the first person to fall for their culprit/conniving plans  and  certainly wont be the last. Aim to learn from the situation, think about it whether you allowed it, check yourself and gather courage and learn to build the character you were supposed to build during your encounter which such person or situation.

The thing is, you will always get the mean people once in awhile or for a long period of time. Whether they are your inlaws, family members or  colleagues etc.  In some instances, you can communicate your feelings with them,  some might understand, and sometimes you just have to  prayerfully learn manage their character and learn to deal with them respectfully.

As for me, I  dont like MEAN or  excessively mean people, I think they are WEAK and some of them are like that based on different situations whatever the reasons are.Besides,  it could just  be their own way of dealing with their own insecurities. Depending, on the severity of the crime that has been done or the pain afflicted, I am able to a degree see  beyond the pain a mean person has  inflicted. I suppose I analyse things deeper than the surface.

Besides,  I had my mean side too, although not extreme  in fact perhaps much more immature at the time. Need less to say,  I had a lot of anger in me, I had a lot of hatred for people that did me wrong whether  little or big. I kept strong hateful malice where I RESENT the person that has done me wrong even when they apologise (but I think that was a product of my environment, most Nigerians I know in Nigeria likes KEEPING MALICE alot, in fact they breed it,  and I think it is a  disgusting/vulgar trait to posses and we are all SUSPICIOUS of each other (i hate it).  Anyhoo, I traced my issue to my childhood and as a child I was blamed for most things that went wrong, my sis would do wrong and  blackmail me,  I was usually defendless and I took the blame. It was the same everywhere, I took the blame for the fear of the unknown and I hated my sister for that (we have settled it now). I became fierce and loud and a bully (not extreme bully sha but I can come across like that if I put on my harsh tone) but them days in Niaj I will pick on people that I knew couldn't fight for themselves cos that was what happened to me. People called me RUDE or this and that(that is not a good name).

In boarding house then, I would get punished for telling a senior about themselves (hahaha, I dont regret that one oo), still they will beat me and I will cry but my mouth was RAZOR. lol. I feel bad for the friends I tormented oo or  the people I terrorized. Now, I cant even keep malice, in fact I feel horrible when I have a disagreement with someone and we ended on a bad note even if its the other person @fault I still feel bad. But once we talk about it am good. It took  PRAYER, deliverance sef,( am not exaggerating) Grace, Maturity and Holy spirit.  Now if you hurt me, I will prolly cry if need be, clean my tears and MOVE ON. I like crying oo, cos it means am letting it out and not holding back, it helps with my healing process and forgiveness  Crying does not mean you are WEAK, if anything I think it means the situation has sunk in and there is no other way to express than through tears as words fail you.  In some cases, it just feels better to cry. I cry and I sleep like a baby afterwards lol so I forget the situation. But really, I do abit of everything to clear my mind which is praying, talking about it, documenting it and eventually learning from it and MOVING ON.

 It is  good to know about yourself because it not shocking when someone tells you are this or that, am cool with someone telling me I think am better than this and I will say yes, not only do I think it,  I KNOW IT. I am a very opinionated, there you go, call it PRIDE Yes, there is pride in a bit of us but for me am mostly teasing  hmm  ( let just say I  think I like to think am teasing lol).... I used to be very FULL OF MYSELF but am learning to calm down if not calm already, am much more humble and willing to listen to others and learn from others cos whether I like it or not they actually make some sense most times and it adds to my wealth of knowledge.. whoppi.  (Experience is not only the best teacher, IT IS THE ONLY TEACHER).

I will stop here, I didn't talk about myself to rub it on anyone faces (Even though it might across like that, I apologise) i said it  to give an example that we are all on this journey and we are dynamic in nature. We can learn together and be better together.  In conclusion, be NICE but learn to apply wisdom and manage expectations(keep praying for grace too xx).

Thanks for reading. HAPPY SMILES.

God bless you.. JESUS

What say you? 

Friday 2 November 2012

Learn by Precaution, and Live by IT!.

Thank you for visiting.

Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are well and great.

This post is somewhat a personal opinion and I guess am trying to make a contribution in my own understanding.

Ever since the story of the ALUU killings, I have said very little other than the occasional comments I make and the Watsapp conversation I had with my friends etc.

There are certain topics that go around I don’t like getting myself into because a)I don’t have an opinion mostly  and  b) I don’t understand the situation.

The purpose of this post is not a rant its just me making sense of certain things or maybe just contributing my own opinion.

I read a post on BN about the ALUU Killing etc. Click here.

Initially, I read and nodded in  agreement  with some of  the illustration used to highlight or emphasis   the points raised but again I can’t help but think or argue (this might come across ignorant) that it our responsibility to take precautions and be aware of our own safety and environment. Although, you mind your own business trouble still comes and meet you. I belong to many schools of thoughts, one of which is, observe your environment and don’t cross the boundaries.

What do I mean, growing up in Nigeria we hear a lot of stories every day and we are aware that some can be avoided if certain precautions are taken. Due to my upbringing mainly attributed to My awesome Mother, staying out of trouble was not a question it was a way of life, it was a lifestyle. This meant avoiding going to certain places that was or is known as a dangerous place; avoid walking by yourself at certain times e.g. after 5pm in fact Mum never sent us on errands  after certain times.  It also included avoid coming home alone (we were in boarding house most of the time), avoid talking to/with strangers, avoid eating or accepting anything without permission from Mum or a person of authority. Avoid getting into a verbal confrontation with anyone or have dealings with anyone that is not of your calibre (by calibre I mean mind sets or standard of thinking, yes our mental state differ greatly). This meant we rarely associated ourselves with people on our streets except Mum’s friends or people we knew from school. It was our way of life; we lived by it and are accustom to it.

Mum knew everything there was to know about her girls, she communicated with us daily letting us know about the “wishy washy hands of men”. At puberty, it was forbidden to sit on any Uncles legs, before she told me I was already self-conscious I was fast becoming a woman above my peers. We wore tights, singlet’s etc  at tender ages under each outfit (I can’t do without wearing them now). We were encouraged to be decent and walk fast on the streets. We encouraged not begging for food, borrowing clothing’s or borrowing from others; we were to be content with what we had and remain grateful.

 During those days, when we got something from Mum i.e. presents, we would go on our knees to thank her, pray for her and hug her. It was our lifestyle and I still do it occasionally today, during my graduation she really tried and was proud to have raised two grown women singlehandedly with God on our side.  In a nutshell, we emulate Mum and her dealings and I must say I really appreciate the way she brought us up. 

When we were much younger, we lived in block of flats (face me I SLAP YOU, lol am kidding it wasn’t that bad) we shared communal areas such as bathrooms, kitchens etc amongst other people.  Mum was never a gossip you would never catch her talking or gisting with anybody outside her house. In fact, she was much respected(mostly envied due to her conduct)  she minded her own business. She didn't tolerate any bad attitude from others including us.

 She definitely spared the rod on us, I was around 3 or 4 years old when our maid had left us downstairs playing with the only people Mum would recommend to play with. The Maid hadn't fed us our lunch. I was famished, that hunger I couldn't contain it, there was a bowl of “puff puff” or “bonce” (I can’t recall) were outside the neighbours flat, which she sold. I couldn't resist, they were steering at me, calling my name, lol. I probably tried to look for the lady that owned the food stuff, but I don’t think I found her. Anyway I took one and looked at my childhood friend who I offered and she declined, I ate it secretly and I enjoyed it( I knew it was wrong because I hate it secretly and cleaned my mouth too lol).  My childhood friend, (big mouth but thank God for her) told my older sis what happened, and of course my sister will not keep quiet. Our maid eventually came back and we had a nap, (we always napped as children and going to Mayflower didn’t help cos we had naps each afternoon in primary school).

 I  was awakened  by lashes of cane (my Mum rarely hits us but when she does, it means you had done something  bad as in really bad, she hits or should I say flog us only once a year which is a healthy record in my household compared to some people). Going to boarding house and spending time with relatives obviously helped too(i.e. not getting flogged often by Mum). Besides we weren’t exposed to extreme violence in comparison to some other people.

 Back to me, kia Mum  flogged me  ehn and I had to confess I had eaten the food, she asked me why and I told her I was hungry, she blamed the Maid but still I got it bad. Cut long story short, she paid for the stolen “puff puff or bonce”and I never ever stole again.  I was taught before you take, ask politely first.  My perspectives changed dramatically, from then I knew there was consequence for every action if it mean flogging, I will not steal.  If I wanted something, I ask and the person says no “I renew my mind and move on”. Besides, (whilst in boarding house, Mum tried to ensure we were comfortable not to go begging around which she hated but I begged oo kia in fact I had rather picked from the leftovers or floor that steal lol MAYFLOWER times).

Therefore, when I was in school and people were beaten for stealing I didn’t think it was wrong in fact I felt if you hadn’t stolen then surely you wouldn't be beaten(charity begins at home).  I also thought it stealing  was not cool and one’s reputation would be tarnished by it. Obviously, it is not everyone that has the luxury to afford the goods others have but does that justify the stealing?(that greediness in my own opinion,  maliciously eyeing something that you can’t have). Also some of us do not have anything but we still try not to steal and  for some us we simply don’t have anyone to  admonish us or people who could. Beside, some parents  turn  a blind eye or are thieves themselves.  Having said that, there are poor children/ people  with no parents and loved ones and all they  want is to eat something, I will still say  ASK don't steal.  In asking, some  might give more than you hope to steal sef.

 My point: how much do parents invest into the life of their children mentally or children in their care?  How much time do we take to talk or communicate with our children or people in our care? People take things yeah I get,  but stealing big or small stuff and keeping them I find very unlawful and unkind to the other  fellow that has suffered to purchase the products to start with (although some people might have stolen  the goods that is now stolen, call it law of karma or what goes around comes around etc). I don’t know about you but am provoked to think many of the things we do or chose to do especially when we have a choice is why do we do it? (Life is a learning process and journey of discovery nonetheless).

 Although I don’t encourage deaths or killing of another human except for exception reasons of which are many (Jesus preached repentance and forgiveness). I have been raised in a society where consciously there are consequences for every bad actions and it is said that "charity begins at home". If they don’t teach you or train you well @ home then you will be trained outside. This mentality has stuck with me and I must say during the times people stole in school I have felt they deserve the punishment admonished (although in some cases extreme).  At the same time it is assumed the punishment is a lesson that will teach the child not to misbehave any longer and also a lesson to other potential thieves.

I think as individuals we should be self-disciplined and try to avoid issues if we can and live by responsible codes of conduct. It does not mean things will not happen to us or we won’t jam lunatics in form of humans but we need to maybe take deep breaths and think about our attitudes and dealing in response to the situation.

 One of my purposes in reaching this new age is prayerfully seeking wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I have never been hungrier for the wisdom Solomon prayed for. I want it, I need it and I want to live by it and do right by it.

Wisdom is a great blessing and I join my Mum in this aspect cos that woman is blessed with divine wisdom which I yearn for and pray for, spirit of discernment and ability to do what is right and pleasing to God.

God will continue to admonish us in way to live right and advocate justice. JESUS BEST.

Saturday 27 October 2012

Boredom/ Break Up Lines!

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello People,

Hope you are having a great Saturday.

P.S. This post was supposed to be posted yesterday  FRIDAY.

Thanks for all the lovely comments from the post. I feel the love and am loving them too. My is head GBOINZ @ the moment…

Boredom is unhealthy, o well this is what happens to some of us in our jobs and routine. 

So, listening to Celine Dion via Grooveshark and I am swaying to the lyrics,  going to dreamland and dancing in slow motion, doing all sort of moves that will most likely break my bones if it were in real life lol….

 Anyhoo, something popped in my head which is the classic break up lines and it got me thinking why chose those words. why!! Also some of the words are so recycled  o jare.

Line no1
It’s not you it’s me… #what does that even mean#?

Line 2
It just not working for me… #it’s so rinsed out#

Line 3
Irreconcilable differences #are you kidding me#? You didn't think or knew you two were different.

 In fact this  line 3, every tom, dick and harry uses it. Smh (shakes my head).

Line 4
I think we need a break. #raises eyebrow more like you want a break#

Line 5
I think we should stay friends… #why?

Line 6
I am just not feeling it?#ermmmm ok#

Line 7
You are too much for me, I don’t feel like I deserve you. # yimu# (scoffs).

Line 8
I have been so busy lately and I don’t think it’s fair on you. #right#, you can create time if you wanted.

There are prolly so much more that I have not mentioned nor highlighted. I just believe in communication so much and I recommend   face to face. If someone meant so much to you and you held them dear, I am pretty sure communicating how a thing is a great step. But then again, some relationships were not supposed to be deep. I guess it depends on the  individual and their motives.

Peace, Blessings and Joy.

God has an incredible sense of humour its unbelievable. lol. Love you G.

Have a great weekend.Oooo share your favourite break up lines or the amusing ones.

Will bring more randomness… heheh Lol. xx

Prolly- probably

Sunday 21 October 2012

Its a Buffday it.!!!

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello People,

I hope we are doing well oo.... Thank you to all that commented on the last post.. more coming your way. *winks* For the birthday wishes... thank you for your generous prayers and love... Much appreciated.

I am specially thankful to my awesomeness, wholeness, precious KING for another opportunity to experience life and share my talents and purpose. I pray I will not die and none will die but continue to live to declare and praise his name. I pray for as many of us as are seeking the face of the Lord  for anything that He will come to our need and aid...

I am also thankful to my special Mum for all that she has done and still doing. Nobody can ever understand a mothers love.. SHE IS ONE OF A KIND. A VERY RARE GEM. xxxx

Back to the gist, my birthday fell on a Saturday and am not gonna lie I have been thanking God before this day and I must say I feel I need to step up and grow up i.e. develop alot more and begin to LIVE.
I also must add, part of growing up is about learning and developing to be better than yesterday so therefore am planning on carrying out a deep research on me and begin to identify areas I need to work on.. This should be alot of work and fun too. I will keep you  lovelies posted.

How I spent my  B-day.

I dyed  my hair red and had a hair cut too(shhh it came out gingery red).lol..  I still like it, its not very bright because I didnt bleach the hair, am not sure I am ready for that i.e. the bleaching. I am supposed to be going natural sometime this year but am not ready o jare lol..  The look I have is definitely much older and possibly edgy...

I did hair thing on Friday, got a dress for the wedding for Saturday because the Taylor messed up again (this time she didn't even bother calling me or replied any of my calls ). Anyhoo, the devil you know is better than the one you dont know and No i havent paid oo.

You are wondering why wedding? Well one of my friend's sis was getting married in another city, I had been saying I will come oh I must come oh.. I didn't know the date was gonna fall on my bday... well I turned up and I met up with one of my craziest friend. I say crazy because she is indeed random. lol. We fight and make up. I was gonna blog about "us" sometime but I couldn't be bothered. Anyhoo we are now friends for now,  before she does another craziness on me.hahahaha.. She made sure I had a good time.  I applaud her for that.

We were also suppose to jam another parry,  but it was starting late and the wedding finished too early.. We couldn't be bothered to hang around jor. So we went home, I stayed over till Sunday.  I am so grateful for the warmth, love and generosity I felt from her family... soo sweet.. I got cake, card, lipstick, money, wishes etc etc. Overall what a great day to spend the weekend. We definitely had loads of fun and laughter.. awww.. phew.. As usual, am told I can be a alot to handle ohh.. kai, but my friend can exaggerate.. hehe

Enjoy some of the pics.. Next year by God's grace am sooo doing/having a PARRY cos I will be a quarter of a century.. HALLELUJAH.. soo get ready for the gele's oh. hehe

                                     Apparently I have tiny eyes..  so they

Looks like one nollywood pose..hahahah

P.S. Thanks for reading and visiting.
P.S.S. Currently studying mandarin,  a Chinese language,  will keep you posted. 
Btw my sis speaks so well, infact she got a scholarship to study the language in China sef.. I need to record her oo.. lol.
P.S.S.S. keep safe, keep on keeping on. God will guide us through.. JESUS BEST. XXXX

Monday 15 October 2012

The One I met before 2

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello beautiful ladies and handsome lads…… 
Hope you are cooolllll…

Welcome greetings to my new followers and greetings to my old followers. Kisses and hugs..xx

Back to the much anticipated continuation of the story  click HERE  for part 1.
P.S. The post is longish because I know you just want to read it all

Segun and I decided to go for the slow and steady pace type of relationship where everything happens in slow motion lol. Am kidding, we tried not to place unnecessary pressure on each other instead take each moment in. This was our motto “unravel the dreams and soak in each day”. We came up with the words together, wrote it together and tried implementing it. With our motto we were able to visit six different cities in the UK in three months, fundraised to reach targets for our respectful charities  and so much more. It was fun and we took advantage of every slight opportunity. The memories created were just wonderful, and I loved it all. 

I had initially felt something was not right with Segun but I didn’t want to say anything or felt it was all in my head. It was exactly six weeks before my final year exams when Segun called to discuss exactly what my doubts were.

The conversation which I remember vividly played out like this.
Segun: Hey,
Me: Helooooo, what’s good?
Segun: God’s goodness.
Me: (laughs). Ok o share the good news.
Segun: How’s your work going?
Me: Its good. So are you not sharing the good news?
Segun: Well, something is bugging me.
Me: (begins to somewhat sweat it) what is it?
Segun: Ok, this has been bugging me for a while but I have not said anything because a) I am trying to see how I can best articulate my points b) I have been trying to figure  out the perfect time and place  to tell you. I figured I should just say it now and get it in the open. I am not HAPPY.
Me: Ok.
Segun: Won’t you ask me why?
Me: No not really. You said you figured you should get it out in the open so..
Segun: Ok, fine it cool. I will go ahead and explain why anyway. Am sure you are just being stubborn as usual. Bisi mii, you know how much am down for you right? You also know how much I respect you and your values and you also know I value your place in my life. The reason why am not happy is because I can no longer wait or tell myself to wait. I am attracted to you and I know for a definite you are also attracted to me too. I feel we should go to the next stage now, seriously I feel punished.
Segun: Is that all you will say throughout the convo.
Me: ermm I don’t know. Am busy so mind is everywhere.
Segun:  I guess you are really busy. I will leave you to get on with your work.

 Well from the conversation you can pretty much guess what happened. It didn’t end there, just a week later we broke up and I did the breaking by text.  For reasons that were personal, I began to withdraw and recoil and felt it was unfair on Segun. I suggested we went on a break whilst I sort my head out. I didn’t want it to happen yet I wanted to wait but at the same time I knew deep down this break was not short it was going to be long if not forever.

The thing is, I didn't know how to tell him nor did I trust myself to tell him the truth. Time and time I have felt the need to say  what was on my mind it but the words just hung in the air and when I do attempt,  I utter  different words and make  comments  like “You are incredible” etc(which I mean). I cried my eyes out and I could not stop crying when I composed the three line sentences. It was painful but I had to hurt myself and hurt him to save him from further compilations. I am mean, I know, but hey life was mean to me and though it’s not his fault I rather protect him than tell him the truth for now. I knew this day would come where he would want to get sexually intimate but I could not offer it. I had to mentally prepare for my surgery which was due to take place in two weeks, this surgery, I was determined had to be my final surgery.

I had been doing a lot of fasting and praying believing and trusting God this miracle will be mine. I have never had so much faith or expressed my faith this much before. This time around I wanted it and wanted my life back. Years of surgeries and constant reconstruction has had it toll me in every way possible be it social, physical, mental etc. I wanted my healing since when I could remember the pain of constant surgery but I genuinely wanted to have a   testimony.

 There are times I blamed my parents and felt if only they were more cautious and actually tried to be more constant at home and not working long hours all the time, maybe things would have been different. They do try their best and all these surgeries ate up both their financial resources. I have watched them cry, scream, shout and try to console me and each other that things will get better.

I was exactly three years old when Mum found me, behind the broken chair in the laundry bleeding heavily. She didn’t know what to do, but she immediately took me to the hospital. Based on doctor’s report, the housemaid at the time had been sexually assaulting me under both my parents’ noses and they didn’t know. I can’t remember so much now but I remember the fear and pain and I was told I will be killed if anyone found out. It wasn’t just him, he had two friends too.  The damage was severe, the infection had completely spread, it had gotten worse and nobody noticed. Mum and Dad worked from morning into the nights. Victor was a quick fix, the house maid had left without notice, they needed someone that will be available on a temporary basis until they found a house girl (Female maid). Victor was quickly hired based on the gateman recommendation. No background check, Mum and Dad too busy chasing the deals. I was an accident baby so the opportunity for Mum to be at home with me was not part of the option.

Back to the surgery I wanted this to be my last. I found the Surgeon based on my GP’s recommendation. He was kind, he had outlined what he intended to do and how it will work but assured me there was no guarantee i.e.  it would not be perfect but I will be near normal.

I refused to hold onto his words, though they pierced my heart. I was holding on to GOD, my relationship with God has been off and on. One minute am on it, the next am not because I get so depressed I sometimes feel like what the point?   Until I read a testimony similar to mine and I saw the visuals too. Even with that I had doubts and questions. However, instead of being depressed, I decided this testimony will be mine too. I believed it and I prophesied it. I kept saying God use his hands and make me whole again no more surgeries.

I had to defer some of my exams but it was worth it. I am always amazed each time I go for a check-up and  the Surgeon is also amazed that not only  did I heal properly, I am so normal. It’s been mine own miracle and when I graduated I didn’t hesitate to work with a charity that dealt with rape victims and I got to share my own experience of my ups and downs. I also started projects across Africa to campaign against child molestation and rape and to put in place laws that will change the face of rape. I worked with medical associates willing to donate and help victims that have suffered severe rape and need reconstruction.

All this while, I had kept myself and could not stop thinking about Segun. Three years seemed like a long time but I was waiting for another miracle from my Daddy. I had to trust somehow that he was still out there waiting for me. I knew Tayo didn’t say anything to him other than “keep praying for her”.  He would rage, cry and get angry was what Tayo told me. Tayo was the only one that knew about me and she also didn’t understand and never questioned me. Her mum was the nurse that referred us to the hospital that helped treat the infection I had, at the time it seemed impossible to access the right medical treatements because most hospitals simply didn't have access to adequate and updated medical resources. Tayo’s Mum never treated me less and I spent more time at theirs than I did with mine.  

The following year I went to Nigeria to visit my family, cousins and nephews. It was during the visit to one of the restaurants that I saw my sweetheart again. We were about to place an order when I heard the voice of a man next to me and I was certain that deep voice only belonged to one person Segun. I turned around Lo and behold “It was him I saw and I was about to utter his name when petite pretty Asian lady came to stand next him. He placed his hand around her waist and I saw what I know to real a wedding band.  They looked lovingly into each other eyes and exchanged kisses. I was looking and feeling like a 110% Mugu(fool), I was numb and  I could only see the customer service assistant lips moving, it was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

 I immediately ran out and yeah started crying and muttering stupid stuff to myself. Bisi how could you be so stupid and foolish. You need to grow up and let the young love go. It is not to be. These were what I was telling myself walking to my parked car, as I approached my car, a hand grabbed me.I was about to approach the grabber with a Taekwondo style (Yes, I learnt martial arts to fight oh), I turned around to find it was SEGUN… WHAT..

I was stunned and unable to speak. He said he had been calling my name and at first he thought it was not me although I had changed  he was unsure but he had to catch up with me to be sure. He gave me a hug whilst I stood there gawping.
He said  he was in the car when he saw  me, his cousin and his wife wanted something to eat. He was still talking and I was looking behind him, watching his cousin approach us with his Asian wife, I later found out she is from Singapore. They looked so much alike himself and his cousin.

He explained they both get it a lot. Between that day and for the next 3 weeks we talked, we caught up and surprisingly there were no hard feelings. He said he knew something was not right but he didn’t know and he knew deep down I cared for him but he was deeply hurt based on the way I treated him etc. I was hurt too and I could not bring myself to tell you the truth. I could not bear the shame. Segun agreed that he dated twice after me and it didn’t feel the same. He too decided to hand it over to God and pray about things. He took a break and concentrated on building his life and relationship with God.

 Its three years now and we are still going strong; the 2nd baby is on the way and am still thankful as yesterday. Miraculously I had my first naturally despite my fears and my doctor’s fears. It was not me it is God because I didn’t plan to, we had plan a C-section in place but the baby wanted to come naturally without much ado. I am truly blessed to have come this far.

I am even happier that am taking this journey with the love of my life Segun. It sounds cheesy but dreams do come true in big and small packages. We have our challenges but we are strong and we are courageous and that my friend is JESUS love.

This post is dedicated to anyone that has been through a lot and still going through rough patches that that there is more and your testimonies will come in due season.

This is a fictional story based on fictional characters; any correlation to real life incidents is purely coincidental.

Inspired by the Holy Spirit, written by me..

God is good even we doubt his love and existence.

P.S. Excuse any typos. I think i have to go back to  grammar school (not kidding, lol).
P.S.S. It my birthday this SATURDAY, YAY me is turning ermm.. 
Thanks for the pressies in advance. 
I thank God for life and grace to be here. xxx 

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