Tuesday 29 May 2012

In life......

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Peeps,

I am yet to upload the last series of BAMIDELE (FOLLOW ME HOME). For  the Part 1 Click here   and for the Part 2 Click here . But in the mean time, I will upload one of my short status I put on facebook as I mentioned in my previous post I do stuff like this Until You???.

So pls read and enjoy.. Again appears in white lines as it is copied.

In life there are so many things we are suppose to learn and discover. Some of these things are there to provide insight, experience, knowledge, growth, development and maturity.

So why is that for some of us it takes us years even more to come to know "Life happens in series of stages and each stage is suppose to be prepare you i.e. bring out a character in you to approach things in a different way.

I  dare say, mental growth is one thing that is lacked in our society. You communicate with certain people and their mindset is still the same for years since you have known them... and it makes you wonder "DID YOU GROW AT ALL??

hmmm food for thought. Invest in your mental state and mindset. Whatever you are today is based on your inner thought process and STATE OF YOUR MIND.

Am I a philosopher... maybe to an extent... 

Do I know it all ... (DONT THINK SO, dont think its possible to know it all). Do I come across like that. ( i believe so sometimes, but  I know some people think I do lol).

Have I come a long a way? YES.......

I am incredible incredibly dynamic.. ITS  AMAZINGLY AMAZING.lol.

God is love. Love on yourself and others too.

My new jam @ the moment.. I predict the new wedding summer jam..

Tuesday 22 May 2012


Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Thank you for the comments on the last post.

Back to the continuation of the story click here  for the part 1.

I almost forgot sharing this story on this platform will be subject to various criticisms which I am open to btw and am able to accept my wrong doings.  Based on where I stopped, I had my fun and did my part and enjoyed doing it well "I thought I did". I recall a certain episode with my sister, who felt  indulging  me in some tale telling and advice would help. She told me outrightly what I was doing at the time was plain wrong and unacceptable. Why should different women be constantly on your radar and using your name as the latest gossip in town. In her words "Chidinma has done her part and left, does that mean you have to continue in that part". She carried on to use scenarious to illustrate her concern, trying to get me to think about her points. She  eventually got the cue that I was not interested, she  prayed for me and we left it there. I carried on doing what I was doing, at this point, let just say I had no emotions, that part of me I felt died quite sometime ago or maybe I chose to bury it.  However, it would be fair if  some girls could see through that, I generally do not show emotions but they fail to realise or maybe just chose to play along with the game and then got hurt. Maybe I pretended so well they didn't see it coming. I am precisely sure some of them were in denial and assume they could change me. Wrong.

 Well to change, is not that easy, change does not happen with a click of a finger or someone professing their love. All I felt then was numbness and taking revenge or doing whatever felt I was paying back. Funny enough, despite all my fronting deep down I knew whatever I was doing was not revenge but I could not own up to it.  I suppose it got to the point I could not control what I was doing. I felt like the "good me"  had died and the "bad me" had totally taken over.  Regardless, I still had my head screwed on in terms of making it and being successful but my emotional side of me was just DEAD or so I thought.

I went back to Nigeria to start my NYSE and I must say my offers were just open book. It was surreal,  like I didn't have to talk or communicate, it was there offered on a silver platter. I enjoyed doing whatever it was my eyes fancied, making sure I was careful to protect myself emotionally and physically.  I suppose one of the things that got me sort of annoyed sometimes were mainly the way some females would try their best i.e. change accent, form accent or pretend to be from abroad just to get me. For real, but yeah it was whatever, I just felt I could have whatever females I wanted, when I wanted it etc.  Until one day, all that changed for good, one of my friend I  met during my camp invited me to come for a group meeting. Initially, I was reluctant but decided to go eventually, now its not  a place I would normally go or associate myself. I am not your average believer, for me believing in God was standard and that was it. Anything in relation to worshiping or going somewhere was not my scene. I tend to stay away even when I was great emotionally. I suppose to an extent my parents never forced anything on me or told me it was this way or never. They were regular worshipers, believers and that was it. Unlike Jide that grew up in a proper Christian home, i.e. prayer and worship took place each morning. I would not say I felt comfortable staying with him  for few days in his family home, his mum constant name calling each morning just turned me off completely during any devotion time.

So why was it that I found myself crying like a little boy that seemed like his "ball" was taken from him? Well I went to this gathering with the hope of getting him  off my back  but what I met with  was different. It was a group of youths, that got together to share their personal experiences and what they have been through and relaying how God has brought them far. They called it "EASE UP"the name itself was ridiculous but intriguing none the less. Each person shares something that was close to them and everyone would sort of pray for healing concerning the person. So when it got to me, I just teared up like a child, I cried out, that was the first tear that came out of my eyes since the episode of Chidi. It was right there I knew that I was actually in pain and had alot of emotional baggage. It so weird when you cover everything up and pretend you are fine but once you open up you feel so vulnerable and so light too. I could not say much that day but they all prayed for me. I remember getting home, going straight on my knees and cried out all the pain I ever felt during the break-up. This was someone that betrayed me, hurt me in every way possible and the only way I could deal with it at the time was to cover up and hurt other people in the process.I think it was worse for me because emotionally I connected with her or felt I did and she was my first. So yeah to an extent, I did feel like this was it. Naive I guess. Need less to say,  it was as if my eyes were uncovered, I began to see alot errors in some of the  decisions I made or more like I owned up to the horrific decisions I made. I began to pray for the first time in a very long time maybe the last time I truly prayed was when I had experienced a plane accident at 8 years old and remember saying "Lord, don't kill me or take me yet" spare my life. This time I was not praying out of fear, I was praying out of convictions, I cried out my pain  and just let my spirit rip open really. I felt open, vulnerable and ready for healing.  This was how my journey to healing began.

I spent more time by myself than ever done before, in fact by the time NYSE was over, I had made up my mind to stay focused on Jesus path. It was not easy, but its worth it, why?? it was pure convictions, and I knew being  naked emotionally could not have been my own might. Truth be told, pretending its alright was what I did for a long time and it got me nowhere. I started contacting various girls that I toiled with their emotions and began to apologise and it took alot from me to do that. I had to just bare my wounds open and not live in the dark anymore, I stopped engaging in activities that I just felt brought nothing but pain and sorrow. I was just into me now, understanding me more and things around me. By the time I was 27, I had already planned certain things I would like to achieve and got a job and worked hard at it. I was no longer your average player, I am glad to admit it but I was on fire for GOD. It was a different fire though, the kind I felt was transparent and was not pretentious. I have been there done that and got the T shirt for it. It didn't feel good to know I did some horrible things,  in fact if anything I have to constantly renew my mind because the devil always tried it on me. I forgave Chidinma, even apologised to her, I heard her marriage didn't work out, the guy found out she cheated, and she also found out the same on the guy. I suppose that is not my prerogative, but I carried on focusing on myself and building myself up that I forgot  about certain things. I suppose being a Christian does not stop the fact women will still flaunt themselves at you, I had them in church, events, concerts etc. I was the eligible bachelor that everyone wanted to end up with. Each time I went to a gathering all the females were already queuing up to take a picture with me or have my number (does it sound as if am bragging, lol. I am not). But it didnt get to me, am sure if they knew my past most of them will still stay. Despite all that, I knew I didn't want to be with any woman not just yet. I had to be prepared to be the right husband in order to spot the right woman and part of that meant stripping away some ideologies that I had before. It also meant I had to pray about things and not just rely on my feelings to lead me all the time. I had to test every fruits to make sure this is the right one for me, that meant praying for wisdom, understanding, insight and foresight.

Prior to anything, I felt I didn't deserve much based what I had done in the past but great things were just falling into place to for me and it just reinforced the fact LOVE is just what God has instore for myself and many others. He just loves me regardless and it was that. I had my consequences to live for but I had grace to endure to it all and yes victory was coming in, in every hardship that came my way, I overcame in ways I did not imagine. I joined some couple of charities that was all about caring for the blind and deprived children and that made me really content. The joy I saw in their faces made me so content and the difference I felt was clear. I was in a better place and am grateful to JESUS for that opportunity. I started my new job immediately after serving and I must say its been a blessing because I find favour in different corner of the business. I had a promotion to be the youngest consultant to advise high caliber of international clients that meant I had to deal with sensitive information and this was when my integrity came into play. In fact, I am   known  and recommended for my integrity to deal fairly and equally and that attracted more international clients, you would think it would be the other way round, right? Well this is God doing.

Couple of months into me taking my leave, I was informed HR was recruiting for a new Chief Communications Officer. It was not new  that  the position came easily available.  It was as if, the candidates recruited in that position just didn't have enough commercial awareness, it was a job that became vacant often. I suppose I didn't have much expectations for the new candidate. I recall coming out of one of my bosses office when I saw her. Well its a she...(big grin). So I heard her speaking in a native language which I knew to be yoruba or sounded like it, I can't converse in it myself but understand it well. The closer I got, the more I realised it was not the mainstream yoruba most people in Niaj living in Lagos would converse with.  It was a native one like the ones they spoke in the village, the ones you saw in movies or when you go to the market.(Yes, I go to the market alot to cook my meals). I am used to some interesting pronunciations.

This particular day, I stood looking at this well dressed lady with naturally long hair, that I could only see her back but could see the client face and it  seemed really pleased.  She was communicating with him in their native language  which I later came to find out it was "ijesha" an indigenious language from Ekiti. I was still sprung at this time, the thought of someone speaking with such pride and accent to one of high caliber clients, who I came to understand was impressed with the fact she dealt with the situation in her indigenous language. News about her spread like wild fire within the business and I heard she is really helping the business to flourish, her versatile  approach to communication and speaking in different languages really is an attractive quality for the company.  It didn't stop there, I also heard she dealt with one of our Japanese clients whom she communicated with in their language. The more I heard, the more I wanted to know more about her, it was intriguing, she was just taking charge of the post and fast becoming a relevant person within the company and our business deals.

I did try to approach her but she was always busy,  talking or dealing with a situation. I suppose my opportunity was out, but was it?. Just when I thought she was probably out of reach, I heard she might be single.mmmmm,  I just kept on hearing things but never spoke to her myself, I could not wait. I said a prayer about it, I just said pls Lord, let me meet this lady. I could not believe my eyes when I saw her in the car park, conversing with the  security guard aka gateman in Niaj,. I quickly walked up to them and tried to say something but she had a phone call, great (rolls eyes). That was when I saw her face properly, I saw the prominent tribal marks on her face and  her sexy lips and nice nose structure, aside from that she was so mersmerising. My goodness, (its been ages I felt any appetite for women lol, not in a sexual way, renew your mind). I meant my chasing instinct was ready to pounce and run after her which was quite exciting but I knew I had no chance to play in it. I had to really pray about this and be sure this was it for me. She ended the phone call but I had forgotten that I was standing face-to-face with her at this point, my mind was trillion miles  away. It took me a while to hear the gateman (Calling, Oga, Oga, are you ok?). It was then I realised I was tongue tied, I genuinely didn't know what to say. I found myself stammering and this was something that didnt occur  on a normal day, am usually articulate and well spoken. For a few split seconds which felt like ages, I was totally words struck, tongue tied and blabbing absolute rubbish. funny.

I would have to continue next time.

Thanks DHK for allowing me to share this.

Thank you for reading.

God is love, love is amazing, make sure you treat yourself to some and save some for others.....


Saturday 19 May 2012

BAMIDELE !! (Follow Me Home).

Thank you for visiting.

Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone,

I hope we are doing well and great too.

Thank you and thank you for the lovely comments on my last post. I am truly grateful and appreciative. I told my Mum about the post and feedback(i tell her everything). If you are wondering "was she cool with it". I suppose she is cool mehn, lol but she is keen to get people to learn the right things and do the right things(who would not)lol. Happy Smiles.

Back to the post of today. An epic post by one of my favorites people.  Sit down, relax and enjoy  with a mug of choco chocy..lol my new name for a chocolate drink i.e. Milo... Happy smiles.

Ermmm I go by the  name  Bamidele Badmus. I suppose I am your average guy, I am fairly okish. I have been told  frequently that am blessed with good looks, nice height , nice body and nice bone structure. I work in one of Nigeria's top Investment Banks as a Financial Consultant,  I am in my late twenties and I am madly inlove with tennis. Well,  you get the  picture of me but am not here to talk about me much but to talk about something interesting facts and experiences have come to endure in this life.

To understand me better, I will take you to my University days where most of the things I came to know took place.

Rewind ten years ago when I was only 19, I was in one of the top Universities  in the East Midlands.  I spent most of my childhood years and adulthood in the UK. It was at Uni, I  met or felt I met the "love of my life" Chidima.  She was what you would call good girl i.e  respectful, kind, gentle, disciplined and sweet.  I had noticed her during "freshers week" and I could tell she was new to the country. I suppose it was the way she dressed and sorta had hair done. I introduced myself and we started talking and that was it, we became instant friends and just got along so well.  We would meet up before and after lectures, we had some modules together so we would often attend the lectures  together. We sat by each other each time and we would always save a spare seat next to each other if any of us was running late. I met my best friend Jide Oyekanmi in one of our lectures who decided to sit next on  the seat I had saved for Chidima that day. He just would not bugged no matter the consequences. The conversation sort of went along this lines.

Me: This seat is taken.
Jide: Really? I don't see anyone here.
Me:  Yes, you don't,  but its taken and the person will be here in few secs.
Jide: Ok, when the person shows up they can sit somewhere else.
Me: (Chuckled). I suppose you are not getting my point.  This SEAT is TAKEN.
Jide: Where is the person name on this seat? I am sure these seats were made  for anyone to sit on. I no dey like when people raise their voice at me.. ohh.. I no dey like am at all at all.
Me: ( I was getting irritated at this point). Well, there is no name on it, but it is taken.
Jide: Well, all of nah  British boys sef, abeg am not standing up, do your worse.
Me: So I am guessing you aint standing up.
Jide: NO,  in fact lets take this outside man to man and I finish you well well. Abi na your papa chair be dis..?? mtwchhhwww.

That was it, I could not take it anymore, for some bizarre reason it was not the attitude it was everything about him. I had given him two punches and received some in return, but it was until I was bleeding from my nose I heard the uproar  and  I realised  all these  because I wanted Chidinma to sit next to me. We both got into serious trouble and had to pay for it but that was the beginning of a great friendship.

I was friends with Chidinma for three semesters  before I asked her out. No I was not being a coward, I really just liked our friendship and the way things were. It was soo sweet and so calm and I felt I was not in that  place to put pressure on the friendship not just yet. I eventually asked her out during the summer holls and it was one of the best decisions I felt it was right at the time. I remember taking her out on her birthday which was in July and watching a movie and afterwards I asked her out right there. It was not romantic or anything but it was what I felt and she said yes. I could almost brag that I was the happiest guy at the time, Chidima was a beautiful lady and her character was sooo surreal and there was something that drew me to want her,  there was a  mystery to her. I was captivated (this sounds like a novel, I assure you,  its not). Moving on,  that "yes" was the beginning of our three years' relationship that lasted almost throughout my University years and we had great fun together. I had introduced her to my siblings and my parents when thet came down to the UK on holls  and they absolutely   loved her. She was so charming and I felt I had hit the jackpot big time.

Amongst all my friends at the time, I was the only guy in a steady committed relationship and I was happy. I must admit most of my friends at the time did commend our relationship and sometimes jealous that I had a sweet beautiful faithful lady to myself. I was happy and felt content. I had met some of Chidinma's cousins and relatives when I went to Nigeria to visit my parents who live in Nigeria. It was nice, although Mum was quite reluctant because of the different tribes, she was sure to give us  her blessings if her parents were alright with our relationship. I had propose to meet both her parents during my time in Nigeria but she kept on saying there were too busy with work and not available. At the time, I didn't think it was nothing, this was only 10 months into our relationship. Besides, we were both still young and  studying at Uni.

I didn't want to pressure her, but the more I was falling for her,  the more I felt I could not live without her and I genuinely wanted her parents to meet me and sort of get to know me. This is not the culture am used to in the UK, its usually do your thing and when you are engaged you tell your parents. I didn't want that, I wanted to give them the chance to know me first and assess my capabilities to care for their daughter. Time passed, and I still had not met both her parents, I was worried  not because I was keen to get married but because  our course was  coming to an end and I knew Chidinma had no intention of doing a  postgrad course. Its been a while now and yet we had not met both her parents, she didn't have much friends so I could not really ask questions and the cousins and relatives I asked felt it was when Chidi was ready. I shared my concern with Jide, who felt that it could be due to the different tribes and I should chill,  maybe Chidi had told them.

Chidinma did her placement in Nigeria, whilst I did mine in the UK. She decided it was best for her at the time. We would communicate vai phone, emails, etc. Once she was back in the UK, I could not wait to take her out and spoil her crazy. I went to Nigeria twice because of her to say hello and during that time, we didn't meet her parents. She assured me I should chill and after graduation we would both meet her parents. Besides,  they wanted her to concentrate on education and finish her course successfully. They told her boyfriends' were off limits until she graduated and  boys were  "distractions". Let just say,  I bought her flimsy stupid excuses and I did not know better.

Once we resumed our intimate relationship in the UK, she started acting funny, at first I thought it was due to the change of environment. But it was not, I later found that out. She was constantly rushing out, not picking my calls, avoiding lectures etc. It was all weird and strange. Until, one day, one of my female friends confided in me and said she saw her hugging a dude who had come to visit her late in the night. I was quite  nonchalant and defended saying her that it was probably nothing. I had asked Chidinma about it as I felt we were not keeping secrets from each other right? Wrong. She told me it was her cousin who had stopped by to deliver the goods her parents had sent from Nigeria. I asked why she didnt tell me before, she mentioned it was a last minuate thing and it was not something she was aware of, it was meant to be a surprise. I asked if I could see the things the cousin brought and she showed me. I suppose I had no reason not to believe her. Wrong. She showed me the things her cousin brought but not the others things he also brought which I later found out.

I had noticed she was a little bit chubby and when I asked her about it, she menitioned it was her hormones and period acting up.Again, I was informed by Jide who was told by a source that Chidinma is not to be trusted, its her "husband" in Nigieria, that is sponsering her education and that is why she does not have friends and keeps  details to herself. I refused to indugle in gossip, claiming it was a rumour built by jeaolosy. Again, Wrong. It wasn't until I began to notice  a mini bump, I guessed she could be preganant, but I was not sure.  I had to confide and explain my doubts to my older sister who definitely was interested to help out. She told me outright she was preganant and I better ask her if it was mine and start playing my part. I assured my sister it was not mine because for past few months, Chidinma mentioned she wanted to be celibate, it was a hard decision but I felt she was doing it for the right reasons based on her faith. I suppose I understood her reasons, if we were getting married it would be fair to wait right? Wrong. I was the fool waiting, whilst she was tapping some.

To cut long story short, I found out she was pregnant and at this point, the bump could not longer be hidden. It was then she felt it was  "alright" to tell me the truth. I close my eyes as am typing this because it felt like the world literally shattered on that day. "Betrayal", "Confusion", "Shock", denial etc took over. I could not understand how someone could play with another human being emotions like that. To say she was wicked would be giving her credit. I could not carry on with my course, I had to take time out, I could not do it, face her in lectures, see her with another man's child etc.  I found it difficult  to accept she was married. It was her husband that had sponsored her education and eveytthing. She said she loved me but I could not see the love in that. If anything she hated me and took me for a right  "mugu". All I can say I began to HATE women and that was when the whole play boy thing started.

Yes, I did it, played and toiled with their emotions, broke so many hearts if they had any, pretended to care where I clearly did not. I went in the opposite direction, I allowed the situation to  bring  out a "beast" in me that I didnt think I had. I was cursed, insulted  and told off by women but I did not care. I was taken out revenge and it felt awesome. I was what  I would call at the time  "green snake under the green grass".  My friends could not believe who I became over night or what I was capable of doing. In fact, it got the point, Jide was begging me, Jide the top player was begging me to stop playing with females emotions and giving a ridiculous long lecture about how the past should be a lesson to move on. I should forgive and forget and this and that.  I could never forgive, or forget.  At the time, I questioned which part was worse, the fact I had to move Uni  because I just could not hack it mentally or that everything about Uni reminded me of her? Besides, is it the  part I gave her my TRUST and she chucked it back in my face or the pain she caused my family. It was not even about being a man, in fact that was when I knew what it felt to be a "broken man". I was incredibly broken and I had no heart to show for it.

Something happened though, everything didnt change but it made sense.

I would have to continue in another post.

Thanks for reading.

God is love, love yourself and on others..


P.S. Excuse any typos.... 

Friday 4 May 2012

Dad (The Wrong Husband for MUM).

Thank you for visiting.

 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello People,

I dare say how are we???

 CHORUS. We are blessed. you berra say it with belief you don't know the angel passing around.lol.....

Thank you for the lovely comments I received in my last post, it was nice doing it. Thank you to all my tagess that have taken part and yet to take part. I am also grateful to Simply Mee for the LEIBSTER award that is soo sweet...  I have tagged five people.

Rules are:
1) Link back to the person who gave it to you and thank them.
2) Post the award to your blog.
3) Give the award to 5 bloggers with less than 200 followers that you appreciate and value their blog.
4)Leave a comment on the 5 blogs to let them know that they have received this award.


My five bloggeeeessss are  Destiny Unveiling Gold  Gbemisoke  in the midst of her Okeoghene.
Enjoy the blog.... Yay.

Back to the title of the post. So this will be a quickish post.

The idea is just to explain and convey some interesting understanding.

I am a very happy person, YES I AM HAPPY and my happiness is infectious ask one of my friends in real life she has a blog too Jelony (if you are brave lol. am kidding). Moving on, I am not traumatised  or badly affected by my parents marriage but I have come to know alot of things and understand a great deal about humans and their MENTAL STATE.

This post is going to just be about my Dad being the wrong person for Mum.

If you met my mum and dad, they are two completely different people. Mum is so organised and likes to plan everyday. Dad is the opposite, he lives for the moment. Mum is a ambitious and a goal getter and  Dad is all about making money and living for the moment. Dad is selfish and thinks about himself in fact he thinks about having fun and having more fun. To be honest, I have no issue with that (having fun) but what I find annoying is the lack of responsibility he has towards  "us" his children and first ones too. He just does not GET IT and I dont think he ever will and if he ever does, I dont think I have it in me to care.

Growing up, I was sort of close with Dad, he was never in the picture much, he went away to work in the sea (he is an engineer) and he would come back and spend three days or less with us. Each time he came around, I was always happy and giddy up giddy up,, will scream daddy daddy and jump on his huge belly. Lol. He would lift me up too and have a little cuddle. I liked those days but it all withered away slowly and eventually. All I remember his mum being beaten or Dad never showing up to anything birthdays, school ceremonies, occasions nothing. He was absent, for a like good total ten years or plus I never had a relationship with him at all(there was the random visit very once in a blue moon). He would come in one day in a year and the rest disappeared, Mum used to look her best when we were younger and she tried to stay positive for us but it was really hard. Looking back now, I felt she was confused and helpless. Anyways, the older I got, the more I was interested in understanding my Dad and his actions towards mum and us.  Based on his actions, I can honestly say HE WAS THE WRONG PARTNER FOR MUM.

He was just the wrong partner, they weren't suppose to be married. They are so different. He is wrong in many ways for her.

a) She is so mature and independent. Dad is not, he is just sooo stuck in his own mentality.
b)She has the strong fear of God. He is just in his element doing his own thing and living a life of his own.
c)She is so family focused. He just doesn't seem to have it in him, in fact he seems like he just wants be single forever.
d)She plans ahead and has foresight. He lives for the moment.
e)She has wisdom. He lacks it.
f)She is supportive and encouraging. He is neither (maybe to an extent if he chooses to be).
h)She is reserved and calm. He is loud, brash and sometimes RAZZ.
i)She is a sweet nature, non abusive, non violent. He is NON of the above and more(maybe low on the violent side seeing that he is much older now lol).
k)She is so generous and  forgiving. She went through alot with her inlaws.... but Dad is not into his inlaws except (if there is something in it for him)
But DAD is FUNNY... lol. he can make you have a good laugh. That is the ONE quality mum said attracted her. He knows how to play and rough play too. I remember stepping on him once, acting like a monkey climbing a tree Dad was the tree, laying on the bed, me stepping and jumping on his beer belly and his face.. Its funny looking back and he would scoop me up too. He was,  I think very sweet(if he chooses to be), lost and clueless GUY. I remember he bought  me a baby doll that had set of feeding bottle, cloth, nappy and could wee lol.. He can be cool if he is sober.

So what attracted Mum to DAD?

I asked her once, you see mum married late, had us late too. It could be the pressure of society. According to Mum, dad pretended to be nice. I am not convinced, surely you can almost smell a dead rat.
After much digging, it turns out that Dad had hit mum during courtship, and Mum didnt think much of it?
Dad had girl friends over, Mum thought she was the main woman?
Dad seemed humble but yet never did anything outstanding for her, Mum thought because he didnt have a job?
Dad said he only wanted two children. Mum thought perfect guy?

Mum thought wrong, Dad is as clueless as a brass this is something have come to know with my relationship with him. I have asked for relationship advice in the past and mmm I cant say he helped me much to be fair. I could have just asked my KING or  Pastor and I would be fine. Mum had more to say than Dad did.  To be fair, Dad has the TEMPLATE OF "NOT A POTENTIAL,  AROUND HIS HEAD".lol.

I guess Mum thought he would change in marriage, well he did not. It tells you people do not change not at your watch. THEY only CHANGE ON EXCEPTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES of which are many. Ultimately change is down to the person who recognises it has to be done and convictions keeps them in check.

Mum mentioned she didn't really have a mentor that helped with choosing the right partner. I believe it is that but more than a mentor. It is knowing what you STAND FOR and not accepting crap. I know I am a CONFIDENT individual with a STRONG PRINCIPLES AND MINDSET and I am not willing to share my incredible lifestyle and quirky ways and dynamic structure, amazing personality and my VIRTUOUSNESS for any MAN. YOU HAVE TO BE  WELL-DESERVING AND MORE to take ME HOME cos Once I step in YOUR LIFE, IT IS FOREVER BLESSED and AMAZING (I AM CONVICTED BY IT and I know it to TRUE and besides JESUS best is what am after). I know the blessing I carry and I have to be careful who I share this with permanently i.e. HUSBAND. I am thankful to my God that has helped me to  know myself and my worth and willing to strike it out by his GRACE.

Do I blame Mum? No, how can I... her experience is something I am using as a daily lesson. She thought she was doing the right thing but its was not. I am glad she has learnt from it. I really love Mum and I appreciate the endless sacrifices she did, I cant blame her for some decisions she made because not only have they made me STRONGER, it goes to show life is a learning process, mistakes are not the END, its a stepping stone to attain better and do better.  She did not have the strong structure we have today so I suppose I do understand. Besides, in those days things were different (not making excuses).

I also think marrying someone has a lot to do with the maturity and the state of mind(will do a post on it). There are just certain mindsets I cant contain or encourage. I wont be able to HACK IT. I feel that until you are MATURE mentally,  there are certain things you will fail to consider when (praying or seeking for the right partner).

All I can tell you  is that in  life " people will posses different values and principles and you have to be sure whatever you are compromising on, is worth it. I am sorry I am  NOT SETTLING for anything, that means I am not having below standards, they are clear GROUNDED PRINCIPLES IN PLACE and if those are not met or exceeded by any dude, sorry relationship is OUT and  marriage is not by force. Abeg, am not talking myself into pretense and a life of potential HELL.

Every decision you make TODAY affects your TOMORROW. The life you are living is the life you WILL HAVE. If you are unable to see the errors of your mistakes that is nobody problem but yours only and if you affect the lives of others based on your errors, you will live to suffer the consequences. PLS LET LIVE TO LEARN from the mistakes of others and try to be better.

If you find out you are unhappy in a relationship or that he is not treating you well or viceversa or its not WORKING i.e. progressing, you are not growing mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, emotionally etc.. Pls take your bags and move on, its not about "we have been through so much together" or that he/she is forever my "soul mate" (you aint married). Besides,  are you sure you can TAKE THE CRAP IN TEN YEARS TIME multiply this by 100 and see the whalaha. It is about the people that will be involved and how they are affected and the damages that could well be avoided NOW.

I am sorry we cant always HOPE FOR THE BEST when we can make the BEST DECISIONS NOW and eventually ENJOY THE BEST by his GRACE. AMEN.

My prayer for the singles/searching, you will not enter the wrong HOME or jam the wrong guy in the right clothing. Enough said.

God will continue to minister to me and empower my vision and purpose.

P.S.  I have long forgiven Dad. Its not his fault mum said yes to him. I suppose if he had married someone else at the same level as him it might have being a different story. As for Mum, she deserves so much more than DAD could possibly offer.

God is love.Love yourself very very very well and extend this love to others. Its amazing.

Thanks for reading..

I've Been TAGGED..Whoop....

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome.

Hello People....

So, this is my first ever tag..(beaming with excitement lol). Thanks to Destiny...  I am now tagged and must share the 11 random stuff about me and answer the 11 following questions and TAG 11 people (yepa....). I share a lot of random stuff about me already so this will take alot of digging...

Post the rules
You must post 11 things about yourself.
Answer the questions that your tagger posted for you.
Create 11 questions, then choose 11 people and tag them to answer your questions.
Remember to let them know you tagged them.
No tag backs.
Let the tagger know when you answered their questions.

1) Ooo,I love my company so much that I can spend months and months  in my room and not miss anybody or notice the outside world. Seriously, am not antisocial or psycho.. I am just sooo used to my space.
2)I am a Sunday school teacher and all the children love me...lol. I think they do.. always calling me aunty, praying for me (during our who wants to pray time)lol.
3)I always make people laugh, lol. whether they are laughing at me (I dont know) or laughing with me (only God knows)lol.
4)I like cooking and I currently have 183 pictures of food posted on my fb. I even have an album dedicated to it.
5)When I was much younger during my boarding house/school years, I used to love hanging around the local canteen.I was like their number one customer but (very shamefully but still proud, its was always about watching the leftovers and munching on it nicely...loool). I am what you call professional (pickfood). I know how to pick food hheheee.. whether its on the floor, table I will eat when is HOT.llool.. Am laughing now, but trust that was hustling mehn....You cant blame me, ohh, its what happens when you have a dysfunctional father that stresses your mother to think  dropping a 4 year in a boarding school will help them avoid drama and grow normally (not in all cases). You get hungry, no mama, no papa around, you have to make do now.. So, been hustling since childhood..lol. These things also helped  build my immune system(guessing oh).  During my pick food years, which I think lasted a while maybe till I was six or soo, sha one day, I mistakenly picked a cigarette  for food until I started coughing real hard. My first and last time of smoking. I was only five.(i have had my fair share). No worries.
6) At four years old, I met one of the greatest men who fought for the right of education in Nigeria.  Taiwo Solarin, founder of Mayflower School.
7) I  cant STAND when PEOPLE chew loudly as if they are crunching some serious wood with chainsaw... as in the ones  where you want to put hands over your ears or SCREAM stop chewing LOUD HABA. lol.
8) I always pill the blood of JESUS over my food. No matter what even if I don't want to say (lord's prayer) you will hear me say BLOOD JESUS(friends have taken the micky out of me in the past lol).  Trust me, including chewing gum and mints. I am so used to it now, my subconscious minds picks it up. Although, during prayer session I pray to God to sanctify my food and the viruses oh...

9) I only trust myself to do the best job most times, hence am a control FREAK. not good. I have had to stop doing that and  allow people to demonstrate their talents.

10) I tend to rebuke myself alot through the help of the Holy spireee. When I feel I could have handled things better the littlest things like commenting. I always make a mental note to amend and be better.

11) I  always have shoe polish, I like polishing my shoes in fact, I make the effort to. Mum always had us polish her work shoes. I have being obsessed with them since. I like clean shoes and the times dad spent with us, he had us polish his shoes too, letting us know whether we did a great job or crappy ones. (I do have my good moments with Dad, if am being honest he is the  average monster I paint him to be, but he has good sides to him every now and then,   he was just the wrong partner for mum(will still do a post on it) .

11 Questions from Destiny.

1) The last place you visited?
 errmmmmmmmm a city outside London called Sheffield. I dont think I visited sha, that where my fam are based.lol.
2) What you ate for lunch?
I had chips and chicken today.
3)Do you have any beauty regime that you always use?
Nope, apart from wash face with soap in the morning. I am good to go. I have pretty cool skin. I have been told its soft and nice...lol.
4) What is your favourite beauty product?
I like using Nivea body lotion if that counts as beauty product.
5) Do you have one weakness and how you overcame it?
I used to be very narrowminded i.e. may come across judgmental. I prayed to be more loving  and not come across brash. Besides, life is not in black and white.
6)What is your biggest accomplishment in life so far?
 I am yet to discover. Apart from confessing/accepting Jesus and graduating with a great degree. I think its existence.
7)What reality show do you watch all the time?
ooo I love THE APPRENTICE... always watch UK and USA.
8) Have you done something for anyone this year?
The year is still young but done a couple of things. Yeah, I prayed for people that I didn't know through prayer points received in my email. Oh I took my family for dinner on me for the first time. that was huge.
9)Tell me about your day?
Its all about looking for jobs oohh and doing this postgrad thing. I cant wait to finish so help me God.
10) What type of man do you love?
The type that has COMMON SENSE and USES IT WISELY.On a serious note, I dont have a type per ser but I do respect guys that have good morals and right attitude all the time. I dont mind the ones  that can sing and dance and has juicy lips and sexy bum with nice biceps and loves JESUS.(OK, I need to renew my mind lol).  I do strongly love me some prayer warrior guy, a guy that can get on his knees and pray like no other and open his voice and spirit to the Lord. A type of man that knows himself without any doubt and knows his inner ambitions in life. I love the type that are honest, transparent, helpful, encouraging,  CONFIDENT and above all GETS IT "he knows how to treat a woman". I think its a combination of a lot of things to be honest. so am gonna stop here.
11) What is your favourite song?
ermmm dont think I have one yet. But I love positive songs with meaningful lyrics.

Phewwww (Done).

11 Questions from DHK

1)What hairstyle are you currently rocking?
2)How long did you spend in primary school?
3)What is your naughtiest moment ?
4)How do you express your anger?
5)What would you spend your last penny on?
6)When was the last time you treated yourself to a niceeeeeee warm food?
7) Who was the last person you said  "I love you " to?
8) What is your favourite take away dish?
9) How do you eat in public, spoon, knife, fork or hands, loud, quiet, slow, fast etc?
10)Do you polish your shoes?
11)What are your thoughts on after life?

My taggesss are:
Unveiling gold
Simply Mee
Ask Beloved
Phenominally me
9ja Foodie

Enjoy doing this.... Lol.

Thanks for reading.

God is love.

UNTIL, You ???

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Everyone...... Yay.

I hope we are fine and doing great, despite all the challenges around us my prayer is that we will always have a testimony out of it. WE WONT BE DEFEATED. AMEN.

Quick post:

Me: I always do a little post on my fb everynow and then. I told you that am a thinker, which means I do alot of 360 degree thought process about everything and I MEAN IT. Lol. Its good and its bad but most of all it makes me insightful and YEAH gets me curious even more and sometimes exhausted lol.

This is a post I left on my fb status. so it looks copied. I hate the white lines, KMT(kissing my teeth e.g. mtcheewwww).

I dont think anyone can really appreciate things until it is threatened, damaged, taken or destroyed.

Until you are sick, you cant really appreciate healthy life.

Until you lose the use of something i.e. arm, foot, eyes, nose you cant not really appreciate their work.

Until you lose your breath and find it difficult to breath, you cant appreciate the free air we have right now.

Until you lose your freedom to old age you cant appreciate your youth well enough.

Until you start having babies and rearing children with the responsibilities that comes with the  
emotional,  physical, mental, financial etc you cant appreciate your single life enough.

Until DEATH comes knocking,
 you cant really think about anything other than LIVING.

Life happens in series of stages, MOST TIMES we like to PRETEND its not there, IT WONT BE me. I am fine, 
I am in control.

Until LIFE HITS YOU AND KNOCKS 360 degrees back to the ground, YOU Realise that sometimes being in C
ONTROL does not necessarily mean you are IN CONTROL.

LEARN TO APPRECIATE EACH STAGE AND SHOW GRATITUDE. Be grateful and never think IT CANT BE me. SHOW LOVE and encourage respect.

GOD IS LOVE. anything can happen to anyone.......

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Thank you for visiting. Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome.. Hello Beautiful People, How's ever...