BAMIDELE !! (Follow Me Home).

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Hello Everyone,

I hope we are doing well and great too.

Thank you and thank you for the lovely comments on my last post. I am truly grateful and appreciative. I told my Mum about the post and feedback(i tell her everything). If you are wondering "was she cool with it". I suppose she is cool mehn, lol but she is keen to get people to learn the right things and do the right things(who would not)lol. Happy Smiles.

Back to the post of today. An epic post by one of my favorites people.  Sit down, relax and enjoy  with a mug of choco chocy..lol my new name for a chocolate drink i.e. Milo... Happy smiles.

Ermmm I go by the  name  Bamidele Badmus. I suppose I am your average guy, I am fairly okish. I have been told  frequently that am blessed with good looks, nice height , nice body and nice bone structure. I work in one of Nigeria's top Investment Banks as a Financial Consultant,  I am in my late twenties and I am madly inlove with tennis. Well,  you get the  picture of me but am not here to talk about me much but to talk about something interesting facts and experiences have come to endure in this life.

To understand me better, I will take you to my University days where most of the things I came to know took place.

Rewind ten years ago when I was only 19, I was in one of the top Universities  in the East Midlands.  I spent most of my childhood years and adulthood in the UK. It was at Uni, I  met or felt I met the "love of my life" Chidima.  She was what you would call good girl i.e  respectful, kind, gentle, disciplined and sweet.  I had noticed her during "freshers week" and I could tell she was new to the country. I suppose it was the way she dressed and sorta had hair done. I introduced myself and we started talking and that was it, we became instant friends and just got along so well.  We would meet up before and after lectures, we had some modules together so we would often attend the lectures  together. We sat by each other each time and we would always save a spare seat next to each other if any of us was running late. I met my best friend Jide Oyekanmi in one of our lectures who decided to sit next on  the seat I had saved for Chidima that day. He just would not bugged no matter the consequences. The conversation sort of went along this lines.

Me: This seat is taken.
Jide: Really? I don't see anyone here.
Me:  Yes, you don't,  but its taken and the person will be here in few secs.
Jide: Ok, when the person shows up they can sit somewhere else.
Me: (Chuckled). I suppose you are not getting my point.  This SEAT is TAKEN.
Jide: Where is the person name on this seat? I am sure these seats were made  for anyone to sit on. I no dey like when people raise their voice at me.. ohh.. I no dey like am at all at all.
Me: ( I was getting irritated at this point). Well, there is no name on it, but it is taken.
Jide: Well, all of nah  British boys sef, abeg am not standing up, do your worse.
Me: So I am guessing you aint standing up.
Jide: NO,  in fact lets take this outside man to man and I finish you well well. Abi na your papa chair be dis..?? mtwchhhwww.

That was it, I could not take it anymore, for some bizarre reason it was not the attitude it was everything about him. I had given him two punches and received some in return, but it was until I was bleeding from my nose I heard the uproar  and  I realised  all these  because I wanted Chidinma to sit next to me. We both got into serious trouble and had to pay for it but that was the beginning of a great friendship.

I was friends with Chidinma for three semesters  before I asked her out. No I was not being a coward, I really just liked our friendship and the way things were. It was soo sweet and so calm and I felt I was not in that  place to put pressure on the friendship not just yet. I eventually asked her out during the summer holls and it was one of the best decisions I felt it was right at the time. I remember taking her out on her birthday which was in July and watching a movie and afterwards I asked her out right there. It was not romantic or anything but it was what I felt and she said yes. I could almost brag that I was the happiest guy at the time, Chidima was a beautiful lady and her character was sooo surreal and there was something that drew me to want her,  there was a  mystery to her. I was captivated (this sounds like a novel, I assure you,  its not). Moving on,  that "yes" was the beginning of our three years' relationship that lasted almost throughout my University years and we had great fun together. I had introduced her to my siblings and my parents when thet came down to the UK on holls  and they absolutely   loved her. She was so charming and I felt I had hit the jackpot big time.

Amongst all my friends at the time, I was the only guy in a steady committed relationship and I was happy. I must admit most of my friends at the time did commend our relationship and sometimes jealous that I had a sweet beautiful faithful lady to myself. I was happy and felt content. I had met some of Chidinma's cousins and relatives when I went to Nigeria to visit my parents who live in Nigeria. It was nice, although Mum was quite reluctant because of the different tribes, she was sure to give us  her blessings if her parents were alright with our relationship. I had propose to meet both her parents during my time in Nigeria but she kept on saying there were too busy with work and not available. At the time, I didn't think it was nothing, this was only 10 months into our relationship. Besides, we were both still young and  studying at Uni.

I didn't want to pressure her, but the more I was falling for her,  the more I felt I could not live without her and I genuinely wanted her parents to meet me and sort of get to know me. This is not the culture am used to in the UK, its usually do your thing and when you are engaged you tell your parents. I didn't want that, I wanted to give them the chance to know me first and assess my capabilities to care for their daughter. Time passed, and I still had not met both her parents, I was worried  not because I was keen to get married but because  our course was  coming to an end and I knew Chidinma had no intention of doing a  postgrad course. Its been a while now and yet we had not met both her parents, she didn't have much friends so I could not really ask questions and the cousins and relatives I asked felt it was when Chidi was ready. I shared my concern with Jide, who felt that it could be due to the different tribes and I should chill,  maybe Chidi had told them.

Chidinma did her placement in Nigeria, whilst I did mine in the UK. She decided it was best for her at the time. We would communicate vai phone, emails, etc. Once she was back in the UK, I could not wait to take her out and spoil her crazy. I went to Nigeria twice because of her to say hello and during that time, we didn't meet her parents. She assured me I should chill and after graduation we would both meet her parents. Besides,  they wanted her to concentrate on education and finish her course successfully. They told her boyfriends' were off limits until she graduated and  boys were  "distractions". Let just say,  I bought her flimsy stupid excuses and I did not know better.

Once we resumed our intimate relationship in the UK, she started acting funny, at first I thought it was due to the change of environment. But it was not, I later found that out. She was constantly rushing out, not picking my calls, avoiding lectures etc. It was all weird and strange. Until, one day, one of my female friends confided in me and said she saw her hugging a dude who had come to visit her late in the night. I was quite  nonchalant and defended saying her that it was probably nothing. I had asked Chidinma about it as I felt we were not keeping secrets from each other right? Wrong. She told me it was her cousin who had stopped by to deliver the goods her parents had sent from Nigeria. I asked why she didnt tell me before, she mentioned it was a last minuate thing and it was not something she was aware of, it was meant to be a surprise. I asked if I could see the things the cousin brought and she showed me. I suppose I had no reason not to believe her. Wrong. She showed me the things her cousin brought but not the others things he also brought which I later found out.

I had noticed she was a little bit chubby and when I asked her about it, she menitioned it was her hormones and period acting up.Again, I was informed by Jide who was told by a source that Chidinma is not to be trusted, its her "husband" in Nigieria, that is sponsering her education and that is why she does not have friends and keeps  details to herself. I refused to indugle in gossip, claiming it was a rumour built by jeaolosy. Again, Wrong. It wasn't until I began to notice  a mini bump, I guessed she could be preganant, but I was not sure.  I had to confide and explain my doubts to my older sister who definitely was interested to help out. She told me outright she was preganant and I better ask her if it was mine and start playing my part. I assured my sister it was not mine because for past few months, Chidinma mentioned she wanted to be celibate, it was a hard decision but I felt she was doing it for the right reasons based on her faith. I suppose I understood her reasons, if we were getting married it would be fair to wait right? Wrong. I was the fool waiting, whilst she was tapping some.

To cut long story short, I found out she was pregnant and at this point, the bump could not longer be hidden. It was then she felt it was  "alright" to tell me the truth. I close my eyes as am typing this because it felt like the world literally shattered on that day. "Betrayal", "Confusion", "Shock", denial etc took over. I could not understand how someone could play with another human being emotions like that. To say she was wicked would be giving her credit. I could not carry on with my course, I had to take time out, I could not do it, face her in lectures, see her with another man's child etc.  I found it difficult  to accept she was married. It was her husband that had sponsored her education and eveytthing. She said she loved me but I could not see the love in that. If anything she hated me and took me for a right  "mugu". All I can say I began to HATE women and that was when the whole play boy thing started.

Yes, I did it, played and toiled with their emotions, broke so many hearts if they had any, pretended to care where I clearly did not. I went in the opposite direction, I allowed the situation to  bring  out a "beast" in me that I didnt think I had. I was cursed, insulted  and told off by women but I did not care. I was taken out revenge and it felt awesome. I was what  I would call at the time  "green snake under the green grass".  My friends could not believe who I became over night or what I was capable of doing. In fact, it got the point, Jide was begging me, Jide the top player was begging me to stop playing with females emotions and giving a ridiculous long lecture about how the past should be a lesson to move on. I should forgive and forget and this and that.  I could never forgive, or forget.  At the time, I questioned which part was worse, the fact I had to move Uni  because I just could not hack it mentally or that everything about Uni reminded me of her? Besides, is it the  part I gave her my TRUST and she chucked it back in my face or the pain she caused my family. It was not even about being a man, in fact that was when I knew what it felt to be a "broken man". I was incredibly broken and I had no heart to show for it.

Something happened though, everything didnt change but it made sense.

I would have to continue in another post.

Thanks for reading.

God is love, love yourself and on others..

xxx

P.S. Excuse any typos....