I hope we are all well and enjoying 2013, thank God for life and life in abundance.
Its been a while since have updated. So here we go:
I am currently chilling with the fam so am at home. I have taken up jogging, it requires me waking up early as 5:30 (good for the soul right?) and I have lost a size I can see a difference on my clothes. Late last year to early this year, I wore UK size 12, now am back at UK size 10 and I can just about squeeze into a size 8 (Yippee). Not bad, I also have changed my eating habits, e.g. cutting down on hours I eat late, eating smaller portions of food and drinking loads of water with lemon. I will share some pics also. I must say I have not jogged since coming home on holls my excuse (running up and down the stairs is also exercise lol).
Back to the topic of the day, So what with the title? (i actually think its a saying or a quote). The moment I understood this saying, the moment my life became easier and better lol(kidding). As someone that generally takes everything in life seriously lol, I never understood how one can devote time and energy into somebody or something and they never get the same attention or level of involvement back or never just got there. Besides, different things have different meaning to people. You see, in life we are influenced by different situations that also influence our mindsets, values, thought process and actions. Each character or attitude we have/depicts is a result of an influence of some sort whether we are conscious of it or not or its intrinsic in our character. For instance, I like to think am helpful, if/when I see anyone struggling with bags or heavy things I offer to help. I can say this influence I have had is from my family (well mostly Mum) and I also know how it feels when you carry heavy things and just need help. This attitude has been influenced not only by my family but by other situations around me. Based on influences, some of us make decisions that are different to the norm. I have also come to realise that as individuals, based on our influences, core values and mental state we all have different priorities in life.
For me, priorities are things that are important to me and I am also passionate about them however not in all cases but they add value and meaning to my life in some sort of way. Our priorities also change mainly because we grow, experience and develop and what used to be important / priority 5 years ago is no longer relevant e.g. falling in love (the term is subjective but I know me five years and now the term is irrelevant).
I will use the context of relationships, friendships or people in general to discuss the topic. I find that some of us due to the we are, we consider certain things important than others whilst to some it aint. Due to this, I think some people or many people get hurt in the process. For instance, for some people they think friendships is about communicating and telling each other all the secrets in this world. Whilst you find yourself telling all your secrets to somebody you consider your friend, you find out they don't do that with you? Could it be they don't place you on that friendship pedal stool like you or better still, they don't consider sharing secrets true friendships? It could be anything... Whilst you make time to call, text or check on somebody, you find that they don't do the same for you or with you? In my own opinion, no matter what the excuses are (as we all never run out of them), to me it means they don't see you the way you see them. It not such a bad thing, because again we all influenced by different things and are moved by different situations and we all have priorities. It is only bad when people never take time to communicate/ be honest or they lead you on pretending to be this whilst they are not.
For some of us we find its frustrating when people do not relate to us as we want them to or think they should. On the other hand, the other people might be the way they are as a result of past hurts and experiences which again influences their priorities meaning what they would usually hold dear is no longer the same. For some people, stuffs like sharing secrets never mattered to them because to them that not what they consider friendships or perhaps they have no secrets to share or do not consider anything as secrets etc. I guess this is where communication does take place to better understand each other values and mentally relate well to each other.
I suppose for me, its not so much what people place value on, its much of I don't like feeling stupid or be stupid and I always read between the lines. Whilst this might not always be the case, I think its important when to know its time to draw the line and just plainly understand "there is no point flogging a dead horse". No matter how much you invest, try or cajole, if somebody isn't changing or budging to make you a priority i.e. give you the same attention as you give them or even place you higher. I simply think, to them you are an option or better still nothing at all or they are not ready/not into you. Whichever, I think the sooner one realises this, the better you know how to strategically deal with some issues that come your way.
We all do it, we make people priorities and some people options and vice versa. With time, some people you thought were "options" become priority due to some eureka moments whatever/whenever that occurs and some that were "priorities" become options again maybe you read between the lines and thought "things gotta change" whichever way. I believe its best to tell yourself the truth, face reality and deal with it.
In all fairness, placing people as options is not such a negative thing (though I don't encourage it in some situations e.g. in relationships), but providing that the level of investment is about the same or better still not exhausting. Some people like being options whether its in relationships or otherwise. Personally, I don't like giving my best knowing that the other person wont and isn't bothered to. It really does not encourage me. I know my worth.
For me, my best solutions to dealing with encounters such as this i.e. placing people as priorities/options.
First establish an understanding of the person in question or the situation (consider their attitudes and scenarios). Understanding a variety of issues gives people scope on dealing with them.
Communicate if allowed by the person and maintain transparency. This offers opportunity to gauge things in order to make prepared and better decisions. If you sense things and you communicate it, yet no amendments then I guess you have to ask yourself the ultimate question.
Importantly you can be led to pray for them and lift them in love because you never know the deep battles people are fighting in their personal lives. I guess if you had a really good rapport, vibe and understanding beforehand it would facilitate this approach. For some, it simply the case of we live and learn or time will tell.
Like everything that has less time invested in it, it will die and on that note, if we don't want it to die we have to keep trying. In most cases, we only try with things that we consider important and are of benefits to our lives or to others etc.
In conclusion, you will meet various people in life and situations will occur but before anything, its important we know ourselves and what we consider important. If we are able to communicate great. Just bear in mind that people react to things differently based on their personal values, motives and mindsets.
Please feel free to add your comments or contribution.
Thank you for reading.
God bless you and hope we all had a wonderful EASTER.
Such a poser...
Nothing like noodles and eggs. Yummy. x