Boredom/ Break Up Lines!

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Hello People,

Hope you are having a great Saturday.

P.S. This post was supposed to be posted yesterday  FRIDAY.

Thanks for all the lovely comments from the post. I feel the love and am loving them too. My is head GBOINZ @ the moment…

Boredom is unhealthy, o well this is what happens to some of us in our jobs and routine. 

So, listening to Celine Dion via Grooveshark and I am swaying to the lyrics,  going to dreamland and dancing in slow motion, doing all sort of moves that will most likely break my bones if it were in real life lol….

 Anyhoo, something popped in my head which is the classic break up lines and it got me thinking why chose those words. why!! Also some of the words are so recycled  o jare.

Line no1

It’s not you it’s me… #what does that even mean#?

Line 2

It just not working for me… #it’s so rinsed out#

Line 3

Irreconcilable differences #are you kidding me#? You didn't think or knew you two were different.

 In fact this  line 3, every tom, dick and harry uses it. Smh (shakes my head).

Line 4

I think we need a break. #raises eyebrow more like you want a break#

Line 5

I think we should stay friends… #why?

Line 6

I am just not feeling it?#ermmmm ok#

Line 7

You are too much for me, I don’t feel like I deserve you. # yimu# (scoffs).

Line 8

I have been so busy lately and I don’t think it’s fair on you. #right#, you can create time if you wanted.

There are prolly so much more that I have not mentioned nor highlighted. I just believe in communication so much and I recommend   face to face. If someone meant so much to you and you held them dear, I am pretty sure communicating how a thing is a great step. But then again, some relationships were not supposed to be deep. I guess it depends on the  individual and their motives.

Peace, Blessings and Joy.

God has an incredible sense of humour its unbelievable. lol. Love you G.

Have a great weekend.Oooo share your favourite break up lines or the amusing ones.

Will bring more randomness… heheh Lol. xx

Prolly- probably

Its a Buffday Ting....in it.!!!

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Hello People,

I hope we are doing well oo.... Thank you to all that commented on the last post.. more coming your way. *winks* For the birthday wishes... thank you for your generous prayers and love... Much appreciated.

I am specially thankful to my awesomeness, wholeness, precious KING for another opportunity to experience life and share my talents and purpose. I pray I will not die and none will die but continue to live to declare and praise his name. I pray for as many of us as are seeking the face of the Lord  for anything that He will come to our need and aid...

I am also thankful to my special Mum for all that she has done and still doing. Nobody can ever understand a mothers love.. SHE IS ONE OF A KIND. A VERY RARE GEM. xxxx

Back to the gist, my birthday fell on a Saturday and am not gonna lie I have been thanking God before this day and I must say I feel I need to step up and grow up i.e. develop alot more and begin to LIVE.
I also must add, part of growing up is about learning and developing to be better than yesterday so therefore am planning on carrying out a deep research on me and begin to identify areas I need to work on.. This should be alot of work and fun too. I will keep you  lovelies posted.

How I spent my  B-day.

I dyed  my hair red and had a hair cut too(shhh it came out gingery red).lol..  I still like it, its not very bright because I didnt bleach the hair, am not sure I am ready for that i.e. the bleaching. I am supposed to be going natural sometime this year but am not ready o jare lol..  The look I have is definitely much older and possibly edgy...

I did hair thing on Friday, got a dress for the wedding for Saturday because the Taylor messed up again (this time she didn't even bother calling me or replied any of my calls ). Anyhoo, the devil you know is better than the one you dont know and No i havent paid oo.

You are wondering why wedding? Well one of my friend's sis was getting married in another city, I had been saying I will come oh I must come oh.. I didn't know the date was gonna fall on my bday... well I turned up and I met up with one of my craziest friend. I say crazy because she is indeed random. lol. We fight and make up. I was gonna blog about "us" sometime but I couldn't be bothered. Anyhoo we are now friends for now,  before she does another craziness on me.hahahaha.. She made sure I had a good time.  I applaud her for that.

We were also suppose to jam another parry,  but it was starting late and the wedding finished too early.. We couldn't be bothered to hang around jor. So we went home, I stayed over till Sunday.  I am so grateful for the warmth, love and generosity I felt from her family... soo sweet.. I got cake, card, lipstick, money, wishes etc etc. Overall what a great day to spend the weekend. We definitely had loads of fun and laughter.. awww.. phew.. As usual, am told I can be a alot to handle ohh.. kai, but my friend can exaggerate.. hehe

Enjoy some of the pics.. Next year by God's grace am sooo doing/having a PARRY cos I will be a quarter of a century.. HALLELUJAH.. soo get ready for the gele's oh. hehe

                                     Apparently I have tiny eyes..  so they say..lol

 

Looks like one nollywood pose..hahahah

P.S. Thanks for reading and visiting.

P.S.S. Currently studying mandarin,  a Chinese language,  will keep you posted. 

Btw my sis speaks so well, infact she got a scholarship to study the language in China sef.. I need to record her oo.. lol.

P.S.S.S. keep safe, keep on keeping on. God will guide us through.. JESUS BEST. XXXX

The One I met before 2

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Hello beautiful ladies and handsome lads…… 

Hope you are cooolllll…

Welcome greetings to my new followers and greetings to my old followers. Kisses and hugs..xx

Back to the much anticipated continuation of the story  click HERE  for part 1.

P.S. The post is longish because I know you just want to read it all now..lol

Segun and I decided to go for the slow and steady pace type of relationship where everything happens in slow motion lol. Am kidding, we tried not to place unnecessary pressure on each other instead take each moment in. This was our motto “unravel the dreams and soak in each day”. We came up with the words together, wrote it together and tried implementing it. With our motto we were able to visit six different cities in the UK in three months, fundraised to reach targets for our respectful charities  and so much more. It was fun and we took advantage of every slight opportunity. The memories created were just wonderful, and I loved it all. 

I had initially felt something was not right with Segun but I didn’t want to say anything or felt it was all in my head. It was exactly six weeks before my final year exams when Segun called to discuss exactly what my doubts were.

The conversation which I remember vividly played out like this.

Segun: Hey,

Me: Helooooo, what’s good?

Segun: God’s goodness.

Me: (laughs). Ok o share the good news.

Segun: How’s your work going?

Me: Its good. So are you not sharing the good news?

Segun: Well, something is bugging me.

Me: (begins to somewhat sweat it) what is it?

Segun: Ok, this has been bugging me for a while but I have not said anything because a) I am trying to see how I can best articulate my points b) I have been trying to figure  out the perfect time and place  to tell you. I figured I should just say it now and get it in the open. I am not HAPPY.

Me: Ok.

Segun: Won’t you ask me why?

Me: No not really. You said you figured you should get it out in the open so..

Segun: Ok, fine it cool. I will go ahead and explain why anyway. Am sure you are just being stubborn as usual. Bisi mii, you know how much am down for you right? You also know how much I respect you and your values and you also know I value your place in my life. The reason why am not happy is because I can no longer wait or tell myself to wait. I am attracted to you and I know for a definite you are also attracted to me too. I feel we should go to the next stage now, seriously I feel punished.

Me:Ok.

Segun: Is that all you will say throughout the convo.

Me: ermm I don’t know. Am busy so mind is everywhere.

Segun:  I guess you are really busy. I will leave you to get on with your work.

 Well from the conversation you can pretty much guess what happened. It didn’t end there, just a week later we broke up and I did the breaking by text.  For reasons that were personal, I began to withdraw and recoil and felt it was unfair on Segun. I suggested we went on a break whilst I sort my head out. I didn’t want it to happen yet I wanted to wait but at the same time I knew deep down this break was not short it was going to be long if not forever.

The thing is, I didn't know how to tell him nor did I trust myself to tell him the truth. Time and time I have felt the need to say  what was on my mind it but the words just hung in the air and when I do attempt,  I utter  different words and make  comments  like “You are incredible” etc(which I mean). I cried my eyes out and I could not stop crying when I composed the three line sentences. It was painful but I had to hurt myself and hurt him to save him from further compilations. I am mean, I know, but hey life was mean to me and though it’s not his fault I rather protect him than tell him the truth for now. I knew this day would come where he would want to get sexually intimate but I could not offer it. I had to mentally prepare for my surgery which was due to take place in two weeks, this surgery, I was determined had to be my final surgery.

I had been doing a lot of fasting and praying believing and trusting God this miracle will be mine. I have never had so much faith or expressed my faith this much before. This time around I wanted it and wanted my life back. Years of surgeries and constant reconstruction has had it toll me in every way possible be it social, physical, mental etc. I wanted my healing since when I could remember the pain of constant surgery but I genuinely wanted to have a   testimony.

 There are times I blamed my parents and felt if only they were more cautious and actually tried to be more constant at home and not working long hours all the time, maybe things would have been different. They do try their best and all these surgeries ate up both their financial resources. I have watched them cry, scream, shout and try to console me and each other that things will get better.

I was exactly three years old when Mum found me, behind the broken chair in the laundry bleeding heavily. She didn’t know what to do, but she immediately took me to the hospital. Based on doctor’s report, the housemaid at the time had been sexually assaulting me under both my parents’ noses and they didn’t know. I can’t remember so much now but I remember the fear and pain and I was told I will be killed if anyone found out. It wasn’t just him, he had two friends too.  The damage was severe, the infection had completely spread, it had gotten worse and nobody noticed. Mum and Dad worked from morning into the nights. Victor was a quick fix, the house maid had left without notice, they needed someone that will be available on a temporary basis until they found a house girl (Female maid). Victor was quickly hired based on the gateman recommendation. No background check, Mum and Dad too busy chasing the deals. I was an accident baby so the opportunity for Mum to be at home with me was not part of the option.

Back to the surgery I wanted this to be my last. I found the Surgeon based on my GP’s recommendation. He was kind, he had outlined what he intended to do and how it will work but assured me there was no guarantee i.e.  it would not be perfect but I will be near normal.

I refused to hold onto his words, though they pierced my heart. I was holding on to GOD, my relationship with God has been off and on. One minute am on it, the next am not because I get so depressed I sometimes feel like what the point?   Until I read a testimony similar to mine and I saw the visuals too. Even with that I had doubts and questions. However, instead of being depressed, I decided this testimony will be mine too. I believed it and I prophesied it. I kept saying God use his hands and make me whole again no more surgeries.

I had to defer some of my exams but it was worth it. I am always amazed each time I go for a check-up and  the Surgeon is also amazed that not only  did I heal properly, I am so normal. It’s been mine own miracle and when I graduated I didn’t hesitate to work with a charity that dealt with rape victims and I got to share my own experience of my ups and downs. I also started projects across Africa to campaign against child molestation and rape and to put in place laws that will change the face of rape. I worked with medical associates willing to donate and help victims that have suffered severe rape and need reconstruction.

All this while, I had kept myself and could not stop thinking about Segun. Three years seemed like a long time but I was waiting for another miracle from my Daddy. I had to trust somehow that he was still out there waiting for me. I knew Tayo didn’t say anything to him other than “keep praying for her”.  He would rage, cry and get angry was what Tayo told me. Tayo was the only one that knew about me and she also didn’t understand and never questioned me. Her mum was the nurse that referred us to the hospital that helped treat the infection I had, at the time it seemed impossible to access the right medical treatements because most hospitals simply didn't have access to adequate and updated medical resources. Tayo’s Mum never treated me less and I spent more time at theirs than I did with mine.  

The following year I went to Nigeria to visit my family, cousins and nephews. It was during the visit to one of the restaurants that I saw my sweetheart again. We were about to place an order when I heard the voice of a man next to me and I was certain that deep voice only belonged to one person Segun. I turned around Lo and behold “It was him I saw and I was about to utter his name when petite pretty Asian lady came to stand next him. He placed his hand around her waist and I saw what I know to real a wedding band.  They looked lovingly into each other eyes and exchanged kisses. I was looking and feeling like a 110% Mugu(fool), I was numb and  I could only see the customer service assistant lips moving, it was as if everything was happening in slow motion.

 I immediately ran out and yeah started crying and muttering stupid stuff to myself. Bisi how could you be so stupid and foolish. You need to grow up and let the young love go. It is not to be. These were what I was telling myself walking to my parked car, as I approached my car, a hand grabbed me.I was about to approach the grabber with a Taekwondo style (Yes, I learnt martial arts to fight oh), I turned around to find it was SEGUN… WHAT..

I was stunned and unable to speak. He said he had been calling my name and at first he thought it was not me although I had changed  he was unsure but he had to catch up with me to be sure. He gave me a hug whilst I stood there gawping.

He said  he was in the car when he saw  me, his cousin and his wife wanted something to eat. He was still talking and I was looking behind him, watching his cousin approach us with his Asian wife, I later found out she is from Singapore. They looked so much alike himself and his cousin.

He explained they both get it a lot. Between that day and for the next 3 weeks we talked, we caught up and surprisingly there were no hard feelings. He said he knew something was not right but he didn’t know and he knew deep down I cared for him but he was deeply hurt based on the way I treated him etc. I was hurt too and I could not bring myself to tell you the truth. I could not bear the shame. Segun agreed that he dated twice after me and it didn’t feel the same. He too decided to hand it over to God and pray about things. He took a break and concentrated on building his life and relationship with God.

 Its three years now and we are still going strong; the 2^nd baby is on the way and am still thankful as yesterday. Miraculously I had my first naturally despite my fears and my doctor’s fears. It was not me it is God because I didn’t plan to, we had plan a C-section in place but the baby wanted to come naturally without much ado. I am truly blessed to have come this far.

I am even happier that am taking this journey with the love of my life Segun. It sounds cheesy but dreams do come true in big and small packages. We have our challenges but we are strong and we are courageous and that my friend is JESUS love.

This post is dedicated to anyone that has been through a lot and still going through rough patches that that there is more and your testimonies will come in due season.

This is a fictional story based on fictional characters; any correlation to real life incidents is purely coincidental.

Inspired by the Holy Spirit, written by me..

God is good even we doubt his love and existence.

P.S. Excuse any typos. I think i have to go back to  grammar school (not kidding, lol).

P.S.S. It my birthday this SATURDAY, YAY me is turning ermm.. 20something.lol. 

Thanks for the pressies in advance. 

I thank God for life and grace to be here. xxx 

The One I met before

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Hello Blogsville,

Its been a while since have done a post on interesting stories... hehe.. so am bringing you the latest..

Relax with a cup of cocoa... actually Milo to be precise and enjoy.. xxoxo

This is the story of Bimpe  and Segun.

I am naturally not someone that likes to talk or entertain stories from random stuff.  That a little intro about me.  I recall when and where  Segun and I initially met and I  would not call it love at first sight..

Rewind back to my college days during A levels. I have a really close sweet friend called Tayo. We call her T, we have been friends since childhood. As the only girl  amongst four boys and  the baby of the house, it can often get lonely and boring although I like my space it can get really BORING.This time around, I decided to spend my Easter holls with my bestie.   We had already planned what we would do and things we will get up to. I was more than looking forward to it, ever since our move outside London, seeing my friend Tayo has been zero due to busy  schedules and tight deadlines. This time around we were  going to make the most of it.

The plans was to stay for 2 weeks and just have fun, fun, fun and a bit of studying. A particular night, I think it was on a Thursday to be precise. Tayo's younger bro wanted chicken and chips and would not stop bugging us. We decided to go to one of their favourites locals. In London  there are so many chicken and chip shops  its quite a miracle   that all of them are still in business despite the increased competition.

We got there  and placed our order,  as we waited, a car drove past, reversed and stopped right in front of the chicken  and chips shop. The dude that  came out of the car,  turned out to be Tayo's friend from school  in fact he was her senior back in Nigeria. He was staring  intensely at Tayo, which  irritated and provoked her to give him a long hard stare, only for her to start giggling and calling his name. Before I could ask why she was giggling, they were both giggling, hugging and talking too. My first impressions  of him were  he  looked unkept..lol. I cant stand dudes that sag, it so off putting. She introduced us and I barely gave him any eye contact.

That was it for me but Tayo would not stop going about him and how humble he is and how  respectful  he was toward ladies blah blah  at school back then. Now, he is at Imperial Uni studying Engineering blah blah. I was totally zoned off. It comes across as if I am uptight well I am actually. I come from a family that first impressions count  and failure to make a positive impression within split seconds, well  let just stay that the person will not be taken seriously. My Dad and Mum brought us that way and it instilled that in our  systems.  Although I try to think am more open-minded.

Back to the story, within the couple of days I had left, Tayo was totally catching up with her new buddy etc  whilst I focused on catching up with revision. Two days before I left for home, Tayo mentioned how  his friend wanted to see us again and that he would like me to be there. She mentioned he said something about me being beautiful and he would like my phone number if I didnt mind. I completely declined without any  further thoughts at all. In fact I was so  keen to get home asap. Tayo on the other hand,  was just so happy to see a friend from her local school and meeting more of them.

It was a year after that episode and off  I went to University and was excited to start and enjoy the experience. Again, this dude was still lingering around and  had asked on several occasions to have my number or facebook name etc. Which I declined, I simply didnt want him  to entertain him maybe there other factors at the time I could not be asked. . But everything changed when I needed his help. I had been struggling with one my modules and it was quite tough I remember discussing my frustration with Tayo who mentioned she will find out if she could help. She later  suggested her friend could help during our conversation. I demanded who the friend was and it was the dude I met last time. I was adamant and completely declined (I could not be asked was my excuse). I really felt I could this and would do it, despite all the help from the lecturers and class mates I just felt my work was not good enough. Two days before the due date, I could not longer contain the stubbornness  I went on facebook looked for him, messaged him and gave him my phone nymber. He didn't call but he replied saying he was busy.

Initially, I thought it was a tactic  but he said he was genuinely  busy. I  had to stress that I desperately needed his help and it would be appreciated and  that my deadline was 42 hours away and am  yet to write something substantial. He eventually called me and we talked, it was kind of weird but anyway we talked, he helped me, I passed and I got a 1st in that assignment and module. I called him, told him the news and decided to treat him to a dinner for helping. I was nervous on the day and that was when I knew I could either have a crush or something is up. We talked about a lot of things, weirdly enough I was relaxed, I really thought I would be uptight and but I was not. We shared a lot in common, he reads, I love reading, he  loves watching movies, he loves comedy, he loves collecting comic books, he loves trebbo lol and I do too.  He  loves mangos, he loves tennis, he loves learning new languages, cashew nuts, etc. In fact, we spent the time talking about our favourite things, movies   and actors and life in general.  It was fun and that day was the beginning  of an amazing friendship.

In my second year of University  he asked me out over a romantic meal on my birthday. I said Yes and it was lovely and we had the most amazing time together. Can I just say my first impression of him didn't change immediately but with time and communication we got there. He didn't sag when we met afterwards and said he was only trying  to do boy boy on that day lol. Whatever the case, I allowed myself to see past that and I felt good about us. I actually took some time out to do some research and prayer. Yes o.  He  opened up to me too and  he thought I was stush and very much on a high horse (I am) lol but he said the time   he decided to hand it over  i.e. the pursuing  was when I contacted him. Nice.

I was in my final year about to start exams when things began to change. Why!! is the question that keeps coming to mind.

I will have to continue next time.

Thank you for reading.

God bless you, JESUS BEST and love best.. xxx

Notions Continue........

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Hello Lovely People,

Notion 2:

I think I have heard many women say that CHRISTIAN BROTHERS are boring.. LMFO.. ahahha  I don’t know about you but some Christians  brothers are not boring including the SPIRIT  filled i.e. spiro spiro ones. Some of them may appear boring based on their looks i.e. clothes but if you get to know some of them they can be witty and fun. It all depends on what you consider as fun lol.

CHRISTIANITY does not stop or impede anyone from having an amazing personality, although you aim not to be of the WORLD (which I think that’s why some people say Christianity is boring). But there are  many Christian activities  that one can engage in and  can find stimulating e.g. reading groups, bowling clubs, football etc etc. You can even invent your own and make it fun for other people to feel comfortable Christian or no Christian. 

Notion 3:

Materialistic world:  is the current world we live in in case you didn’t know or are oblivious. Practically every prayer point is about getting more cars/bigger cars, multiple houses, a bigger EVERYTHING. It is Not about saving the world, sharing the gospel,  saving the poor/dying children, inventing a new medicine to cure cancer, inventing strategic ways to tackle  unemployment/poverty/disease  etc etc.

This is a world where if you don’t have the latest thing you are probably ermm ancient. Consequently, for some of us we love to compare ourselves with other PEOPLE, as a result our motives behind our prayer  points is associated with MORE  and MORE material things to oppress so and so.  It no longer has anything to do with God, celebrating the light in us etc etc. We are too busy comparing, contrasting and counting other people blessings that our own qualities and beauty suffers because as far as we know our little minds cannot dream big and appreciate our worth. Not only do we pray selfish prayers, we also look to other humans as gods to reach out to. Does this make sense?

Well let me elaborate, for some of us, we are moved by what we see hence we want it NOT because it is good for us but because we see it, our eyes WANT IT and so we will GO out of our way to GET IT. In doing so, we fail to anticipate or simply * disacknowledge * the costs, the consequences and potentially the hidden truth that is often not discussed.  When we get there, it sometime becomes too late to get OUT.

 You do not understand?

Some of us are JUST PLAIN GREEDY AND WE LOVE IT (But it’s sad because there are always consequences for EVERY ACTIONS be it indirect or direct).

Note: Am not saying we should not ask God for blessings. The thing is, well my believe is, he has already blessed us maybe a) We need to change our mentality, blessings does not have to be in form of material things. b)Maybe all we need to do is just ask for  direction from the Lord to use our talents and qualities to attain the riches he has promised us (knowing fully well that his riches are everlasting and it can never finish).

P.S. : Disacknowledge is a made up word… lol.

In conclusion, life is a learning process, NOBODY has it EASY.

God is good in the good times and bad. 

Notions

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Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello PEOPLE,

Shout out to the blogsville family…

Thank you to old and new followers, readers, silent and non-silent visitors  lol.xx

Not exactly feeling great at the moment after reading one of the blogsville fam post (P.E.T. PROJECT)I really don’t know what to say which is very unusual, but sometimes I find silence is not such a bad thing. It doesn’t mean you don’t care but it just seems right at the moment, nonetheless a word of encouragement is better most times.

I pray for grace for us all to live and fulfil our purpose on this EARTH. AMEN. As long as we have achieved purpose then it’s not so bad, in as much as it hurts our family and even the departed, at least we have done our part. (Although, achieving purpose is questionable and possibly subjective/ debatable).

I have been doing a lot of thinking, actually I have done a lot of thinking and probably still doing. I think I have come to an understanding if not a conclusion that many notions/ideas are quite interesting if not alarming in some cases.

Notion1: The idea that some people will do anything ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to get married is one that I find not only amusing but mentally disturbing. To starts off with, the human attention we crave for i.e. partner, spouse etc is normal but some of us are extreme because not only do we want it all i.e. a spouse, children  etc etc we will do anything or are willing to do ANTHING  within our POWER to get it.. WHY? Is my question, is that the ONLY thing we should be striving for? Seriously.  It got me thinking, so after all that shouting, prayers, fasting, visiting pastors for deliverance, meeting with witch doctors, binding the devil, doing online/offline dates all in the name of finding the ONE. What if the “one” in quote comes and he dies tomorrow, what if?? What do we do then? Or better still he comes and his manhood is chopped OFF, (Godforbid) but am sure there are people with stories like these oo, or how about if he has AIDS or she has  a disease or something…  For me, I think the craziness is becoming too much and concerning because it seems to me some of us are making these mere mortals our gods well prominent gods. 

Note:  Am not saying we should not daydream or desire for a partner, but am saying the motives is questionable and the things/sacrifices some of us are willing to make is just scary.

The fact that some of us think our partners have or should I say have   supernatural powers to maybe cure our loneliness or issues or maybe help fill the VOID is not only alarming, or disturbing. It is PURELY IMPOSSIBLE and so UNFAIR on the other person. Why: should anyone be responsible for your own happiness and wellbeing in the case of a partner, why should a mere man/woman have such a BURDEN that they are made to live and breathe YOU? Lol Nobody in this planet can fulfil you if you are not FULFILLED AS A PRESON. WHY: As humans we are constantly changing and growing and what we like yesterday can become today’s issue.  Besides, the world around us is constantly changing putting pressures on us to match up to certain standards and affluence to an extent. So if you aren’t fulfilled NOW, surely any other forms of fulfilment will be TEMPRORARY and it will be back to SQUARE ONE again. 

To elaborate, we are selfish beings and we will always want although some of us are EXTREME, it does not take away the fact that we are always needy.  So THERFORE, how can we place so much hopes and responsibilities on that ONE PERSON that is a mere mortal,  that can die anyway or RUN AWAY when it becomes too much. I think we should just aim to keep working on us and let it be o jare.

TO BE COntinued.....

EACH TO THEIR OWN.

God is good in the good times, bad times  and ugly ones. 

The Marriage Advisor !!!

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 Hello Sweet cakes,

Yes you.. lol.

So my weekend was fun,  packed with loads of bonding with Mum (she came to spend some time with me). Phew, it is not easy running around cooking, getting food, getting told off for not coming my hair (its mine oh). Also  I must indulge in a conversation I rather just not,  plus I had to teach her how to use  the new touchscreen phone she upgraded to. WOW. Its deep/intense. I love my Mum although the emotional blackmail to get what she wants is sooo not fair but I guess it is what it is. We had small fun sha, I told her (future hubby) needs to be prepared cos I foresee you becoming more demanding lol.. She did compliment me, blessed and prayed for me and my older sis. I have been told my hubby is a lucky man ohh, he will be enjoying my cooking (since a good food is a way to a man’s heart etc something along those lines). Lol. Surely, I have more to me than cooking, to which she agreed. Hehe, she is jokes.

Back to the topic of the post, I met with an Aunty (we are not related, just call her AUNTY out of respect). She has a business and sells goodies, bags, dresses, suits etc all sourced from Italy (home of fashion).  Will upload some her of goodies soon on my blog. X. Moving on, I was supposed to help her with marketing and she ended up telling me more stuff than I bargained for.

Nonetheless Aunty F, started with her gist, how we got talking about marriage I don’t know but it was through a conversation and it goes.

Note: this lady is well described as Nitty Gritty, she no send she go talk am as it is.. lol… so you have an idea who she is. Love you SIMPLY MEE.

Aunty F: No marriage is perfect. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is not happy and is lying. She argues some people in church should not be giving advice if they haven’t gone through the same experience. She gave an analogy, in the UK, they employ people that have/share similar experiences but have risen above situations to counsel others that are going through it. A case of a rape victim, it is likely that sometimes the victim is suppressed/oppressed by the reoccurrence of the situation.  Hence, the counsellor with their experience and techniques can counsel and encourage the victim because they have an idea of what it is like and know what to say. Therefore, some people in church should not give advice in a matter that doesn’t concern e.g. marriage.

I don’t know if I agree with some of her views but I saw where she came from when she mentioned some people do not tell it as it is. Too much holy holy… I guess.

Some of her points were, I think women should be told what to avoid in a man through real life examples.

Aunty F points:

Any man that does not know how to play with a child that comes running towards him or don’t know how to show love i.e. cuddle. HE WONT CUDDLE HIS OWN.

A man that likes to dress, i.e. fashionable, and everything he wears must match all the time. Be sure if you marry such man there will be rivalry and competition in the house. He will always want to outdo his wife and is jealous when his wife buys new clothes etc.

A man that has too many friends, BEWARE. One or two close friends are ok but too many then it becomes too much. This is because his friends will talk rubbish and I when he does mention his wife and her ways, they will be keen to spice the story up and offer useless advice.

A man that loves to PARTY; RUN, because he won’t change for you, it is already in his blood. By the time you marry such man, you will find that you are left babysitting the children all the time. When you do decide to confront him, he will not only remind you but tell you squarely, that you knew this was him before you said YES. “Old habits die hard”.

After courting a man for 8 years and a disappointment. She crossed out her lists and simply wrote RESPONSBILE HUSBAND which she says she has now.

As for me, I questioned her about the 8 years relationship,  why it took so LONG  and yet she missed it? (I am not particularly FOR long relationships past 3yrs or more). She said she was in denial, she felt, where will she start from. She mentioned that they had arranged everything and the day or week to the D DAY, he broke the news he wants OUT. Well, herself and her family ate the cake and enjoyed lool. She is jokes, despite the disappointment she chose to rise above it. It was if she saw it coming, i.e. the disappointment from the guy.

I have always said what you see now with your bf/gf now, multiply  the habits you can't tolerate now by  100 not 10  (when you two marry)  IF YOU CANT HACK IT NOW, PLS RECONSIDER your options cos ermmm it is your own marriage only. If he/she  is violent, no more excuses, if he/she is a cheat no more excuses, if he/she lacks respects no more excuses,  if he/she lacks moral and values no more excuses, if he/she is not fully committed no more excuses.  In  a nutshell, if you know you are living in denial then it’s time to wake up and “smell the burnt okra”. Lol.

But, sha there is nothing prayers can't not do.

I think her advise/points applies to both sexes.

So what do you think?

God is LOVE......

This is for my MUM....

                                         Randomness I enjoy @ work.

                 

The Last WEEKEND....

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Hello Everyone,

How are we?? I hope we are well.

I would like to apologise for the last post. You see, I planned on blogging on a topic at the time. I intended on saving  the title it as a draft as to remind me,  only to mistakenly click the publish button. Anyway, that blog post is coming soon). In the mean time, I will keep you lovelies updated about other stuff. Thank you SIMPLY MEE it was a blog error.. xxx


Ok, so what happened last weekend..... well, I went to London for the weekend for a family's friend wedding. It was strictly by invitation only nah, I was suppose to go with Mum but she didn't end up coming so I went with one of my fav Londoners Jelony. Off we went to one of the posh areas in London,  Bayswater, Porchester. Nice venue, nice food, nice music etc. It was niceee.. Until,well rewind.

Briefly about me, I have a very interesting mindset and character. Most people that know me mostly see my one side of me and think they know me. These includes my talkactive (yes am a talker), my constant  opinions and my expressive attitude and (uncompromising principles and standards).. Now, in my head there are things I see about me, (am posh).lool.... (i am quirky), (am intelligent) and (i can be razz). Now, the side most people tend to sometimes see is my razz side and that tends to come out when am DANCING. Hehe...

Told you once I went to MAYFLOWER, that school is one of the raziest school mehn, dont mind the fake posh people heheh. Mayflower can turn any posh person into RAZZ classic. To be fair, RAZZ has  grades..  For some, you can tell straight from when they start talking, some when they start eating, lol etc etc while some are through other things. Now, some people are generally not razz on a normal day i.e. loud or attention seeker but can be once they are drunk or tipsy etc. My own oh, its dancing  and the beats just gets me, and yes its the throwing of the waist in the air lol, the bend down low, old school (shina peters moves lol). All of this razzness I caught from MAYFLOWER and it never left. I am not shy, (mostly not). I usually dont care about what people think.. Truth is, I cant be bothered to care.

Anyways, on the day, myself and my friend jel who loves to  dance btw, started to throw way (shhh, she dances oyinbo dance lool.. am kidding love u hun.). She can sure move, in comparison, we both dont care about anyone watching, we are expressive maybe mine is alittle too much sha, lol. YES we are AWESOME dancers.  MJ has nothing on us.. seriously.

OK, whilst dancing, coupled with the fact my (tailor just completely messed up my style). I really looked like a goody two shoes (which I am) but don't like people to know that. I wanted a high waisted trousers with a nice fitted top, what she sowed was not what I asked for. The outfit was suppose to be stylish and flattering. Instead it was completely opposite, not stylish and not flattering, but I had  to wear to the wedding because I felt it was rude not to wear the aso-ebi. She rushed the outfit, hence the crap outcome(we will analyse her later lol).

Back to the dance floor, so  me and jel rocking the dance floor away, showing them how its done  with the live music. At first, I was not feeling it, but after a while I got into the groove and I started shaking my arms, shoulders, legs, waist etc etc(I bet I lost 1inch after rigorous dance boi lol). After dancing for a while, I went back to our main table, to rest and drink some water. I looked side ways, and saw  a dude on my left, signalling me to come over. AH, ah, at first (my first reaction, they have started again ohh). He was on the keyboard part of the live band, he did it again and this time (I ignored it completely). I went back on the dance floor and danced some more (I LOVE DANCING). Azonto, alanta ohh, etc me I can like to shake to them all. Thank God for the grace too. So, here we go again, back to the table, this time myself and Jelony. Whilst at the table,  the same keyboard dude beckoned again to come over, this time I pretended it was not me that it was my friend nah. She was looking HOT that day oh...
But on a serious note I hated the signal and I find it degrading at the same time. Now, Jelony didnt know who was beakoning but once she knew, she insisted I went, that dude was not bad looking. Chia, I said NO, pls am not going anywhere. You wont believe this babe was dragging me, as in a whole me,  it was so funny. I kept saying NO NO, but she wont give up, she insisted I should go and speak to him. Before this mentioned earlier before the wedding, she wanted me to meet someone, but I personally didn't just want to meet anybody nah).

Brief explanation, when it comes to certain dudes am at alert, they are alot of opportunist out there that are hoping and hoping and I always make sure am not part of their hope. lol. Personally, I already have my kind of dude I would like to approach me in my mind and with my RAZZ dance, I think some might find it intimidating or put off (am assuming). Not to sound as if am degrading myself, is not like I dance like a bush girl NO ohh. I am a good dancer. Anways, I also dont like it when anyone just anyone think they can just call me with one silly finger lol and ask me to cover over because you want to talk to me, I dont care what you are doing, pls dont call me like that. NAH.. i dont like it. Thirdly, it will not go anyway and truth be told I feel uncomfortable around some people that I can just sense from afar that NO OH. NOT MY TYPE.
Yes we all have preferences.

So, my defensive side was immediately up including my guards. Unknown to Jel, it not like I was running away from the dude cos I was shy but because I really didnt want to talk to him(am not shy like that). I didnt want to be  that person he would have the opportunity to talk rubbish with and I am usually RIGHT. She insisted ohh, no joke, she dragged me all the way am telling you. I even tried to dodge by dancing on the dance floor, she  still came to drag me. I eventually gave in, so I went to talk to the fuji keyboardist, and as I  believed, he said the things I would have predicted.

FK: Why are you running from me.
Me: (Unmentally prepared to be rude) replied, I am not running away.
FK: Can I have your number.
Me: Oh, I dont have it on me, let me go and check my bag (opportunity to run away).

I knew it, it my number ko my number ni..lol. I carried on dancing  and tried to avoid him. There was Jel again, pushing me and I just flipped on her that she should leave me  alone "I DONT WANT". As I was throwing yanga with jel,  I didnt know the Fuji keyboardist was behind me(the live band had rounded up). Next, I knew someone just grabbed my hand, instantly I yanked my hand off his grip, (you see, only an opportunist can  do that).

FK: You said you were coming to collect the number (something along those lines).
Me:  I looked away and was very uncomfortable too.
FK:So why did you lie? (with a yoruba  accent)
Me: I didn't feel comfortable telling you the truth(in my head, what is this rubbish).
I normally dont lie, but sometimes in situations like this, I always make up a story, either my phone is not with  me or  that my friend has it etc because some wont give up.. araggh.. infact it got to the point where I just give my email to the ones that refuses to give up and most times, I say NO I dont want to give you my number.
FK: I would like to get to know you. You danced really well.
Me: Thank you, very flattering.
FK: I am impressed, can I have your number.
Me: (hesitant) I have a boyfriend.
FK: It doesnt matter, I wont see  you again and I would like to stay in contact.
Me: ahhh it matters, I have a bf and I dont think its fair (abeg JESUS is my bf oh).

Well, I thought I had lost him after that, myself and jel danced abit more  and it was time to go home. I was walking down the stairs when I saw his pink top(thanks to my photogenic brain). Boom, I ran out of the hall,  more like I flew  out of the HALL, lol. No, I walked really fast . I was praying to God  that  he wont follow me cos I will be really cross.

I got out and I knew jel was behind but had to wait in a corner for her. She eventually showed up, the dude approached her and   mentioned  how he tried and blah blah and wrote his number down. I told her beforehand not to give my number to him, am glad she didnt. We got on the bus, she couldnt stop laughing,  and I said to her that she  didnt know me oh.. I dont like dude asking me for my number.

In a nutshell, she mentioned  I was being immature for running away and it would be polite to at least speak to him. The thing is talk or no talk it does not guarantee politeness. I  also felt it was not rude to ignore him and I have a choice not to talk to him. Besides, I cant stop at every call, at every signal to speak to a dude and I dont consider that rude(except if I know its a genuine matter, how would I know? leave that to me). If I know you have no hidden agenda, trust me I am as friendly as ever but once my spirit feels uncomfortable or I sense something then its a NO(whether or not am right).(abit of contradiction sha).  I suppose to an extent I tried communicating this with Jelony but I ended talking gibberish because a) I couldn't communicate/articulate what was  in my head  properly and b) I think its harder for some people to understand why I  react the I way  do.

I remember saying to her over the weekend, that I dont like guys like that lol. What I meant by that was, I am not that kind of girl that is always around dudes or feels comfortable to just allow any dude to talk to me or come into my zone like that.Even if I like the guy, that is it, I just like him nothing more, lol ( will blog about it sometime). It takes a while for me to think oh this dude or guy  has no hidden agenda  before I allow myself to relax  and jam my hype. It also takes me a while to feel comfortable around guys  and the only way that I can feel comfortable around a guy/dude  is a) If I  knew the dude before in the past or someone  I know, knows them. You get the drift, there is a link, cos I can always go and ask the person for info.lol.  b) if they behave themselves.  I dont become friends with random strangers esp on the street. It irks me alot.

That is the end of the story.

Thanks for reading.

God is love....xoxoxox

P.S. I was gonna upload a pic of me and jel at the wedding tried my best it didnt happen. Hopefully if she

emails me a version will do  it next time.. xxx

Back in FULL MOTION......

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 Comments, Views, Opinions, Expressions, Ideas etc etc are all welcome..

Hello Sweet people,

Have YOU MISSED ME?? heheh you cant lie ohh, you have, you have, you so have.. I missed you plenty too..

There is so much to say, I have so many posts to write about.

First, Thank God I have rounded up -ish...lol... (but I am free for a veryyyy long time but not so free, I can make more time to BLOG). YAY..

Secondly, I doing more consultancy with my marketing skills now..YAY. well, I hope to put into good use (more on that in a future post).

Thirdly, I miss all my bloggess so I will be doing alot more catching up...(well hopefully, I will).

Fourthly, I want to say a MASSIVE THANK YOU to all that  came to visit and asked about my well being that meant alot, and it showed you are truly a friend... xxxx (I wont mention names, but you know who you are, SWEET HUGS and blessings coming your way..).

Overall, I am thankful to God, JESUS and Holy Spirit for seeing us through,even to this month of September and many more months. We  are not  special or lucky to be alive, it is by grace, mercy and favour and I pray it will not end.
 In fact, recently I have been thinking, is dying a disadvantage?  I felt this way based on the prayer points expressed in church. For instance, if they want to get you to pray "Some people didn't wake up this morning and some people saw this year but not alive" So pray and thank God. Instead of actually just thanking  God for my life and family, I pray for the souls of the departed, because I feel like what right do I have to be here, also thank God for the lives they have  lived and their families  to receive comfort. I pray not only to thank God for my life but to live a life of purpose to myself and others.

Anyhoo, enough of my mindset, I have a very interesting, peculiar mindset so I question things alot not because I like to find faults but because I simply feel we sometimes follow traditions and do things in that way.

Back to the post, so be expecting a lot more current posts from me, a lot more romantic stories and life lesson stories etc. And oh, there is this phrase some people say "Whats new"? and I say nothing.lol but actually there is something new.. God mercies are new everyday. Happy smiles.  But,  I think that  the question or phrase is just so there, alot of things are  new with me, i.e. have gained more weight, which I like but dont like because lol.. let just leave it. Lets just say I hate shopping for new stuff that starts with B. FULL STOP. argghhh

 I will step out now and hope to blog more.

Have an awesome favoured week.

XXX

God is able  and can do abundantly and exceedingly more than we ever hope, wish or dream of.....

He and SHE SAYS YES I DO !!..

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Hello Everyone,

Ok, so am on a blog roll..YAY... be glad ohh... happy smiles.

This is it,  sometimes there are certain things we are just not told about marriages or its sacrifices. Some of us are left thinking it is what we experienced in courtship that we will experience in marriage. But in courtship most people are on their best behaviour to woo us and us to woo them. If you happen to be with someone that is real and opens up to us. superawesome...if you are not with such person, it not soo superawesome. Either way, nothing prepares you more than reality.. You begin to see traces of not soo superawesome in that (superawesome courtship) and sometimes you begin to notice  the superawesome in that (not so awesome courtship). DO you get it???

Well it means, some of us we grow to be ourselves with the person we love and cohabitate with whilst  some of  us might actually struggle to share our space and freedom despite the lengthy and great courtship. There is no fast rule. I think its important to  ANTICIPATE,  FACE REALTY AND  PREPARE MENTALLY all by the grace of GOD.

There is a saying I  know  "you truly know someone when you live with them".

Well to paint a realistic picture, that day you both say YES I DO. It means you are saying to all the anticipated and unanticipated situations that could possibly occur in marriage. Joblessness,  illness, inlaws., loss etc.

You are saying YES I DO, to the  annoying, funny, interesting, challenging, disgusting, uproar, sweet, romantic, irritating, jaw screeching, relaxing, comfortable, emotions running high, I  will die for you any day  moments that will appear in different circumstances.

You are saying YES I DO, to the real person, their ups, downs, happy, not so happy, moody, not so moody, exciting, not so exciting, gives attention, withdraws attention, wants to communicate, but doesn't want to,  understands it but sometimes clueless, listens but doesn't listen, keeps making mistakes, keeps making excuses etc moments.

BASICALLY,  WE are saying YES I DO, to EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY ROCK AND ENHANCE THE MARRIAGE.

Its never easy to say YES I DO when we come face to face with reality. Its important that  the person we say YES I DO to,  are worth all the energy, efforts, time, stress, emotions,  pain, fear and LOVE.

P.S. I am not married oh and never have been but its amazing the ministration I get from the Holy Spiriee. I like to think one day I will have a marriage where I can discuss openly the dynamics of our relationships and commitment.I think its AMAZING to discuss openly about the expectations. I love marriage and I think its amazing that  God gave humans the ability,  for two people to desire to make  a decision to be with each other come rain and sunshine, to be good to each other, encourage each other, develop each other, fulfill purpose together etc.

Besides, I like to think with permission and agreement from Hubby, that we will use our marriage as a platform to educate and inform people about why we made the decision to say YES I DO, what we have come to learn and still learning about marriage etc.. I love learning and developing and I think as humans you can never get enough of it...

God is LOVE, and we should aim to love on ourselves and love others too.. Its can be hard sometimes but thank God for grace.. hehehe

xxxx

Spur of the MOMENT......post.

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Hello Beautiful people,

Thank you for the wonderful comment on my last post. Its nice to feel the love..........HUGS.

 I specially welcome new followers and greetings to old followers.

As usual, I do random post on my fb and this is a copied version of what I wrote on there. xxxx



So  does it mean that once the HUBBY SAYS YES, he will not be attracted to another WOMAN EVER?

Likewise does it mean once wifey  says YES, she will not be attracted to another DUDE?

ahhhh u are living in mugu planet if that the case..

HUMANS emotions are  fleeting. We are dynamic in nature and  we are  product of our environment. It  means we are influenced by various factors be it family, religion, education, media etc.  We are generally unpredictable, and  the more time we spend time with  people on our level the more we take a liking to them.

 ATTRACTION is usually a process and it  sometimes  takes time to manifest.  ATTRACTION does not mean you LOVE THE PERSON.  It just means they tickle ur taste buds. In the case of married couple, ITS IMPORTANT TO RECOGNISE why you are attracted to someone else and DEAL WITH . Also communicate it to your spouse.

Attraction does not mean you have to leave your partner and go around cheating. IT MEANS DEALING WITH THE ISSUE, kill the  thoughts, renew your mind and avoid situations that will encourage awkwardness...

IS IT EASY.. HECK NO.. it cant be,  nothing is easy in this life jor... but NO MORE EXCUSES..... its not only a matter of binding the devil, it a matter of praying for wisdom and applying measures and boundaries.

God is love and love on yourself and others too.

P.S. You are welcome to add, oppose and add lol..xxxx