153 and PROBABLY STILL COUNTING!!

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I am sat here behind my lappy, reading the news on Nigeria and the accident. I first saw the news sometimes on my mobile phone and my reaction  was "nothing" I said a word of prayer and left it there. Later on, I went on Myne Whitman blog and again I saw a post and left my comment and went to have a nap. I woke up did abit of research, felt bad and thought hmmm Nigeria. Called my Mum, complained for abit and thought mmm Nigeria.

Then I read the post on BN, Bella Naija and my heart began to melt, maybe not completely because to tell you am Numb. I remember Sunday, teaching the children as usual, dancing when it came to thanksgiving offering because its thanksgiving Sunday. In the midst of my joy,  I am grateful that God kept me and my family till this month, there were souls and people like myself wishing the same and badly wanting  that. I was immune, I didn't think about it. Not one silence did I offer. Monday comes: danced again and celebrated QUEENS JUBILEE.... Now am thinking: this life. What happens in different parts of the world at different time is truly INCREDIBLE.

 I have  felt too emotional for too long now, news about deaths or whatever is like ok.. its life. It happens everyday. Is it because this is about Nigeria, that why am more upset. YES. TOO MUCH TRAGEDY THIS YEAR IN THIS COUNTRY... WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???

My prayer life has even slipped. I am the kind that would go on my knees and pray for people THAT I  know and dont know. For God to protect us and deliver us and teach US. But these days, I go to bed  late, wake up and muffle something  thanking God for waking me and my family up and giving us life to see today. I dont pray  too long, hence I miss some pray points for people that might be in pain or hurting cos I would THINK am running late for the things I have to do. Note: am not saying my prayer would have stopped this but it could have helped.... (I believe in prayer because it actually in some bizarre way not coincidentally  WORKS).

The thing is, I know I take time to pray about the littlelest detail concerning life but sometimes you are so preoccupied with your own business and you carry on as  usual.

Sometimes, in my own space, I feel like my body is here but my mind isnt. I tell myself , what right do I have to think about good things when others have not eaten. But I pray and move on.

I dont even know why am doing this post because it could have been me or my family.

All I keep thinking is: we are all going to die so its cool but its not cool. They didnt have to die if things were a little different.

I dont know for NIGERIA. All I know is PEOPLE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO DIE HORRIBLE DEATH BEFORE THEIR TIME. ITS NOT cool or fair for someone to pay large sums of money and the detailed risk assessment is MISSED.?? I DONT UNDERSTAND...?? 21st Century and minimal details are missing. God knows the amount of lives that have been saved on previous flights on that particular airline used or others before IT.For REAL...

The other thing:I cant imagine dying and having my pics circulated over the internet with comment such "ooohhhh rest in peace". "so tragic". "gone too soon". "oh no God"... I hate them. I understand why people should rest in peace??? what does it even mean, I say it and am like what does it mean? Cos how can someone rest in peace when they have being mishandled.?? Am not angry ohh.. #justsaying#

so becos I hate them, I dont like saying them. SO am gonna say what I would prefer someone to say about me.

"I didnt know many of you personally, all your capabilities and the plans you had". I probably would have gotten the chance to meet you in the future". I genuinely do not know what to say but I can say I hope you are all in a better place. I still do not know what to say but the legacy and lives you have touched will never remain the same. I also pray that the families left behind will get through this. but how???? do not rest in heaven, fight and torment those that failed to do their duties.   GOD, WHERE WAS THEIR GUARDIAN ANGELS??

All in ALL. I HAVE ALWAYS said it "life full of surprises" so always show gratitude and appreciate it all.

GOD MY PRAYER AS USUAL.

YOU KNOW THE beginning from the end and an end from the beginning.

You knew this was going to happen, and am sure in your way you sent signals for (correction)but it was probably ignored. You probably even told some us not to go. Or better still you felt it was best they all came home. Or maybe it was a combination of many things that needed to happen for a better structure to take place. I DONT KNOW.

 FACT:  WE ARE ALL GOING TO leave this planet and all that we call  our own will no longer be..
SO I PRAY WHEN THAT TIME COMES, YOU ARE WAITING TO TAKE US, PLS JESUS HOLD OUR HANDS AND SUPPORT US (COS AM SURE IT GOING TO BE  A scary thing to see your soul leave your body no matter how prepared you are mentally). HELP OUR FAMILIES TO GET THROUGH THIS TOO.

LETS US NOT DIE BEFORE OUR TIME. "PROTECT US BY PILLAR OF CLOUD BY DAY AND PILLAR OF FIRE BY NIGHT.".

We will go off, still sleep and wake up and before we know it, this becomes history like everything else.  We will all go back to normal after a while.Just like people that passed away on the PLANE might have heard stories such as this, would have even said a silent prayer God dont let it be me or my family.

 THE CIRCLE OF LIFE BEGINS AGAIN, A child is born, a plane is sent out again, recruitment takes place to replace the loss, houses are built again, families gather for yearly remembrance. The souls of the departed will always leave us wandering  "it could have been different"...

So my READERS, life is what it is. Be REST ASSURED JESUS IS REAL AND HIS BLESSINGS ARE AMAZING.

I HOLD my head in my hands... pull my hair and cry my eyes out.. AGAIN NIGERIA??? WHY?