ITS CHRISTMAS.. WHOOP WHOOP.

Hello My Blogsvilefam,

I hope we are well.

Its Christmas..YAY.

WOW 2013 Christmas is here o. Can you believe it?

I can't. It came so fast.

I am grateful for life and the grace to celebrate in good health with my family and love ones.

I pray all our dreams and wishes will still come through.

JESUS is the reason for the season but sometimes it gets lost in the midst of everything, infact it mostly lost.

I am still finding my through it all.

From me to your love ones.

P.S.If you have nothing to be grateful for, be grateful that at least you can eat well and not have to be fed by a syringe or drip.. Be grateful and have a thankful heart.

Jesus is the reason for the season.

**Feeling Good**

Hello People,

I am so blog inspired and motivated.

I will be talking motivational today. Oh yeah. *winks*
Please you are welcome to share with your friends.

Feeling good: what is this all about and why  is it important?
Well honey, only you can answer the question correctly but pls hear what I have to say.

The idea of feeling good for me basically means choosing to stay positive, being positive and allowing my inner beauty i.e. the burst of energy that  resides inside to  radiate outside  triumphing over any negativity around me. In a nutshell, being confident and loving it.

I am totally  a "feel good" kind of person in that I don't care at all for other people's opinion emphasis placed on the bad ones. I am a happy go lucky child and one thing am grateful for is that I can be oblivious to certain things. I don't know why but sometimes my mind just does not acknowledge the meanest, saddest or insulting things some people chose to say or do. I sometimes notice much later that the person just said something rude but in that point in time I don't hear or see it.  I am glad am that way in fact I pray to continue to stay that way because I sure do not want anyone from anywhere to feel they can open their mouth and rain in my parade. Constructive criticism yes am open to and other good remarks but constant negativity and all sorts No, I am not open to it.

Why? what point is it that I abhor or indulge in such talks especially when the rationale is absolutely dumb. For instance, I am not a shy person noo and am quite happy to dance my socks away on the dance floor although to some people it looks odd or not posh or whatever etc. The truth is you can't cringe for me because at that point in time am having the ultimate fun ever!!!.
I recall  a situation at a wedding on the dance floor, doing my famous moves lol, my friend tried to tell me to tone it down, hahaha bless her she was embarrassed for me. I turned to her and just completely carried on dancing.

Also with my natural hair, I had alot of I can't believe you cut your hair, people that don't talk to me on a normal day sat me down etc  oo this ooo that. I laughed it off, I didn't care and  I rocked it with confidence. In fact one of my besties always dizzes naturals lol, that we look like village girls etc. I told her to wait till she sees me.  I look funky o, village has nothing on me. She was wowed plus I rocked it with so much love.

The  point of the illustration goes to show that I can't be tamed and I don't want to be tamed. There will come a time in my life maybe I will feel somehow but until then allow me o.

I also think part of feeling good is being happy, like appreciating life, appreciating you  and be full of it. In my old workplace, they loved my enthusiasm to constantly want to do things. It is part of feel good. I like using my initiative to help out without expecting back although it is only courtesy to be grateful. I think its a prayer point worth asking God, "help me to do things and be kind without thinking or expecting anything back".

In a nutshell, I am a feel good person it shows in all part of me. I am always upbeat, optimistic and whether you know me personally or you don't you will always feel it somehow. I don't like to hold myself back mentally because I have only one life to live besides  once I get past a certain age I can't wish it  back.

2014 by his grace will be one of the best UPBEAT year. I have alot of desires to accomplish but importantly I want to be inspired and inspire others.We will inspire each other.

Live, Love and ROCK.

Jesus best boo. Nobody shouldn't tell me Jesus didn't have fun say what? Jesus traveled saw and met different people so I mean CAMon.. lol.

P.S. Fun does not mean self damage or doing things that are  harmful to both yourself and others. xxx

                                        Bad boy Marble cake. lol. 1st attempt. x

Lovingly loving NATURAL. *smiles*

Hello People,

I trust we are doing "schemazing" Nicole on x factor. lol. x

I have been on this natural hair journey for close to seven months now I believe. Big chopped in July click here.
I can't emphasis or express how I am my loving natural hair and how it compliments my features.
I didn't think I would love it this much but I LOVE MY HAIR. I am in love with it.
I just love the journey and the relationship am having with it.
Its supercool.

I am excited to share my hair regime and pictures so far: 

My regime is simple I use less products on my hair.

I usually deep condition weekly.

 Loads of water and cold water to seal the moisture.(My hair loves cold water).

I find my hair does not like home made remedies like apple vinegar and bicarbonate soda (my Sis and Mum use them). I experience more hair sheds/breakage when I use them.

I like the avocado deep conditioner which I think my hair needs yet again I experience more hair sheds too.I try to minimise  usage to 2-3 weeks.

My hair does however used to like egg mayonnaise even when it was relaxed  but I am not sure about now? Egg mayonnaise is still my go to deep conditioner. My relaxed and shorter natural hair thrived in it.

I do plan to try something I did before which is only based on water. I will try it again couple of times and hopefully get to share the experience.

My hair loves Shea butter, castor oil, almond oil, coconut oil etc. 

I got some raw Shea butter from Niaj, nothing beats the raw ones which I mix with other oils. 

P.S. I don't mind hair sheds but not excessively though.

If you didn't know by now lol, taking pictures and posing for the camera is one of my favourite things. I just love it.

                                           

                              I thought I should throw this in. I tried with my gele gidi gon. lol. x

Thanks for reading.

God bless you and your love ones. x

'Closure' What about it?

Hello Boo,

I trust we are all well and shining bright like  a diamond. I pray God's  protection will continually be upon us and our family members..xxx

This topic is actually an interesting one. Ok, I read a post on Bella Niaja lol o, see my life anyway please click here.The post is not about the BN topic itself per say, its more of ideas on how people view relationships, break ups etc.
I know and I respect we all have varied opinions, advice and solutions to dealing with break ups and situations. I know some of us offer what is best for us but I tend to choose solutions that has the potential to solve a situation in some way  and provide healing of some sort.

I am not sure if you are familiar with the term 'closure' I think some of us might be. It generally means an act of closing something according to Google web. My interpretation, it means the purpose of finding answers that will provide an insight or possible solution to a problem. In the context of a  break -up of any kind, some people desire closure to help them with unanswered answers or putting  puzzles together to provide clarity or help them move on etc. But I often wonder if truly some of us need this so called "closure" as some people might suggest. I can't help but think that  "closure" will do nothing but even create more puzzles than before depending on the situation, frame of mind and individual.
If an individual is seeking closure it means the relationship was never real from the start because if it was real then it is only imperative, normal, noble and just for both parties or the other  to explain why the relationship is coming to an end. Remember a relationship might be real to you but not to the other person or better still be real to both parties but convicted in one more than the other or attached to one more than the other. For example, I could be dating a dude but have my guards up and he could however think am all for it which I am but totally one leg in and one leg out. You get my drift.

I think generally it is human nature to be in the know, seek answers, justify reasons and understand why this happened and why it is not happening etc. The harsh truth  is some of us will never be in the  know and the not knowing can actually be a good thing depending on the severity of the situation and how you manipulate the situation.
I think asking for a closure in dealing with a break up when the other person has clearly moved on or show the signs that they want to move on is simply a bad idea. When some people decide to move on, they totally block out the past and intimate details and completely switch off (unfortunately that is the harsh truth). Now, asking such person to provide closure would mean they should go back to the past and dig out what they have buried which quite frankly some people will not do as they don't see the point or want to go through the emotions.
On the other hand, the closure one is seeking might be an opportunity to start another episode of unnecessary arguments and disagreements that does nothing but show more holes and more tragedy especially when you find out the true intentions of the person was unfair and conniving? It might just make it even worse in my opinion.

How about,  if the other party has nothing to disclose I mean nothing significant to bring to the closure. For example the post on Bella Niaja which is about a lady who fell for a man with a shady attitude. The "shady" dude had a motive and whatever it was he exhibited some of it, it is now up to the woman to decide whether or not she will use it as a cue or simply live in cuckoo land and disregard major evidence. In the case of a closure as suggested by a commentator what should the "shady" guy say? What will be his reason or reasons? To top it off he is now married. Will the closure actually help her or make a difference?

Besides, I believe if  a break up occurs in a loveless, selfish and crap relationship then closure is pointless. Amazing opportunity to simply thank God that your life will take better form.  In a loving, sweet and genuine relationships (though I wonder why they should be break-ups), then  I guess a closure would make more sense but wait was it ever truly genuine from both parties or did it just appear that way? Also the questions need to be asked?  Why the closure and what will it do? The truth is, people that hold back info/cover things up in the relationship will never ever ever be open in a closure. Say what? he/she was never 100% authentic in the relationship so now that it has ended, you are concerning yourself with closure?.  Maybe they will be real to themselves but it takes maturity, a level of self journey, insight and a  level of confidence to be real to yourself and to others.
In any case, whatever we chose to do should be traced back to our motive, because the purpose of knowing your motives will help determine whether this a closure is  a better option or not.

I was in a relationship that I thought was great, loving etc etc until he dropped the bombshell and for a long time a part of me wanted to see him and ask him loads of questions as to why this happened or why it didn't happen etc. The questions and puzzles swam  around in my head but  the one question remained  will it change anything? Will it change the fact that you two are no longer together, will it change the fact that you were highly upset and it affected your grades etc, what will it change and what will it do for you per say? That when I realised that I didn't quite get it yet and that was why I needed to go on this journey. To understand that stuff happen and stuff will happen but you do what you do, you learn from it, forgive yourself and move on from that situation with a positive outlook and approach.
What is much better? a closure that does nothing but troubles you in comparison to simply accepting it was to be because no mattter how you try with closure it is still a learning process, you are to learn from it and become stronger.
Maybe in the case of a cheating spouse, I get having a closure but am not sure if it is the other spouse that should ask for it or the person should simply confess and from there,  open and honest communication should take place.

My point is, if you  desire a closure be sure you have clear motives behind it and you understand them and think clearly whether or not it will actually make a difference?
I don't care about closures or encourage them. I encourage communication and clarity  if it permits  but  closure I don't know.
Depending on the situation i.e. if it was a long term relationship and circumstances of the relationship then maybe closure can be demanding but be aware it might even leave a more bitter taste in your mouth.

I am done now. lol.
As always your opinions, thoughts, ideas etc are most welcome.

Thank you for reading. Be blessed.

                               Dust yourself and try again. Aliyah x

Abortion-Get Rid Off. An inspired post

Hi Everyone,

I trust we are all well and prepping for Christmas etc. I pray all our dreams that are yet to come true will do so. I also pray we will have a pain free, catastrophe free, accidents free, bombing free Christmas season. Amen.

This post was inspired by a comment I read on Bella Niaja click here for the post.Click here for the comments and I also commented.
I planned to upload a different topic but I had to do this.

To be honest, the topic on  abortion is a strange one, maybe complex and touchy subject for some. I have watched various documentaries on it and seen various advocates for and against it. In a nutshell, I have never really had a view on it other than I won't advocate it and I certainly will not encourage it. I have always thought that the only person that could make the decision most times is the woman. Her decision is based on her principles and core values.

However, I do not accept, or think it is right aside for medical reasons that can put both mother and child into jeopardy even with that (I will encourage to rely on faith).  It hurt when I read the comment on Bella Naija about a woman that had an abortion because her hubby encouraged her to and now she is struggling to birth and has had  several miscarriages.
Personally, I might be naive o, I do not accept a man/bf/husband etc that has impregnated another woman to tell her to "GET RID OFF" I don't care what the  excuses, motives, situations, ideologies whatever it is but abortion should be the last result aside from medical complications. I think anyone that suggests that is rude, selfish, wicked and EVIL. Why do you say such thing?

My reasons,  if they had aborted the person in question due to his/her parental circumstances will they be here? Nope. They wont. so why then would you deny someone else the opportunity?
To make matters worse, I hate it when it is married men that are telling their wives to abort the babies, I don't care if you are wretched and living from mouth to mouth, if you don't want to have any more babies (do family planning) or cut your loins which will not be considered. I even hate it more when married men tell their wives that are preggo for the first time to get rid off  of the child? Why? Why?
Children are blessings in the very least if your partner says that to you and lists all the possible reasons as not to keep the baby, then they have failed you YES, they have failed in their role as a man to protect, assure, support, encourage and be bold. They have failed to understand and comprehend the bigger vision. They have failed to consider the vows appropriately, they have failed to consider the blessings that is yet to come through this child above all they have failed to comprehend the power of their own seed that has allowed to possibly father a child where others have tried to no avail even with medical and all.

For such men, I can only pity them and their myopic mind.I hate to see women put themselves through such agony and say they are doing it for love...? What? Love? where is the love in that? The love for the guy or the love for  your own selfish reasons? or love for the unborn child? I stress that if love was ever involved in the relationship from the beginning then being pregnant under any conditions just raises/up the game to even stretch yourself  and become less selfish and more responsible with the ability to  love endlessly without waiting for the other. Yes, a child born into love will know from the very first day it ran and joined the ovaries lol.
I know there are deeper issues like rape, unwanted situations e.g. cheating etc that might have allowed such situation  but again any decision to which especially rape and medical reasons I will totally respect the need for the person to do as they wish. In fact I totally respect any decision be none medical I as I have stated above. I just do not like it when the lady carrying the child is coerced into abortion against her will but I guess there are reasons behind it all.

All I am saying is, as a woman with a choice, be careful about the risks you are taking with getting rid off the pregnancy as advised by your spouse or family members/friends. Think carefully, for every action there is a consequence. I also know some people who have had an abortion in the past are still struggling years on to bear a child of their own plus heard a lot of stories too. They have been advised wrongly and are regretting their actions.

So please, if anything consider the various options available to you.

P.S. Did I tell you that Dad told Mum to get rid off me? His excuse he didn't have money.. what??
I am glad Mum didn't cos boy I wont be here will I? and above everything she will still be disappointed because it wasn't like  he was ready to love her and be there?

If people around you are doing it. THINK TWICE.
My best advice as ever, if you are not ready for the consequences don't involve SEX. Once you start having then be open minded to all sorts.

I guess this post was more of a reprimanding one lol. Its all love. x

Thanks for reading and visiting.
I will upload the other post soon. x

***PASSED*** off car shopping lol.

Hello Blogsville fam....

I trust we are all well.xx

I am so happy I finally PASSED O. Yes o, its been a long time coming but Glory to God I did it. I pray I will not use my license for accidents, evil or death... 

Ok so my testimony, I had been on this driving thing since summer  2011 after grad. I had not so good instructors that all they wanted was money and my naive mind didn't know better. To top it off I endured the shouting etc because I felt that was what I needed is a lie o. Cut to the chase, I passed after third attempt.

Ask me what happened?

Well I did my 2nd attempt early this month I was inspired to write this post Click Here.I was determined that I would hold onto my positive attitude and not give into doubts no matter what, which came in leaps and bounds but I held onto positive thoughts and faith. I declared  that I had already passed but only going for a cruise.... I am just so grateful to God for allowing this.

I would like to encourage you that no matter what is happening, the power of positivity goes a long way, never underestimate the need to constantly stay on top by being positive and involving God's favour.

YES passing my driving is a big deal especially here, because it takes money, time, energy and much more mental attitude.

Here is my PASS PIC... YAY me.

Going back to my value and believe system

Hello Everyone,

I trust we are well.
I am thankful to all the comments I had on my last post *so sweet*. I am grateful for  everything including the opportunity to blog. x

Back to the topic of the day.
I will make this short and sweet (hopefully lol).

Each and every individual  has  a different value system and by that I mean what we are truly guided by e.g. our core unshakable  principles which can be  influenced by a  variety of sources. The other thing also is  we all have different believe system i.e. what we hold onto whether its spiritual,mental, physical etc. I think its almost the same thing but they are slightly different. What I mean by value system is what governs your principles, actions and state of mind. For example,your  principle might include zero tolerance for cheating. That means you don't like cheating and  you don't cheat others in essence you are fair so it reflects in your actions that means you avoid that path at all costs.The believe system is what governs your motives, ideologies and views etc. For example, to accept its wrong to lie and there is a punishment for it etc. Having said that, some of our values and believe system might be similar in some situations yet again different because the measure we all use to judge situations will most certainly be different to others. Like me, I don't mind returning clothes if I wore it once even if I have danced in it which I have done once btw ages ago cos I thought I wont need it anymore but my sister on the other hand is totally against it which some of us will agree, yes I see her point and where she is coming from but I at the time I was in different etc. Probably won't return something have worn anymore except in extreme cases. Anyways you get the gist.

So what does this mean and why am I writing about this jargon philosophy etc. This is because I came to a recent understanding which I will admit is work in progress.
As an individual like some of us might tell, am a positive person, as in I try as much as possible to dwell on the good things not the bad but if anything  learn from it. It might appear that my world is rosy sometimes based on what I share  on this  blog but the truth is my world is full of all sorts but  its mostly full of roses because I chose for it to be that way. Since, I can remember I have always being positive and incredibly optimistic you can't beat my optimism, an ex of mine used to tell me I had a gift of faith. Anyhoo, there have been situations and times where I am trusting for something although I couldn't see it but I believed and professed what I wanted despite all the negatives, including the  highs and lows and to the glory of God I do have testimonies out of it. As long as I don't a)give into doubt because it comes in leaps and bounds b)I keep seeing and believing in that very thing I want and working towards it making sure my motives are genuine.  Its fair to admit that not everything works according to what I imagine but sometimes  it does work out better than or in a different way than I imagine which I guess I  get to learn from either way I know for sure God has a better plan which makes it even more exciting.

Why am I blogging about it? It is because in the past I have experienced some things that have made me doubt the need to be more  positive and optimistic. While I know that the world is not in  black and white I must admit I have  allowed the not so good  experiences and even other people experiences influence and   shake my value and believe system making me more complacent and indifferent in short  "not bothered".  The truth is, this attitude of indifference might work for other people but I don't believe it is for me. I felt maybe I was too naive and I should try to be maybe "liberal" and go with the flow like" if it happens it happens "and "if it does not it does not", either way life is good. To an extent I think its good to think this way because it kinda helps to deal with disappointments but it can also have an effect that I don't think its healthy.Yeah, in some situations I will perhaps be less expectant e.g. the turn outs for my birthday but I do  believe this attitude is making me less positive and more negative. I get the gist of thinking this way, i.e."what will be will be" or "whatever happens happens" but  this way makes  me less hungry, less passionate, very lazy and also adopt a defeat attitude. I don't want to be "what will be will be," we are all masters of our destiny and I should be hungry to fight for what is right and approval. Anything can be "what will be will be" but if everyone felt that way the world will not be where it is today. Truth is "what will be will probably  be" but not after we have fought the good fight and its pays off.

Cut to the chase, I am going back to my value and believe system  going with the flow and whatever happens etc works for some people but for me I am not a go with the flow person, I am not whatever happens happens person, I am not what will be will be, I am not fair enough, I am not a bunch of cliches. I am a woman of faith that believes in the power of positive thinking and dreams because in life nothing is impossible.  I am a woman that is grateful for life experiences and lessons but always chose to have a testimony at the end and appreciate it is not my doing nor my power.  For me,I have chosen to make my value and believe system work for me if it is God that I believe so be it, if things don't happen the way I want  I believe there is a lesson to be learnt and something better is around the corner no matter what my expectations are.

I challenge you to go back to the drawing board,  access the bad, take the good and have fun with the ugly.

God bless. x

In the mean time... found this YT video, she is very bubbly alright.

CURRY NIGHT/BIRTHDAY DINNER YAY!!

Hello Blogsville,

Its been a while, I hope we are all well and blessed.
Thanks for stopping by and checking on the blog.

I have been busy with many things amongst them was my bday.....YAY.
I did say I will upload pics too.
It started out alright we drove all the way to Birmingham thank God for journey mercies.
Had some pedicure etc and off we went to get ready... my make-up courtesy of my sis  who did an amazing job btw.
After that, we bundled into the car and went to the lovely Akbar Restaurant which has a fantastic decor and excellent customer service and later some of us went to African Village and boy did I dance to afrobeats.. lol.
I must say I expected more turn out but more than happy with closest friends who traveled far and wide.... muahh to you sweets.. x
The pictures tell the story. I also baked my birthday cake.

                                       
                            

Thanks for visiting and reading.
P.S. I cut a different cake on the night.

God bless you and  your love ones. xxx

New jam btw, no clue what it means though...lol

When sharing your opinion is considered Negative

Hello my fellow blogfam,

I hope we are well.

 Wow someone is on a roll with posts.Anyways I think its a good thing that am feeling inspired to write more posts. 

What is this topic about?

In general, I am not one to pour sand in people's garri but if something does not feel right or can be done better  then I will  try to give an opinion that is constructive or better still worthy.

Now this is the way I think, if someone gives me negative attitude or comments or whatever depending on the scenario etc.Sometimes there is an element of truth in what they are saying,  it is just the way it was said  that will probably stung more. I guess  I now have the choice on how to deal with it/how it will affect me.

Personally, the meaning of negativity  is subjective to each individual and their  personality. I am generally critical with myself more than others around me so when someone is critical with me I don't mind as long as I know is coming from a place of love and care. If it isn't I will know but it still does not take a hold on me because I don't allow it to. Instead, I channel it all into positive energy and I thank God for that ability.

The internet and social media platforms has given a voice to every tom, dick and harry, so  when do we draw the line between people that generally spill out negative comments or those that give a harsh comment and its  considered negative.

I read alot of posts on Bella Naija, and I find that when a commentator has a different opinion that does   not necessarily tally to everyone then the person is negative(you should read Linda Ikeji now that serious venom)lol. For instance, the recent post I read was on a makeup/different tribes or brides we have in Nigeria. I went through the pics thinking its nice (I am not a make up person as you can tell from my pics so if it has dents and holes I probably wont notice). The only part was the yoruba bit I didn't like because it wasn't working as the fringe was exposed under the gele. Cut to the chase, some comments were about the make-up, photoshop etc. Some even said they could do a better job etc etc.Some attacked others that commented on the make up etc.

The truth is,I read the comments (i left my own too) but I could understand when people said they didn't like something which was fine because we can't please everyone but to say they are hating I felt it  was unnecessary.I hate to think each time we leave a comment it has to be something nice or pleasant etc. The honest truth is, it can't all be nice and it won't all be nice all the time.It is the ones that give a generous amount of criticism that actually  help to develop the person's work and make it better. Someone will always spot the mistakes and discuss them,  now it is the way they chose to say it that makes the difference but just because someone leaves a harsh comment does not mean they are negative perhaps it needed for that time to help you up.

I am not saying it is appropriate to dish out harsh comments or unpleasant things No it is not. But sometimes we need that to be better.

An acquaintance  that also bake cakes like me made a comment about my cake, did it hurt yes,( I know her to be envious) so when she said it, did it make me give up Nope, instead I was more determined to improve as ever. 

Point is, not all comments are negative and not all negative comments  come from a negative person. I believe in sifting through things, take the ones that you need and ditch the rest. There is no need to attack or not attack we are not enemies nah.  If you felt someone was negative either you understand its their personality and clearly stay away from them or  its not their personality confront them and they will explain themselves.If you can't confront them  as  it is via social media, just see it  as a platform to tell your story. We need people that will help us to help ourselves through their comments. There is no need for attacking people personally or private life  abeg just take the good, assess the bad and have fun with the ugly.

Is it easy to deal with it and move on. No, not in all cases but you are not the first to go through the situation and certainly wont be the last. Channel that energy into something positive and allow your inner ambition to rocket high. Your biggest critics will help you to sell out in the end cos they will talk about how well you have improved etc.

Thanks for reading.

Be Blessed and Stay blessed.

God is Love.

Meanwhile check out this cool video x

Still Championing my TWA!! YAY!

Hello Everyone,

Check out my hair update.
I have images to tell the story. x
Enjoy


                                                Big Chop June 2013

June-July 2013

                                                                  August 2013

                                                        October 2013

My hair regime so far:

Loads of water on my hair mostly each day

Loads of oil like coconut,castor, almond etc and shea butter too.

 I try to stretch my hair through twists out and cornrows.

So far am loving my hair and I think its super cool the way it changes my face each time.

Hope you had fun reading and gazing at my pics and appreciating God's beauty. Lol,am kidding.x

Thanks for visiting and reading.

Be Blessed and Stay Blessed.

God is Love*

Assumptions- Never underestimate its POWER.

Hello beautiful and blessed people,

I hope we are well and our loved ones are well too.

I appreciate the sneak peaks and comments on my last post.
It does feel good to be back, although I am yet to update everyone regarding how my new year resolutions  is going.

Back to the topic I aim to discuss.
Well the thing is, a situation occurred sometime ago that I felt I needed to address but on addressing it turned out that maybe just maybe I was subconsciously ruled by the power of ASSUMPTIONS.
You see as humans, I think its natural that we automatically assume certain things or assume more things than usual especially  when there is lack of clarity and communication. While some of us have used past experience to master/combat  the art of assumptions i.e. ability to clearly clarify things  and be sure before jumping into conclusions, some of us however have not yet to mastered the art or we are just good at  second guessing things.lol..

Most times, I like to be clear on things and not assume as much but sometimes the actions that someone portrays can also alter views and  allow room for assumptions. However, the power of assumptions can only take over   if I let IT.  I say let it because we have the power to control the thoughts we feed into our system and the way we chose to see a situation or interpret an action.
In some cases, the power of assumptions has caused alot of havoc, messed up alot of relationships and even destroyed what was once beautiful. Whether it is communication that is not strong enough or the ability to misinterpret things that is much stronger only the person in the situation is able to determine and obviously analyse the situation and make judgment.

This leads me to my recent story on assumption or should I say purposely led "assumption".
Myself and  a single friend of mine were catching up on gist and girly talk etc. In the mist of the convo, she mentioned she found a brother for me in church, I was like OK, (I am not a church brother type of person o)it just means I don't like the idea that church bros are better etc humans are still humans. Anyhoo,I recall saying ha am not interested, she said o he is igbo, shebi you like igbo boys. My response, well I used to cos my ex was igbo but now that am totally  over him am open to all ethnicity(well some). She was like since when, besides the dude she mentioned I felt was not my type lol, am sorry we all have a type don't we? and his face always looked serious. Cut long story short, we laughed about it and ended  there but was it?

It was about a  week or so, it was our department turn to clean the church, I came around to clean the toilets and other communal areas. The igbo dude in question is in the choir and plays the keyboard, the choir were rehearsing when I came to clean,while familiar faces said hello,I went about doing my bits. We have never exchanged pleasantries before but that day for the first time he came to approach me and said hello and we talked for a bit sha.....
From that day when dude saw me, he says hello and I found myself (ahem ahem looking forward to seeing him and having a massive grin on my face too) but I played it cool nah. I must say though, something didn't quite add up deep down.

Although,  he wasn't my type but I liked his smile, I thought it was cute (have I told you I like a sweet smile on  a dude? well now you know. I also like guys with BODY *coversface* when I say body I mean (forget it), renew mind pls. Ok,ok, I like them in nice hot thick body not fat though, no no just fine body which by the way the dude in question didn't have. However, I was subconsciously thinking to myself maybe if I get to know him sha I can overlook my vanity self. Funny thing was, during my small crush, Pastor preached on a topic and talked about "marrying a  potential that beauty fades". I thought hmmm maybe this is for me. He might not be all that I secretly desire in terms of physical attributes but hey no harm in being friends nah.

Over the duration, we would talk, found out what we both do, what we both studied and where our families are based etc. He  mentioned he went to Nigeria to visit but nothing else other than the family are well when I asked. So, no cue there that he is  unavailable anyhoo he asked for my facebook name which I replied it would be impossible to find me. I took his instead but couldn't find him. The next couple of times  we spoke we talked about the facebook thing and he proceeded to add me through mutual friends from church on Facebook.

As you do now, you look through the pics which I kinda felt nah brov, dude has got to be taken at least. I felt he was one of those Nigerian dudes that studied in the UK but have a potential gf, fiance or so back at home. When my friend (the lady that suggested the dude etc)approached the subject I said I don't think its gonna work and she kept on saying be optimistic etc but I had my doubts.  Yawah gas, the same lady/friend that was playing match.com later told me he might have gone to Nigeria to get married.

True true true, dude had gone to Niaj and brought a wife back. All this time, me thought dude was kinda into me just based on the actions.I sorta mentioned it to him that all this time he didn't tell me he was getting married  and he acted surprised or so etc.

All the same,the moral of the story is, I could have made a fool out of myself due to elements of assumptions. Things like these happen all the time and in all fairness I would have thought it was only normal to mention it that he is getting hooked but  hey he didn't and I assumed/misread into his actions bearing in my mind a seed was sown from lady/friend(be careful what you allow people tell you and what you read meaning into).

Point am trying to make is, just because people act a certain way or do certain things should not give us the go ahead to assume.Although, in some instances  it is blatantly obvious that 1+1= 2, I think its best to ask and be in the know. In some cases, some people do assume but have an open mind that it could go either way. Maybe the latter approach is more manageable, I dont know.

I will stop here.
I have learnt from this and continue to learn.

Thank you for  visiting and reading.
Be Blessed and Stay Blessed.
God is love.

Still championing my TWA, so far have been natural for 6months but did BIG CHOP 4months plus few days ago. I need to do an update of my recent hair.